How taboo is the other women?

Its pretty easy to accept her behavior because she's your friend. Because she is your friend, 'its ok'..and 'i can understand'...and all the other justifications that you can come up for her actions so that you dont have to call her 'homewrecker', 'slut', 'whore'...but it doesnt change what she is.

Would you be so understanding if she was banging YOUR husband behind your back?

Sorry, but i have no sympathy for people that cheat in their marriages or get involved with married people, friend or not.


And how is your friend any better than the women that got involved with woods' knowing he is a married man? They are all doing the same thing.

OK, we have entered the twilight zone! I have been agreeing with michael motley a little too much. 8-/

And this is NOT necessarily a victimless crime. It is like on House where one member has an affair and they find out because one or the other gets a disease because of it.

AND, you may cause the other to pay for a child THEY have no part of, etc.... So you can NOT remove morality out of the picture unless we get rid of it ENTIRELY! Would YOU like someone else eating all your food, drive your car, maybe kill you, etc..... If NOT, then HOW can you justify your spouse stealing food, time, and resources from your family!?!?!?

Steve

I've got a business partner that i thought was fooling around on his wife. And even though he and I are making money together and his marriage has nothing to do with me, I was just about ready to go our seperate ways.

I believe that if a person is cheating on their spouse, then why would you think that they will be honest with you? And if someone is involved with a married individual knowingly, that tells you what kind of moral character they have. They are selfishly thinking only of themselves and sooner or later there will be a time when YOU will be the person on the losing end of that person's decision process because they will always think of themselves over you.

We all have one major problem in life, we judge people based on our values and morals and not theirs.

What makes our morals and values better, more correct or more important than somebody elses? The simple answer of course is because they are ours.

This is a crazy, mixed up, muddled up world, and we need to live in it together.

I will not do what a lot of other people do, but then agian I do what a lot of people wont. However, I try not to judge somebody by what they do just because I wont do it.

Your friend may be fine with the situation, but it is easy to tell that you are not. Does your friends actions change the person she is? She is still the same person that she always was, you are just looking at her differently, based on your morals and values.

If she never told you, you would still see her as the same person.

Let me ask you this, what are your other friends up too? Do you really know what goes on with your friends when they leave you? Does it matter?

If you like this friend for who she when you are together then continue to like her. What she does behind closed doors is not important as it is her life, and she needs to live it.

As for the relationship I say only this. I have a simple belief in life, do what ever you want in life as long as you do not endager or harm (both physicaly and emotionaly) anybody else.

I don't believe in lifelong monogamy. Never did. Never will. Every relationship I've been in, I've been very up front from day one that I want an open relationship, and if you take too long to come to your senses on that front - I'll just leave you.

I think there are many people who do believe in lifelong monogamy, and they're fine with it. I don't understand that, but there are people like that out there.

And in between, I think there are a lot of people who don't believe in it, but would like to BELIEVE they do... and they make promises they can't keep. When one of them is married to someone who really does believe in lifelong monogamy, there has to be a secret "other woman" - or "other man" - for both of them to be happy. The non-monogamist needs to have someone else. The monogamist needs not to know.

There's nothing else that works. You can't tell the monogamist to be miserable knowing that the spouse is off with someone else. You can't tell the non-monogamist to be miserable staying monogamous. If you can't get the two of them to agree that they are either both monogamous or both not monogamous, the clandestine affair is all that's left.

Someone will undoubtedly speculate that my wife left me with the kids over this open relationship thing, but actually, it was about money. We'd been living with a 25 year old blonde for the past six months, and yes, that does mean what you think. The blonde stayed with me.

That is very Laveyan of you.

Unfortunately - I don't hear in this situation that the wife has any idea that this situation is going on. I'm pretty sure if that is the case then they ARE hurting someone, even if she is not yet aware -someday she will be.

If what they are doing is okay - why don't they tell his wife and let her decide how she wants to deal with it, leave or stay. This is the greatest theft and greatest usary of all. You can get money back -- you can find love again....but you never get time wasted again. SHe is being kept an unknowing slave - she puts time and effort into a fantasy instead of building a life around a foundation of truth.

That man is guilty - he is using another human being just to keep something for himself while looking to replace it. If he were worth having at all, he'd be honest with his wife and let her choose her way of life.

What would a woman want a man for that she already knows she can't trust as far as the front door? He can blame his actions on his wife all he wants, but if he will do that to one woman he will do it to others - that is his nature, obviously. He is not a man - he is stuck in the I want so I get 2 year old stage.

As far as your friend.....we make mistakes, yet she should have waken up to a mistake already. She is just as bad as this man -- use someone for her own purposes then toss them away when she is bored. It's okay who she hurts in the meantime, because she's getting her ego fix.

For me -- I've had friends pull this one before. To tell you the truth every one of them I've known has had other integrity problems, too - and most had ego problems along with them and would tear anyone a new one just to prove that they were a better woman. Those bitches get old real fast. I don't want them in my house making eyes at my guy, telling lies, or stealing things around my place - yes, many will lift stuff off you if they want it, too, as far as I've seen.

What have I seen? True story --
I had a friend who was being supported by the married man she was seeing. She got bored with him and started seeing someone else. (throw away people, to her). The whole time she's coming over bending my ear and feeling so sorry for herself. Suddenly he finds out she's sleeping with someone he doesn't want to "be there after" and stops the money train. She ends up on my couch and a few days later tries to get tight with my guy. It backfired on her when he started yelling from the other room -
this is what I heard: "You stupid slut, she gave your filthy butt a roof and you'd stab her just like you did [guys name]'s wife. You cheated on him and after all this you think I'd look twice at your twisted little a** - get the F*** out of this house - NOW, not tomorrow - NOW". Her reply - "Well exactly where am I supposed to go?" - Like either of us were still supposed to care.

From that day on when I get privvy to someone who is cheating or invading another person's relationships- male or female, I just turn and walk away. They can run their drama without me.

Caliban - monogamy isn't the point here. It's the lies that are the point - and the using of another person to fill your own wants no matter what pain it might cause them.

I know many people who have open relationships - some it works for, some it doesn't -- but the point that the truth was given so that the partner can decide whether that is a life they can or wish to have. There is nothing wrong with choosing a path that is different from those around you........honesty is justification enough in that situation.
If someone doesn't like the way you very frankly tell them you are going to live and they get hurt for staying, that's their own fault.

oh dear,

CDarklock, I am an open relationships person as well, dont waste your time on people who wish to live in fantasy land about cheating in relationships and who take a hollier than thou attitudes in relation to this.

simple fact is it happens much more often than michael or anyone else for that matter realises.

Back in my monogamous days with my 2nd girlfriend, we were inseparable, may as well have been married, we did everything together, spent all available time together and calling each other. She was very affectionate, was always there, never gave me any chick drama, no b*tchiness, was never distant, basically gave me no reason to think anything was wrong.

When I caught her, apart from realising I got played very very well, I also realised a very important life lesson:

No matter how much time you spend with a person or how much you think you know about a person, we all have our secrets and you dont really know jack about the other person.

There is no such thing as 'true' honesty in relationships, only tailored honesty.

I might also point out is has been published that women like pinching other womens men and it is also a fantasy as well, that book: My Secret Garden is very enlightening, I think the married men should read this book.

as for monogamy:

The science repeatedly tells us monogamy doesn't work.

The news repeatedly tells us monogamy doesn't work.

The statistics repeatedly tell us monogamy doesn't work.

Watching the experiences of our friends and family repeatedly tells us monogamy doesn't work.

Our own experiences repeatedly tell us monogamy doesn't work.

And yet we keep trying it, continuing to think it will work.


Also, HaySal, I think you are forgetting that many women will put up with a man they suspect of cheating as long as it is not made public and rubbed in her face.




Chris

Oh yeah. IF they choose to put up - then that is their choice.

I have been in non-exclusive relationships that didn't work -- not because of that, but because it turned out we just plain didn't care enough about each other and it wouldn't have worked on an exclusive basis either. We just wandered off to more interesting people.

I was also in a monogamous (make that monotonous) relationship that when I decided to leave was asked if we could just stay together in a non-exclusive manner. LOL - because this guy had turned into nothing but a lot of cost and work with no real benefits to myself - I fled. I wasn't leaving because he did anything dishonest. He was just all work and no fun. It wouldn't have mattered if I had all the freedom to see who I wanted - I didn't want to be with him at all and I told him so.

