How Would You Convince Someone Not To Commit Suicide?

9 years ago

Wow, Mark. I bet you're fun at parties.

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lanfear63 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Wow, Mark. I bet you're fun at parties.

Life and soul until someone asks, what do you do for a living? Accounts Payable Check Processor Specialist is a real conversation killer.
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- Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  Life and soul until someone asks, what do you do for a living? Accounts Payable Check Processor Specialist is a real conversation killer.
  
  Now I know why you are thinking of suicide.
  
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  Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Now I know why you are thinking of suicide.
  
  God forbid the day his University signs up for online bill pay.
  
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  lanfear63 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Now I know why you are thinking of suicide.
  
  You better believe it. So stressful. I just posted this thread in case someone came up with a valid reason to why I should go on. And then you commented and reminded me that my whole reason for living was creative insulting. My savior.
  
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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Idea from another thread.

Your on the spot, on a hotline, someone phones up. This person is of reasonable intelligence, neither rich nor poor, not clinically depressed, has an average amount of friends, had reasonable success in relationships. would never dream of taking pills or seeing a psychiatrist. They just reached an intellectual decision that their life was futile as it was and they were seriously considering ending it. They just decided to phone your hotline and got YOU!

It's just you and the person.

How would you go about dealing with them, what would you say, what would you draw from your life experiences to get them interested and motivated again etc..

They would never get me. I wouldn't have a phone line and I wouldn't be "on call" duty either.

Let me explain why...

If someone is threatening to kill their own self, they certainly wouldn't have a problem killing me either, especially since they're not thinking clearly, obviously and hold no sanctity for life!

Can ya hear me?

Terra

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lanfear63

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

They would never get me. I wouldn't have a phone line and I wouldn't be "on call" duty either.

Let me explain why...

If someone is threatening to kill their own self, they certainly wouldn't have a problem killing me either, especially since they're not thinking clearly, obviously and hold no sanctity for life!

Can ya hear me?

Terra

I would say that your not a prime candidate to Volunteer for this line of work then. Lexi already runs "Dog Watch", or was it Watchdog

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Cali16

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

If someone is threatening to kill their own self, they certainly wouldn't have a problem killing me either, especially since they're not thinking clearly, obviously and hold no sanctity for life!

Terra, I just have a moment right now or I could write pages, but I very strongly and respectfully disagree with the assumptions you're making about someone who is suicidal (as I've dealt with hundreds of suicidal individuals). The only suicidal individuals I can recall who may have inadvertently thought taking another life was okay were those who had a plan that would put others' lives in danger (e.g. jumping in front of a bus or off a freeway overpass into traffic), but those were the rare exceptions by and far. I would say 99% of those I evaluated or treated had no intention of causing harm to anyone else, nor did they believe it was okay to do so.

There is a HUGE difference between believing it's okay (a personal right) to take one's own life - which, btw, doesn't automatically mean the person isn't thinking clearly - and someone who has "no respect for life in general" and believes it's okay to take another person's life. Not everyone considers suicide a form of "murder" (can't say more without going into religious territory here...)

Considering taking one's life, contrary to popular belief, isn't always an irrational decision. There are many situations in which a person can come to the conclusion that death is preferable to life - and understandably so.

One reason, for me at least, would be living as a quadriplegic. I can tell you that I would absolutely prefer to die than live imprisoned in a non-functional body over which I have zero control, and which would make me completely dependent upon, and a lifelong burden to, others. Does that really sound irrational? (That's just one example.)

This is a hot, controversial topic, so for now, I'll leave my response at that.

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Kay King

9 years ago

They just reached an intellectual decision that their life was futile as it was and they were seriously considering ending it. They just decided to phone your hotline and got YOU!

Someone who has reached an intellectual decision isn't going to call a hot line. If they do, I wouldn't be answering it.

The only smart thing to do with a potential suicide is convince them to wait 24 hours before doing anything about it.

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laurencewins

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

They would never get me. I wouldn't have a phone line and I wouldn't be "on call" duty either.

Let me explain why...

If someone is threatening to kill their own self, they certainly wouldn't have a problem killing me either, especially since they're not thinking clearly, obviously and hold no sanctity for life!

Can ya hear me?

Terra

INCORRECT. Assuming somebody has no sanctity for life just because they want to take their own is NOT the case. Suicide is vastly different to people wanting to hurt others.

It';s a frightening place to be in your own life.
I think Cali has summed up the facts quite succinctly. I also believe this is NOT a good topic for this forum for reasons I won't go into.

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MissTerraK 9 years ago

Wow guys, lol!

I was just being facetious and messing with Mark.

I didn't want to think that hard when I posted it, haha!

One thing I can say with all honesty is that I wouldn't be on the other end of a hotline for suicide prevention. It's just not one of my gifting areas. People would fare better with Cheryl on the line.

