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Helping My Parents

by pranaman
64 replies
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My parents are about 70 years old. My dad did not plan for retirement, and he is still working. They are in south Florida, and recently went through bankruptcy.

Although their credit cards are wiped out, and they utilize a 'reverse mortgage' to give them a financial reserve they can tap into. I don't like that my dad still works (as a carpet installer part time) and I think the money from the reverse mortgage will run out at some point.

While they get social security, my dad still works to cover the $1000-$2000 additional they need per month. I'm not set up yet to give that to them, which I'd prefer.

I'm trying to see what I can do. I've recorded their monthly bills and am looking for help with:

1. Reducing their bills.

Web page with their expenses: Parent's Expenses.

Seeing if I can lower some bills (I think $120 for DirecTV is way too much, and the home phone and cell phones, ...). I'm very thrifty when I need to be... my mom, not so much.

2. Creating another income sources - an investment, maybe a site for my mom. She makes cards/does stamping, and, is computer literate.

I am welcoming any ideas.

Thank you.
  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

    My parents are about 70 years old. My dad did not plan for retirement, and he is still working. They are in south Florida, and recently went through bankruptcy.

    Although their credit cards are wiped out, and they utilize a 'reverse mortgage' to give them a financial reserve they can tap into. I don't like that my dad still works (as a carpet installer part time) and I think the money from the reverse mortgage will run out at some point.

    While they get social security, my dad still works to cover the $1000-$2000 additional they need per month. I'm not set up yet to give that to them, which I'd prefer.

    I'm trying to see what I can do. I've recorded their monthly bills and am looking for help with:

    1. Reducing their bills.

    Web page with their expenses: Parent’s Expenses.

    Seeing if I can lower some bills (I think $120 for DirecTV is way too much, and the home phone and cell phones, ...). I'm very thrifty when I need to be... my mom, not so much.

    2. Creating another income sources - an investment, maybe a site for my mom. She makes cards/does stamping, and, is computer literate.

    I am welcoming any ideas.

    Thank you.
    Having Sat tv for that price in that predicament at all is way too much. In the US if you plug a digital compatible antenna in to the tv it will give you about 50 free channels. They perhaps have internet so Netflix at 8 bucks a month. Amazon prime works out the same. So have one or both. Tv Entertainment cost is 8 or 16 bucks a month. Over 100 bucks saved right there.

    Eating out expenses are also ridiculous. Ever heard of packed lunches, home cooked food.?

    Using smart cell-phones also superfluous to an extent. (especially at their age) Ever hear of Tracfone. Twenty bucks a month, enough to make plenty of basic calls

    If they must, get a minimum contract. Get Vonage home phone (if you have the net) for 25 bucks a month anytime calling and use the app to make calls via it using the cell-phones.

    To many, what the lifestyle the expenses is depicting is extravagant.
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    • Profile picture of the author pranaman
      Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post


      Having Sat tv for that price in that predicament at all is way too much. In the US if you plug a digital compatible antenna in to the tv it will give you about 50 free channels. They perhaps have internet so Netflix at 8 bucks a month. Amazon prime works out the same. So have one or both. Tv Entertainment cost is 8 or 16 bucks a month. Over 100 bucks saved right there.

      Eating out expenses are also ridiculous. Ever heard of packed lunches, home cooked food.?

      Using smart cell-phones also superfluous to an extent. (especially at their age) Ever hear of Tracfone. Twenty bucks a month, enough to make plenty of basic calls

      If they must, get a minimum contract. Get Vonage home phone (if you have the net) for 25 bucks a month anytime calling and use the app to make calls via it using the cell-phones.
      I agree. Currently, she is locked in with DirecTV until June 2016. I'm seeing if she can go on a month-to-month basis, lower her bill or switch all together.

      $60/week is for my dad to eat out with his coworkers.

      Yes, I agree on the tracfone or lower priced option. It's my mom, she wanted a fancy phone...looking into alternatives.
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

        I agree. Currently, she is locked in with DirecTV until June 2016. I'm seeing if she can go on a month-to-month basis, lower her bill or switch all together.

        $60/week is for my dad to eat out with his coworkers.

        Yes, I agree on the tracfone or lower priced option. It's my mom, she wanted a fancy phone...looking into alternatives.
        I purchased a clearance smart phone from Family Dollar for $10 and it is a Net10. Net 10, Tracfone, Wal-Mart's phone ( I can't recall the name right now) are all the same company and use the Verizon networks. I can get unlimited phone and data for $40 or $50 a month.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

        I agree. Currently, she is locked in with DirecTV until June 2016. I'm seeing if she can go on a month-to-month basis, lower her bill or switch all together.

        $60/week is for my dad to eat out with his coworkers.

        Yes, I agree on the tracfone or lower priced option. It's my mom, she wanted a fancy phone...looking into alternatives.
        We have Direct TV, over a period of several months our package went up from 89.99 to 115.00. Ridiculous increase. We Reduced our channels and now pay what we are paying before. Being locked in means they can pay a few hundred bucks and get out of the contract. surely better than paying 120 a month for another 10 months? They can lower their package to the lowest available too as another option.

        As you see from this thread, there are a ton of things your parents "Could" do to save money. But, are they prepared to do it?. Lessons not learned from bankruptcy. They still want the luxuries of past, more prosperous times. It's going to take something big to bring them to their senses. You face quite a struggle there, best of luck.

        PS. A friend of mine lived the same way, business doing well, then dropped off, not prepared to give up all the money sucking luxuries. Currently having to sell the house and go somewhere smaller.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    They could cut the home phone as they both have cell phones. My wife and I dropped our landline over seven years ago and never thought a second about it.

