A letter to the Prime Minister....

Dear Prime Minister,

I have just received the Aids leaflet through my door and would
like to apply straight away for Aids. I have been on the dole for
the past 10 years and have been living on Supplementary Benefit
and every other State aid I could get.

It now seems I will be getting aid for sex. It's a pity this Aids
has come so late, as I already have 15 children, and wondered if you
will be paying back payments?

Your leaflet states that the more sex I have the more chance I have
of getting Aids. My only problems here is persuading the wife, who
is not too keen after 15 kids. Several years ago, I bought some sex
aids, but she showed little interest and they were hardly used.
Would there be any chance of a refund for the £17.28 paid out for
these gadgets?

Anyway I will now explain to her that the Government will be paying
us for all the sex we have, and I'm sure she'll agree that we cannot
let a chance like this slip by. You also state that I can pass on my
Aids, but as you will understand with a wife and 15 kids to feed,
there won't be much left to pass on. If, by any chance, there is a
bit left, though, I will pass it on to my poor old mother-in-law who
only has her pension.

I understand from your leaflet that I can get Aids through a blood
transfusion, and I intend to write to my local hospital straight
away to see when I can have one. Will the Aids I get from the hospital
be deducted from the Aids I get from you? Perhaps you will write
and let me know?

I am a firm believer in getting every Aid I can from the country,
and I'm sure you'll agree that by my past performance, I do qualify
for this one. Could you let me know how much I will get paid each
time, and will it be weekly or monthly payments?

Yours faithfully,

John Smith

:rolleyes: