Are you a marketing masturbater?

by Jouvan Johnson 57 replies
Are you a marketing masturbater?..
Let me set the stage by telling you a quick story

The other day I was in the gym on one of those body composition machines that pump an small amount of electricity through your body to calculate your fat and muscle mass

I have been using it to track my fitness results to see if I am moving in the right direction

(let me tell you that thing is an emotional roller-coaster, up and down like a freaking yo yo)

Anyway on this occasions I noticed that I had a major impedance on my right arm it was more muscular than my left with less fat

What the heck could I have been doing with my right arm that made it so much stronger?
Instead of thinking of the logical answer...

That I am right handed so obviously I use it more,

I had a childish moment and giggled like a little school girl with the mental image of me furiously pleasuring myself while drenched in sweat. lol

Sorry if I gave you an unwanted mental image... If it's easier for you swap me out and imagine yourself in that position

So how the heck does this relate to you?

Well it got me thinking about how some people are what I call chronic marketing masturbators

What I mean by that is they regularly buy products just for the pleasure of having something new, They get all hyped up on the sales letter and get off on clicking that buy button

But then 30% of them never even open it.

What a waste of money...

Then out of the rest that actually open it 90% of them never use what they learn inside

They just get on the forums (a lot like this one) and bytch and moan about how "this" method doesn't work or "this" person is a scam-artist

Don't be one of those people...

If you invest in a product, treat it as that and make use of your investment.

Don't live off the self pleasuring cycle searching for the next marketing masturbation session.

Don't be addicted to the buying, get addicted to the results.

Jouvan Johnson
The IM Anarchist
#off topic forum #chronic #marketing #masturbater
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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    I am happy to say that my masturbation has absolutely nothing to do with marketing.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author dana67
    Marketing masturbater, lol. What a title. I enjoy marketing, but haven't had an orgasm doing it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marcus W K Wong
    Administrator
    This is almost borderline the forum rules in the 'offensive' category lol

    So to drive the education of this to make sure it flows well to members, this is an interesting write up, not just because of the content or innuendos (which I'll admit holds entertaining value), but the keywords.

    Thinking about the kind of people you attract by using these keywords is not ideal but, think about it... the keywords here are 'pleasuring, school, girl, moan, masturbation, fitness, story, sweat' all of which would attract a certain kind of traffic, which is traffic nevertheless.

    Aside from that, the message is extremely powerful and I do appreciate Jouvan for sharing. Treating your purchases as an actual investment rather than out of pure FOMO will always give you the appreciation of results.
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    • Profile picture of the author Fras
      Originally Posted by WFMarcus View Post

      This is almost borderline the forum rules in the 'offensive' category lol

      So to drive the education of this to make sure it flows well to members, this is an interesting write up, not just because of the content or innuendos (which I'll admit holds entertaining value), but the keywords.

      Thinking about the kind of people you attract by using these keywords is not ideal but, think about it... the keywords here are 'pleasuring, school, girl, moan, masturbation, fitness, story, sweat' all of which would attract a certain kind of traffic, which is traffic nevertheless.

      Aside from that, the message is extremely powerful and I do appreciate Jouvan for sharing. Treating your purchases as an actual investment rather than out of pure FOMO will always give you the appreciation of results.
      Yes you are right.........I agree you reply.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jouvan Johnson
      Originally Posted by WFMarcus View Post

      This is almost borderline the forum rules in the 'offensive' category lol

      So to drive the education of this to make sure it flows well to members, this is an interesting write up, not just because of the content or innuendos (which I'll admit holds entertaining value), but the keywords.

      Thinking about the kind of people you attract by using these keywords is not ideal but, think about it... the keywords here are 'pleasuring, school, girl, moan, masturbation, fitness, story, sweat' all of which would attract a certain kind of traffic, which is traffic nevertheless.

      Aside from that, the message is extremely powerful and I do appreciate Jouvan for sharing. Treating your purchases as an actual investment rather than out of pure FOMO will always give you the appreciation of results.
      Glad you enjoyed the message but I do hope those keywords were not what attracted you here?

      That would be very disturbing, that train of thought didn't even come into my mind
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post



    Well it got me thinking about how some people are what I call chronic marketing masturbators

    What I mean by that is they regularly buy products just for the pleasure of having something new, They get all hyped up on the sales letter and get off on clicking that buy button

    But then 30% of them never even open it.

    What a waste of money...

    Then out of the rest that actually open it 90% of them never use what they learn inside

    They just get on the forums (a lot like this one) and bytch and moan about how "this" method doesn't work or "this" person is a scam-artist

    Don't be one of those people...

    If you invest in a product, treat it as that and make use of your investment.

    Don't live off the self pleasuring cycle searching for the next marketing masturbation session.

    Don't be addicted to the buying, get addicted to the results.

    Jouvan Johnson
    The IM Anarchist
    You should go and do a video, (works for others).

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  • Profile picture of the author Mdshohidulislamrobin
    Banned
    I appreciate your title! Marketing Masturbater lol
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    • Profile picture of the author Jouvan Johnson
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      Just don't forget that self-promotion violates the forum rules. lol

      Frank
      Hmm I will have to be smart about it in the video and make sure I am not breaking any rules..

      If I said in the video that if you want to find out more about me you can check me out at [Web Address] but do not pitch a product or squeeze page would that still be breaking the rules?

      Originally Posted by Mdshohidulislamrobin View Post

      I appreciate your title! Marketing Masturbater lol
      How about the actual content?
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post

        Hmm I will have to be smart about it in the video and make sure I am not breaking any rules..

        If I said in the video that if you want to find out more about me you can check me out at [Web Address] but do not pitch a product or squeeze page would that still be breaking the rules?

        How about the actual content?
        It's not the content of the video, but the posting of the video or a link to it. You could check with the mods and ask them the best way to handle that. Figuring out what is and what's not permissible can be frustrating.

        It might help if they clearly outlined the acceptable parameters and created a sticky as well as including some pertinent information in the welcome email.

        Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post

        If I said in the video that if you want to find out more about me you can check me out at [Web Address] but do not pitch a product or squeeze page would that still be breaking the rules?
        As I understand them, yes - but I can't speak for them. Write support and ask.

        Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author Regional Warrior
        Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post

        Hmm I will have to be smart about it in the video and make sure I am not breaking any rules..

        If I said in the video that if you want to find out more about me you can check me out at [Web Address] but do not pitch a product or squeeze page would that still be breaking the rules?



        How about the actual content?
        100% shit like this should be nuked
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      • Profile picture of the author Steve B
        Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post

        If I said in the video that if you want to find out more about me you can check me out at [Web Address] but do not pitch a product or squeeze page would that still be breaking the rules?

        Yes, of course it would. That's what self promotion is.

        If you want forum members to "check you out" you put your link in your sig file - that's what it's for.

        Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    the message is extremely powerful
    The message that people enjoy buying new things even though they may not use them? That's nothing new. For many it's the "idea" of IM that's attractive...not the work. That won't change - and many selling to newbies count on that behavior to sell one product after another.

    This entire thread reads like something from an old boys club.
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    • Profile picture of the author Marcus W K Wong
      Administrator
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      This entire thread reads like something from an old boys club.
      Thanks for bringing this up. Will move this to off-topic since the provoked discussion in the thread doesn't add real value to IM.
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  • Profile picture of the author shaunybb
    I see stupid click bait title's still dominate WF front page *sigh*
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    • Profile picture of the author Jouvan Johnson
      From reading the comments it would look like the video is not a great idea for the warrior forum.

      As a marketer creating a video without a call to action feels so counterintuitive lol.

      Originally Posted by shaunybb View Post

      I see stupid click bait title's still dominate WF front page *sigh*
      *sigh* a thread title should promote a click, its like an email subject line, which main purpose is to make someone click to then consume the content.

      It would be clickbait if the resulting content had nothing to do with the title but as you can see my thread title and actual content go well together.

      I still see the forum is filled with little whiners lol

      Let's take a look at some of your thread titles and please explain why you think mine is "clickbait" and yours is not?

      "This Is For Newbies...(Don't Get Alarmed)"
      "Why can't you make money online? YES you...."
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  • Profile picture of the author Rory Singh
    This started off as a 'funny' topic but in reality it's a very serious matter. Yes most people have issues with staying focused and lack the discipline needed to follow through with a 'determined' MINDSET.

    But in reality there are deeper issues (mentally) that KEEPS most people stuck.

    Will Power and Discipline don't just come on their own.

    Only God really knows how this universe really works.

    But here are some things that can and will hold people back:

    1- Anger Issues

    2- Hate

    3- Blame

    4- Jealousy

    5- Judgement

    Do you ever wander why some folks just can't muster up enough will power and determination to complete the smallest tasks?

    Successful IM is a form of FREEDOM and sadly the 'average' human mind can not handle freedom.

    Do you see what happens every weekend?

    All Emergency Services like Police, Ambulance and even Firemen are more busy.

    The emergency wards at the hospital goes nuts during the weekends and holidays.

    For me personally...I suffered from severe Anger Issues and couldn't focus too long on anything until I 'acknowledged' I had an issue but more importantly...

    My 'willingness' to do something about it.

    I still have some anger issues but still working on them.

    Conclusion:

    The more I let my own BS go, the more freedom roles into my own life.

    And it was ONLY until then that I was able to start focusing on 'one' project online successfully (and start getting results with it).

    Just some thing to ponder today for everyone reading this.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    the 'average' human mind can not handle freedom.
    That's true . People say they want freedom but the lack of restrictions/structure when you are "free" is frightening for many.

    The more I let my own BS go, the more freedom roles into my own life.
    And you can't do it for someone else - only for yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisBa
    Lol I guess that's one way to call it.

    I think this is more commonly referred to as shiny object syndrome.


    Thanks for the good laugh
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  • Profile picture of the author Get Mega Rich
    yes, i'm a marketing masturbater. I make a very low wage as a sales/business dev manager at my company so i'm constantly masturbating ideas in my head to grow my company, and a lot of the strategies I constantly think of is how can I improve my company's marketing message. So yes, I'm a marketing masturbater. <3

    I'm in the process of negotiating a deal with the owner to make me a percentage of the company's profits since our company is small right now and i'm trying hard to grow it <3
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by Get Mega Rich View Post

      yes, i'm a marketing masturbater. I make a very low wage as a sales/business dev manager at my company so i'm constantly masturbating ideas in my head to grow my company, and a lot of the strategies I constantly think of is how can I improve my company's marketing message. So yes, I'm a marketing masturbater. <3

      I'm in the process of negotiating a deal with the owner to make me a percentage of the company's profits since our company is small right now and i'm trying hard to grow it <3
      That is the best way to "Get-ahead"!

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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Get Mega Rich View Post

      yes, i'm a marketing masturbater. I make a very low wage as a sales/business dev manager at my company so i'm constantly masturbating ideas in my head as well as taking excessively long bathroom breaks.
      Fixed that for you.

      Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author Gary Chapple
    Great thread and title, with a serious message here, people don't follow through,
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    I have to confess to being a "master baiter", but it has nothing to do with marketing and everything to do with a taste for fresh fish...

    Some people like teen vampire romance novels, some like spy stories, some like IM books and courses. For them, it's just another form of entertainment, which puts it closer to the subject line than an ereader to a bored housewife reading 50 Shades for the 47th time.

    I went to school with a guy that dreamed about being a farmer. Had subscriptions to "Successful Farming" and all the other farm mags as well as the state ag department mailing list. He could talk for hours about cattle breeding and crop rotations.

