It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

positivenegative

9 years ago

Originally Posted by TimothyW

(feel free to add to this list)

People still . . .

.. . start daft threads in the OTF thinking they're relevant.

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TimothyW 9 years ago

Originally Posted by positivenegative

People still . . .

.. . start daft threads in the OTF thinking they're relevant.

Still don't know the meaning of "off topic."
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seasoned

9 years ago

Don't know what a domain is
Don't know what a domain NAME is
Think that

amazon.com/dp/B00EOE0WKQ/ref=nav_shopall_k_phone_top

is a valid URL
Think that the www on the above is meaningless.

Steve

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socialentry

Banned 9 years ago

Don't know how to program in C.
Have no idea what multivariate calculus might be
Have no idea how to write a compiler
Nor do they have any idea who the Chief of Staff of the People's Liberation Army is
They do not know either what is Duke Nukem 3d or other important cultural icons.

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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by socialentry

Don't know how to program in C.
Have no idea what multivariate calculus might be
Have no idea how to write a compiler
Nor do they have any idea who the Chief of Staff of the People's Liberation Army is
They do not know either what is Duke Nukem 3d or other important cultural icons.

They ALSO:

Don't know ADA
Don't know Pi to the 50th place.
Have no idea how to write an O/S
Don't know the 25th president of the US.
Don't know ZORK
Don't know Persian.(Meaning REAL Persian, and not the Farsi of today)

Steve

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Paul Myers

9 years ago

... still think the average person has any reason to know how to write code or list the qualifications for a valid URI.

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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Still have their Windows O/S set at "default". They have no idea that it can actually be customised.

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trustedmarketer

9 years ago

I have to say most kids around the world are smarter than most Adults when it comes to computers/wordwideweb

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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by trustedmarketer

I have to say most kids around the world are smarter than most Adults when it comes to computers/wordwideweb

NOT TRUE AT ALL! Some people in their 70s are adapt and even some that pity how little they know know more than the average kid about computers. My FATHER fits into that group. HECK, my father claimed he knew little about access and within a week was navigating like all 3 or 4 PROGRAMMING modes on Access and decided to even add to what he had planned to do. I guess I won't get any more requests to help out with THAT.

And YEAH, he can use it too. I'm sure he would laugh at the idea of using the internet or working with URLs as any great feat, but I never bothered to ask him. He has no trouble there either.

LIKEWISE, there are some kids that will throw around the idea of them being computer literate, belittle adults, etc... and they don't have a CLUE! So they can type in a URL, and know a little about a few apps, BIG DEAL!

When I was a kid, a lot of adults figured you were great at math, and knew computers, if you even simply played games. I STILL don't know why!

Steve

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discrat

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

NOT TRUE AT ALL! Some people in their 70s are adapt and even some that pity how little they know know more than the average kid about computers. My FATHER fits into that group. HECK, my father claimed he knew little about access and within a week was navigating like all 3 or 4 PROGRAMMING modes on Access and decided to even add to what he had planned to do. I guess I won't get any more requests to help out with THAT.

And YEAH, he can use it too. I'm sure he would laugh at the idea of using the internet or working with URLs as any great feat, but I never bothered to ask him. He has no trouble there either.

LIKEWISE, there are some kids that will throw around the idea of them being computer literate, belittle adults, etc... and they don't have a CLUE! So they can type in a URL, and know a little about a few apps, BIG DEAL!

When I was a kid, a lot of adults figured you were great at math, and knew computers, if you even simply played games. I STILL don't know why!

Steve

Your WRONG. I see kids that are in their TEENS that blow away people in their 40s with COMPUTER SCIENCE degrees. Not games I am talking about programming etc..etc..

TIME and TIME again, I see this

P.S. It is like trying to learn and speak a foreign language or playing golf. You start at a young age, say 3 ,you can Master it very efficiently.
A grown adult trying to learn Spanish fluently at 45 years is a damn, tough challenge.
Try it YOURSELF!!

EXACT same CONCEPT with COMPUTERS

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socialentry

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by discrat

Your WRONG. I see kids that are in their TEENS that blow away people in their 40s with COMPUTER SCIENCE degrees. Not games I am talking about programming etc..etc..

Thing is programming is to computer science what plumbing is to civil engineering.

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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by discrat

Your WRONG. I see kids that are in their TEENS that blow away people in their 40s with COMPUTER SCIENCE degrees. Not games I am talking about programming etc..etc..

TIME and TIME again, I see this

P.S. It is like trying to learn and speak a foreign language or playing golf. You start at a young age, say 3 ,you can Master it very efficiently.
A grown adult trying to learn Spanish fluently at 45 years is a damn, tough challenge.
Try it YOURSELF!!

EXACT same CONCEPT with COMPUTERS

Heck, earlier, people started with concepts. TODAY, mny that "try to learn" learn just the code. STILL, most teens don't even do THAT. And I wasn't talking about a mere degree.

Steve

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David Beroff

9 years ago

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seasoned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by David Beroff

Well, that is how MINE is! You want to know why? I got my address when you had to be INVITED! The one INVITING you set it up! I HATE the idea of Gmail, and always have, but I switched over from the email I had for like 7 YEARS when the company running the network had problems, and people got used to it.

I generally NEVER put my last name on anything unless it is private or I can avoid it.

Steve
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- David Beroff 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by seasoned
  
  Well, that is how MINE is!
  
  Absolutely nothing wrong with that, Steve. You actually have control over the account. The joke was in people thinking that a given email address is theirs, when it isn't.
  
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socialentry

Banned 9 years ago

Yeah, some kids go on school rampages sadly.

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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Let me give this a shot;

It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

Think they have a "System" that will win the Lottery.
Believe in "Luck"
Think that someone they follow has all the answers.
Think that Celebrities know something you don't.
Think you can lose weight without eating less and exercising more.
Think that they will get rich, without a ton of effort.
Think that women/men believe their stories.
Think that most people don't know when you are lying.
Think that every religious belief is silly, except their own.
Think that complete strangers care one iota about what you look like.
Believe anything a Politician says, is for any reason other than to get elected.
Think that your girlfriend online is really a girl.
Hope that their abusive boyfriend will change.
Think that if they yell loud enough, their argument will make more sense.
Don't realize that the love a dog feels for you, is just like the love you feel for him/her
In high school, think that they will still be bullied, when they get out of school.
In high school, think that being a complete nerd, isn't what's in demand now.
Think if their muscles are big enough, they will get the girl.
Get mad over stuff that happened before your 35 year old kid..was even born.
Think that what other people think about them...matters.
Don't know the real secret of a great marriage. Care about them, more than you care about yourself. And marry someone who shares that trait.
Argue about who is going to live on land, that they don't even own.
Think that you can't just leave, if the relationship spoils.
Watch love stories on TV, when there is one playing out in your real life.
Argue with people, you don't even care about.
Think that they don't have to change...for their life to change.

Don't know that if you just took the money to solve your problems, instead of using the money to get drunk enough to forget your problems....drinking might lose its appeal.

Think that the shape of the clouds, or what you dreamed, or the age lines in you hand, or the position of the stars, or what they believed 1,000 years ago....determines your life path.

....have no idea how strong they can be, if they have no other option.
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- socialentry Banned 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Believe anything an Politician says, is for any reason other than to get elected.
  
  But what if the politician fights 30 years in the jungle and could have surrendered to the government at any one time?
  
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HeySal

9 years ago

And Claude still doesn't know that animals have been found to have the same emotional IQ as humans. Yes - the animal does like you (or not). Actually, the idea of animal stupidity and lack of emotion is the idea that is waaaaaaaaaaay out of date.

If it helps you - emotion is a part of the "instinct" system.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

And Claude still doesn't know that animals have been found to have the same emotional IQ as humans. Yes - the animal does like you (or not). Actually, the idea of animal stupidity and lack of emotion is the idea that is waaaaaaaaaaay out of date.

If it helps you - emotion is a part of the "instinct" system.

Sal; That's what "It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...Don't realize that the love a dog feels for you, is just like the love you feel for him/her" means.

You mean about the lizard?

Emotions are in the Temperal lobes. Or, more generally, in the Limbic System.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbic_system

Reptiles have mostly a brain stem, and some lower brain activities. It's why lizards and snakes don't raise their young, like mammals.

Here.

http://science.howstuffworks.com/lif...ain/brain4.htm

(edited back in for the sake of continuity.)

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HeySal

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Sal; That's what "It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...Don't realize that the love a dog feels for you, is just like the love you feel for him/her" means.

You mean about the lizard?

Emotions are in the Temperal lobes. Or, more generally, in the Limbic System.
Limbic system - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Reptiles have mostly a brain stem, and some lower brain activities. It's why lizards and snakes don't raise their young, like mammals.

Here.

Brains for Instinct - How Your Brain Works

Got ya. Animals are smarter than people realize...all of them. Spiders rank 15 in intelligent life forms. Do they actually have emotion as we know it? Kinda hard to tell. They aren't beings that we get up real close and personal to. They do show fear.

It's because of the difference in the shape and size of the brain that it took science so long to admit that dogs feel about the same as we do about stuff. I'm not sure we can rule out emotion in reptiles just yet. Judging from the fact that they trust some people and not others, I'm thinking they have some sort of emotional base. Emotion, as I said, is the repercussion of instinct system. Fear, like, dislike, are all the body's way of telling an animal what is "safe" and what isn't. Seems to me since every being has instincts at some level, they would also have emotions.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Sal in bold. Me not in bold.

Got ya. Animals are smarter than people realize...all of them. Spiders rank 15 in intelligent life forms.

Instinct is pre-wired learning. Like knowing how to swallow, or how to breath. It's all brain stem stuff. But...I know nothing about spiders,

I'm not sure we can rule out emotion in reptiles just yet. Judging from the fact that they trust some people and not others, I'm thinking they have some sort of emotional base.

I used to be quite the Herpetologist when I was a young man. I raised and sold several different kinds of lizards.

They perceive you as a threat or they don't. And some species are less aggressive than others.

If a snake attacks one person and not another, it is likely that one person abused it by handling it roughly. Reptiles remember specific individuals. I have no idea how, but I have empirical proof that they do. Some male reptiles are aggressive against women when they are adults.

Reptiles eventually know that you are bringing them food. They associate your presence with food. That can be a good or bad thing, depending on how large the lizard is..and how big you are.

My lizards never bit me because.....

They never saw me as a threat. And I was far far bigger than they were, so I didn't trigger the "Claude is small enough. Let's eat him" reflex.

I've been to lots of Reptile shows, and people (always women) would be holding an iguana...saying "He knows you love him. He trusts you".

But really, they just don't feel threatened, and the arm is warm. A reptile brain is far different from any mammal brain. Maybe there were a few more intelligent dinosaurs. But what we have today? Fight or Flight, hunger, feeling threatened, mating instinct....that's about what they have. Believe me, nobody wanted their iguana to be their friend more than me. But when they sit on my shoulder? I'm not its friend. I'm a warm tree branch.

And I'm absolutely convinced that dogs really love us, in the same way we love them. Believe it or not, I'm not going to look up the science. It's just something we know as humans.

But spiders? No idea, and no interest.

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HeySal

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Sal in bold. Me not in bold.

Got ya. Animals are smarter than people realize...all of them. Spiders rank 15 in intelligent life forms.

Instinct is pre-wired learning. Like knowing how to swallow, or how to breath. It's all brain stem stuff. But...I know nothing about spiders,

I'm not sure we can rule out emotion in reptiles just yet. Judging from the fact that they trust some people and not others, I'm thinking they have some sort of emotional base.

