I have been unable to come to this place in a while... Why???

9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I forgot me pass and the pass retrieval procedure was too convoluted for someone with my level of patience.
Finally I managed after thinking and contemplating and thinking how much I missed all you pathetic excuses for humanity.

Welcome back.. our king..

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I forgot me pass and the pass retrieval procedure was too convoluted for someone with my level of patience.
Finally I managed after thinking and contemplating and thinking how much I missed all you pathetic excuses for humanity.

He remembers me...Me!

I'm his favorite!

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

He remembers me...Me!

I'm his favorite!

You may be his favorite most pathetic excuse for humanity, but I'm the one he missed most!

Terra

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lanfear63 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

You may be his favorite most pathetic excuse for humanity, but I'm the one he missed most!

Terra

Quite brilliant. Better than Kurt and I understand it.
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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

You may be his favorite most pathetic excuse for humanity, but I'm the one he missed most!

Terra

Terra...my love...my princess...Terra.....

You just called me his most pathetic excuse for humanity.

Do you have any idea what that has done to my self image? I'm so depressed now, that I can't even look at myself in the mirror for 12 hours a day anymore......

I am shattered..crushed....

Heck, even Kurt is thinking "Wow, she's way too mean to Claude".

And Riffle is thinking, "....most pathetic excuse for humanity? I have to write that down for later".......

And Professor Carpet is thinking (I use the term loosely), "Man, now I can't remember what Humanity means. I'm sure it has something to do with pumping iron".

Terra; Have you ever cried, while you were throwing up Thanksgiving dinner? Well, you just made a handsome, sensuous, brilliant, humble man do just that.

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Quite brilliant. Better than Kurt and I understand it.

Traitor! Revenge will be mine.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra...my love...my princess...Terra.....

You just called me his most pathetic excuse for humanity.

Do you have any idea what that has done to my self image? I'm so depressed now, that I can't even look at myself in the mirror for 12 hours a day anymore......

I am shattered..crushed....

Heck, even Kurt is thinking "Wow, she's way too mean to Claude".

And Riffle is thinking, "....most pathetic excuse for humanity? I have to write that down for later".......

And Professor Carpet is thinking (I use the term loosely), "Man, now I can't remember what Humanity means. I'm sure it has something to do with pumping iron".

Terra; Have you ever cried, while you were throwing up Thanksgiving dinner? Well, you just made a handsome, sensuous, brilliant, humble man do just that.

Huh?

Oh no! How can I ever live with myself now, knowing that I have hurt one of my favorite OT pals????

Wait a cotton-pickin-minute!

I only repeated what you said first and just added that you may be his favorite, but he missed me most.

And yes, I actually have cried as I threw up my Thanksgiving Dinner. It was quite a few years ago and I was with child.

We had been to Great Aunt Kay's for dinner and when we returned home, we found my kitty had gaffed a hairball and such on the kitchen floor. Hubby told me since it was my cat, I had to clean it up.

I started to cry, because just seeing it on the floor got my tummy to churning. I pleaded with him not to make me clean it up or else I would be sick and lose my whole Thanksgiving dinner and that would be horrible because I only got to eat her awesome cooking once a year and if I got sick, not only would I lose the nutrients I needed from that meal, but our unborn child would not get them either.

He rolled his eyes at me, told me I was way past the morning sickness phase as he ran a rag under warm water, then handed it to me. I took the rag, turned around, looked at the gaff again and quite promptly threw up, not just once, but three times.

He then had two messes to clean up and had to hear me tell him how horrible he was for robbing his wife and unborn child of their Thanksgiving dinner. And from that day forward, I've never had to clean up any hairballs or gaff, it was his job permanently! He he!

PS ~ You forgot to call me an angel in your post.

Terra

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WalkingCarpet

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Huh?

Oh no! How can I ever live with myself now, knowing that I have hurt one of my favorite OT pals????

Wait a cotton-pickin-minute!

I only repeated what you said first and just added that you may be his favorite, but he missed me most.

And yes, I actually have cried as I threw up my Thanksgiving Dinner. It was quite a few years ago and I was with child.

We had been to Great Aunt Kay's for dinner and when we returned home, we found my kitty had gaffed a hairball and such on the kitchen floor. Hubby told me since it was my cat, I had to clean it up.

I started to cry, because just seeing it on the floor got my tummy to churning. I pleaded with him not to make me clean it up or else I would be sick and lose my whole Thanksgiving dinner and that would be horrible because I only got to eat her awesome cooking once a year and if I got sick, not only would I lose the nutrients I needed from that meal, but our unborn child would not get them either.

He rolled his eyes at me, told I was way past the morning sickness phase as he ran a rag under warm water, then handed it to me. I took the rag, turned around, looked at the gaff again and quite promptly threw up, not just once, but three times.