    Your mom's cell phone plan, if that's one line, can be lowered.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      That doesn't look like a serious budget. Good advice in this thread - but if a bankruptcy and reverse mortgage haven't gotten the point across...not sure what will.

      Too much for TV - they can get the basic channels for $40 - and for $8-15 can get movies and shows from Netflix each month.

      Too much for phones (does your mother's $90 include ISP?) - too many phones - dump the home phone as many others have done.

      It shouldn't take $850 to feed two people for a month. Your father works part time and could take lunch with him from home.

      $500 for maintenance is high for that budget. Another $500 "unspecified" is probably fiction. I understand you may be estimating that $1k but if your parents wrote down everything spent in a month - the total might be much higher.

      With no house payment or rent - with the debts cleared through bankruptcy - your parents should cover monthly expenses on two SS checks. It will be tight but should be doable. The money your father is earning right now needs to go into savings to provide some cushion - his work years are limited.

      Good luck helping them out - it will take patience (that may be an understatement of immense proportions).
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        • Profile picture of the author BIG Mike
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          • Profile picture of the author pranaman
            Originally Posted by BIG Mike View Post

            When money is tight, my philosophy is focusing on what's absolutely necessary, rather than what's "Nice".

            You didn't mention the income from the Reverse Mortgage, other than that they can "Tap into it", so further explanation is needed. Is the $305 per month for insurance tied to the reverse mortgage?

            There's not enough detail in the budget items, but I'm willing to bet you could immediately cut $1K just on the last two line items.
            From the Reverse Mortgage she has a $70K 'pot' she can withdraw from as needed. She told me she'll take out about $1000 every few months.


            Originally Posted by BIG Mike View Post

            All things being equal, there's no reason to think they won't live another 20 years at least.
            They are actually in good health. I am a health coach, so I am hoping they stay healthy.
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            • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
              Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

              From the Reverse Mortgage she has a $70K 'pot' she can withdraw from as needed. She told me she'll take out about $1000 every few months.
              "Things that make you go Hmm..."

              I see many opportunities in the thread in general and the statement above to feed the Cycle of Delusion that is going on with your parents and possibly you.

              Is it really "$1000 every few months", or every couple of weeks?

              Is it $1,000 or $800 to $2,500?

              Is there a $70K pot left or is that what they started with and now it's down to $52K or lower?

              Do not take mom's word for it, YOU look at the statements!!!

              My number 1 recommendation to start getting a real handle on this is to write down EVERY cent that is going out and coming in for the next 3 to 4 months. Don't take anyone's word, look at the numbers.

              Please keep us updated.

              All the best,


              Joe Mobley
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              • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
                This is supposedly less commonly-known information that might be of assistance for lower-priced cell phone service, the secret children of major, well-known brands using the parent networks - you can see the list here at moneytalknews: Secret Cell Plans: Savings Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile and Sprint Don’t Want You to Know About | Money Talks News

                I hope you can talk some sense into your parents. At 70, other than some comfortable work from home income, they should be enjoying retirement. The way things are going, there aren't any prices, insurance or taxes likely to do anything but increase, and if they make no changes, will fall even further behind.

                You might also want to research what companies are close by your dad (if he still insists on working) that pay better without such hard, physical labor laying carpets. Places like Costco, Aldi's, Trader Joe's, etc. Perhaps some creatively-worded search engine searches could help bring up some interesting results for their area.
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                • Profile picture of the author pranaman
                  Originally Posted by AprilCT View Post

                  This is supposedly less commonly-known information that might be of assistance for lower-priced cell phone service, the secret children of major, well-known brands using the parent networks - you can see the list here at moneytalknews: Secret Cell Plans: Savings Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile and Sprint Don’t Want You to Know About | Money Talks News

                  I hope you can talk some sense into your parents. At 70, other than some comfortable work from home income, they should be enjoying retirement. The way things are going, there aren't any prices, insurance or taxes likely to do anything but increase, and if they make no changes, will fall even further behind.

                  You might also want to research what companies are close by your dad (if he still insists on working) that pay better without such hard, physical labor laying carpets. Places like Costco, Aldi's, Trader Joe's, etc. Perhaps some creatively-worded search engine searches could help bring up some interesting results for their area.
                  Thank you. I've known of MVNOs, which are similar. I use 'Flash Wireless', one that is not on the list. Seems there are many non-standard companies that used the big carriers towers.
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                  • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
                    Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

                    Thank you. I've known of MVNOs, which are similar. I use 'Flash Wireless', one that is not on the list. Seems there are many non-standard companies that used the big carriers towers.
                    Yeah. I use Tracfone. I buy a one-month card for $10 once a year, then accept the $50 upsell to add a year of service. So it works out to less than $5/mo, and that's after taxes.
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                    • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
                      Originally Posted by David Beroff View Post

                      Yeah. I use Tracfone. I buy a one-month card for $10 once a year, then accept the $50 upsell to add a year of service. So it works out to less than $5/mo, and that's after taxes.
                      Wow David, where do you ever find a $10 card? I've never seen anything less than $19.99 for 60 (we get double on our) minutes for three months and then another card is due or else.

                      That's truly a good deal. Some day I'm just going to get rid of the house phone because we get continuous telemarketing calls and the fraud guys from "microsoft 'teknikkal' department." Apparently the dingbats still don't believe we don't have a computer.
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                      • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
                        Originally Posted by AprilCT View Post

                        Wow David, where do you ever find a $10 card?
                        Sign up for an account on their website, and then buy using that. They do not advertise it, (go figure), nor do they ever mention the $50 upsell on the site at all, but if you scroll all the way through the choices, you'll see the $10 option, and then you have to actually buy that to even see the upsell in the purchase sequence.

                        Oh, yeah, and get a phone with triple minutes, plus look for the coupon that they text you shortly before your time's up.