    But he lived in a studio apartment downtown, and had no real intention of ever leaving the city.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jouvan Johnson
      Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

      I have to confess to being a "master baiter", but it has nothing to do with marketing and everything to do with a taste for fresh fish...

      Some people like teen vampire romance novels, some like spy stories, some like IM books and courses. For them, it's just another form of entertainment, which puts it closer to the subject line than an ereader to a bored housewife reading 50 Shades for the 47th time.

      I went to school with a guy that dreamed about being a farmer. Had subscriptions to "Successful Farming" and all the other farm mags as well as the state ag department mailing list. He could talk for hours about cattle breeding and crop rotations.

      But he lived in a studio apartment downtown, and had no real intention of ever leaving the city.
      That is a great message. I never thought of it that way. Yeah some people may just like IM products purely for the entertainment value. As long as they know that and not kidding themselves thinking the results are just going to fall into their lap
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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    Originally Posted by Jouvan Johnson View Post


    Don't be addicted to the buying, get addicted to the results.

    Jouvan Johnson
    The IM Anarchist
    I like that. I can definitely say making the transition above is one of the biggest turning points in my marketing career.
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  • Profile picture of the author brookeharper08
    I never thought of Compulsive Buying or Checkbox Syndrome this way. It's a creative way to approach it, though. Nice analogy.
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  • Profile picture of the author usmantemuri
    lol what a title anyways i better focus on my marketing instead doing this
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    • Profile picture of the author Jouvan Johnson
      Originally Posted by usmantemuri View Post

      lol what a title anyways i better focus on my marketing instead doing this
      Lol glad you enjoyed.. And no more marketing masturbation lol
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    • Profile picture of the author Paulmelaus
      I feel I've fallen into "Marketing Masturwaiting.....unlike it's popular namesake, this new, unwanted love child of "the Internet" and "time" is a monumental curse of such gargantuan proportions, it affects newbie and guru alike. Solving the problem will make some shopify storekeeper rich....that is, of course, if he's game to admit he's found the buffer solution. I'll go out on a limb.....I bet he'll keep it to himself....and us waiting.
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Paulmelaus View Post

        I feel I've fallen into "Marketing Masturwaiting.....unlike it's popular namesake, this new, unwanted love child of "the Internet" and "time" is a monumental curse of such gargantuan proportions, it affects newbie and guru alike. Solving the problem will make some shopify storekeeper rich....that is, of course, if he's game to admit he's found the buffer solution. I'll go out on a limb.....I bet he'll keep it to himself....and us waiting.
        Nonsense it only took me 9 years.

        But l agree that the internet is time hungry, which probably explains that it can take a while.

        Although time can be dramatically reduced on creating some items, so it goes both ways, and the no ceiling on wealth always helps.

        PS Melbourne eh, hope that you enjoyed Moomba, and if you have a BMW parked outside your house, that you have a ball and chain around it, lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author ZachMiller
    Amen, too many users find themselves in a vicious buyer-roofie circle..

    Track your results, split test and get addicted to seeing those numbers..

    I always keep my #1 number in my eyes.. anytime I make a new funnel - it's $1 in = $1 out.. that's success..

    Then you can build a massive buyers list to keep selling your next product/service to..
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    • Profile picture of the author Paulmelaus
      And that's why it's well worth the effort of setting up a funnel...and why Masturwaiting pays off. The other bloody thing, something I'll never speak ill of, certainly does offer the financial returns of this new marketing concept
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  • Profile picture of the author NewEnglandah
    Thanks for saying "shiny object syndrome" in a real way.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    >RE: Are you a marketing masturbater?


    Beats me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Paulk59
    "Don't be addicted to the buying, get addicted to the results"
    This is a statement to remember, thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author kocher79
    I used to buy one info product after another, but got so overloaded with information didn't even know where to start. Finally stuck with one thing & am actually learning something now.
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