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Moving out of a "Toxic Environment" To improve your business and life

by BlaineGlynn
9 replies
So, I'm a big believer that who you are is strongly influenced by who you are around, where you live and your overall "environment".
I have found that currently I'm living in a "toxic Environment" meaning the place I live does not fit me, it gets very cold for months out of the year, snows and generally brings my mood down. Now I have lived in tropical places and can say as a general roll the weather does have an overal effect on my mood and productivity.
Also, in conjunction with that I have found that some of the people I choose (and yes its always a choice) to have in my life really aren't looking to do anything with them selves. They are pleased working the 9-5 till retirement, settling down and waiting the rest of the years to slowly pass away.

I have been given the opportunity to move to a better place (climate wise), save more money by living there, get away from people who "bring me down" and actually live within blocks of a friend who happens to be extremely successful in IM.

The only thing I think is a hard decision at this point is I do have to give up being close to some family, a relationship which is ... ok, and a handful of really great friends.

As strange as it may sound, the decision is hard, and luckily I have a few months to think it over, so I still have a chance to really figure out what I'm going to do.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and generally found that getting out of a so called toxic environment has helped overall?

I think I know the answer and what I should do, but it really is something interesting to talk about.

~Blaine
#business #improve #life #moving #toxic environment
  • Profile picture of the author chinois
    You are right about getting out of a 'toxic environment'. It can be so detrimental to our personal pysche. I used to be in a 'toxic environment', my last work place is filled with negative people always suspicious about other colleague's intention and never do real productive work. Bad environment can really pull us down, we either get sucked into it and become one of them or we get really demoralised and depressed.

    Glad to be out of this 'toxic environment'. I can understand your feelings about leaving your family and friends...I left the workplace and did a drastic change of moving to anothe country.

    Good luck in whatever you do!
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  • Profile picture of the author katherine7
    Getting out of a toxic environment can be very difficult even though you know and recognize the advantages of doing so. One thing that really helped me is a movie called "Down the Rabbit Hole: What the Bleep Do We Know" There is a section in that film about emotional addictions. Basically, people don't like change because they are chemically addicted to the emotions created by their current situation. Watch the movie--they give a much better explanation. But the point is when I understood why I was finding it had to leave a situation that was so obviously toxic for me, it was much easier to move on to something healthier! I know this is a pretty unorthodox point of view, but I hope this helps!
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  • Profile picture of the author BlaineGlynn
    Great Thoughts everyone! I will definitely check out that movie!
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    Please stop digging up old threads to spam your links.
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  • Profile picture of the author TheAngelGuy
    Originally Posted by BlaineGlynn View Post

    The only thing I think is a hard decision at this point is I do have to give up being close to some family, a relationship which is ... ok, and a handful of really great friends.
    Blaine,

    I live in Florida, near Orlando, and I spent many years in South Florida, and not having the weather burdens or inconsistencies (as well as no state income tax) make it really tough to even consider living anywhere else, no matter what the appeal.

    It's funny, because you mentioned being "close to some family" as physical space, but in reality it's got nothing to do with physical space - it's the emotional or inner closeness, and that never goes away, not even with (true) friends.

    A decade or two ago, it might have been tough, because the only communication was via long-distance call. But now with texting and IM'ing, you'll find that they're really not as far away as it might seem.

    And besides, you take a piece of them with you whereever you go, anyway. Doesn't matter if it's Japan or the North Pole. Seriously, though, in the instant-anywhere-on-the-planet communication age that we're in, you'd be only hurting yourself to not live in the best place for YOU. These days ties aren't really broken because of physical distance.

    And as far as your sorta relationship goes...there's lots of other people looking for the right person, so wherever you go you'll find that, too!

    Good luck!

    - Paul
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      some of the people I choose (and yes its always a choice) to have in my life really aren't looking to do anything with them selves. They are pleased working the 9-5 till retirement, settling down and waiting the rest of the years to slowly pass away.
      Look at what you are saying there.

      It sounds condescending and judgmental. Why would you think those regular jobs or have offline careers are just waiting to die? Are they complaining about "toxic environments" or happy with their job and lifestyle?

      If you don't like where you are, move to where you want to be. No matter where you live, you create your environment.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author TheAngelGuy
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        If you don't like where you are, move to where you want to be. No matter where you live, you create your environment.
        Yeah, but how many people are conscious of it?
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  • Profile picture of the author oleskool
    I have a saying when people tell me they don't like where they are whether is it physical or mental."You are not a tree move". You don't have to say any where you are not comfortable.

    And if you move and decide you don't like it move again.

    Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author ConcordeWarrior
      I will say move away from a place that does not suit you especially if you do not own the place. It is easier when you rent, you have a notice to leave and then you can go.

      Don't keep yourself around the negative vibes. This is really important. The less you have to worry about your environment the better. Then you can concentrate on what is most important.

      Friends can be made everywhere and there is always airplanes to travel and visit family and phones to communicate. You don't need to stick with them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    Getting out of the toxic sandbox is important. It's also just as important to leave behind the toxic playmates.

    I used to have a best friend whose lifeview was so negative I felt like I was around an energy vampire. We hung out all the time and sure we had a blast - we used to explore all of Austin together (if you're looking to get away from the cold, come down here for a sharp contrast!), eat at all these crazy restaurants and blow countless amounts of money in vintage stores. We brought out the worst in each other. though. I could also constantly feel her resenting me at times, even if I didn't necessarily deserve it (I won't entirely blame it on her), and I got sick of waiting for the ticking time-bomb to go off in her own passive-aggressive manner...

    I miss the better times we hung out, but I won't bother boring you with all the excellent reasons we shouldn't be friends. The most SIGNIFICANT one, however, is this:

    Since she's gone, I feel a lot more free and have a lot more energy. I have the headspace to accomplish the things I want to do now that I no longer have to worry about you.

    If there's anyone in your life who is Dead Weight, be sure to clear them out as well. Life is too short for these people. It may be painful, but worth it in the long run.
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