Anyone else like this?

by jasdon
4 replies
I am a natural optimist - like most people I have moments of doubt, but I can usually turn that round to finding a solution out of most issues.

The thing is, whenever I openly show my optimism or confidence, the results aren't as good as I'd hoped. For example, I used to shoot clay targets competatively and even if I say so myself, I was pretty good. If I ever openly stated something like "I'll shoot 25 ex 25 on my next round", almost always I'd miss a target or two, or more.
Whenever I'd shoot 25 ex 25 it was after I had said nothing and kept my confidence and optimism to myself.

Recently I've not been making the money I'd like to, and I realised that I have been talking about financial success in a similar way, "this deal will make me $x, that should be worth $x" etc, not in a bragging way but just chatting about business to my wife.

From now on, I'm not going to mention anything about potential deals - I'll keep them to myself or only speak about them in a 'we'll see' kind of way, and I hope to see my profits increase.

Can anyone explain why this 'open optimism' has a negative effect on my acheivements, or have similar experiences?
  • Profile picture of the author Mark 2
    Actually what you are talking about is not a failure of Open Optimism. You start developing more expectations when you show open optimism. Keep your expectation to a minimum level when you face these sort of open demonstrations...
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    • Profile picture of the author jasdon
      Originally Posted by Mark 2 View Post

      Actually what you are talking about is not a failure of Open Optimism. You start developing more expectations when you show open optimism. Keep your expectation to a minimum level when you face these sort of open demonstrations...
      Thanks for the response Mark.

      Could you further explain 'keep your expectations to a minimum level...'.

      Going back to my clay shooting example, I expected to shoot 25 ex 25 every time I went out there - it just never happened if I stated openly that I thought I would.

      My expectation level was the same - I didn't lower my expectations when I kept my confidence to myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Igor Kheifets
    Originally Posted by jasdon View Post

    I am a natural optimist - like most people I have moments of doubt, but I can usually turn that round to finding a solution out of most issues.

    The thing is, whenever I openly show my optimism or confidence, the results aren't as good as I'd hoped. For example, I used to shoot clay targets competatively and even if I say so myself, I was pretty good. If I ever openly stated something like "I'll shoot 25 ex 25 on my next round", almost always I'd miss a target or two, or more.
    Whenever I'd shoot 25 ex 25 it was after I had said nothing and kept my confidence and optimism to myself.

    Recently I've not been making the money I'd like to, and I realised that I have been talking about financial success in a similar way, "this deal will make me , that should be worth " etc, not in a bragging way but just chatting about business to my wife.

    From now on, I'm not going to mention anything about potential deals - I'll keep them to myself or only speak about them in a 'we'll see' kind of way, and I hope to see my profits increase.

    Can anyone explain why this 'open optimism' has a negative effect on my acheivements, or have similar experiences?
    I also noticed this pattern and I think I know why this
    is happening.

    The thing is that the moment you say it, you immedeatly start
    thinking "What if?". What if I won't follow through with the promice?

    I guess it is either that, or that you do not belive your own words
    and that makes you manifest the complete opposite.

    Igor
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    • Profile picture of the author jasdon
      Originally Posted by igorhelpsyousucceed View Post

      I also noticed this pattern and I think I know why this
      is happening.

      The thing is that the moment you say it, you immedeatly start
      thinking "What if?". What if I won't follow through with the promice?
      I think this may be correct for me - it could be unneeded extra pressure.
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