                        Originally Posted by AprilCT View Post

                        ...continuous telemarketing calls and the fraud guys...
                        Turn off your phone's ringer.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    All the other advice is solid, so I'll take a different tack.

    If Dad's still doing the physical part of carpet installing, I'd be a bit concerned about injury
    from moving the carpet, or pounding it in place.

    Maybe Mom can find a business, or businesses that will hire her - unless you know she has the entrepreneurial skills to do her own. And, maybe the funds are not there for starting a business?

    I have a part-time employee who is struggling to maker her own ends meet and yet she was trying to
    personally do and pay everything for her parents - who sound worse off than your parents. And, she has a son in college.

    Anyway, and maybe it applies to you, your parents got themselves in this situation, so take care of your household and kids first. Just facilitate what your parents need, including government benefits, rather than actually doing and paying for all their stuff. Unless, of course, you have the resources.

    Also, if they don't want to hear it from you, you could find a social worker, or other professional, who deals with this stuff.

    Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author pranaman
      Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

      If Dad's still doing the physical part of carpet installing, I'd be a bit concerned about injury
      from moving the carpet, or pounding it in place.
      sorry for the delay, re-reading the post and seeing things I had missed before.

      Luckily, the 2 guys he works with do most of the heavy. he does light work and supervises in a way, so he tells me.
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  • Profile picture of the author pranaman
    Thanks all. I am in at their home now for a little while. I hope to share the good suggestions.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Eating out? What?

      How many meals is that supposed to be for eating out?

      You're in Florida. My idea of eating out here is taking dinner to the back porch patio area.

      No need to tip.

      Phone thing is overkill for sure. They should either be on some kind of family plan or as suggested above some of those really cheapo deals.

      Do they have internet?
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        Is the car insurance for both of them? If so, could you tell me which company?
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        • Profile picture of the author pranaman
          Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

          Is the car insurance for both of them? If so, could you tell me which company?
          Yes, for both of them, it's with State Farm.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Netflix $8 (- $117)
    StraightTalk phone $45 (- $30 for 2 phones)
    Stop eating out $0 (- $250)

    Why are they spending $500 a month on home repairs when the reverse mortgage scam will eventually repo the house?

    Unknown? Figure it out, nobody needs gadgets at $500 per month.

    That list alone is +$1397 a month.

    Fix those problems above, keep working for 6 months & stash the cash (+$8382 cash in pocket).
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post


      Unknown? Figure it out, nobody needs gadgets at $500 per month.
      My cell phone is now 7 years old. Bought it used to replace the same model I had. It was $10 paid in full. I do have a smart phone coming finally - but it's a business thing for me and I really should have one. Even so, the new phone I have picked out is under $200.

      At 500 a month budget for gadgets I'd be getting a new apple laptop every year, new phone, new ???

      I try to get 5 years out of the laptops - only getting a new hard drive or upping ram.

      That is a HUGE budget for "gadgets." Even if gadgets includes things like toaster ovens and hand blenders.

      What the heck is going on in that house? LOL

      Tell your folks I'll take a drive down and sort it all out for them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    I use Magic Jack for my phone. It's $35 a year.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I hope to share the good suggestions.
      Why did it take you six months to "share" suggestions? Just curious.
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      • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Why did it take you six months to "share" suggestions? Just curious.
        The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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      • Profile picture of the author pranaman
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Why did it take you six months to "share" suggestions? Just curious.
        I've been in CA, while they are in FL. It takes more effort to keep this going from afar.

        Now, I am visiting them now, so it's coming back to me, how I realize that they are... how do I say ... not so good with money and often shy away on these matters. It's work!

        I appreciate you guys hanging in there. (sometimes I wonder if I ought to call in an intervention!)
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        • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
          Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

          I've been in CA, while they are in FL. It takes more effort to keep this going from afar.

          Now, I am visiting them now, so it's coming back to me, how I realize that they are... how do I say ... not so good with money and often shy away on these matters. It's work!

          I appreciate you guys hanging in there. (sometimes I wonder if I ought to call in an intervention!)
          I wonder if they want your help, even if needed. Sometimes family dynamics are such
          that it does go better if they hear it from someone else.

          Also, Elder Law and Estate Planning Attorneys and Senior Caregivers.... know more about the resources and programs available.


          Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
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    I like the part where he thinks he has to spend $240 a month eating out because other people he's working with are eating out.

    So on the low end of the paycheck ($1K) per month he's spending an entire week of pay on restaurants for one person. That means If he stopped blowing money on restaurants he can stop working one week a month & still have the same money.

    I would run circles around Suze Orman.
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    • Profile picture of the author pranaman
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      I like the part where he thinks he has to spend $240 a month eating out because other people he's working with are eating out.

      So on the low end of the paycheck ($1K) per month he's spending an entire week of pay on restaurants for one person. That means If he stopped blowing money on restaurants he can stop working one week a month & still have the same money.

      I would run circles around Suze Orman.
      He works with 2 other guys, doing flooring, and they go out to lunch, and he just tags along. He's older (71), I don't think I could get him to not do that.
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      • Profile picture of the author yukon
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        Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

        He works with 2 other guys, doing flooring, and they go out to lunch, and he just tags along. He's older (71), I don't think I could get him to not do that.

        Then you're wasting your time trying to budget money or help him stop working If he can't help the cause.
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        • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
          Originally Posted by yukon View Post

          Then you're wasting our time trying to budget money or help him stop working If he can't help the cause.
          Fixed that for you.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          Might be better if you based your advice on a financial expert like Dave Ramsey.

          What you are saying now is no different from adding on 2x$500 for "misc and unknowns" in the first budget. Now you add 30% "cushion" - which would help any budget work, wouldn't it?

