K so I'm in a bar & she is pretty & he is a moron & I'm bitin' my lip.

Kay King

9 years ago

I just gotta ask...does it hurt to be you?

Could be wrong (probably am) - but looks like a lot of work...

Last time I heard "onto toes, girls" was long ago in a ballet class...

[ 2 ] Thanks

Signature

Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297159].message }}

yukon

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Fluxplay
of angels and devils
whumps nine
of my toes
onto spikes.

Tenth,
I dangle out
before the universe
before the universe
mangles hope
into doubt.

*yikes*

Don't watch the world
walk out onya.

One in ten odds?
Yeah -- you're gonna.

Onto toes, girls,
tiptoes to twirls.

Before the well
runs dry
on your whirls.

Claude sings this song while skipping to the barber shop.

Straight Dudes Skipping - YouTube

[ 3 ] Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297164].message }}

David Beroff

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

...Before the well
runs dry
on your whirls.

I couldn't've said it better... bravo!!

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Put MY voice on YOUR video: AwesomeAmericanAudio.com

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297248].message }}

Joe Mobley 9 years ago

K so I'm in a bar & she is pretty & he is a moron & I'm bitin' my lip.

Shouldn't there be a comma after K?

Joe Mobley
- [ 1 ] Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

.
Follow Me on Twitter: @daVinciJoe
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297261].message }}
- David Beroff 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Joe Mobley
  
  Shouldn't there be a comma after K?
  
  The "g" is silent... obviously.
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
  2 replies
  
  Signature
  
  Put MY voice on YOUR video: AwesomeAmericanAudio.com
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297267].message }}
  
  Joe Mobley 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by David Beroff
  
  The "g" is silent... obviously.
  
  HA!
  
  David, that's great!
  
  Joe Mobley
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  .
  Follow Me on Twitter: @daVinciJoe
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297277].message }}
  
  whateverpedia 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by David Beroff
  
  The "g" is silent... obviously.
  
  Not in Swahili.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
  So that blind people can hate them as well.
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297804].message }}

Jack Gordon

9 years ago

......

Originally Posted by Kay King

I just gotta ask...does it hurt to be you?

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

whumps nine
of my toes
onto spikes.

Duh!

[ 2 ] Thanks

Signature

Fifteen Lessons I have learned over 15 years and six businesses (or, My 1000th-Post Manifesto)

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297302].message }}

bizgrower

9 years ago

I don't know what this post is about, but it and the thread has been enjoyable.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

"If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297305].message }}

Dennis Gaskill 9 years ago

Originally Posted by yukon

Straight Dudes Skipping

I've lost all hope for humanity.

Originally Posted by bizgrower

I don't know what this post is about, but it and the thread has been enjoyable.

Dan, seek help immediately.
- [ 4 ] Thanks
Signature

Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297446].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

g

There.

Knew it was comin'.

Just gotta hang on now for the next one.

Weird thing is, most of the letters I write belong in other sentences.

That 'W' there shoulda happened yesterday, and I borrowed the whole of 'belong' from 29/4/17, around 4pm, when I plan to be in a coffee bar telling some guy in a stupid hat that he looks like he's wearing a wasp nest.

Way I see it, you guys are lucky I make any freakin' sense at all.

Anyways, the pretty girl dumped the moron, so everyone wins in the end.

,

Even Joe, it seems.

[ 4 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297707].message }}

David Beroff

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Weird thing is, most of the letters I write belong in other sentences.

That 'W' there shoulda happened yesterday, and I borrowed the whole of 'belong' from 29/4/17, around 4pm....

Sounds like you know this guy:

Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. Billy has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day. He has walked through a door in 1955 and come out another one in 1941. He has gone back through that door to find himself in 1963. He has seen his birth and death many times, he says, and pays random visits to all the events in between.

Source: Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Anyways, the pretty girl dumped the moron, so everyone wins in the end.

Inevitable. But did you win?

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Put MY voice on YOUR video: AwesomeAmericanAudio.com

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297714].message }}

Princess Balestra 9 years ago

Also, no -- I didn't win.

My hair looks like it's been replaced with roadkill.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297724].message }}
- David Beroff 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Princess Balestra
  
  My hair looks like it's been replaced with roadkill.
  
  That had to have happened somehow. So at least you had fun along the way.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Put MY voice on YOUR video: AwesomeAmericanAudio.com
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297732].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Maybe we're on the threshold of inventing remission marketing.

"You agreed to purchase all of our products in the womb. I'm just swinging this NLP-themed pocket watch before your eyes to help you remember..."

Thanks

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10297722].message }}

Cam Connor

9 years ago

PB, can you explain the EXACT meaning of your OP in a way which will make 100% logical sense to me. I don't understand it unless it makes absolute sense.

Thanks in advance.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298018].message }}

yukon

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Cam Connor

PB, can you explain the EXACT meaning of your OP in a way which will make 100% logical sense to me. I don't understand it unless it makes absolute sense.

Thanks in advance.

It will all make sense If you hold your PC monitor up to a mirror in a candle lit room & chant Bloody Mary three times.

[ 2 ] Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298109].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Doubt it.

When they handed out the logic genes, mine got fed to a dog.

Mebbe I shoulda insisted on eatin' the dog straight away to get it all back into my system, but you know how it is when you're in diapers: no speech & no choice.

Also: no teeth.

So my Mom fed me all that mushoo stuff, along with plenty of fruit to make my eyes sparkle and keep my legs from goin' rickety.

I guess that dog's dead now, unless it got real lucky, so all the time I should be spending working out is goin' on tracking down the pups.

