I am in a situation just like Nicolas Cage was in the movie - The Family Man... What would u choose?

by Creative Thinker

Posted: 14 years ago 35 replies

OFF TOPIC

Hi,

If you have seen the movie "The Family Man"... Nicolas Cage's life is determined by the choice he makes. If he goes to London for an internship, he becomes President of an organization down the road. If he chooses to get married and start a family he leads a different life.

I am in India and I have two options:

1. Marry a beautiful girl, start a family & do internet marketing for the rest of my life (and hang out in warrior forum of course!)

2. Do MBA in a U.S. business school... (Don't know what it will lead to, but I know instinctively that I am going to improve myself, build up a lot of self confidence, get some exposure, see the world, may get a job in US and so on). If it does not work out the way I expected, I can always come back home and start a family and earn my living on IM.

BTW, I am 25 yr old. Both the options seem appealing to me. If I choose one, I have to sacrifice the benefits of the other. I know what I really want but what I really want is 50/50 on both the roads.

Just put yourself in my situation and just tell me what would you choose. If you haven't seen that movie yet, I recommend you to rent a DVD right away... Its a great movie anyway!)

Thanks

#cage #choose #family #man #movie #nicolas #situation

Bjarne Eldhuset 14 years ago

Do you love the girl in scenario 1?
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- Creative Thinker 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Bjarne Eldhuset
  
  Do you love the girl in scenario 1?
  
  With 100% of my heart.
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  bozz723 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Creative Thinker
  
  With 100% of my heart.
  
  Fairly obvious answer then.
  
  Thanks
  
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Vadym 14 years ago

Money is nothing without happiness.

If both seem appealing, make a pro/con list for each, and see what wins.

Logic always triumphs
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- petelta 14 years ago
  
  One of the big turning points in life. When I graduated undergraduate school, I had the choice of travelling to Europe and being a ski instructor in Switzerland or going to dental school. I was a ski instructor for 2 years and now live back in the states with no money. I wouldn't of changed a single decision I made.
  
  You just have to choose what it is you want in life. Love is more important than money in my choices but you have to decide for yourself. If you really want to get your MBA, see if she can come with you. Theres always more options than A and B
  
  Thanks
  
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- petelta 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Vadym
  
  Money is nothing without happiness.
  
  If both seem appealing, make a pro/con list for each, and see what wins.
  
  Logic always triumphs
  
  DO NOT let her see the list haha
  
  Thanks
  
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garyv 14 years ago

This one is a no brainer in my opinion. What good is it to conquer the world, if you have no one to share it with?
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Chris Thompson 14 years ago

Yup ... if you think you're well suited to start a family with her go for it. Is there any reason you can't fulfill your other dreams WHILE being married to her and having both dreams come true? Do an MBA in India? Move to the USA later if that's what you want?
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Colin Palfrey 14 years ago

Marry the girl and take her with you.
If you can't do that for some reason then stay with her and do IM because money is pointless without love.

Mind you I'm a hippy so I would say that LOL

Seriously though, why ask!!!

Colin
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- reapr 14 years ago
  
  If you love the girl 110% and could not live without her I would stay in India unless she wants or can come with you. Worse case ... money goes a lot further in india if I am not mistaken and if you are doing ok with IM now you way ahead of most IMers.
  
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cashcow

14 years ago

How come you can't do the MBA now and then get married to the beautiful girl later? She will not wait for you?

Sounds like the MBA would be a good thing to have and you might learn something that helps with your IM business. Is there some sort of time-line for marrying the girl?

Thanks
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Creative Thinker

14 years ago

Originally Posted by cashcow

She said she can wait but we are not sure. In India, girls get married as soon as possible because their parents want to. Its complicated. And she cannot come with me because it is simply not feasible (like costs involved, VISA, etc)

And if new opportunities open up, I cannot make sure that I would comeback to home as soon as I finish my MBA. Last but not the least... I love the idea of being in U.S. even if it going to be only a short span in my life.

Right now its the right age for me and right time to get an MBA... If I do not make the leap right now, I am pretty much stuck up in India for the rest of my life.

Thanks

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sbucciarel Banned 14 years ago

I would find a way to do both.
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Andyhenry 14 years ago

AAAAAAAAAAA

And MBA is a piece of paper designed to make other people want you to work for them.

Just do your own thing.

You can have everything you want without an MBA - NOW.

I don't see this as a choice at all.