I used to be quite the Herpetologist when I was a young man. I raised and sold several different kinds of lizards.

They perceive you as a threat or they don't. And some species are less aggressive than others.

If a snake attacks one person and not another, it is likely that one person abused it by handling it roughly. Reptiles remember specific individuals. I have no idea how, but I have empirical proof that they do. Some male reptiles are aggressive against women when they are adults.

Reptiles eventually know that you are bringing them food. They associate your presence with food. That can be a good or bad thing, depending on how large the lizard is..and how big you are.

My lizards never bit me because.....

They never saw me as a threat. And I was far far bigger than they were, so I didn't trigger the "Claude is small enough. Let's eat him" reflex.

I've been to lots of Reptile shows, and people (always women) would be holding an iguana...saying "He knows you love him. He trusts you".

But really, they just don't feel threatened, and the arm is warm. A reptile brain is far different from any mammal brain. Maybe there were a few more intelligent dinosaurs. But what we have today? Fight or Flight, hunger, feeling threatened, mating instinct....that's about what they have. Believe me, nobody wanted their iguana to be their friend more than me. But when they sit on my shoulder? I'm not its friend. I'm a warm tree branch.

And I'm absolutely convinced that dogs really love us, in the same way we love them. Believe it or not, I'm not going to look up the science. It's just something we know as humans.

But spiders? No idea, and no interest.

Yeah, I've taken a lot of cognitive science, Claude. What I'm trying to say is emotions are basically programmed into the instinct system. Serious. It's not clear whether the connection is direct or via the "codette" system. Communication is also an instict and pre-coded emotional responses are triggered via communication - which all fauna species have to some extent or they couldn't survive.

Hmmm..........speaking......um

It's almost 2015 and some people still think that others in the OT forum are going to stay on topic in threads.

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Kurt

9 years ago

It's almost 2015 and some people still used bolded text instead of the forum's quote feature.

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lanfear63

9 years ago

Claude in plain text (in quotes). Me in plain text

"I used to be quite the Herpetologist when I was a young man."

When you have it, you tend to take an interest in it.

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Claude in plain text (in quotes). Me in plain text

"I used to be quite the Herpetologist when I was a young man."

When you have it, you tend to take an interest in it.

It's just another typo of his...he really meant herpestologist. He always forgets the "s". I think it may be intentional at this point. But this is why all of his iguanas also had cold sores.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

It's almost 2015 and some people still used bolded text instead of the forum's quote feature.

I know how to use the Quote feature.
I'm a Rebel. I follow my own path. I'm a trailblazer.

I'm a non-conformist. I'm my own man.

You can't tell me what to do.

Leave me alone, or I'm going to FAX you a nasty letter.

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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Leave me alone, or I'm going to FAX you a nasty letter.

What happened to your carrier pigeon. or shouldn't I ask?

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

What happened to your carrier pigeon. or shouldn't I ask?

It the same place the Gerbil is. A very safe place.

Originally Posted by Kurt

Just wanted to let you know your smoke signals still don't work too well on windy days. Now go fax yourself.

Well, we got tired of using your preferred method of sending messages. Morse Code sequences of "Pull my finger".

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

What happened to your carrier pigeon. or shouldn't I ask?

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It the same place the Gerbil is. A very safe place.

That gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase "stool pigeon"...

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TimothyW 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

That gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase "stool pigeon"...

Can we change geres, please?

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MikeAmbrosio

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

That gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase "stool pigeon"...

You did it again Kurt - funniest post in this thread!

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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

That gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase "stool pigeon"...

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

You did it again Kurt - funniest post in this thread!

Yup, best post on the thread.

And it's getting pretty annoying.
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- MikeAmbrosio 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Yup, best post on the thread.
  
  And it's getting pretty annoying.
  
  There there Claude. You have some funny posts too. They're just not as funny as Kurt's.
  
