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When to confront/stand up to somebody?

by Tuzzz94
7 replies
One of my highest values in life is mental stability, therefore, I try to not get offended and not pay attention when somebody disrespects me or demeans me. I've always seen it more as my own flaw when it offends me rather than their fault. I've put my focus on not caring about a discomfort that someone causes, rather than dealing with the person to eliminate their negative energy or actions towards me. Perhaps I took this too far to the point where others could take advantage of me.

My question is, and it's not a specific question, is: When do I stand up to somebody's behaviour and when do I ignore the person?

It has caused a lot of doubt in the past too, where someone is a bit disrespectful to me and in my mind I'm constantly like: "Would I be overreacting if I confronted him with his behaviour or am I being too submissive?" The lack of a answer to that question has caused a lot of doubt and negative feelings in the past, where I am not present at all anymore.
#confront or stand
  • Profile picture of the author vtte
    I think this really needs to be dealt on case-by-case basis. I believe it is also important to assess the personality and intention of the other party, as some people may be more compelled to be overbearing. The thing is, I think you are correct in saying that it is your decision to make: It may not be your flaw necessarily, but how you deal with the situation is definitely within your control. If you feel you have had enough,then communicate that in the most co-operative way possible to the other party. Effective teamwork is built when parties are honest and open in their communication, and I don't think holding something in is going to help in the future. However, if it is a minor annoyance, or if you're just having a bad day, confronting the other person may not be a wise idea. Compromise is a smart way to ensure objectives are met.

    A good way to view this in balance, in terms of self-importance is :

    Normal situations:
    You = Other Party

    Situations where you can sense that you just need to be a little considerate
    You = Other Party ( But endure it)

    Situations where you feel you are being taken advantage of

    You = Other party (HOWEVER - Address the issue)

    In other words, you should treat others how you would like to be treated. Personally, if someone ticks me off, I feel it is in my nature to be honest and tell them (if they can handle it).
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    • Profile picture of the author Salada325
      Perhaps another angle to take (though an admittedly simplified one) is a cost-benefit analysis of a given situation. Confronting someone is awkward and uncomfortable. Being disrespected, demeaned, belittled, irked, etc. is awkward and uncomfortable. "Is the awkwardness of confronting someone a price worth paying in order not to experience the discomfort of being disrespected?" As vtte said, I think the scale starts with grace for infrequent occurrences, but begins to tip toward confronting the person for repeat offences.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    Resist the situation. Or remove yourself from the situation. You have only these options. All else is madness. Do what resonates with your personal values and principles and feels right.
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    Visit http://www.bettermindbodyself.com for proven advice and techniques to elevate your mind, body, and self-image.

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  • Profile picture of the author sarah23
    When enough is enough, then one need to stand up.
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