A makes sense. B doesn't.
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ryanman 14 years ago

You don't need a US MBA...To go places in life. If you want to get big...Text books will take you no where.

Talking about getting married right away...Well put it this way- If this girl truly loves you...She will be more than glad to wait for you.
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InternetM39482 14 years ago

Marry the girl and take her with you. That's what I'd do anyways.

Or, ask her to wait for you to complete your MBA maybe? MBA, as far as I know, is like just 2 years.
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cashcow 14 years ago

Ahhh... I understand. Sounds like you do have a tough decision. I would go for marrying the girl if you really love her that much. You may never find another that you feel the same way about!

Even though an MBA would be nice to have, you probably really want to work for yourself, right? And you already have that with IM.

But then you will miss out on the opportunity that coming to the US affords. That is your real dilemma. Missed opportunities.

Perhaps one way to think of it is to image that you are now at the end of your life. In one scenario, you go to the US, improve yourself, get the MBA etc.... but you give up the girl. Maybe you meet another girl and have a nice family. How do you feel at the end of your life? Regretful that you didn't marry the beautiful girl?

In the next scenario, you stay in India, marry the girl, have a great family, make a crapload of money working in IM. How do you feel at the end of your life? Regretful of the opportunities you passed up?

BTW - I didn't see the movie, what does Nicolas Cage do?
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- garyv 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by cashcow
  
  BTW - I didn't see the movie, what does Nicolas Cage do?
  
  It's kind of like "It's a wonderful Life". He gets to taste both worlds and finds out that he has a miserable life without the girl.
  
  Thanks
  
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Lisa Gergets 14 years ago

Right now its the right age for me and right time to get an MBA... If I do not make the leap right now, I am pretty much stuck up in India for the rest of my life.

I agree with previous posters - the MBA is nothing but a piece of paper. The great thing about IM is that you can make income that allows the both of you to TRAVEL! Come to the US for a month every year if you want to! We have computers here, too, yanno. LOL You can still run your businesses while you're on vacation...
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Taylor French 14 years ago

Well, the MBA would be extremely helpful in taking care of the girl, especially if you find out later IM isn't a good fit for you. But if you don't marry her now, her parents could pressure her into marrying someone else while you are gone. Like you said, where you live, girls are pressured to marry early.

Honestly, if you love her, nothing else should matter. Marry her, or you'll probably regret it for the rest of your life. An MBA can come later.
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Randy Smith 14 years ago

Business cost me two long term relationships in the past...
And the carrot was always that the sacrifices I made would benefit me in the long run!

They never did!

I eventually stopped working 100 hours a week, then had my own business that went bankrupt.....

Now I'm an IMer - I make enough to pay my bills and spend the rest of my time with the people I love and care about....

From someone who's been there, done that and bought the 't' shirt - I'm MORE than happy to be earning less from IM than I ever did working 100 hours a week. But the bills get paid and I love life!

When I had no money I thought it would 'fix' everything.

When I did have the money - everything else broke!

Now I just concern myself with paying my bills and spending my time being happy

Life is great now, I love every minute of it.

So for me - I would ask if you're a passionate person?

If so - take on board what both the movies seem to be saying....
A life of happiness with those you love always seems to be more rewarding than the never ending quest for more money

Randy
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dadvocate 14 years ago

What does your heart tell you? ALWAYS follow your heart. ;]
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Joel Gray 14 years ago

If you are successful with the IM thing and hanging out in the Warrior Forum then getting the education will not matter as you will be able to support yourself and your family anyway so the advantages of going to the U.S. and getting this education are diminished due to the profit that you will make with successful IM. And if you go you may come back home and someone else will be taking care of your girl and that would suck no matter how much money or education you have.

Joel
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- bobsstuff 14 years ago
  
  Obviously, if you ask for advice in an internet marketing forum, the advice will lean toward interent marketing.
  
  If you ask the same question in an executive business forum you will probably get a different answer.
  
  Since you are from India and there are important cultural considerations regarding business, education and love. Ask your question in an Indian forum of up and coming young people and your answer might reflect what your peers would choose.
  
  Every Indian poster who has asked this type question here in the forum has had family and friends who were pressuring them toward education and job. As you see here in the Warrior Forum, people "pressure" you toward internet marketing.
  
  DECISIONS! DECISIONS!
  
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jonrpatrick 14 years ago

Dude, I agree with the others, no brainer. You love the girl and you wanna get married? Start a life with her.
Life is too short to be miserable (or alone).