  But don't give up! Maybe yours will be as funny when you reach his age!
  
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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

You did it again Kurt - funniest post in this thread!

It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

think anything that has to do with er, butts is funny. Men especially.

Terra

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MikeAmbrosio 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

think anything that has to do with er, butts is funny. Men especially.

Terra

...and - what's your point?
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- MissTerraK 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio
  
  ...and - what's your point?
  
  Ahh,
  
  I'm a woman and didn't find that funny at all, clever, but not funny.
  
  Terra
  
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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

think anything that has to do with er, butts is funny. Men especially.

Terra

Terra; Butts are always funny. They are funny when they look great, they are funny when they are fat, they are funny when they make noises.

The reason butts are on your backside, is that if you could see your own butt, you'd just laugh all the time.

Butt's are always funny. That's why we laugh so hard at what Kurt posts...because he's such an arse.

TA DA!!!!!!!!

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MikeAmbrosio

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Butts are always funny. They are funny when they look great, they are funny when they are fat, they are funny when they make noises.

The reason butts are on your backside, is that if you could see your own butt, you'd just laugh all the time.

Butt's are always funny. That's why we laugh so hard at what Kurt posts...because he's such an arse.

TA DA!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, not bad not bad. Getting closer.

Now, if you can be as funny as Kurt in one sentence, THEN you're there!

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

Hmmm, not bad not bad. Getting closer.

Now, if you can be as funny as Kurt in one sentence, THEN you're there!

I know. Riffle and I have talked about the one sentence post that really packs a punch.
There are several here that have this skill. But I think Kurt may be the best at it.

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MikeAmbrosio

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I know. Riffle and I have talked about the one sentence post that really packs a punch.
There are several here that have this skill. But I think Kurt may be the best at it.

Among my family and friends, I am very quick witted and come up with very funny (well, funny to some...) one liners.

Doesn't work for me here. There's just no way to be "quick witted" when reading then responding via the written word.

Once I have to think about it, I really suck at it

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

Among my family and friends, I am very quick witted and come up with very funny (well, funny to some...) one liners.

Doesn't work for me here. There's just no way to be "quick witted" when reading then responding via the written word.

Once I have to think about it, I really suck at it

And I'm funnier when writing. I'm sure it has something to do with the way our brains are wired.

Riffle is the funniest when I wait to ask him a question, until his mouth is full of food.

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

And I'm funnier when writing. I'm sure it has something to do with the way our brains are wired.

Riffle is the funniest when I wait to ask him a question, until his mouth is full of food.

You mean you're even less funny when having a conversation?

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

Among my family and friends, I am very quick witted and come up with very funny (well, funny to some...) one liners.

Doesn't work for me here. There's just no way to be "quick witted" when reading then responding via the written word.

Once I have to think about it, I really suck at it

In real life, I try to be fast. My comedy hero is Johnny Carson, because he could do it all, including being quick. He had an interesting opinion of George Carlin. Carson didn't care for Carlin, because Johnny said every time he saw Carlin off-stage he was carrying a stack of books on comedy and Carlin wrote jokes using a formula.

I like Carlin, but Carson's words stuck with me. Every time I watched Carlin in an interview since I noticed he rarely smiled and never laughed. Carlin also couldn't ad lib a joke to save his life. I do have a bit of a problem with a comedian that never laughs...

On the other hand, Jack Benny was the complete opposite and laughed at every joke someone told. And Benny was Carson's idol.

What really seperates Carson from most of the others is Johnny could also play the "straight man" and set others up to be funny. His guests were the funniest on his show because he knew how to help them be funny. This is something Steven Colbert will need to really work on on his next show. He's funny himself, but he doesn't seem to be able to help others be funny. It's OK on the Colbert Report, but it won't work as well on Late Night were he should help his guests be funny and not always try to be the center of attention. I'll be interested to see if Colbert can pull this off.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

He's funny himself, but he doesn't seem to be able to help others be funny. It's OK on the Colbert Report, but it won't work as well on Late Night were he should help his guests be funny and not always try to be the center of attention. I'll be interested to see if Colbert can pull this off.

