by HeySal
1 replies
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A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
what is believed to be the heaviest chemical element yet known to
science.

The new element has been named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of governmentium caused one reaction to take
4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as Critical Morass.
  • Profile picture of the author myob
    LOL! We should put some governmentium in the Large Hydron Collider and see what the moron forces are really made of. That would be a real crackup!
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