I don't care how people decide to live their lives .......just if they are okay living a life that is only working because they are liars, I don't want any part of them. I like to determine my paths based on truth and don't want someone around that will deal me sh** just to get what they want from me. And I think that's a very fair position to take.

I have a problem with this, as well. I compare this to Tiger Woods. What the hell did he get married for? Marriage is supposed to be sacred and you are supposed to revere your partner. If you have no plans on being faithful, don't get married. Live your single life and see as many people as you like. Marriage isn't a game. It takes hard work and sacrifice. It's pretty simple. Do unto others. You wouldn't want to be that person being hurt, now would you? Go look for a single man and stop looking where you have no right to look.

So it is okay for us to make someone live an illusion because it will allow us to have it all as we want and the hell with what happens to the other when they find out their life is a lie?

Yeah - I saw that movie, too. It was called THE MATRIX.


Sure, truth hurts, but the foundation stays steady - and finding out that we are living a lie hurts a hell of a lot worse than truth. It shakes a person's whole belief system and sense of reality.

What the hell little male Island is your brain floating on to think of this one? Maybe this idea of who has the control is why things don't work out between people. It is sheer stupidity of you to think that you know my mind the least bit no matter what you THINK you know about women -- you are thinking with your libido chum.

Do you people even start to know how to walk beside each other as partners or is it all about ownership and control of the other and what you can get to make your life comfy? That is where I walk out.....I refuse to be dominated and I will not be put in the position of being a dominator. I am very honest before going too far into a relationship about what I can and can't deal comfortably with and what I will consider the relationship over for. And I am very serious when I say it. They are warned if they can't handle that - don't go there in the first place. Yet time and time again I get caught with someone who thinks I'm going to put in 100% to every 10% of theirs and in the meantime that I will be willing to watch what they are doing. BULL HOCKEY.

If you can't trust someone to be straight with you why be with them at all? I like my life centered and a liar or a dominator just throw that off kilter. I expect a man to be able to run his own life - but when one thinks they are going to run mine they are history so fast their head spins. In the same - if they violate what I told them I will not be able to live with, they are gone. It's a real good system. Everyone knows where they stand and everyone does what they please other than what was laid on the line as an action that breaks the commitment.

I've only had one relationship break because the guy thought I was supposed to be faithful while he was free to be with who he pleased. The rest are gone because they thought that having a penis entitled them to tell me how to run my life even though I gave them the honor of never having to be pointed and laughed at for being a fool or being lied to.

You guys have got to quit speaking for what women want because every time I see your stumbling guesses at it - they are just dead out wrong delusions that come from too much testosterone and ego clogging your sense of reality.

IF you want to know what a woman wants -- ask her and then DAMNED WELL LISTEN when she tells you. If you can't handle what she says - leave.

I once had a relationship with a man that lasted until his death. We were in love and neither of us would have thought of even wanting to be with another - it just wasn't there. We shared work 50-50, we talked when we needed a compromise. We told each other the truth and worked through differences - we never transgressed on the other person's "can't live withs" and we made sure that every day we found a way to cause joy for the other. I still miss that man, never found another like him.

Oh - and one more thing...........I hear a lot of people talking about how bored they get with their mates. You know what I've found? I've found that when one person leaves the other with the majority of the work the person they leave the work to gets too tired from all the responsibility to be fun or to clean up and look sexy and feel sexy for the lazy dolt. The Lazy jerk (female or male) then starts to wander around and sees all the fresh lively faces elsewhere and decides their partner is too boring so they will go off with the person who they only have to see when they are at their best. If they leave the person they wore out and go to the other, soon enough they have to put up with the other in the whole life spectrum instead of just during their best "party and fun" times and they just end up wearing that person out too.

If you want someone to be faithful to you, if that is something you need from a relationship -- you have to put in your 50% of the not fun stuff in life so the other won't be towed under into numb apathy by you using them to keep your life fun and exciting and free of your responsibilities.

Jesus people - you all sound like two year olds - gimmee gimmmeee gimmee with no idea of what joy sharing can be when you share with someone who you can honestly love to the exclusion of everyone else.

I feel sorry for you - you think you're having a great life? You have no idea in heck what you have missed.

Heysal, that sounds really nice, but in the real world, you cant have two captains of the same boat, two generals of the same army or two chefs in the same kitchen. Someone leads, someone follows or its not going to work.