I think Colbert has great interviews on his show, because anything the guest says, he plays on it to make it funny. The problem is, that it's Colbert that is funny. He is just so much sharper than most of his guests.

And when he interviews politicians on "Better know a district", it's like he's playing with hamsters.

I hope it translates well to a talk show.

Colbert is a great Ad libber though. Possibly the best I've seen on TV.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Butts are always funny. They are funny when they look great, they are funny when they are fat, they are funny when they make noises.

The reason butts are on your backside, is that if you could see your own butt, you'd just laugh all the time.

Butt's are always funny. That's why we laugh so hard at what Kurt posts...because he's such an arse.

TA DA!!!!!!!!

I edited my post while you were posting, but regardless, your post is waaay funnier than Kurt's.

Terra

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lanfear63

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Butts are always funny. They are funny when they look great, they are funny when they are fat, they are funny when they make noises.

The reason butts are on your backside, is that if you could see your own butt, you'd just laugh all the time.

Butt's are always funny. That's why we laugh so hard at what Kurt posts...because he's such an arse.

TA DA!!!!!!!!

Classic example of a Claude short, absurd, monologue. Be it funny, silly, or serious, you are "The Explainer of Everything"

Being able to write a reply gives you more time to think about which is the best quip to make. You might cycle through several until you find the best one. I am quick to do one liners, make up jokes and quips and stories in real life, but being able to write it down and have a little more time to compose makes it better.

Kurt is funny consistently but sometimes I have to look up stuff he refers too on Wikipedia.

Frank Donovan is one of my favorites with his one liners, and I always think he would have a monotone voice so I read them that way which makes them funnier.

Mr Riffle is up there, with comeback one liners, he is the master.

Whateverpedia scores a lot of hits with me. and I look at his smiling Mad Guy avatar when reading it which makes it hilarious.

Big Frank is a rude, blunt but very funny guy,

There are many here as well who do not strive to be funny a lot of the time, but when they do, they can be hilarious.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Classic example of a Claude short, absurd, monologue. Be it funny, silly, or serious, you are "The Explainer of Everything"

Being able to write a reply gives you more time to think about which is the best quip to make. You might cycle through several until you find the best one. I am quick to do one liners, make up jokes and quips and stories in real life, but being able to write it down and have a little more time to compose makes it better.

Kurt is funny consistently but sometimes I have to look up stuff he refers too on Wikipedia.

Frank Donovan is one of my favorites with his one liners, and I always think he would have a monotone voice so I read them that way which makes them funnier.

Mr Riffle is up there, with comeback one liners, he is the master.

Whateverpedia scores a lot of hits with me. and I look at his smiling Mad Guy avatar when reading it which makes it hilarious.

Big Frank is a rude, blunt but very funny guy,

There are many here as well who do not strive to be funny a lot of the time, but when they do, they can be hilarious.

My Friend; I have a very strong suspicion that Riffle, Frank, Whateverpedia, Richard Van, and Kurt...think up their lines almost instantly. The response times are just too quick for there to be much thought. And to think that quickly, and give a single sentence with the set up and punchline..is a real gift.

But you tell great stories. I edited some of this out of an earlier post, because it wasn't a great fit for the reply. But I really enjoy reading your stories. They are the most fun I have here.

I love the one liners. They give me the biggest laughs. But your stories are the most fun to read.

I have some good one liners. And they usually just pop up in a few seconds..or never. But some of the things written by these guys...makes me grit my teeth, because it was such an obvious thing to say, and I never saw it.

And I think Kurt is the the best at this here. Maybe Riffle as a close second. Kurt is better at plays on words. But Riffle's humor is nearly perfectly matched to my own. I can predict which line I post, he'll thank me for...and I know what he thinks is funny.