          Of course, you have to HAVE the 30% to add on....and have money you are saving regularly as well.
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          • Profile picture of the author pranaman
            Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

            Might be better if you based your advice on a financial expert like Dave Ramsey.

            What you are saying now is no different from adding on 2x$500 for "misc and unknowns" in the first budget. Now you add 30% "cushion" - which would help any budget work, wouldn't it?

            Of course, you have to HAVE the 30% to add on....and have money you are saving regularly as well.
            I got this from Monthly Expense Calculator | The Blog of Author Tim Ferriss. There's a note:

            Dreamline Buffer: (x 1.3 for 30%)
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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      I like the part where he thinks he has to spend $240 a month eating out because other people he's working with are eating out.

      So on the low end of the paycheck ($1K) per month he's spending an entire week of pay on restaurants for one person. That means If he stopped blowing money on restaurants he can stop working one week a month & still have the same money.

      I would run circles around Suze Orman.
      While he would save some money packing a lunch, shouldn't the cost of eating a sack lunch in the calculation? The only way he would save $240 a month would be not to eat lunch at all.


      If a 71 year old man is working, I say let him spend the extra $140 a month to be social with his coworkers and find somewhere else to save money if possible.


      I'm not sure, but are the lunches tax deductible? If so, keep the receipts. Is there a way the OP can do some online marketing to get them more jobs?
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      • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
        Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

        I'm not sure, but are the lunches tax deductible?
        No.

        To wit:

        You can deduct the cost of meals in either of the following situations.
        • It is necessary for you to stop for substantial sleep or rest to properly perform your duties while traveling away from home on business.
        • The meal is business-related entertainment.
        Source: IRS Publication 463 (2015), Travel, Entertainment, Gift, and Car Expenses
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        • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          While he would save some money packing a lunch, shouldn't the cost of eating a sack lunch in the calculation? The only way he would save $240 a month would be not to eat lunch at all.


          If a 71 year old man is working, I say let him spend the extra $140 a month to be social with his coworkers and find somewhere else to save money if possible.


          I'm not sure, but are the lunches tax deductible? If so, keep the receipts. Is there a way the OP can do some online marketing to get them more jobs?
          I think it's a matter of reevaluating priorities.

          Finding fair compromises.

          He could eat with the coworkers 2x a week instead of 5.

          He could encourage those 2 days as cheaper lunch options. Find somewhere with a 5 dollar lunch deal.

          You can't get out of a hole and expect to maintain all quality of life things that are dependent on financial investment.

          Perhaps he can even work with the coworkers to arrange some "pot luck" days where they all take turns bringing something different for the group to share - at a picnic table or something.

          Phone situation is a pretty clear fix. Knock down to 2 cell phones - and make those the most basic simple plans.

          Ditch the TV thing. Look into setting up to get the free local channels.

          Those last 2 on the list need to be really looked into. Miscellaneous and unknowns. A full house inventory needs to happen, where everything from toothpaste, shampoo, TP etc needs to be written down and budgeted what is being spent on it.

          If there is an extra room in the house, I'd be looking at renting that out too. Find someone like a local hospice worker who just needs a place to go when they are not at work.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            Kurt -

            The number in the OP is $60/wk...so that's more than $240/month.....in addition to $600 in food per month for two people.

            I agree about enjoying lunches - and I think if Dad's job pays for itself (car, gas, supplies, lunches) - he should enjoy it and call it a hobby.

            But the OP said the money needed is because they have a shortfall. Do they maintain an extra car for the job? Does the job pay for the costs of working...or not? Could any extra from the job go into savings for the future?

            If the reverse mortgage is only in the father's name (not uncommon)...it would be due immediately should something happen to dad. Has the OP checked that to see if that's the case?

            They'll do what they want and that's fine....but eventually it will be a problem.
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            • Profile picture of the author Kurt
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              Kurt -

              The number in the OP is $60/wk...so that's more than $240/month.....in addition to $600 in food per month for two people.

              I agree about enjoying lunches - and I think if Dad's job pays for itself (car, gas, supplies, lunches) - he should enjoy it and call it a hobby.

              But the OP said the money needed is because they have a shortfall. Do they maintain an extra car for the job? Does the job pay for the costs of working...or not? Could any extra from the job go into savings for the future?

              If the reverse mortgage is only in the father's name (not uncommon)...it would be due immediately should something happen to dad. Has the OP checked that to see if that's the case?

              They'll do what they want and that's fine....but eventually it will be a problem.
              The $240 wasn't my math. It was an example used by another poster.

              That $240 a month assumes he isn't eating/paying for any lunch at all. My number is just a quick estimate that a sack lunch will cost about $3. It could be cheaper, but I hope nobody is suggesting he not eat at all?

              To repeat, the $240 a month figure (or $60 x 4.3 which is the average number of weeks in a month) isn't the true savings, assuming he has to spend something on food.

              And to repeat one more time, it's also possible to earn more money.
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              • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
                Originally Posted by Kurt View Post


                And to repeat one more time, it's also possible to earn more money.
                Connotative application of Parkinson's law, to money
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                • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                  Originally Posted by Zodiax View Post

                  Connotative application of Parkinson's law, to money
                  I thanked your post to fool everyone into thinking I was smart enough to know what you are talking about.

                  I sure hope it worked.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Janice Sperry
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    I thanked your post to fool everyone into thinking I was smart enough to know what you are talking about.

                    I sure hope it worked.
                    I was going to do the same thing but I could not login all morning. Now you did it before me and told the whole world why. So now I can't do it. I will have to find another way to trick people into thinking I am smart.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    I thanked your post to fool everyone into thinking I was smart enough to know what you are talking about.

                    I sure hope it worked.
                    You forgot that I gave you my password.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kurt
            Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

            I think it's a matter of reevaluating priorities.

