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Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

by Joe Mobley
7 replies
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Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.


Joe Mobley
  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Very good

    The truest words spoken on the forum since Franks last post. :-)
    Signature

    Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

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    • Profile picture of the author nbsdemo
      And if wishes were horses beggars would ride.
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

    Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.


    Joe Mobley
    Damn, l was waiting for the link to the Crackpot Doctor, trying to make a name for himself?

    Preferably on a Banner farm site, that brings up a full page pop-up add, with some product you don't care about and a stealth delete cross?


    Apparently "life is like a box of chocolates", except those horrible hard, toffee ones!


    Signature
    Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
    Bill Maher

    Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.
    David Gerrold

    Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
    Susan Ertz

    When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
    Steven Wright
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

    Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.


    Joe Mobley
    Now, I understand Joe.
    Signature

    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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