Because if after I tried to impart some positive thinking to them, and they still insisted living was horrid and life was a waste, and continued with a woe is me attitude, I would probably get so frustrated with them, I'd tell them to just do it and get it over with then.

It's best I stay away from that hotline, I think.

Terra
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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

They would never get me. I wouldn't have a phone line and I wouldn't be "on call" duty either.

Let me explain why...

If someone is threatening to kill their own self, they certainly wouldn't have a problem killing me either, especially since they're not thinking clearly, obviously and hold no sanctity for life!

Can ya hear me?

Terra

That is not necessarily true! A LOT of people, ironic but true, would try to kill themselves, but NOT others!

I know that sounds DUMB, but it is true.

Steve

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Zodiax 9 years ago

Come on it's not abnormal to want to end it all.

There have been days when I have woken up and said, "not this **** again".

I personally think anyone who isn't retired wants to commit suicide each day they get up to go to work.
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- Kay King 9 years ago
  
  I've been too close to several people who committed suicide.
  
  I had to come to terms with it - to avoid blaming myself for "not doing enough". It's so easy to start believing you could "control" what happens - and it's weight no one should carry.
  
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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

That is not necessarily true! A LOT of people, ironic but true, would try to kill themselves, but NOT others!

I know that sounds DUMB, but it is true.

Steve

I guess you missed the post where I said I was just trying to mess with Mark with the post you quoted.

I thought it a very deep, thought provoking question and at the time, didn't want to think that hard.

I'm well aware of the fact that there are people who wouldn't even hurt a fly, that do want to commit suicide.

Terra

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MikeAmbrosio

9 years ago

Frankly that's difficult to answer. If I worked on some suicide hotline, odds are I would have some sort of training (I assume). But since I don't then I would not know what to say. If it was a good friend, then I would be in a better position to help.

One thing I do think is that if they stop to call a hotline, my assumption would be that they REALLY don't want to go through with it. I know that may not be true in all cases, but frankly, if I got to a point in my life where I thought there was nothing to live for - I wouldn't call anybody. I'd just do it.

There is a bridge over the Hudson River I use a lot (the Tappan Zee) that gets a lot of suicides and attempts. You have those that climb on the edge and stand there, waiting for the rescue team. They don't want to die. Because those that do, drive to mid span, stop, get out of the car, climb over the edge and jump. They don't wait.

Morbid topic though...

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio

One thing I do think is that if they stop to call a hotline, my assumption would be that they REALLY don't want to go through with it.

My first thought.

Originally Posted by Cali16

Considering taking one's life, contrary to popular belief, isn't always an irrational decision. There are many situations in which a person can come to the conclusion that death is preferable to life - and understandably so.

Yes. In fact, I can't imagine a serious rational person calling a suicide help line. And, if they did...and I was on the other end of the line (A serious hiring mistake), I don't know that I would try to talk every caller out of it.

If I were just a friend (not working at a hotline), I would listen to their reasons, let them talk it out. I would offer solutions, if I could.

A rational person, thinking of ending it? I would be interested in hearing their reasons.

But if you are in emotional turmoil, I'm the last person you want to talk to.

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

My first thought.

After 60 years on this planet, I'd think it was at least your second or third.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

After 60 years on this planet, I'd think it was at least your second or third.

It was my first thought, not my only thought. And I wouldn't respond as though I doubted their intention.

I've thought of suicide myself. Not now, but maybe eventually. It would never occur to me to seek help. Or even call a friend.

And I've had a couple of acquaintances tell me they were thinking of killing themselves right then. They just wanted attention, someone to offer to help them. Of course, it would be a huge mistake to automatically assume that they wouldn't do it.

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It was my first thought, not my only thought. And I wouldn't respond as though I doubted their intention.

I've thought of suicide myself. Not now, but maybe eventually. It would never occur to me to seek help. Or even call a friend.

And I've had a couple of acquaintances tell me they were thinking of killing themselves right then. They just wanted attention, someone to offer to help them. Of course, it would be a huge mistake to automatically assume that they wouldn't do it.

SWOOSH!!!

(That's the sound of a perfectly good insult going right over your mirror-esque dome.)

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ThomM 9 years ago

I'd tell them about the different ways they could do it, as graphically as possible.
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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

SWOOSH!!!

(That's the sound of a perfectly good insult going right over your mirror-esque dome.)

Dan; Dammit!

I read your short post several times. I tried to reason out how it was an insult. I tried to reason out what it meant if you were serious.

Honestly, I think this is one of the few times that your insult had too little information, for a reasonable person to see it as an insult. So, I blame it on you....as I should....as everyone should.

I hate you.

if you are ever thinking of suicide, please call.
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- Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Honestly, I think this is one of the few times that your insult had too little information
  
  The beauty is in the subtlety.
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I hate you.
  