            Finding fair compromises.

            He could eat with the coworkers 2x a week instead of 5.

            He could encourage those 2 days as cheaper lunch options. Find somewhere with a 5 dollar lunch deal.

            You can't get out of a hole and expect to maintain all quality of life things that are dependent on financial investment.
            To be clear, I didn't say he didn't need to cut back. I said that he should look for other ways to cut back if possible. However, I believe being social with coworkers is also a priority, especially for seniors who tend to become isolated.


            He probably isn't driving is own vehicle and may be at the mercy of his coworkers where they eat.


            I agree that there may be things like coupons and lunch specials they can take advantage of. He should explain his situation and ask if they can compromise a bit. With a crew of three, he should be able to pick the place they eat once or twice a week.


            Cutting back isn't the only option. Making more money will also work. Like I asked in my earlier post, can the OP do IM to get the crew more jobs? Maybe teach his mom how to post on Cragsilist and other basic IM to help out? Can his father sell the crew leads? One extra sale a month could pay for his lunches.


            Why can't Mom advertise for other businesses at the same time and put the phone to use and create leads, sales and take appointments for the other businesses too?


            It may not be possible to cut back on other things or make more money, and in that case it may be necessary to cut back on lunch. However, IMO it should be the last resort. But to simply say he has to cut back on lunch without considering things like being social and friendly with coworkers and having a little enjoyment in life doesn't take into account issues like mental health and happiness.
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  • Profile picture of the author pranaman
    I redid the budget with them, and it's more like $1850. With a 30% cushion, as suggested by Tim Ferriss, it's more like $2400.

    I think that's more accurate, a range from $1850 - $2400, so it's not as bad as it was.
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Banned
    Get protein powder. Seniors love that stuff.

    EDIT: Imagine how much you would save on chicken.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Rereading this thread, there's some things that can be cut...mostly phones. It also may be possible to cut the electricity a bit by doing a few small things like adding an insulating jacket to the hot water heater, cutting back on lighting, using a clothes line instead of a dryer when they can, etc.

    However, I think finding more income should be a big focus. They can only cut back so much, but earning isn't as limited.

    Can Mom pet sit?


    Maybe do some Craigslist arbitrage where they find things for free then sell them at yard sales?

    Can she do computer training for kids or tutoring, event or wedding planner. Make and sell arts and crafts on sites like Etsey?

    Can she type fast enough to do transcription work online?

    Can she apply to be an online juror?

    Can the people that Dad works with add other services like carpet dying? This could be fairly lucrative if they can get a business account that has multiple offices or motels/hotels.

    Do they have a room they can rent to another senior? Convert the garage to rent out on AirBnB?

    Or rent the garage for storage? An add on Craigslist is free and it doesn't hurt to try. Just make sure the guy isn't named Walter White.

    Are they in a city big enough to have focus groups or mystery shoppers?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Well this is some tough love - but it sounds like Mommy and Daddy have pure consumer mentalities with no money to back those mentalities up. I appreciate that you are a very good Son wanting to help provide for them - but if they are spending themselves into oblivion, do not be fooled into thinking you can do too much because they'll eat through everything you give them,too - and you'll end up in the same boat. I am fully aware that people need help sometimes. God knows I have - I've had a few hard financial crises. At some point of broke, people have to figure out that what they want isn't always what they need and people can live really fine lives without a lot of the crap they think is so wonderful to have around. Some people actually end up happier with they dispose of some of those extras.

    By all means, help them, but do NOT put yourself at risk for them. These people are almost a decade older than I am - it's high time for them to grow up and face reality.

    Some people need to learn the difference between a need and a want. It's that simple. When children have to intervene to save parents from their own bad financing, it's time they learned it.

    I have a net10 phone. It cost 20 bucks. I get 1000 minutes for 25 a month. I usually don't use that many. If I know ahead of time I'm going to need a lot of phone time that month - and I have twice now out of a few years - I can buy the unlimited plan for that 30 days for 50 and I'm still spending low compared to those I see around me. Okay - so I can't do a lot of functions on my phone. It's a phone. I use it to make and receive phone calls. That's all anyone really needs a phone for. They can either get a land line that hooks up via their computer for almost nothing monthly or a Net10 to carry with them if they feel more comfortable being to make emergency calls outside of the house. It boggles my mind that even people who can afford a do-it-all telephone even want one. If you have internet, you really don't need to be hooked up to everything 24/7. It actually will deteriorate your quality of life if you don't put a handle on it. Let her have a low monthly internet plan - she can watch TV, send emails, chat, skype, watch movies, do searches, and own a free blog and even a bigger website for almost nothing monthly. I just dropped my Charter service because I moved....but it was only 50 a month and I could do anything with it - charter with a phone that hooked to the net would have made the price of having a do anything computer and a phone for only 70.

    60 bucks a week for lunch? Seriously? That's just plain crazy. You can go to a lot of restaurants and get 5 buck lunch specials that are pretty good meals. An allotment of 12 bucks a day for lunch when you're broke is ludicrous. Maybe he could slide without hurting his pride with his coworkers by simply adopting picnic lunches in the sun during warm weather - a few items brought from home, good food, good relaxed chat with the associates, sunshine for their health and wellbeing. If he's got his own business and has to take the clients to eat that's a business expense he can at least write off - but 12 bucks a day for lunch is extravagant. Period.

    70 yrs old. Have they gotten connected with either AARP or their local senior center? There are a lot of services out there that will give them cheap insurances. I can see the benefit of a reverse mortgage - but as mentioned above, you need to monitor that they aren't just blowing through it or you're going to end up supporting them on your own turf. If your mom can't cowboy up and learn to conserve money with her husband having to do physical labor at that age to support her - it's not looking good for either of them on their own.