One big difference between your situation and the movie is this - Cage had to decide between being happy but with a low income, or being unhappy and extremely rich and powerful.

With IM, if you get good, you can have both.

My only warning? If you plan is to build your IM business, make sure your lady understands the financial and time commitments in advance. You don't want to get married and then have her "why are you on the computer all day? why don't get a job".
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Dan C. Rinnert 14 years ago

Originally Posted by Creative Thinker

I know what I really want but what I really want is 50/50 on both the roads.

If you know what you REALLY want, it seems you have your answer already.

And, consider the possibilities if you go 50/50. As you've described, it's not entirely feasible, because it'd be very difficult to bring her to the U.S. with you. Others have mentioned alternatives (getting MBA later, not coming to the U.S. for your MBA), but will that really satisfy you? Will you be happy with those options, or would you resent your wife for holding you back from what you really wanted? In the end, it could be that you end up with neither of what you wanted. In other words, you wouldn't have the MBA you wanted, or you wouldn't have had the experience in the U.S. you wanted, and you may be stuck in an unhappy marriage because of resentment over those things.

So, 50/50 may not be an ideal circumstance. You have to decide which you really want more, and pursue that. Then, let the other things fall as they may.

It sounds to me that your option #2 is what you really prefer. I could be wrong of course, but looking at how you went into greater detail on that option, I suspect you have more feelings for that than option #1.

The truth is, and you may not want to hear it, is that there will be other women. If the one you currently love won't or can't wait for you, there will be others. Granted, you will never feel the same way about another woman, but you will have feelings just as strong, if not stronger.

At any rate, decide which of the two you most want, and pursue it.

The best way may be to ask yourself that, if you could only choose one of the options, which is the one you would least regret not doing? Then, pursue the other.
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Alan Petersen

14 years ago

The option you should truly not follow is making personal life-changing decisions based on posts in a public forum.

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garyv

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Alan Petersen

The option you should truly not follow is making personal life-changing decisions based on posts in a public forum.

That's true....

Unless you're in the Warrior Forum, where a majority of the people here have done just that.

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KimW

14 years ago

Originally Posted by garyv

That's true....

Unless you're in the Warrior Forum, where a majority of the people here have done just that.

Not the smart ones.

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garyv

14 years ago

Originally Posted by KimW

Not the smart ones.

I guess it depends on your definition of smart. If you consider a person not smart for quitting their job and then going on to do a million dollars in sales based upon something they read here in the Warrior Forum....

Then yep I guess you're right

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KimW

14 years ago

Originally Posted by garyv

Thanks! I hear that all the time!

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AP 14 years ago

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- Leedir 14 years ago
  
  What does your heart tell you? ALWAYS follow your heart. ;]
  
  This is the best suggestion by far. You have to make the choice for yourself. If you went to the US for your MBA and lost the girl you love, you'll blame your parents and the pressure to study and get a job. You may also find that your "American dream" was not as beautiful as you thought if would be.
  
  If you married and settled in India, you will always wonder what it would have been like if you had gone abroad. You may blame your wife for keeping you tied up. And to be fair to all, its your life. Neither your parent nor your wife is going to live your life for you.
  
  You have one life, live it the way YOU want to.
  
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Kirahster 14 years ago

I think you should get your MBA. It sounds to me as if you want to.

If you don't get your MBA and things don't work out with regards to IM and money then you may forever hold it against your girl that you did not get your MBA because you wanted to say with her.
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Loren Woirhaye

14 years ago

"Love is a spell," she said, "And when you come out of it you'll
discover if you've been lucky or... not."

Lorrie Moore "The Gate At The Stairs

"I nearly cracked. I loved her as only the young can love,
and I knew I would lose her if I refused... why not, if it would
make her happy? It was only a job, after all."

Felix Dennis, "How To Get Rich"

Felix did not take the job, and the girl left him. He did
however become, by most people's standards, obscenely
rich.

Getting an MBA won't equip you to get rich as an entrepreneur,
which is, I think, the secret wish of most here on this forum.

Not that money is everything. Neither is the love of one
person. There will always be more people for you to love
and to love you in return, but you are only young once
and the choices you have a big effect on your life in the
long term.

Felix's book is (by me) highly recommended for the young
person just starting out and wanting to choose the right
career. I wish I had read it when I was your age.

Thanks

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I am in a situation just like Nicolas Cage was in the movie - The Family Man... What would u choose?

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