LOL: Anyone selling handbags, would you compare them to Paris Hilton's vagina?

by Kevin Riley

Posted: 15 years ago 53 replies

OFF TOPIC

OMG! Just saw this in my wanderings. I really must be more careful where Google takes me.

While it may seem difficult to believe, sultry, BFF-seeking celebrity Paris Hilton has limited her sexual encounters to "a couple of people," she revealed to Glamour magazine. "I think it's important to play hard to get," offered Hilton. "Nobody wants the fake Prada bag; they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive."

The star's personal philosophy has been backed up by no less an authority than the American Handbag Lovers Association, a group devoted to fetishizing women's purses. "We're glad that Ms. Hilton has acknowledged our unique point of view by comparing her vagina to an expensive handbag," stated AHLA spokesman Highland Churm.

"Our members appreciate the sensual beauty of making love to a fine Hermès Birkin, or the exquisite sensation of fondling a slouchy Chloe Paddington, even just sniffing the leathery musk of a Fendi Spy as your body becomes rigid with anticipation," said Churm.

"Hilton obviously knows her precious vagina is on that level. It's an expensive, classy vagina that--like a fine handbag--may take years to get, and not some stretched out old canvas Mossimo anyone with a Target card can buy."

I don't know about you, but neither a Fendi bag nor Ms Hilton does much for me.

#compare #handbags #hilton #lol #paris #selling #vagina

Killer Joe

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

OMG! Just saw this in my wanderings. I really must be more careful where Google takes me.

I don't know about you, but neither a Fendi bag nor Ms Hilton does much for me.

Kevin, it sorta gives a whole new meaning to the term "Purse Snatcher", don't ya think? :p

KJ

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Karen Connell 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Killer Joe

Kevin, it sorta gives a whole new meaning to the term "Purse Snatcher", don't ya think? :p

KJ

This thread title certainly opened my eyes at 7am on a dreary Sunday morning and the above post really made me laugh.

Karen

More coffee needed
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Lisa Gergets 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

I don't know about you, but neither a Fendi bag nor Ms Hilton does much for me.

ditto......
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Ron Douglas

15 years ago

Expensive? You can check out Paris Hilton's "handbag" for free all over the Internet. LOL

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TimCastleman 15 years ago

I guess this was before she found the Lord. Of course a week out of jail she was partying again and enjoying her new lifestyle of "Snort It, Lick It, Stick It" - her words not mine.
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- TimCastleman 15 years ago
  
  Oh and for the record I compare my .... oh nevermind.
  
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  Kevin Riley 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by TimCastleman
  
  Oh and for the record I compare my .... oh nevermind.
  
  Is that a Ferrari in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?
  
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- TimPhelan 15 years ago
  
  You say that like it's a bad thing.
  
  Originally Posted by TimCastleman
  
  Of course a week out of jail she was partying again and enjoying her new lifestyle of "Snort It, Lick It, Stick It" - her words not mine.
  
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rapidscc

15 years ago

I made a quick search and indeed saw her "handbag", there were times it was full, but most often it was bare..

However, I highly doubt it's a prada...

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Keith Boisvert

15 years ago

"Hilton obviously knows her precious vagina is on that level. It's an expensive, classy vagina that--like a fine handbag--may take years to get, and not some stretched out old canvas Mossimo anyone with a Target card can buy."

Paris isn't all that bright, I hope she can differentiate the difference between the two items. Would certainly be a bad night when you can't find your car keys.:rolleyes:

Somewhere there is a totally classless joke...Whats the difference between Paris Hilton's vagina and a handbag....? (I won't answer this one

)

keith

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Steven Wagenheim

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Keith Boisvert

)

keith

Paris can keep her handbag shut?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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Keith Boisvert 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Paris can keep her handbag shut?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

lol. My answer was: "You can only put a few things in a handbag."

Keith
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Scott Ames 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Paris can keep her handbag shut?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

LOL!!!

Its a good thing she inherited so much money. She is about as useless as one can get.
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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Paris can keep her handbag shut?

You can leave your handbag at home when you go out?

You can get a shoulder strap on a handbag?

You can only fit so much in a handbag?

You can generally remember what you put in a handbag?

You can coordinate your handbag with what you're wearing?

And the single biggest difference...

You don't need a condom to use a handbag!
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Sumit Menon

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Keith Boisvert

)

keith

A handbag is way too much harder to get into!

Sumit.

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Jagged 15 years ago

Be a little hard to visualize the next time I see Paris carrying her little dog around in her "handbag"

Can't imagine what esle is in there...woman carry some strange things in their handbags....

BTW...anyone seen my watch?
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JazzOscar 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Keith Boisvert

-----Somewhere there is a totally classless joke...Whats the difference between Paris Hilton's vagina and a handbag....? (I won't answer this one)

keith

It might be more difficult to search for your cell phone in a woman's handbag.
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Aljiro 15 years ago

Originally Posted by rapidscc

I made a quick search and indeed saw her "handbag", there were times it was full, but most often it was bare..

However, I highly doubt it's a prada...

ROFLMAO

Nice find. There's a marketing tip here somewhere.
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Rich Struck 15 years ago

Classy thread.
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- TimCastleman 15 years ago
  
  Rich -
  
  Are you opposed to making someone smile?
  
  Tim
  
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davesharp 15 years ago

Well you made me smile on a wet Sunday morning.

Thanks folks.
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Wiggy0618 15 years ago

*in best Simpsons comic book guy voice*

"Best. Thread title. Ever."
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JayXtreme 15 years ago

Hmmm..

This gives me an idea for an article..... 2 stores full of handbags will benefit...

Peace

Jay
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- Steven Wagenheim 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JayXtreme
  
  Hmmm..
  
  This gives me an idea for an article..... 2 stores full of handbags will benefit...
  