    My best advice, since you are a son and can't really, or probably would not want to, raise a riot act with them..........get them into financial counseling. Now. Not after you decide to blow all of your and your family's finances. If there's some reason they can't live without keeping up with the Jones's after that, then get them some psychiatric counseling and find out why being kewl is so downright important to them. If they can't get over the ego - start pushing minimization as the new kewl and hope you can instill a new ethos of being kewl by showing how crafty they can be about not needing some of the basically worthless consumerism traps.



    Next - 850 for food per month? Seriously - how do you even DO that? I eat organic. You probably have heard people yell about the price of organic? I only spend around 225 on the average month and I eat better than 95% of the population. Mom needs a home economics class. Good food is not half as expensive as some want you to believe.
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    • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      ...[P]eople have to figure out that what they want isn't always what they need and people can live really fine lives without a lot of the crap they think is so wonderful to have around. Some people actually end up happier with they dispose of some of those extras.
      Amen!! It took me a long time to learn that, way too long, but I'm glad that I finally did.
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      • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
        Originally Posted by David Beroff View Post

        Amen!! It took me a long time to learn that, way too long, but I'm glad that I finally did.
        Fricken' Awesome!
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by David Beroff View Post

        Amen!! It took me a long time to learn that, way too long, but I'm glad that I finally did.
        I figured it out right fresh out of college. Until I moved west after college, I was stilettos and satin, Dom and limos. I prefer to drive my own rig now, and Asti still tastes better at less than $10 a bottle than Dom ever started to on sale at $80. I'd be a wealthy woman right now if I hadn't had such bad taste in men. I got financially trashed for life because of it. Fortunately, as long as I can put gas in the rig, there isn't much that I need to be happy and fulfilled that costs much. I'm not what people would consider a consumer at all. The idea of needing a phone that texts and connects to the internet is actually just bizarre to me.

        What bothers me is - why do people need these things? Why on earth do people feel the urgency for 24/7 connection - superficial connection for the most part at that. I know people that would foam at the mouth if they heard their phone ring and weren't able to answer it. And a phone isn't enough - they have to be able to text no matter what's going on around them - and they will put themselves into any financial hardship it takes to be able to. And now they have to be able to look anything up on the net any time anywhere. Here the OP talks of how financially strapped his parents are - but Mom "wants" something she doesn't need, can substitute very cheaply for....yadda yadda, and it all seems normal to people to jeopardize their entire life to have these little unnecessary toys.

        What is that? Is it just pure consumerism addiction or some sort of mental malfunction that makes them actually afraid to be isolated even temporarily? They will sit in front of computers that they pay 4 times what is needed for a multi-use connection for and sit until they deteriorate into coronary failure before they can get up off their butts and just get enough exercise without being wired to a source of contact to keep their bodies working.
        Is it a self-esteem issue, a phobia, or just an addiction to feeling more socially adequate than everyone else they know? Do they feel less adequate if they aren't as connected as everyone else is? Or is it corporations using those 150 mind control patented devices to addict people into a continuous financially draining connection that is actually destroying them? WTF is going on?
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        • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
          Yeah, I do hear you, Sal!! Really not much more I can add to all of that, except:
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          I'd be a wealthy woman right now if I hadn't had such bad taste in men.
          Sounds like a great title to a country western hit!
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          • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
            Originally Posted by David Beroff View Post

            Yeah, I do hear you, Sal!! Really not much more I can add to all of that, except:

            Sounds like a great title to a country western hit!
            I'd be a wealthy woman right now
            if I hadn't had such bad taste in men.
            Gonna pick myself up somehow,
            gonna live my whole life again.
            I don't need a man to complete me.
            I am beautiful all on my own.
            Gonna suck on life's gorgeous flavor
            all the way down to the bone.

            (Get your zithers an' fiddles out, gals -- here is the chorus...)

            Men are such f*ckers!
            Men are such f*ckers!
            Dump 'em out nekkid on the bayou!
            Another rampant sausage
            slithers close on up to me
            boy, I am gonna fry you!

            Ha!

            Where are my dungarees?
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            • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
              Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

              I'd be a wealthy woman right now
              if I hadn't had such bad taste in men.
              Gonna pick myself up somehow,
              gonna live my whole life again.
              I don't need a man to complete me.
              I am beautiful all on my own.
              Gonna suck on life's gorgeous flavor
              all the way down to the bone.
              I kinda knew you wouldn't disappoint us, Princess!
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              • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
                Originally Posted by David Beroff View Post

                I kinda knew you wouldn't disappoint us, Princess!
                Tsch, I am so predictable.
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                • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
                  Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

                  Tsch, I am so predictable.
                  Not so sure about that, Princess.

                  Ironically, a potential client asked me just this morning about my own skills in this area. The best I could offer them was this silly ditty I wrote (and sung) back when I was driving trucks for a company that didn't exactly keep them maintained.
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            • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
              Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

              My parents are about 70 years old. My dad did not plan for retirement, and he is still working. They are in south Florida, and recently went through bankruptcy.

              Although their credit cards are wiped out, and they utilize a 'reverse mortgage' to give them a financial reserve they can tap into. I don't like that my dad still works (as a carpet installer part time) and I think the money from the reverse mortgage will run out at some point.

              While they get social security, my dad still works to cover the $1000-$2000 additional they need per month. I'm not set up yet to give that to them, which I'd prefer.

              I'm trying to see what I can do. I've recorded their monthly bills and am looking for help with:

              1. Reducing their bills.

              Web page with their expenses: Parent's Expenses.

              Seeing if I can lower some bills (I think $120 for DirecTV is way too much, and the home phone and cell phones, ...). I'm very thrifty when I need to be... my mom, not so much.