But it's weird with dogs. They don't have geneology sites like hoomans, so figurin' any kinda family tree is a real pisser.

Hey — even if I find all these dogs, I still gotta fix up some way of gettin' the logic out of them and squeezing it into the currently vacant logic hole up there alongside the dangly bit that keeps squirtin' out hormones every time I think of Matt Damon.

Sure, I got a big ole syringe for that last part (the squeeze, not the squirt), but what in hell am I gonna use on the dogs without settin' off some cop-powered Vamp Girl Pedo alert?

Stick any kinda tubing in a dog's ass these days and you're askin' for trouble.

So mebbe I need a DISGUISE.

A mask, and mebbe a banana down my pants so the cops will think I'm a guy pedo.

(That's a trick I picked up from CSI, btw.)

Man, tellya what, for a girl blessed with zero logic, my planning here is reading pretty darn credible.

Mebbe they left a sliver of logic in there somewhere when they were scoopin' out my brain for the benefit of poochkind.

Not sure if this answers your question, Cam.

Or mine (not that I asked).

Sheeeesh. Looks like the two of us are gonna have to live ON THE EDGE with this baby...

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298114].message }}

David Beroff 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

...the dangly bit that keeps squirtin' out hormones every time I think of Matt Damon....

Go on....
- [ 1 ] Thanks
Signature

Put MY voice on YOUR video: AwesomeAmericanAudio.com
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298749].message }}

yukon

Banned 9 years ago

It's almost like story time with Ed Gein.

[ 4 ] Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298136].message }}

Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by yukon

It's almost like story time with Ed Gein.

I can't top this, so I'm just going to back out of the room slowly and make eye contact with no one.

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298151].message }}

Kay King

9 years ago

I'm saving this thread. Sometimes I think I'm a bit weird - and this makes me feel better about myself....

Crazy thing was it almost started to make sense for a bit - but then a dive off the next cliff to soar in the currents...or crash on the rocks...whichever....

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298186].message }}

Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

I'm saving this thread. Sometimes I think I'm a bit weird - and this makes me feel better about myself....

Crazy thing was it almost started to make sense for a bit - but then a dive off the next cliff to soar in the currents...or crash on the rocks...whichever....

Kay, I liken it to a verbal Rorschach test.

[ 4 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298199].message }}

Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Kay, I liken it to a verbal Rorschach test.

It's like reading a paragraph that is upside down, and in a mirror. At first, it looks like gibberish, but the brain adapts to it.

It's actually very creative writing, once the neural circuitry adapts.

Ed Gein......I haven't gone by that name in years.

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298221].message }}

Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It's like reading a paragraph that is upside down, and in a mirror. At first, it looks like gibberish, but the brain adapts to it.

It's actually very creative writing, once the neural circuitry adapts.

Ed Gein......I haven't gone by that name in years.

Huh, I've always thought of you as more of a Gacy type.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298226].message }}

Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Huh, I've always thought of you as more of a Gacy type.

I'm more of a Robert Forster type.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature
One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298247].message }}
- Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I'm more of a Robert Forster type.
  
  Your attempt to write like the Princess has failed. You make no sense but fail to provide any kind of imagery in your prose.
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
  2 replies
  
  Signature
  
  Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298260].message }}
  
  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Your attempt to write like the Princess has failed. You make no sense but fail to provide any kind of imagery in your prose.
  
  You were supposed to say that Robert Forster wasn't a serial killer. And I had a joke ready for that. Now, you've ruined it.
  
  You are the rui.......never mind.
  
  And every time you start talking about imagery and prose, it involves me, taking my shirt off. I'm on to your tricks.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr
  
  What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298274].message }}
  
  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Your attempt to write like the Princess has failed. You make no sense but fail to provide any kind of imagery in your prose.
  
  You smell like unicorn poop.
  
  Imagine that.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr
  
  What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298480].message }}

Princess Balestra 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I can't top this, so I'm just going to back out of the room slowly and make eye contact with no one.

Yeah, like that worked.
- [ 3 ] Thanks
Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298301].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Ha!

V for Verbal Rorschach test, V for Victoria Beckham pants.

*almost*

Next time I log on here I'm packin' a bucket between my legs.

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298224].message }}

Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Next time I log on here I'm packin' a bucket between my legs.

This is going to go nowhere good.

Thanks
3 replies

Signature

Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298240].message }}

Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

This is going to go nowhere good.

You don't know that. You haven't seen the video.
- Thanks
Signature
One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298243].message }}
Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

This is going to go nowhere good.

It's "This is going nowhere well"

Words matter, you know.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature
One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298306].message }}
- Kay King 9 years ago
  
  most of the letters I write belong in other sentences
  
  Now Claude's doing it with entire words! - the stuff spreads like a virus....
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298316].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

This is going to go nowhere good.

Right now, I'm thinkin' of the iconic final scene from Thelma & Louise, only there's no Thelma, no Louise, and no car -- just a canyon echoing with disembodied screams.

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298325].message }}

Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Right now, I'm thinkin' of the iconic final scene from Thelma & Louise, only there's no Thelma, no Louise, and no car — just a canyon echoing with disembodied screams.

Wait. Are we still talking about the bucket?

[ 1 ] Thanks

Signature

Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298330].message }}

Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Bucket's in the future.

Mebbe 5 minutes away.

Thanks

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298345].message }}

yukon

Banned 9 years ago

I'm selling raincoats & hip waders.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298388].message }}

Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Dan and Princess sitting in a tree........
- Thanks
Signature
One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10298431].message }}