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Dear Claude,
Greetings.
I'm flabbergasted. With your extensive knowledge of marketing,combined with your enormous head, I'm thinking that you might be an alien.
I've been watching you,and you also produce something my people call the "walking farts".
This is intriguing.
Also,all of the women on my planet are named Cheryl.
Is this just a coincidence?
Signing off,
Bored in Thailand
Foshizzle.
  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    My God. Steve!

    It's my Son, Steve. Everyone? Steve. Steve? Everyone.
    You won't be bored long. The Zombie Apocalypse should reach Thailand in the morning.
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    • Profile picture of the author nickto21
      Wow,that was fast. Knowing exactly when an internet post is about himself = alien.
      Btw, who is Steve?
      Foshizzle
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    • Profile picture of the author nickto21
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      My God. Steve!
      Cool,you can worship me. The church of Foshizzle. Awesome!
      Foshizzle
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Originally Posted by nickto21 View Post

    Dear Claude,
    Greetings.
    I'm flabbergasted. With your extensive knowledge of marketing,combined with your enormous head, I'm thinking that you might be an alien.
    I've been watching you,and you also produce something my people call the "walking farts".
    This is intriguing.
    Also,all of the women on my planet are named Cheryl.
    Is this just a coincidence?
    Signing off,
    Bored in Thailand
    Foshizzle.
    It's quality posts like this that makes Kurt just want to sometimes, give up.
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    • Profile picture of the author nickto21
      Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

      It's quality posts like this that makes Kurt just want to sometimes, give up.
      My my, an interesting person. Please tell me more.
      Foshizzle.
      Btw, does "off topic" ring any bells?��
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by nickto21 View Post

        My my, an interesting person. Please tell me more.
        Foshizzle.
        Btw, does "off topic" ring any bells?��
        We were onto you being an alien very early on, your username gave it away, we even know your native language. So I shall just say: Klaatu Barada Nikto21
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        • Profile picture of the author discrat
          Claude been meaning to ask you.

          Is it Whit- acre (piece of land) or
          is it Whittaker like Forest Whitaker or Johnny Whittaker of the 1973 Tom Sawyer fame


          P.S. Not so sure if Claude's head is that big. Just looks like a small photo
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by discrat View Post

            P.S. Not so sure if Claude's head is that bad. Just looks like a small photo
            That picture was taken from 30 yards out, no zoom.
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          • Profile picture of the author nickto21
            Originally Posted by discrat View Post

            Claude been meaning to ask you.

            Is it Whit- acre (piece of land) or
            is it Whittaker like Forest Whitaker or Johnny Whittaker of the 1973 Tom Sawyer fame


            P.S. Not so sure if Claude's head is that bad. Just looks like a small photo
            Like Forest Whittaker. You didn't ask me, but it's my last name too,so..
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by discrat View Post

            Claude been meaning to ask you.

            Is it Whit- acre (piece of land) or
            is it Whittaker like Forest Whitaker or Johnny Whittaker of the 1973 Tom Sawyer fame


            P.S. Not so sure if Claude's head is that big. Just looks like a small photo
            It's Whitacre, as in White-acre. My ancestors were Welsh wheat farmers. At least, that's what a cousin told me.
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            • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              It's Whitacre, as in White-acre. My ancestors were Welsh wheat farmers. At least, that's what a cousin told me.
              Gozer Worshippers, l bet?


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            • Profile picture of the author nickto21
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              It's Whitacre, as in White-acre. My ancestors were Welsh wheat farmers. At least, that's what a cousin told me.
              No,it's pronounced like Forest Whitacre. Did you have a stroke or something,Claude?

              Steve
              Next thing you'll be saying is that Claude is pronounced "cloud".
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              • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                Originally Posted by nickto21 View Post

                No,it's pronounced like Forest Whitacre. Did you have a stroke or something,Claude?

                Steve
                Next thing you'll be saying is that Claude is pronounced "cloud".
                I thought he was referring to how it was spelled, not pronounced (Even though it's spelled out here). I must have been tired when I read the post.

                And it feels weird when you call me Claude. I'm your Dad.

                You're right, it sounds like Forrest Whitaker.

                For some reason, telemarketers almost always butcher it into Cloud Whiteaker.
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            • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              It's Whitacre, as in White-acre. My ancestors were Welsh wheat farmers. At least, that's what a cousin told me.
              Highly unlikely as your name is Anglo-Saxon and wheat doesn't come from Wales.

              Angles and Saxon tribes were in Eastern and Southern England (England = Angle Land) which is flat and dry making it ideal for crops like wheat.