              2. Creating another income sources - an investment, maybe a site for my mom. She makes cards/does stamping, and, is computer literate.

              I am welcoming any ideas.

              Thank you.
              Yep, plenty of good advise, but not much on making money online?

              Tell your Mother to go and get a Fiverr account, if she enjoys crafts then a couple of hundred up to $700 a month is possible.

              She will be working hard, although she does have a say as to how fast she will do a gig, and will get $4 gig, so something that isn't too time consuming is a must.

              I used to do flyers there, but 1 or 2 hours for $4, pretty useless, but......



              Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

              I'd be a wealthy woman right now
              if I hadn't had such bad taste in men.
              Gonna pick myself up somehow,
              gonna live my whole life again.
              I don't need a man to complete me.
              I am beautiful all on my own.
              Gonna suck on life's gorgeous flavor
              all the way down to the bone.

              (Get your zithers an' fiddles out, gals -- here is the chorus...)

              Men are such f*ckers!
              Men are such f*ckers!
              Dump 'em out nekkid on the bayou!
              Another rampant sausage
              slithers close on up to me
              boy, I am gonna fry you!

              Ha!

              Where are my dungarees?
              I like the first part!


              Second part has too much of a Men are F*ckers feel to it?

              Maybe l should try it, give men a go....


              "Popular Song"
              (with Miki Card)

              La la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, (ok, enough of that)...
              You were the popular one, the popular chick
              It is what it is, now I'm having a fit
              Standing on the field with your pretty pompoms
              Now you're working at the movie selling popular porn
              I could have been a mess but I never went wrong
              'Cause I'm putting down my story in a popular song
              I said I'm putting down my story in a .....ummm,..

              My problem, I never was a model,
              I never was a scholar,
              But l wish l was a Carpenter, (sorry, couldn't resist)
              But you were always popular,
              You were singing, all the songs I don't know
              Now you're in the front row
              'Playing on the banjoe
              Wriggling your front toe

              Popular, I know about popular
              It's not about who you are or your fancy car
              You're only ever who you were
              Or what you are
              Or who, what you are now,....groan
              Popular, I know about popular
              And all that you have to do, is be true to you
              That's all you ever need to know
              So catch up, 'cause you got an awful long way to go
              So catch up, 'cause you got an awful long way to go
              So catch up, cause you,...umm, what was..............

              I was on the lookout for someone to hate
              Licking on me like a dinner plate
              You hid during classes and in between them
              Dunked me in the toilets now it's you that licks 'em
              You tried to make me feel bad with the things you do
              It ain't so funny when the kittens are on you
              Ooh, the joke's on you, (and the kittens)....
              Got everyone's laughing, got everyone clapping, asking,
              "How come you look so cool?"
              'Cause that's the only thing that I learnt at school, boy
              I said that's the only thing....ummmm...

              My problem, I never was a model,
              I never was a scholar, (or a carpenter)
              But you were always popular,
              You were singing, all the songs I don't know
              Now you're in the front row
              'Blah, blah, blah

              Popular, I know about popular
              It's not about who you are or your fancy car
              You're only ever who you were, or are or want to be, or the past life thing

              Popular, I know about popular
              And all that you have to do, is be true to you.
              That's all you ever need to know
              It's all you ever need to know


              Fear leads to hate
              Hate leads to a date
              A date leads to a mate
              A mate leads to the dark room, (l didn't say it)
              A dark room leads to reruns of slop tv
              Slop tv leads to the dark side

              Nothing like a good old love song.






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              • Profile picture of the author pranaman
                Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

                Yep, plenty of good advise, but not much on making money online?

                Tell your Mother to go and get a Fiverr account, if she enjoys crafts then a couple of hundred up to $700 a month is possible.

                She will be working hard, although she does have a say as to how fast she will do a gig, and will get $4 gig, so something that isn't too time consuming is a must.

                I used to do flyers there, but 1 or 2 hours for $4, pretty useless, but......
                Good advice. I'll see if she'd be up for that. My sister and her 2 kids recently moved in, trying to see if I can get some of them to help out as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Ha!

    This has sure got me bobbin' my tail to the beat.

    Booby doo.

    Gotta love Truck Rock.

    Clubs worldwide await the Suzanne Elephant Gun Mix.

    "She'll be firin' off ballistics when she comes" kinda thing.

    Prolly we can also fit in the breast stroke, about which I am still chucklin'.

    Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

    Second part has too much of a Men are F*ckers feel to it?
    Jus' in case I am misconstrooed, I am only bein' playful here.

    I know how you guys are sensitive, an' I do not wish to come across as a mistressogynist.

    Remind me to compose sumthin' honorin' men sumtime, mebbe a villanelle entitled saltyvaulty.

    It would prolly be a homage to your love of fine cuisine an' dungeon exploration.
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    • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      This has sure got me bobbin' my tail to the beat.
      Heh; glad I could help!
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

        Ha!

        This has sure got me bobbin' my tail to the beat.

        Booby doo.

        Gotta love Truck Rock.

        Clubs worldwide await the Suzanne Elephant Gun Mix.

        "She'll be firin' off ballistics when she comes" kinda thing.

        Prolly we can also fit in the breast stroke, about which I am still chucklin'.



        Jus' in case I am misconstrooed, I am only bein' playful here.

        I know how you guys are sensitive, an' I do not wish to come across as a mistressogynist.

        Remind me to compose sumthin' honorin' men sumtime, mebbe a villanelle entitled saltyvaulty.

        It would prolly be a homage to your love of fine cuisine an' dungeon exploration.
        I know Princess, actually l had a good laugh, don't worry about me, if l can sit through Deadpool and laugh at most of it, then l am down the bottom of the go off the rails, on crack, and attack anything that moves type.


