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The Grey Life

by 711gemstone
6 replies
Some time ago somebody asked me to list the things that I feared the most.
He was telling me that human beings are motivated twice as much by fear as
compared with gain. He was suggesting that putting that list on a mirror
and looking at every day would get me more motivated.

At the top of my list was "having a grey life." In some ways I have been a
loner much of my life. It seems there are a lot of people who drift through
life, little excites them anymore and nobody needs them. Many die isolated
and alone. I don't want that to be me, but I am not sure how that can
motivate me.

What do you suggest and anybody feel the same?
#grey #life
  • Profile picture of the author vincentnguyen
    Seek friendships that are meaningful. If you feel alone, you should know that most people who seem like they have a lot of friends are genuinely alone on the inside as well. Finding great friendships is HARD. It's a number game.

    Let's take a slightly exaggerated example. Let's say you meet one new person a day and hold a conversation, screening them to see if you two are compatible. I'm willing to be even at that rate you'd STILL struggle with finding someone you click with on the deep level. So what am I saying? Get out and make friends. Be the one to initiate and invest in learning about other people. You'll eventually meet some awesome people who will hopefully reciprocate interest in a friendship. If you don't want to be lonely then seek companionship.

    Most people are afraid of initiating. Most people are terrible at being a friend. Learn to initiate and learn what it means to be a good friend. Even better yet, look back at people you've already met. In this past month alone I became quite close with three people I dismissed in the past as acquaintances.
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    • Profile picture of the author LastingLifeSuccess
      Anyone who is living the Grey LIfe has simply stopped taking risks.

      Risk a relationship with a woman of your choice. Risk a friendship with someone who meets your criteria as a friend.

      Risk spending a little cash on going out and having a date or going to a nightclub. If that doesn't work for you try church socials. I'm not kidding.

      But it takes risk of loss to receive the gain you desire: . . .The Bright Life!

      Best of luck!

      LLS
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      • Profile picture of the author 711gemstone
        But what if you have trouble making people notice you. I have had people walk away from me in the middle of a conversation because they thought we were done talking and didn't notice I was still talking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Houck
    I look at fear as something in the mind. So if I fear something I am thinking I fear it. I usually try and persue what I fear, and see how it affects me.

    Living the grey life, might be more being socially unaware. The only thing you can do is when talking to someone be aware of what is being said. Pay attention to the person your talking about. Also, I think somewhere on these forums someone mentions 30% of people will like you, 30% of people will hate you, and 30% could care less. Concentrate on the 30% of people who like you. The rest you dont really have to worry about.
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    • Profile picture of the author 711gemstone
      Originally Posted by Ken Houck View Post

      I look at fear as something in the mind. So if I fear something I am thinking I fear it. I usually try and persue what I fear, and see how it affects me.

      Living the grey life, might be more being socially unaware. The only thing you can do is when talking to someone be aware of what is being said. Pay attention to the person your talking about. Also, I think somewhere on these forums someone mentions 30% of people will like you, 30% of people will hate you, and 30% could care less. Concentrate on the 30% of people who like you. The rest you dont really have to worry about.
      For me, the fear doesn't affect me too much, but you are right about the social awareness. My mentor told me that it is a two-way street. He is always hammering on how nobody can really communicate. His phrase is, "Everybody has their personal semantic network, and the network changes with every word that is spoken, so it means something different."
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  • Profile picture of the author DoWhatWorks
    Hi 711gemstone,

    In my personal experience, I have found that people who are unable to get excited about life are under the impression that they need to receive the excitement from an external person or force outside of themselves. The truth about life, though, is that you have to make decisions about what you can get passionate about, and then pursue that thing or those things.

    For me personally, I found that life is most exciting when you are making a positive difference in other people's lives. Once you're able to get yourself into a position, or into a business where you know that you are really helping other people on a significant level, you will be able to get out of your own head, because your focus and passion will shift towards others. Once your focus and passion shifts towards providing value to others, you'll often begin to feel fulfilled and as though life as meaning. This, at least, has just been my experience. I hope you're able to find a path that is true for you.

    -Terry
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