He then had two messes to clean up and had to hear me tell him how horrible he was for robbing his wife and unborn child of their Thanksgiving dinner. And from that day forward, I've never had to clean up any hairballs or gaff, it was his job permanently! He he!

PS ~ You forgot to call me an angel in your post.

Terra

Drop Weird Al for a baldie and no more hairball worries

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Huh?

Oh no! How can I ever live with myself now, knowing that I have hurt one of my favorite OT pals????

Wait a cotton-pickin-minute!

I only repeated what you said first and just added that you may be his favorite, but he missed me most.

I know. That's what made it funny. But the fact that you completely got the joke...made it less funny. It's funnier when you tease someone, and they aren't in on the joke.

I wonder how I can tease The Professor?

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I know. That's what made it funny. But the fact that you completely got the joke...made it less funny. It's funnier when you tease someone, and they aren't in on the joke.

I wonder how I can tease The Professor?

Have Ginger and Mary Ann tease him about his little "coconuts"...

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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Have Ginger and Mary Ann tease him about his little "coconuts"...

Professor Carpet has little coconuts and a big willy?

Still, that might be better than big coconuts and a ....

Sweet little willie - YouTube

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Professor Carpet has little coconuts and a big willy?

Still, that might be better than big coconuts and a ....

Sweet little willie - YouTube

All I know is, after skinny dipping with the Skipper, Claude was the inspiration for the name "Minnow" for the boat....and it's ironic that Claude and the Skipper swimming naked with each other is called "skinny" dipping.

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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Claude and the Skipper swimming naked with each other

Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I thought Claude swimming naked was the inspiration for Moby Dick.

A great white whale that is. (I had to clarify that in case Professor Carpet gets jealous over the second part of the name).

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lanfear63

9 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I thought Claude swimming naked was the inspiration for Moby Dick.

A great white whale that is. (I had to clarify that in case Professor Carpet gets jealous over the second part of the name).

Surely that would be a sperm whale

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

All I know is, after skinny dipping with the Skipper, Claude was the inspiration for the name "Minnow" for the boat....and it's ironic that Claude and the Skipper swimming naked with each other is called "skinny" dipping.

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I thought Claude swimming naked was the inspiration for Moby Dick.

A great white whale that is. (I had to clarify that in case Professor Carpet gets jealous over the second part of the name).

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Surely that would be a sperm whale

This is all BS. First, Kurt gets to have his way with me, in a well thought out play...but he says I'm fat.

Then, Whateverpedia calls me a whale. And I'm thinking "Sure, I'm a fatty...but maybe they will give me the ultimate compliment...and call me a sperm whale. That way, I can still keep a shred of dignity"

But no. Ianfear has to give that honor away to the first pretty face that comes along...Professor Carpet.

I swear...my headstone is going to say;

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

By the way, I'm leaving an opening here that will take a good mind to detect. A very "Riffle or Kurt" like opening. The rest of you guys still have enough class, and a soul...and that may prevent you from seeing it.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

This is all BS. First, Kurt gets to have his way with me, in a well thought out play...but he says I'm fat.

Then, Whateverpedia calls me a whale. And I'm thinking "Sure, I'm a fatty...but maybe they will give me the ultimate compliment...and call me a sperm whale. That way, I can still keep a shred of dignity"

But no. Ianfear has to give that honor away to the first pretty face that comes along...Professor Carpet.

I swear...my headstone is going to say;

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

By the way, I'm leaving an opening here that will take a good mind to detect. A very "Riffle or Kurt" like opening. The rest of you guys still have enough class, and a soul...and that may prevent you from seeing it.

The only flaw I can see in your well thought out set up is that you called Professor Carpet a pretty face. But if you truly believe those words you've just spoken, then this is the wrong thread for that, you should have posted that in the Pretty Warrior thread.

Terra

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positivenegative 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

But no. Ianfear has to give that honor away to the first pretty face that comes along...Professor Carpet.

Professor Shagpile, pretty? Surely you jest. Mind you I hear his carpet advertisements boast, "Get Laid Professionally, or just Gripped and Felt".

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I swear...my headstone is going to say;

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

Claude, your headstone is going to cover some acreage, considering the size of the plot it will refer to. I'm thinking more, 10,000 word article, rather than merely "He Was A Whale". Maybe someone on WF could accommodate you on a special offer if you book early.
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TimPhelan 9 years ago

"Claude Whitacre...
He Wasn't A Sperm Whale..
But He Had A Huge Blow Hole
"

"Claude Whitacre...
He Wasn't A Sperm Whale..
But He Breast Fed Dolphins
"

"Claude Whitacre...
Was Known in His Later Years
as Professor Sperm
"
"Claude Whitacre...
Organ Donor. Donated Enough
Blubber to Make 10,000 Bars of Soap.
"
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lanfear63

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

This is all BS. First, Kurt gets to have his way with me, in a well thought out play...but he says I'm fat.