  Peace
  
  Jay
  
  Beat you to it and already submitted to EZA...that's if they have the stones
  to print it
  
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  JayXtreme 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim
  
  Beat you to it
  
  No, you didn't.
  
  and already submitted to EZA...
  
  How unfortunate for you....
  
  that's if they have the stones
  to print it
  
  That's not something I have to worry about....
  
  Peace to ya
  
  Jay
  
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  Killer Joe 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim
  
  Beat you to it and already submitted to EZA...that's if they have the stones
  to print it
  
  The article KR quoted was from Jan 6, 2009.
  
  This is hardly news.
  
  KJ
  
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sbucciarel Banned 15 years ago

priceless thread. lol.
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Karen Connell 15 years ago

This thread is getting funnier...

Lots of great comedians on WF!

Karen
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Michael Oksa 15 years ago

Answer: It's possible to find an unused handbag.

~M~
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- Steven Wagenheim 15 years ago
  
  Hey, Chucky, Chucky, Chucky...What's the difference between Paris Hilton's
  vagina and her handbag?
  
  You can find the bottom of her handbag.
  
  "The Unknown Comic"
  
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Dan Riffle 15 years ago

Answer: her purse doesn't come with complimentary antibiotics.
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bretski 15 years ago

Funny stuff! Where's the "Best of WF" button?!
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Fernando Veloso 15 years ago

lol

You gotta love Paris Hilton.

"We'll always have Paris". :p Now that makes sense to some guys. ehehe
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- Sumit Menon 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso
  
  lol
  
  You gotta love Paris Hilton.
  
  "We'll always have Paris". :p Now that makes sense to some guys. ehehe
  
  I think that makes sense to all guys!
  
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TommyBussey 15 years ago

(Paris fumbles around through "handbag")

Paris: "I can never find anything in this stupid 'handbag'!?"

This story is just unreal haha
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Jillian Slack 15 years ago

As always, Kevin Riley provides us with a much-needed giggle and something to ponder.

But I love Target! I know plenty of people with money who are perfectly happy shopping there.

I remember reading that book "The Millionaire Next Door" and the author discovered that many of the people who are wealthy are perfectly happy driving cars that are a few years old and shopping at less-than-ritzy places.

After all, if you come into money and start spending like crazy, you likely won't have money for long!
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- Killer Joe 15 years ago
  
  There's an old saying that "you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear".
  
  But appearently "you can make a Gucci out of Paris Hilton's cuchi".
  
  I wonder who she has in her clutches these days...
  
  KJ
  
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MichaelHiles 15 years ago

From what I've seen out of Ms. Hilton, it's not an expensive, fine handbag, but more like Samsonite luggage fram a yard sale.
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Jacer 15 years ago

Great find! Someone should compile these rediculous Paris quotes into a book or website.
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csgcsg 15 years ago

is there such thing as a fake vagina?
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- MichaelHiles 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by csgcsg
  
  is there such thing as a fake vagina?
  
  I'd provide you with a link, but it would get me into trouble.
  
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- JayXtreme 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by csgcsg
  
  is there such thing as a fake vagina?
  
  YES
  
  And they sell amazingly well in certain countries
  
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  Sumit Menon 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JayXtreme
  
  YES
  
  And they sell amazingly well in certain countries
  
  And I'm guessing those countries don't have Paris visiting that often. :p
  
  But, she's like a Guerrilla Marketer. Whatever she says, does is news and that's good because her whole business is based on her popularity.
  
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  TimCastleman 15 years ago
  
  I have stopped watching the news or paying attention to celebrities BUT I will say that since her stint in jail she has been off the radar for a while.
  
  Still made millions for the few years of "work" she did.
  
  Tim
  
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Jason_V 15 years ago

All I know is:

"This thread is HOT"

"No, like seriously! There's even like a flaming folder!"
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HeySal 15 years ago

She's gonna be so surprised when she finds out how quickly soft supple leather stretches out, hardens, cracks, and becomes baggy saggy beef jerky.
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Kurt 15 years ago

I feel sorry for the little chiuaua she always carries in her handbag....Gives a whole new meaning to "Yo quiero Taco Bell".
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seasoned

15 years ago

BESIDES, NOBODY wants "the expensive hard to get" item! Some buy to show off, some for it being unique, but EXPENSIVE? Hard to get? NOPE! And MOST women probably play hard to get in one way or another. PARIS is one example where class DOESN'T mean money. She may be upper class in income, but I would consider her lower class.

And $100,000 or FREE, I STILL wouldn't want her.

Steve

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HeySal

15 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

BESIDES, NOBODY wants "the expensive hard to get" item! Some buy to show off, some for it being unique, but EXPENSIVE? Hard to get? NOPE! And MOST women probably play hard to get in one way or another. PARIS is one example where class DOESN'T mean money. She may be upper class in income, but I would consider her lower class.

And $100,000 or FREE, I STILL wouldn't want her.

Steve

LMAO ...did you actually just ****ing say that?

Little girls "play" stuff. I really hate to blow your testosterone build up...
but when a woman "plays" hard to get........it's usually because she just doesn't damn well feel like being "gotten".

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Killer Joe

15 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Sal,

I don't think you can get through to Steve with advice like that without using a bit and an auger...

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HeySal 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Killer Joe

Sal,

I don't think you can get through to Steve with advice like that without using a bit and an auger...

KJ

Really, Joe :rolleyes: And after all that diplomacy I used refraining from including references to yokes and ploughs in my response. tsk.
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- Ken Strong 15 years ago
  
  Certainly, any woman who enjoys sex that much must be cheap and worthless. What year is this again?
  
  I know, I know, Paris started it herself, but still...
  
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LOL: Anyone selling handbags, would you compare them to Paris Hilton's vagina?

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