  Your hatred is the greatest gift someone can be granted.
  
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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

After 60 years on this planet, I'd think it was at least your second or third.

I just got it.

Pretty clever. And I should have understood it instantly. It bothers me a little that I didn't.
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- Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I just got it.
  
  Pretty clever. And I should have understood it instantly. It bothers me a little that I didn't.
  
  I think you need to eat more kale.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  I think you need to eat more kale.
  
  Nobody...Nobody needs to eat more kale. Kale is what you get when you breed cabbage with poison ivy.
  
  Kale used to be a popular folk cure for mental retar......never mind. Kale is good for you.
  
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Zodiax

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

My first thought.

Yes. In fact, I can't imagine a serious rational person calling a suicide help line. And, if they did...and I was on the other end of the line (A serious hiring mistake), I don't know that I would try to talk every caller out of it.

If I were just a friend (not working at a hotline), I would listen to their reasons, let them talk it out. I would offer solutions, if I could.

A rational person, thinking of ending it? I would be interested in hearing their reasons.

But if you are in emotional turmoil, I'm the last person you want to talk to.

Man, than good thing I'M not your child. Lol.

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Dan Riffle 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Zodiax

Man, than good thing I'M not your child. Lol.

Zodiax, is your sig file locked down? I'd think you'd want to remove the Mod comments.
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- agc 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Zodiax, is your sig file locked down? I'd think you'd want to remove the Mod comments.
  
  Sometimes the mod comments are so asinine that leaving them intact verbatim serves as a better commentary than discussing them ever could.
  
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tagiscom 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

SWOOSH!!!

(That's the sound of a perfectly good insult going right over your mirror-esque dome.)

You haven't been talking to WC, have you?
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HeySal

9 years ago

I've had a few friends commit suicide - in college. Nobody knew they were going to. They didn't call hotlines to discuss it. If someone calls a hotline, they are depressed, but they aren't suicidal as far as I'm concerned. Nobody would want to connect with me if what they wanted to do is call up and tell me about how much life sucks, anyway. If someone wants to croak themselves, they will do it. I've had people whine at me about it before and a hotline would get the same answer as people face to face do. Okay - just do it elsewhere so I don't have to be involved with it.

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

I'd like to think I'd provide a heartfelt, empathetic connection. Unfortunately, it'd probably end up going more like this:

Lethal Weapon (4/10) Movie CLIP - Do You Really...

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tagiscom 9 years ago

Probably tell them not to jump off a bridge, since some of those get botched and they hit the ground around the bridge supports, and basically die about 10 to 15 minutes later with one of their leg bones through their body, in horrific pain!

This is taken from one of the West Gate Bridge jumps that ended up this way, paramedics couldn't do anything!

But in all seriousness if life sucks how do they know that it won't get better? A rollacoaster has to go up eventually, at least that is what l keep telling myself, sigh!
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butters

9 years ago

Id think it was a PPI call or an Internet survey so I would hang up, guess they are screwed.

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tagiscom 9 years ago

Yes, a lot more skeptics tend to do themselves in or their siblings, after all if life has no meaning, and this is a one off why not?

Then they get upstairs and realize that there was a point and they p**** if all away?
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agc

9 years ago

Why would I convince someone to not commit suicide? If they think their life has no value, who the hell am I to argue?

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sbucciarel

Banned 9 years ago

The only suicide I've ever known was a young man who I liked a lot and was a friend of one of my daughters'. He never gave any indication that he was going to do that.

I would never man a suicide hotline or hotline of any kind. If someone has made a rational decision to kill themselves, I wouldn't want anything to do with that process. They most likely will do it if they want to and I'm just not going to wring my hands over it and try to talk them out of it.

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seasoned

9 years ago

Well, I have spoken with severely depressed people before, and tried to convince them that my life wasn't so great, and that many others aren't that great off, and they aren't that bad, but it ends up with them bringing me down, so I won't get involved anymore. I would NEVER man a prevention line. WHO would CALL a prevention line? WHO?!?!?!? It makes NO sense! People that want to kill themselves, contrary to what Terra said, simply want to get over the pain, stress, or endless torment. They look at it like many look at sleep after a long work day. If they want to kill ANYONE, it would be those that hurt them.

HECK, there is a new type of criminal that they even created a term for! It is called "Suicide by cop"! They push the envelope JUST enough to get fatally shot by a cop. Funny thing though, I don't think any of THEM actually killed people. So WHY suicide by COP? Because once it reaches a certain point, you are COMMITTED! People try all sorts of things only to turn at the last minute and live with the torment of what they have done.

Writing this, I am reminded of a person that drank DRANO to kill himself! DRANO!!!!!!!!!!! Drano® Max Gel Clog Remover | Clear Clogged Drains Fast With Max Gel The man ended up being in enough pain to call 911. They saved him, but now he has to manually work food through his digestive system, which is FAR smaller, etc... His life is not as good as it was, but could have been even WORSE! People USED to use things like sleeping pills, but now THOSE are no good.

