2014 Resolutions, An endless road of sorrow?

Come 2014, we make more new year resolutions. But let's take a moment to reflect what we have resolved to do in the past year. How have they changed for you?

Maybe the same goal of losing weight, making more money/get promotions or finding more love somewhere. But how about all of those other times in between?

We have had many desires over 2013 I'm sure - some small (eg. I crave some delicious dessert), some large (eg. I want to get a kick-ass holiday in some exotic island), or many in between.

But what really has changed?

Well, for one, the feeling of "wanting" never changed. However, we have always sublimated, transformed or shifted what we aim towards what we would call "greener pastures".

What we actually enjoy instead, is the chase towards fulfilling desire. That instinct of chasing after prey and leaping onto it like a tiger.

Why would I say that? Well, because it is this very feeling that we all severely attach ourselves to. The moment we meet our goals, the moment we find satisfaction in some kind of task... That very moment is the start of a new goal.

But I'd ask you really... Morbidly speaking, the average life expectancy in the US is approximately 29200 days. Depending on your health, you could leave at 23725 days instead. Or maybe you are healthier, and you live to the ripe age of 36500 days.

How old are you now actually?

I'd take the example of 35 years. At 35 years, you'd have gone through at least half of your life. But what has really changed with your desires after every new year resolution?

I'm willing to say that you've continued desiring something. The object of your desires might have changed, but in truth we are all still hunting for something.

There are many people in this world who repeatedly preach the mindset and importance of abundance. Certainly, there are probably even thousands of people who talk about the idea of "abundance".

But the understanding and idea of "abundance" are two very different things...

Understanding abundance means this purely: Giving first!

Then there would be a few raised hands at this point of reading the post. They would argue, that they have always gave.

But there could be no doubt that at least 80% of these people who always believed they gave, gave with the intention of receiving. (Please do not be confused, I am not talking about the law of attraction, but life in general.)

I've seen people who have donated to charities with the intention of feeling good for themselves. The intentions may vary - social benefits... or just feeling that it is "morally upright".

"But Rechelle, as business people, we need to look at the tradeoffs and look for gains, especially if it's for business!"

But I simply implore you to reflect introspectively on how you've been facing the world this coming 2014. How has your life really changed for the better by constantly harboring an attitude of distrust and desire?

Happiness could come from getting the nicest car you've always dreamt of having or even the biggest mansion ever. It could come from clinching that business deal or receiving a romantic proposal from your partner. Happiness comes from all of those little goals you set yourself.

But do you know what's the problem with this kind of happiness?

It dies away.

Economics tells you about depreciating assets and desensitization. The more we experience something, the same amount of joy we received from it has disappeared. The more we ride the same rollercoaster, the lesser joy we derive from it.

This dying away surfaces in everything we'd think of as happiness - sex, drinking, partying, achievements, promotions, new belongings, etc.

Look beneath all of these, and you'd see that there is just one feeling that your body has been conditioned to have... Hunger.

The simple act of wanting something isn't bad. It is the act of self-afflicted hunger that is devastating.

I have never said that working diligently is something we should never do. Instead, we should work as hard as we can. But along the way, we should never tell ourselves that we are scarce - that we are hungry - that we are thirsty and need a quench in terms of our happiness.

Happiness is already there in all of us.

It's in gratitude and being satisfied for what you've already had. In a way, happiness is simply love. Not just any kind of love - but a peaceful, unconditional kind of love that is similar to how a parent cares for his or her child.

So in 2014, the next time you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself and others, and thinking that the only way to be happy is to get that car, that holiday, that house or that salary, etc...

Then you should stop yourself at that feeling of hunger.

You should never feel sorry for yourself. You should never feel inadequate.

If you look beneath everything material, it is just a feeling. Self-afflicting yourself with pain and hunger is like you are holding on to hot coal, hoping that the pain you get from the hot coal is going to get paid off.

Whether it pays off or not, that is up to your hard work. It is natural to be joyous, or even disappointed, but remember that the feeling is fleeting and temporary. It would eventually fade away.

What is really more important is to never feel hunger - and to always feel full. Full of love, satisfaction and gratefulness for whatever you have in your present moment.

Your children, your life, your husband/wife, your job, your friends, etc.

Even if your life has been stricken with poverty, with crime, with pain, with rape, murder or the worst things you've ever dreamt off. The deepest part of you to always feel joyous will never die.

Happiness really is a personal choice.

Here's to a new year...

Happy 2014,
Rechelle