I'm guessing that they each, when in a social gathering....have these lines running through their mind, as responses to what's being said....and they have to keep quite, or wreck the party.

In my wife's family, I was extremely lucky, that my Brother-In Law is also funny. And 95% of all the talking, amongst maybe 20 adults...is him and me, topping each other....or him telling a joke that only I get. and then I look like an idiot, being the only one laughing out loud. Of course, that just makes it funnier..for both of us.

At my industry conventions there is a guy that is a good friend of mine. He's quiet, unassuming...a real gentleman. He acts as my straight man, when I'm on a panel, or we are in a small gathering. He almost never laughs. But he just quietly feeds me lines, completely ad libbed...that make me pee my pants. People see us, and think I'm the funny one. But he's far brighter than I am, and much funnier.

And the funny guys here? In my opinion, sharp humor is the most advanced thinking. It's the most complex thing the brain can do. I also notice, that some of the most well thought out serious posts come from these guys.

Yes, Sucking up is an art form.
I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving. You, but not Riffle or Kurt. Especially not Kurt.

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lanfear63

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

My Friend; I have a very strong suspicion that Riffle, Frank, Whateverpedia, Richard Van, and Kurt...think up their lines almost instantly. The response times are just too quick for there to be much thought. And to think that quickly, and give a single sentence with the set up and punchline..is a real gift.

But you tell great stories. I edited some of this out of an earlier post, because it wasn't a great fit for the reply. But I really enjoy reading your stories. They are the most fun I have here.

I love the one liners. They give me the biggest laughs. But your stories are the most fun to read.

I have some good one liners. And they usually just pop up in a few seconds..or never. But some of the things written by these guys...makes me grit my teeth, because it was such an obvious thing to say, and I never saw it.

And I think Kurt is the the best at this here. Maybe Riffle as a close second. Kurt is better at plays on words. But Riffle's humor is nearly perfectly matched to my own. I can predict which line I post, he'll thank me for...and I know what he thinks is funny.

I'm guessing that they each, when in a social gathering....have these lines running through their mind, as responses to what's being said....and they have to keep quite, or wreck the party.

In my wife's family, I was extremely lucky, that my Brother-In Law is also funny. And 95% of all the talking, amongst maybe 20 adults...is him and me, topping each other....or him telling a joke that only I get. and then I look like an idiot, being the only one laughing out loud. Of course, that just makes it funnier..for both of us.

At my industry conventions there is a guy that is a good friend of mine. He's quiet, unassuming...a real gentleman. He acts as my straight man, when I'm on a panel, or we are in a small gathering. He almost never laughs. But he just quietly feeds me lines, completely ad libbed...that make me pee my pants. People see us, and think I'm the funny one. But he's far brighter than I am, and much funnier.

And the funny guys here? In my opinion, sharp humor is the most advanced thinking. It's the most complex thing the brain can do. I also notice, that some of the most well thought out serious posts come from these guys.

Yes, Sucking up is an art form.
I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving. You, but not Riffle or Kurt. Especially not Kurt.

I think that you and Riffle working together, especially the insults, are a tour de force. I know that you said you have met in real life and it makes me think, do they just sit across the table from each other in the restaurant and text?.

How did it translate to talking?

Your right about keeping it buttoned in public. I have to stop myself, otherwise I could get in trouble for the most outrageous quips.

The other day someone dropped a bottle of wine at the checkout and I said loudly 'Butterhook' My wife was embarrassed and scolded me but no one else understood it properly (it was referring to Roger Moore talking to Jaws in a Bond movie when he lost his grip)

At a store I worked at in the UK we were having our morning briefing and our female boss criticized me (surprisingly) for wearing my tie long and having it tucked into the front of my pants (no one else did)
I just said "It keeps me warm during the winter" Some guffaws from the staff but the store manager and her subs were having trouble keeping themselves composed. She told me that later that it was one of the funniest things she had ever heard

I hated her when she first started, but grew to respect her organizational and motivational skills, we became the store of the year. (out of a huge chain) She said if we won she would close for the day (or get others to run it) and take us all on a day trip to France. We did, and she did, had to sell her car to pay for it. Amazing. She actually had the same voice as the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of OZ. I'm not exaggerating.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and all others who read this, I have no idea what its about except it's like Xmas in the UK, we stuff ourselves with Turkey which we would not dream of eating the rest of the year.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Just so you know, guys, I love reading you all.