              Wales is hilly, mountainous and rainy making it good for sheep hence the Welsh being called Sheepshaggers.

              Dan

              PS: And you would pronounce it Witukker as in one word not white acre as in two but who knows your pronounciation from writing?
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

                Highly unlikely as your name is Anglo-Saxon and wheat doesn't come from Wales.

                Angles and Saxon tribes were in Eastern and Southern England (England = Angle Land) which is flat and dry making it ideal for crops like wheat.

                Wales is hilly, mountainous and rainy making it good for sheep hence the Welsh being called Sheepshaggers.

                Dan

                PS: And you would pronounce it Witukker as in one word not white acre as in two but who knows your pronounciation from writing?
                "hence the Welsh being called Sheepshaggers." Need I say more.."Oh look you boyo, said Claude"
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              • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

                Highly unlikely as your name is Anglo-Saxon and wheat doesn't come from Wales.

                Angles and Saxon tribes were in Eastern and Southern England (England = Angle Land) which is flat and dry making it ideal for crops like wheat.

                Wales is hilly, mountainous and rainy making it good for sheep hence the Welsh being called Sheepshaggers.

                Dan

                PS: And you would pronounce it Witukker as in one word not white acre as in two but who knows your pronounciation from writing?
                That's another of Claude's convenient typos. When he says he's from "Wales", he really means he's from "Whales", which explains his blubbery girth much better.
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                • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
                  Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                  That's another of Claude's convenient typos. When he says he's from "Wales", he really means he's from "Whales", which explains his blubbery girth much better.
                  Well I don't know about the latter but funnily enough the solution is another Whittakker. Robert Whittaker used to make my shirts for me when I was in the Army.

                  Here he is.

                  Bespoke Shirt Making - Dege & Skinner

                  Dan
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                  That's another of Claude's convenient typos. When he says he's from "Wales", he really means he's from "Whales", which explains his blubbery girth much better.
                  Interesting hypothesis there Kurt. He's not a Sperm Whale though he does spout a lot.

                  I think he must be a Blue Whale, the evidence is clear from the description: "Blue Whale - Sulphur Bottom Whale - Sibbald's Rorqual Balaenoptera musculus"

                  Sulphur Bottom and Sib-bald are definite clues. He also sells Shark Vacuum cleaners.

                  The skin color though is a problem, the theory is that he's a cross with a Great White.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                    Interesting hypothesis there Kurt. He's not a Sperm Whale though he does spout a lot.

                    I think he must be a Blue Whale, the evidence is clear from the description: "Blue Whale - Sulphur Bottom Whale - Sibbald's Rorqual Balaenoptera musculus"

                    Sulphur Bottom and Sib-bald are definite clues. He also sells Shark Vacuum cleaners.

                    The skin color though is a problem, the theory is that he's a cross with a Great White.
                    My guess is he's a hump back whale, with "hump" being a verb.
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                    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                      My guess is he's a hump back whale, with "hump" being a verb.
                      He has a lot of fun with his inflatable doll called Esmeralda. When in action, he goes by the name of Quasiclaude.

                      I used to work with guy called Mick Lotherington. He told me his surname was originally taken from a euro name: Lotringham. When I saw his tupperware container with his sandwiches inside that day, I said: "So thats the lunch pack of Lotringham"

                      Well he laughed
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                      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                        Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                        He has a lot of fun with his inflatable doll called Esmeralda. When in action, he goes by the name of Quasiclaude.

                        I used to work with guy called Mick Lotherington. He told me his surname was originally taken from a euro name: Lotringham. When I saw his tupperware container with his sandwiches inside that day, I said: "So thats the lunch pack of Lotringham"

                        Well he laughed
                        Were you his Boss?
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              • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

                Highly unlikely as your name is Anglo-Saxon and wheat doesn't come from Wales.

                Angles and Saxon tribes were in Eastern and Southern England (England = Angle Land) which is flat and dry making it ideal for crops like wheat.

                Wales is hilly, mountainous and rainy making it good for sheep hence the Welsh being called Sheepshaggers.

                Dan

                PS: And you would pronounce it Witukker as in one word not white acre as in two but who knows your pronounciation from writing?
                Dan; First, I appreciate the help, I really do.

                A cousin recently told me we were wheat farmers from Wales. I know nothing about my family history past my grandparents. I'm going to assume you are right.

                Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                My guess is he's a hump back whale, with "hump" being a verb.
                I wish.
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        • Profile picture of the author nickto21
          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

          We were onto you being an alien very early on, your username gave it away, we even know your native language. So I shall just say: Klaatu Barada Nikto21
          Yup, that's where it came from.
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  • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
    Banned
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