Vacuum Cleaners

9 years ago

Oh goodie - I get to be the first one here to make the observation that vacuum cleaners suck.

Gee I bet I didn't steal anyone's thunder with that one, huh?

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Sal
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sbucciarel Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Oh goodie - I get to be the first one here to make the observation that vacuum cleaners suck.

Gee I bet I didn't steal anyone's thunder with that one, huh?

Ok ... I got one now. Vacuum Cleaners are dirty little sex machines of perversion
The 5 Most Painful Masturbation Techniques You’ll Probably Still Try Because, Let’s Face It, Men Are Gross, and Sometimes Romance Can Be Just As Painful
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- alistair 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by sbucciarel
  
  Ok ... I got one now. Vacuum Cleaners are dirty little sex machines of perversion
  
  True story. I have a female friend that had a bad accident pleasuring herself with the hose on a vacuum cleaner only yesterday. I won't tell you where it got stuck. Anyway, I went to visit her in hospital today and found out she was in intensive care. When I spoke to the doctors they said although her condition was still serious, she was picking up nicely.
  
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- TimPhelan 9 years ago
  
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  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
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  TimPhelan 9 years ago
  
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sbucciarel

Banned 9 years ago

You stole mine. lol. Now I have nothing to say about vacuum cleaners.

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whateverpedia

9 years ago

This won't end well.

(It'll attract the wrong kind of posters).

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

First, thank you for the attention.

When I'm outside the store, the last thing I want to talk about is vacuum cleaners.

If I didn't sell them for a living, I wouldn't even know what brand we own.

A quick vacuum cleaner story.

Years ago, I used to sell rebuilt vacuum cleaners. So my store room was packed with used vacuum cleaners. Hundreds. In my display window, I had a 1905 upright vacuum on display, as a novelty.

One day, a young man and his girlfriend came in, and the guy said "How much for that vacuum cleaner in the window?" He was the first vacuum cleaner collector I had ever met.

I was going to charge him $20. He said "I have $75 on me. I can get more if you need it."

It tickled me that he was so eager. I told him. "For $75 you can have the vacuum cleaner in the window, and anything you find in the store room, that you can take with you"

He was there for hours, sifting through the mess, finding treasure. He made my day.
I just thought it was great that he was so happy with his find.

I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.

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whateverpedia 9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

(It'll attract the wrong kind of posters).

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

<snip>

Told you so.
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Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
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Richard Van 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.

How extraordinary. Over here we just let them stand by themselves.

Must have been an incredible thing to lean your vacuum on for her to have married you so soon after.

Have you got any others?
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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.

Obvoiusly, the vacuum leaner isn't working for you. Is it too late to get a refund?

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

How extraordinary. Over here we just let them stand by themselves.

Must have been an incredible thing to lean your vacuum on for her to have married you so soon after.

Have you got any others?

Originally Posted by Kurt

Obvoiusly, the vacuum leaner isn't working for you. Is it too late to get a refund?

Cleaner.

You guys are merciless.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.

I'm surprised nobody suggested that I married the vacuum cleaner.

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Kurt 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Cleaner.

You guys are merciless.

...another freudian typo I take it?
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- Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  ...another freudian typo I take it?
  
  Or in my case, a Claudian typo.
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  Obvoiusly, the vacuum leaner isn't working for you. Is it too late to get a refund?
  
  Obviously.....
  I fixed that for you.
  
  Claude is triumphant once again over the dark forces of Kurt.
  
  Thanks
  
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  bizgrower 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Or in my case, a Claudian typo.
  
  Obviously.....
  I fixed that for you.
  
  Claude is triumphant once again over the dark forces of Kurt.
  
  He is just going to say he meant to do that.
  
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  "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."
  
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  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by bizgrower
  
  He is just going to say he meant to do that.
  
  We both meant to do it. Kurt and I are Co-Geniuses.
  
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  seasoned 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  We both meant to do it. Kurt and I are Co-Geniuses.
  
  MAN, I could interpret that statement in a funny way, but NAWWWW......
  
  Steve
  
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Dennis Gaskill 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.

The least you could have done is refund her purchase price, but I'll bet she's still making payments on that sucker.

Originally Posted by alistair

True story. I have a female friend that had a bad accident pleasuring herself with the hose on a vacuum cleaner only yesterday.

Why on earth would she tell anyone what happened?
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- alistair 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill
  
  Why on earth would she tell anyone what happened?
  
  I think she just wanted to come clean.
  
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seasoned

9 years ago

Well heysal,

You know how german can be:
staubsauger! dust sucker vacuum cleaner!
spulmaschine! rinse machine dish washer!

I ESPECIALLY like the rinse machine! In the US, people constantly poke fun at them. Advertisers always tell you how BAD they were when they basically say "[but NOW] WE DO BETTER!"! The GERMANS call it what it is!

Steve

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joseph7384

9 years ago

As long as it has a vibrating riffle tray!

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WalkingCarpet

Banned 9 years ago

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whateverpedia 9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I always wanted to stick my thing into a vacuum hose and hit 'suck'

We know........
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Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
So that blind people can hate them as well.
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- alistair 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  We know........
  
  I don't. What thing?
  
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- Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  We know........
  
  ........HEY!
  
  I would never steal anyone else's line. I'm just too above that sort of thing.
  
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  bizgrower 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  ........HEY!
  
  I would never steal anyone else's line. I'm just too above that sort of thing.
  
  We know, dear.
  
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lanfear63 9 years ago

Then look no further than the New Dyson Baller. Perfect for a Walking Carpet. It beats, as it sweeps, as it reams.
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HeySal

9 years ago

Jeez TB - it's about time to rename this thread.

Something like "testosterone dementia thread" would be a little bit
apropos.

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Sal
When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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sbucciarel Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Jeez TB - it's about time to rename this thread.

Something like "testosterone dementia thread" would be a little bit
apropos.

This is what happens when you steal my perfectly innocent line and I have to come up with a new one.
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- HeySal 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by sbucciarel
  
  This is what happens when you steal my perfectly innocent line and I have to come up with a new one.
  
  Yeah, blame it on me. We all know you're as expert as Claude when it comes to derailing threads. Fortunately, you don't go completely insane over it like the guys do.
  
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  Sal
  When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
  Beyond the Path
  
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Khemosabi

9 years ago

Two words

SHOP VAC

"If properly used, it can remove the fingerprints"
"They'll be nothing left for the police dogs"

nuff said.

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Vacuum Cleaners

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