The Top 5 Regrets Before Dying...

11 replies
I find the concept of time to be intriguing, because statistically, most spend every moment trying to get to the next circumstance that will "make" them happy.

We are just a paycheck, a relationship, or some other circumstance away from happiness. And if that's how we become "happy," once we achieve it we are also just a circumstance away from ruin.

Happiness has got to be a choice--a choice you make each and every day. To accept this moment, as it is, you won't necessarily be happy, but at least you can be at peace.

This study was reported by numerous media sources. The study involved interviewing numerous patients in hospice, on their deathbed, regarding their top 5 life regrets.

The top 5 regrets before dying:

1. I wish I hadn't worked so hard
2. I wish I hadn't always done just what others expected of me, and lived a life true to myself
3. I wish I'd the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I'd kept and maintained the few relationships that were REAL
5. I wish I'd let myself be happier and not worried so much

We are the only species that lives almost exclusively in the past and the future, never the present. We treat the moment as a means to an end.

I probably could have predicted the first one, but seeing it in this context carried different weight. I see people every day who don't do this. We celebrate workaholism.

I knew a man who worked his whole life to retire at 65 and die at 67. I don't want to wait until retirement. Or, there's the six-figure engineer I know who works 12 hour days and travels constantly to maintain the house HE'S NEVER IN.

It doesn't make sense.
#dying #regrets #top
  • Profile picture of the author EveGood
    At the end of my life, I hope to have a "I'm Glad I...List"

    I'm glad I spent lots of time with my daughter.
    I'm glad I traveled.
    I'm glad I played roller derby.
    ...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9152933].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    though my life is no example to follow right now ..with anything i have done their have been people who where 10 or 15 or more years down the path than i was..and i knew that was not where i wanted to be .

    14 years ago i fell of a platform 10 feet of the ground flipped in the air and hit a concrete floor head first but walked out of the hospital. 7 years ago at another job i pulled a muscle along my rib cage and the pain was like having a heart attack ..then a few years after that i develop a major anxity attack that lasted for days and the choice was drive to a hospital or into a wall.

    anyway because i study everything i can ..there is a much bigger fish to worry about .

    starting last year the options became stay on the path i was on..and suffer with obiesity and several preventable diseases and stay crippled from my back problems and my bi polar and high funtioning autism .. and di in 30 years .. or get them all under control and really start living and live for another hundred years at least barring traumatic sudden death .

    we have many tool and option to create lives we want that where not possible prior to today..and there will be more and more of these tools for us to use .

    i have also got to see in the last few years the real unglamorus part of getting old dealing with my own parents health problems ..and going to see one of them in a hospital or a nursing hom on a regular basis .

    differing life for decades is a bad plan .

    figure out the life you want to have and figure out how to live it .
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9153011].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ttjr21
    Something somewhat issues that I´m personally working on.

    1. I wish I hadn't been more involved at special school days.
    2. I wish I hadn't lived as the goverment expects.
    3. I wish I'd the courage to express don´t give a **** if I screw up.
    4. I wish I'd kept and maintained the few relationships that were REAL
    5. I wish I'd be happier if I hade more stable income.

    Well I´m trying to get in new ways and things that would do me better.
    At this time my daytime work ain´t the most motivating thing that I´m doing.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9153055].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    Originally Posted by Ryan Lindner View Post



    It doesn't make sense.
    when you understand that..getting old surprised most of the people who have gotten old ..because it was not a normal thing until the last 30 years to have a vast amount of people get old .. it use to be the healthiest alone who made it.. ww1 and ww2 cut into the number of people who where there to get old and it is now those who where children during the war who are the first generation to hit very old age in mass .

    good factory job ..beat working on farms or what all the options where ..and it was really difficult to start a business that wasn't just a job you owned ..because of the high cost of a brick and mortar .

    we have tool .. built up knowledge ..and opportunities that where not even dreamed of as possible
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9153056].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    Number 2 stands out to me the most.

    It's a daily battle that we all face. Deep down inside we all know what the right thing to do is. We know we have to face our fears, we know we have to be true to ourselves, and we know that the opinion's of others really doesn't matter. The problem is it's easier to say it then to live it.

    Nobody is perfect, but I think the key to happiness is to look yourself in the mirror and say, "What would I do if I was 100% confident in myself and the only opinion that mattered to me was my own." The next step is to go out and do it. Then do it again and again and again until your dreams become reality.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9153835].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dapaleezy
    At the end of my life I hope not to have any regrets.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9174297].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author AmericanMuscleTA
    I couldn't agree more, Ryan!!

    It's crazy, no one seems to live in the NOW. Either, everyone is talking about the past (sometimes I'm guilty on this... but I'm getting better), or they're talking about the future. They're never talking about what's going on right this moment.

    I definitely have some regrets in life... am I sure more will come (I believe we all will have regrets on our deathbed), but the goal is to minimize them, and learn to keep moving forward.
    Signature

    David Hunter | Duke of Marketing
    www.DukeOfMarketing.com
    www.BibleAndFriendsYouTube.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9174472].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Karol Z
    The list definitely seems accurate, but we don't always get to choose how we make our living, or at least not all of us. On top of that most of those regrets are inevitable. It's human to worry, try to fit in, and work. To conclude, I simply don't think that it's possible to avoid all of those regrets because in the end those actions are what makes us, us.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9174594].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tobyjensen
    I would only have one regret. I would always only have one regret. That regret is not achieving the next thing I want to do. For example if I died on my way to going to the movies with my son my only regret in life would be not having done it.

    That is not to say that I don’t have long term goals set, written down, divided up into medium and short term goals with a plan to achieve each one that I know will work. That is not to say that at all. It is to say that the most important thing I am doing I am doing it right now. What may happen in the future is only a next step.

    So maybe I would die not having been able to regret. Maybe it is about realizing you are going to die and not have done what you wanted too?
    Signature

    Toby Jensen - Invest in what works this time

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9178062].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Ryan Lindner
      Originally Posted by tobyjensen View Post

      I would only have one regret. I would always only have one regret. That regret is not achieving the next thing I want to do. For example if I died on my way to going to the movies with my son my only regret in life would be not having done it.

      That is not to say that I don't have long term goals set, written down, divided up into medium and short term goals with a plan to achieve each one that I know will work. That is not to say that at all. It is to say that the most important thing I am doing I am doing it right now. What may happen in the future is only a next step.

      So maybe I would die not having been able to regret. Maybe it is about realizing you are going to die and not have done what you wanted too?

      That's a very good point.

      But I think that presents the major problem...is that I wonder if we will ever reach a point where we have done "enough" to not have regret?

      I think that if we are always waiting for this or for that to happen to us to feel like we've "arrived," we'll always try to escape this moment right now, because this moment won't be good enough.

      This moment will always ever be a means to an end, a stepping stone to the next thing that will make us.

      Goals are great, but for me, as long as I lived (as a way of being) in a way that reflects those goals, I'm good. At least we all died trying. Most will never try at all.

      Great point.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9221059].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author cshilling22
    This is a really good topic. I have found myself at times so worried about the future that I have failed to enjoy the present. It can be hard at times because there is a balance between avoiding the stressful reality of the future and not letting it consume you.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9230562].message }}

Trending Topics