19 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
1. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now
he has a hole in one.

2. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can
drive a ball 400 yards.

3. Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's
still below par.

4. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the
morning? They went clubbing.

5. Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree, he couldn't
decide between a wood and an iron.

6. Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver.

7. This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards.

8. Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's
ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

9. After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nesting
behind a tree.

10. Apparently. The only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf
club is his wife.



Had to share this

kenster
  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    A good question is how much money will this mistake cost Tiger????


    TL
    Signature

    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1454961].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      Also...

      Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.

      What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They're both indanger of being clubbed by Norwegians!

      What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a bitching wedge.

      Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released? "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."

      His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.

      Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455230].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    Classic Killer Joe, I love it.

    Really stinks because he inspired so many and now who knows how bad his image will be tarnished. Not the end of the world and who cares about the money, but its a real stick in the groin to soceity when even tiger gets caught with who knows how many mistresses.

    oh well
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455516].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Austin E Anthony
    Tiger messed up big time. Young kids aspiring to be golfer look up to him.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455541].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author philstoddart
    Hey Kenster, nice jokes!

    Im a bit of a newbie on here and have asked to be put on your list for your new CPA WSO which you have done. I was wondering when it comes out? Id really like to know more about CPAs, have the time (im taking up your 100% challenge) and want to do it right now. Im hoping it can be implemented with the WSO I just bought on CL, either way Im looking forward to it.

    Cheers,

    BTW - I'm going to start playing Tiger Woods PGA tour on the Wii with the steering wheel!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455905].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Kenster
      Originally Posted by philstoddart View Post

      Hey Kenster, nice jokes!

      Im a bit of a newbie on here and have asked to be put on your list for your new CPA WSO which you have done. I was wondering when it comes out? Id really like to know more about CPAs, have the time (im taking up your 100% challenge) and want to do it right now. Im hoping it can be implemented with the WSO I just bought on CL, either way Im looking forward to it.

      Cheers,

      BTW - I'm going to start playing Tiger Woods PGA tour on the Wii with the steering wheel!


      Hey. WSO is pretty much complete but I am going on vacation in a week and want to make sure I am around should there be any download troubles or anything. Want it to go as smooth as possible. WSO is looking great though.

      And yes I have just confirmed you are on my 50% list!


      Until it comes out, go at my 100% challenge with everything you got. Learning curve is a little steep, but the benefits of IM are great! See you in the winners circle!


      kenster
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1456445].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    I think they're finding out now that he was with a Transvestite....


    TMZ is reporting that he got hit in the rear by Big Bertha with a long shaft :p
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455934].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GT
      Hey, Kenster and Killer Joe -- great Tiger jokes!

      It's too bad he got himself into this situation, but you know what? It's going to blow over and everybody will get back to "normal."

      This might even have a "bright side" for the popular golfer: up until now, he has been perceived as being an unblemished icon. Now, people see him as human, subject to the usual foibles of humanity. In other words, the pressure is off for Tiger. He no longer has to carry the weight of trying to keep a perfect image.

      However, I sincerely hope he has learned his lesson from this experience and honestly recommits his life and his loyalty to his wife and family.

      GT
      Signature

      * You Can Begin Earning Affiliate Income Here – Direct Commissions and Residual Income!
      * Home Business Resources and Affiliate Opportunities
      * Visit This Library to Expand Your Knowledge – Blog Post
      * Reinventing Your Life - Make the Rest of Your Life the BEST of Your Life!
      * Follow Me On Twitter ===> MyPowerSite <===| gtbulmer | StarrBizzcom

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1455969].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Crouching Tiger....















    Hidden Passion.
    Signature

    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1457544].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    Not sure how to embed video, but if you like Robbin Williams, this is absolutely hilarious...

    And has a part about Tiger of course




    ken
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1458877].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    Guess I do know how to embed haha
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1458880].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1461500].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      Well, now that politics has been introduced guaranteeing the demise of this thread, we might as well use this vid to bring it back...


      KJ
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1461671].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author thedogtreatjar
        Can't wait for the Obama/Tiger article to come out.. is it golf digest or what? I can't remember. Anyway - that will be chock full of great one liners that are a bizillion times funnier now.

        I have to say though, I think I really must have missed the boat on this one. Both Tiger and Kobe get my vote... I know, I know but seriously... they are under a ton of pressure. Do you think Elin would go for a bigger ring? Heard she is renegotiating the prenup so yeah.. maybe ...

        I've never been confused for a feminist, though I am often freaked out by my own empathy...

        alright... that is enough rambling. It's 1 am! I shouldn't be this tired yet!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1461910].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jgand
    I love this Tiger woods story, I can't get enough, in the end he'll be just fine, I heard he was snoring when they found him, maybe its that ambien that he's taking. It sure is entertaining though.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1467943].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John M Kane
    Man! As bizzy as he has been he'd make a bundle endorsing Enzyte or some such, eh?!
    Body count so far is up to 8 women.
    How many don't want to be known?
    Is he shooting for Wilt The Stilts record?
    per Wiki:
    "He was a lifelong bachelor, but became notorious for his claim to have had sex with 20,000 women, a statement which has entered popular culture."
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1471047].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dthbah2006
    Originally Posted by The_Slippery_Pie View Post

    Are prenups still valid in the case of infidelity? If not, then she's set.
    I think she has re-negotiated the old prenup before all of these other women came forward...what a mess...he is a hound dog for sure....
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1472156].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author thedogtreatjar
    I love the revive of this thread - hiLARious
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1626991].message }}

Trending Topics