        I just stripped the lyrics of some song that is apparently popular, and tour it to shreads.

        The song isn't directed to anyone alive or dead, (well, dead is possible). But l am attacking kittens, in a totally racist and derogatory way, thought.



        PS when you watch the robot video, (other thread) go to Youtube, and read some of the comments. The comments are lets say predictable, and funny. Well, if you are into black humor it is.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    I got no sound on robot girl right now so I can' t tap into her syntholarynx.

    Back later for a fuller take on mechanical allure.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    So we're writing song lyrics now? Again? I don't know if I want to write another song without Wags here to put it to music for me again.

    I'd be a wealthy woman, If I had better taste in guys
    Raven hair and flamin' eyes
    Six pack abs and low cut jeans
    Addicting to the senses but All it ever means
    is Body slammed by again by cupid
    Silent type means ****in' stupid
    Opportunity repellant. small business wrecking ball.
    A poisoned kiss for luck from you
    and watch the digit counters fall
    I'd be a wealthy woman if I had better taste in men
    and I'm not being droll
    I'd be rich as sin today, had you been just a troll.
    La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
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    • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
      I'd be a wealthy women right now, if I were a women.
      Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author pranaman
    Post is getting long, thanks all who have been helping. I've reread it, and taken notes.

    Here's a summary for anyone interested. I'm visiting them here in South Florida, leaving Saturday.

    A few weeks ago my sister and her two children moved in. She's working on getting income, hopefully soon.

    I've gone over all their bills again, and called a few companies, (more below) and redid their totals. I have an updated list here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets...it?usp=sharing.

    Good News. Called DirecTV. I managed to get a one-time reduction of $240. [would love to have it dropped - dad is a tv addict... however, that's another issue...]

    Called AT&T. Home phone/internet bill down ~ $30/month to $77/mo, (plus got free upgrade from 12 to 18 Mbps for 6 months)

    Working on other bills this week, including cell phone plans.

    Thank you HeySal, bizgrower and Kay King for tips on AARP, senior center, Elder Law, Medicaid, Estate Planning and Long-Term Care | ElderLawAnswers, and Dave Ramsey for information on cheap insurance and other senior resources. Didn't think of or know of some of those. Late now, planning to call in a.m.

    Challenges. My dad is hooked on TV, mainly sports and news. I don't think I could get him to stop or majorly reduce. Maybe I'll figure something out, or show him the numbers - if he gets rid of certain things, like tv packages, then he won't have to work. Maybe that'll sway him.

    As for his lunch. He works with just 2 guys, and they work in people's homes. They pick him up, and take him very close back to the house. He's been eating with them for years, and, it's not like he really has a place to sit and eat a packed lunch, unless he went outside onto the sidewalk, so I don't think he'd go for packing a meal. Maybe.

    Income. I've hinted and asked directly from my mom to take her crafting skills and make a blog, put up an etsy site, maybe fiverr. Hoping sis and/or her kids will come through. I am working on learning online marketing or another income revenue stream as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author camssynergy
    Originally Posted by pranaman View Post

    My parents are about 70 years old. My dad did not plan for retirement, and he is still working. They are in south Florida, and recently went through bankruptcy.

    Although their credit cards are wiped out, and they utilize a 'reverse mortgage' to give them a financial reserve they can tap into. I don't like that my dad still works (as a carpet installer part time) and I think the money from the reverse mortgage will run out at some point.

    While they get social security, my dad still works to cover the $1000-$2000 additional they need per month. I'm not set up yet to give that to them, which I'd prefer.

    I'm trying to see what I can do. I've recorded their monthly bills and am looking for help with:

    1. Reducing their bills.

    Web page with their expenses: Parent's Expenses.

    Seeing if I can lower some bills (I think $120 for DirecTV is way too much, and the home phone and cell phones, ...). I'm very thrifty when I need to be... my mom, not so much.

    2. Creating another income sources - an investment, maybe a site for my mom. She makes cards/does stamping, and, is computer literate.

    I am welcoming any ideas.

    Thank you.
    I would really suggest you have them follow some simple financial rules. I learned these from the book "The Richest Man In Babylon" and believe this might be your solution:

    1. Save 1/10 of all earnings. Put 2/10 in to paying off bills. 7/10 in expenses.

    2. Control your spending and do not take on any liabilities that are greater than your income.

    3. Make the gold multiply. Your on the warrior forum, so there are plenty of great ideas for businesses. You just need to model them from a successful person and do it the right way without going for short cuts and hopping on the next shiny object.

    4. Guard thy treasure from loss. This just boils down to knowing your financial numbers and not investing in anything that is not PROVEN.

    (I'm skipping some rules here on purpose - You just need the important ones for your situation)

    5. Increase thy earning ability. Look, since we are talking about your parents here and they probably don't know anything about marketing I would suggest you have them read the book to get them financially educated about money. Your mom or dad may have to step it up in their job to increase their earning potential and that's ok.

    The point is, this is not your problem to deal with and I know that's a tough pill to swallow. But trust me, you can't get enough of what you don't want. That means that as much as you want to help your parents out of this financial situation, they have to want to get out of it more than you do to make it happen. Hell, you could give them a cure in a pill and they still wouldn't go for it because the pain isn't high enough for them to make the change. Some people just need to go through a high degree of pain(Mentally and Physically) and discomfort to change in to something better.

    Go ahead and provide your parents with the solutions I just provided and if they don't do it or half ass it. It is not your fault, it's theirs because they are responsible for their own lives. All you can do is point them in the right direction.

    Hope this helped and don't take the pill I just gave you personally (Leave your emotions at the door and re-read this damn comment from a logical stand point).

    I'm just being real with you. #nofluff

    Cheers,
    Cameryn Smith
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