Suicide bomber terrorists and the like are not looking to end their lives, but to go to a sort of paradise for risking their lives to kill others. How they are made to believe that is BEYOND me but, apparently, they DO. Some christians claim to believe in that KIND of sacrifice, but at least they aren't intentionally killing themselves, or doing it to harm others.

Steve

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

People that want to kill themselves, contrary to what Terra said, simply want to get over the pain, stress, or endless torment.

Steve

CALLING STEVE! CALLING STEVE!

I REPEAT...

I guess you missed the post where I said I was just trying to mess with Mark with the post you quoted.

I thought it a very deep, thought provoking question and at the time, didn't want to think that hard.

I'm well aware of the fact that there are people who wouldn't even hurt a fly, that do want to commit suicide.

Yikes, already!

Terra

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seasoned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

CALLING STEVE! CALLING STEVE!

I REPEAT...

Yikes, already!

Terra

I wrote that BEFORE I saw your post. Sorry if I missed the sequence.

Steve
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Mike Anthony

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

Well, I have spoken with severely depressed people before, and tried to convince them that my life wasn't so great, and that many others aren't that great off, and they aren't that bad, but it ends up with them bringing me down, so I won't get involved anymore. I would NEVER man a prevention line. WHO would CALL a prevention line? WHO?!?!?!? It makes NO sense! People that want to kill themselves, contrary to what Terra said, simply want to get over the pain, stress, or endless torment. They look at it like many look at sleep after a long work day. If they want to kill ANYONE, it would be those that hurt them.

HECK, there is a new type of criminal that they even created a term for! It is called "Suicide by cop"! They push the envelope JUST enough to get fatally shot by a cop. Funny thing though, I don't think any of THEM actually killed people. So WHY suicide by COP? Because once it reaches a certain point, you are COMMITTED! People try all sorts of things only to turn at the last minute and live with the torment of what they have done.

Writing this, I am reminded of a person that drank DRANO to kill himself! DRANO!!!!!!!!!!! Drano® Max Gel Clog Remover | Clear Clogged Drains Fast With Max Gel The man ended up being in enough pain to call 911. They saved him, but now he has to manually work food through his digestive system, which is FAR smaller, etc... His life is not as good as it was, but could have been even WORSE! People USED to use things like sleeping pills, but now THOSE are no good.

Suicide bomber terrorists and the like are not looking to end their lives, but to go to a sort of paradise for risking their lives to kill others. How they are made to believe that is BEYOND me but, apparently, they DO. Some christians claim to believe in that KIND of sacrifice, but at least they aren't intentionally killing themselves, or doing it to harm others.

Steve

Steve, the question was what would you say to stop somebody killing themselves not what kind of conversation you would start to make them want to.

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tagiscom

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

Well, I have spoken with severely depressed people before, and tried to convince them that my life wasn't so great, and that many others aren't that great off, and they aren't that bad, but it ends up with them bringing me down, so I won't get involved anymore. I would NEVER man a prevention line. WHO would CALL a prevention line? WHO?!?!?!? It makes NO sense! People that want to kill themselves, contrary to what Terra said, simply want to get over the pain, stress, or endless torment. They look at it like many look at sleep after a long work day. If they want to kill ANYONE, it would be those that hurt them.

HECK, there is a new type of criminal that they even created a term for! It is called "Suicide by cop"! They push the envelope JUST enough to get fatally shot by a cop. Funny thing though, I don't think any of THEM actually killed people. So WHY suicide by COP? Because once it reaches a certain point, you are COMMITTED! People try all sorts of things only to turn at the last minute and live with the torment of what they have done.

Writing this, I am reminded of a person that drank DRANO to kill himself! DRANO!!!!!!!!!!! Drano® Max Gel Clog Remover | Clear Clogged Drains Fast With Max Gel The man ended up being in enough pain to call 911. They saved him, but now he has to manually work food through his digestive system, which is FAR smaller, etc... His life is not as good as it was, but could have been even WORSE! People USED to use things like sleeping pills, but now THOSE are no good.

Suicide bomber terrorists and the like are not looking to end their lives, but to go to a sort of paradise for risking their lives to kill others. How they are made to believe that is BEYOND me but, apparently, they DO. Some christians claim to believe in that KIND of sacrifice, but at least they aren't intentionally killing themselves, or doing it to harm others.

Steve

Yes, grab a male teenager, and say that if you knock yourself off for us, then it will be 70+ virgin women all lined up, etc...!

True that they believe this A*** probably because they can't score a date, and/or there parents are skeptics, so life is a doesn't matter anyway so why not!

Pity that they couldn't see widespread suppression of the truth, then there would be less of this crap?