5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Funniest Thing You Ever Saw?

by jmidas
4 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
    • |
I am a firm believer that real life is funnier than any scripted comedy. So, I ask all of you: what is the funniest real-life thing you ever saw (not heard about from someone else, but actually witnessed)?

I'll start:

About 10 years ago I was at my brother in law's wedding. He married a nice, pretty girl (still happily married). At the reception, the bride's father thought he would dedicate his favorite song to his daughter and new son. So he made this wonderful, sincere speech - then had the DJ play
Jimmy Soul's "If You Want to Be Happy".

All those years as his favorite song, he must have never paid attention to the lyrics. As an oldies fan, I knew the song right away and just about pissed myself after he made his speech - and then this song started.

Lyrics:

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook.
Yeah?. Okay.




So, what is your funniest moment?
  • Profile picture of the author HomeComputerGames
    I raised my two rather energetic sons on my own since they were very small. I could fill a book of funny things they have done or gotten themselves into.
    One very funny thing is when my youngest had some bad homework papers and tossed them into a dumpster several blocks away. The wind was blowing very hard that day and it managed to blow the papers out of the dumpster and right up to my feet while I was outside talking to him. He sure was surprised when I picked up the papers and showed them to him
    Signature

    yes, I am....

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1084873].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    While I was in Aden more years ago than I care to remember an old arab was showing off a blunderbus he had refurbished. Eventually he agreed to demonstrate this rather ancient but ornamental weapon. A bag of rice was set up on one side of a wharf and Abdul (real name? I don't know) went to the other side - about 30 feet from the bag. After a careful and dramatic loading session aim was taken and the trigger pulled. There was an almighty bang, a cloud of white smoke, the bag of rice disintegrated and Abdul sailed over the edge of the wharf into the Red Sea.
    Signature

    You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
    Build it, make money, then build some more
    Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1086750].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
      Originally Posted by artwebster View Post

      While I was in Aden more years ago than I care to remember an old arab was showing off a blunderbus he had refurbished. Eventually he agreed to demonstrate this rather ancient but ornamental weapon. A bag of rice was set up on one side of a wharf and Abdul (real name? I don't know) went to the other side - about 30 feet from the bag. After a careful and dramatic loading session aim was taken and the trigger pulled. There was an almighty bang, a cloud of white smoke, the bag of rice disintegrated and Abdul sailed over the edge of the wharf into the Red Sea.

      LOL....guess he thought "Hmmm, big barrel, must need WHOLE can of powder"
      Signature
      Professional Googler
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1086761].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    My Grandmother was a stubborn Russian woman of Cossack parents.

    My family was visiting my grandparents in Florida one Christmas and "Gramma" was out
    in her front yard doing some yardwork. Everyone else had gone somewhere so I was alone with her and "helping" her. A few doors down there lived a deputy Sheriff that was a real blow hard, Barney Fife type of guy.
    He saw Gramma working and strolled over to talk to her for a minute before going to work. While they were talking a snake happened to slither by - a Gardner snake, not something frightening and poisonous. He pulled his gun and shot the snake. My Grandmother was furious. She started beating him with her rake and scolding him for killing an innocent animal. She hit him first on the wrist so he dropped his gun then swung at his head at which point he turned and ran. She followed, beating him on the back of the head and shoulders the whole way out of her yard........and it was a large front yard, LOL.
    She picked up the gun and we drove down to the precinct office where Gramma proceeded to give the Sheriff hell over "Barney's" actions - and the real show stopper was when she took his gun out of her purse and laid it on the Sheriff's desk and told him he should be throttled for giving that type of weapon to an idiot.

    Even as a kid I knew that the whole thing was just damned too funny - and it gets even funnier as time goes on.
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1086901].message }}

Trending Topics