I love to laugh and all of the guys mentioned above crack me up at times! I've learned to swallow whatever is in my mouth before I read them. See, I'm no dummy.

But you Claude, are the one whose posts I read first when I first log on. I know I'll always get a laugh. Riffle however, I never know what I'm going to get. Sometimes a laugh, sometimes a roll eyes and sometimes sheer

!

Biz and Gary have cracked me up too and believe it or not, Paul Myers has made me laugh as well. He's pretty funny when he wants to be.

Keep up the good work, I love it!

Terra

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Dan Riffle 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

I've learned to swallow whatever is in my mouth before I read them.

Some jokes just write themselves.
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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

I've learned to swallow whatever is in my mouth before I read them.

Must...
resist...
temptation...
to...
respond...
to...
this....

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Must...
resist...
temptation...
to...
respond...
to...
this....

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I had a really good response...but I know that I would have been banned. The fact that Terra isn't aware of these double meanings, is what makes the whole thing funny.

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Must...
resist...
temptation...
to...
respond...
to...
this....

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I had a really good response...but I know that I would have been banned. The fact that Terra isn't aware of these double meanings, is what makes the whole thing funny.

I had to rewrite my response four times before I was sure I wasn't too blue. I had to put my head back together with duct tape.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

I think that you and Riffle working together, especially the insults, are a tour de force. I know that you said you have met in real life and it makes me think, do they just sit across the table from each other in the restaurant and text?.

How did it translate to talking?

Riffle is more serious in person. I'm assuming he's always like that. I joke with customers, but I'm more serious when I'm talking to someone who's opinions I respect.
In my experience, the funniest people are also the deeper thinkers.

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

But you Claude, are the one whose posts I read first when I first log on. I know I'll always get a laugh.

That's very kind of you.

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MissTerraK 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

That's very kind of you.

Thanks, but I wasn't trying to be kind, I was just being honest.

Terra
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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I know how to use the Quote feature.
I'm a Rebel. I follow my own path. I'm a trailblazer.

I'm a non-conformist. I'm my own man.

You can't tell me what to do.

Leave me alone, or I'm going to FAX you a nasty letter.

Just wanted to let you know your smoke signals still don't work too well on windy days. Now go fax yourself.

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travlinguy

9 years ago

It's almost 2015 and some people still think reptile dysfunction is about handicapped lizards.

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TimothyW 9 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

It's almost 2015 and some people still think reptile dysfunction is about handicapped lizards.

"If you experience a gecko that lasts more than 4 hours..."
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- Kurt 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by TimothyW
  
  "If you experience a gecko that lasts more than 4 hours..."
  
  ...don't call Claude.
  
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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

It's almost 2015 and some people still think reptile dysfunction is about handicapped lizards.

This really happened.

About 20 years ago, I had 4 baby iguanas. They are incredibly stupid creatures. They will jump on a heat lamp, and just lay there until they fry. An adult iguana may lay 500 eggs in it's lifetime. And the population doesn't grow. Not brilliant creatures.

Anyway, one of the iguanas poked it's head into the water dish, and inhaled the water. It spent the next several seconds gasping for air, so I held it in my hand, upside down, and let the water run out of it's lungs.

As I was doing this, my wife said "What are you doing?'

And I said "I'm draining my lizard."
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NeedBucksNow

9 years ago

Good post. I would have to say most people don't realize that life is too short to worry about anything. We should all just be glad that we are still around in this crazy world.

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It's almost 2015, and lots of people still...

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