Then, Whateverpedia calls me a whale. And I'm thinking "Sure, I'm a fatty...but maybe they will give me the ultimate compliment...and call me a sperm whale. That way, I can still keep a shred of dignity"

But no. Ianfear has to give that honor away to the first pretty face that comes along...Professor Carpet.

I swear...my headstone is going to say;

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

By the way, I'm leaving an opening here that will take a good mind to detect. A very "Riffle or Kurt" like opening. The rest of you guys still have enough class, and a soul...and that may prevent you from seeing it.

Actually, I merely associated Sperm Whale with Mobey DICK! There was neither a compliment or insult implied..... Captain Rehab.

So, you lied about making those adult, fish, mating films because your obviously not a Blue Whale.

Not the Kurt or Riffle opening I suspect either. I'm just not that good.

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

By the way, I'm leaving an opening here that will take a good mind to detect. A very "Riffle or Kurt" like opening. The rest of you guys still have enough class, and a soul...and that may prevent you from seeing it.

This is a trick question. If it was truly Riffle-like or Kurt-like, by definition you would never have thought of it.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

This is a trick question. If it was truly Riffle-like or Kurt-like, by definition you would never have thought of it.

Damn you......

Funnier than what I was thinking. I hate you.

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

I was thinking that you or Riffle (It's more like Riffle) would put today's date on the headstone.

I think I'll go over to the Time Travel thread, so I can feel mentally superior again.

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Damn you......

Funnier than what I was thinking. I hate you.

"Claude Whitacre...
He Was A Whale..
but not a sperm whale"

I was thinking that you or Riffle (It's more like Riffle) would put today's date on the headstone.

I think I'll go over to the Time Travel thread, so I can feel mentally superior again.

Good idea. Hopefully someone in the Time Travel thread can come up with a way to go back in time so the date of the day before I met you online will appear on your headstone...

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

By the way, I'm leaving an opening here that will take a good mind to detect. A very "Riffle or Kurt" like opening. The rest of you guys still have enough class, and a soul...and that may prevent you from seeing it.

Claude, for the last time, nobody is interested in any of your openings.

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WalkingCarpet Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Claude, for the last time, nobody is interested in any of your openings.

I like his shiny dome tho
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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Have Ginger and Mary Ann tease him about his little "coconuts"...

Never ...saw..that...coming.
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HeySal

9 years ago

Hey Tarzan - not surprised to see ya swing back in here.

We're just kinda addictive that way, ya know?

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When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
Beyond the Path

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tagiscom

9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I forgot me pass and the pass retrieval procedure was too convoluted for someone with my level of patience.
Finally I managed after thinking and contemplating and thinking how much I missed all you pathetic excuses for humanity.

Hmmm, l am dying to say something, but l'd better not!

I will only say no man is an island, even though most here would like to believe they are!

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Joe Mobley 9 years ago

.
LastPass

Joe Mobley
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- TimPhelan 9 years ago
  
  Mahesh, tattoo your passwords on your forearm like I do. Women love it!
  
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whateverpedia

9 years ago

Time to play Spot The Deliberate Mistake:

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I forgot me pass and the pass retrieval procedure was too convoluted for someone with my level of patience.
Finally I managed after thinking and contemplating and thinking how much I missed all you pathetic excuses for humanity.

Can you find it?

1st Prize - a date with Professor Carpet.

I know all the ladies (and Claude) would love to get their hands on his prize, .... erm sorry, I meant the prize.

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Jack Gordon

9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

I forgot me pass and the pass retrieval procedure was too convoluted for someone with my level of patience.
Finally I managed after thinking and contemplating and thinking how much I missed all you pathetic excuses for humanity.

I hear you calling yourself shallow, but without the musclehead avatar, I just don't feel it.

It is hard to take you seriously anymore.

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sbucciarel

Banned 9 years ago

I have been unable to come to this place in a while

We were beside ourselves and didn't know how to proceed from here. Several committed suicide. We refer to it as the "Day the Warrior Forum Died" and there's even been a song written about it.

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whateverpedia 9 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

Several committed suicide.

I did - four times every day until the Professor came back.
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- HeySal 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  I did - four times every day until the Professor came back.
  
  Wow - doesn't that only leave you about 10 more personalities to go? You better learn to chill, guy.
  
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  When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
  Beyond the Path
  
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  whateverpedia 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HeySal
  
  Wow - doesn't that only leave you about 10 more personalities to go? You better learn to chill, guy.
  
  Nah. I never had any personalities to begin with.
  
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  tagiscom 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Jack Gordon
  
  I hear you calling yourself shallow, but without the musclehead avatar, I just don't feel it.
  
  It is hard to take you seriously anymore.
  
  Yes, we know that you are a professor, but of what, is currently still a mystery.
  
  I suspect that l will know soon enough!!!
  
  As well as everyone else!
  
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WalkingCarpet Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

We were beside ourselves
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I have been unable to come to this place in a while... Why???

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