That whole idea of 'walking side by side' sounds really sweet on a hallmark card, but side by side you can't go through a door.

And you cant ask a woman what she wants and get a straight answer because even a woman doesnt know what a woman wants.

Just throwing this out there.

NOTHING has been said about the relationship the cheating husband has with his wife, but a lot of assumptions have been made.

Maybe she knows about what's going on, and maybe she has from the beginning.
Maybe she's OK with it.
Maybe their marriage is empty and emotionally dead.
Maybe she's cheating too, and maybe she has a history of doing so.
Maybe she's abusive, either verbally or physically.
Maybe she encouraged it in order to add some spice to their marriage.
There are a hundred possible scenarios.

I'm not coming down on either side of the fence here, because there just isn't enough information to make a fair and educated decision about who's wrong, or who's hurting who, or anything else. I do find it interesting how quick people are to jump to conclusions, though.

All I can say to all this crap about MEN deciding what is good for women or what women are like or what they want is that if you can find women who will put up with your horse manure than bully for you (or maybe bully describes you). Have fun destroying each other. Have fun never finding a real bond.

With your bizarre notions of a relationship having to have a controller, it is not hard to figure why things might fail for you in finding a really awesome partner, er, no that isn't the right word....um......slave, yes that it the right one.
Tim - why do I see behind this a couple who stays together because, and only because, they are ecstatically happy to be with each other? I had that for 10 years and life together was the most incredible adventure -- every day. My parents had that and didn't just love each other but were IN love with each other for 38 years. A light went out of my father's eyes the day she died that I have only see a flicker of since - and that is since he met his present wife. To be with someone because you can't imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else is such a rare gift - and it takes a lot of letting go of our selfish desire to dominate to get it. Most never even come close to finding it. I see a lot of that going on in this thread.

I am so glad for you that you have found such a partner. I know you understand why, for now, I prefer to be single. Some day, when I find someone who can step without stepping on, I will be a partner again. Until then, I am fine on my own - don't need someone else just to have an identity.

No matter what else goes on in your life Tim - you have been blessed with a rare and enlightened gift. Good on you, guy!

And in a true partnership - those matters will fall into place. Leading is not always dominance, following not always subservience. Sometimes the path narrows and one will have to walk in front of the other. But to either lead or follow because it is "your place" doesn't allow for a partnership just as the predisposition that all people cheat or that women want [this] does not.

I said most feminine women expect the guy to LEAD, not be a TYRANT.

Some of the assumptions made on this thread are astonishing. There's a lot of black and white here, with little mention of any shades of grey. 'Women do this constantly...' is particularly breathtaking. I can honestly say that I've never asked a man to kill a spider either, I just pick up creepies and put them somewhere out of harm's way. The spiders, not the men.

Infidelity has had a big impact on me and mine. My dad was twenty seven years older than my mum. I loved him madly and worshipped the ground he walked on, and thought my mum did too. That is, until she ran off with my first husband just after we buried my dad. They'd been having an affair for two years, having redefined the concept of a 'close' family.

It was a painful time, and one that's left me unlikely to trust anyone ever again, but even then I could see what had led up to it. My mum had been fostered by a series of unsuitable 'carers' right from being a baby, the kind that punished toddlers just for wetting the bed, was even sexually abused by one 'uncle' and still has a couple of cigarette burn scars on her arm that were inflicted on her as a child. She met my dad in a pub when she was nineteen and moved in with him the same night. He was not of the same generation as her though and it showed, and there was none of the socialising and other stuff that women her own age did. I think she's spent her entire life looking for affection and approval, often in the most inappropriate of places. Don't get me wrong though, just because I can understand to some extent what made her the way she is does not mean we have not had some very bitter rows over events in the past and I've called her a lot worse than some of the names brought up here, but I still do not feel that anyone else is entitled to call her a 'slut' or a 'whore' because of what she has done when they don't even know her.

My ex husband (who you can all feel free to call an a$$hole - form an orderly queue) was a violent man, who hit women because his father did. His mother had had enough when my ex was ten, and bailed out to live with another woman. I think he'd been looking for a mother-figure ever since, and chose mine. Because of his tendency to use his fists to make a point, I often used to wish my ex would run off with someone else. It's experiences such as this that teach you the truth in the saying 'be careful what you wish for...'

Eighteen years on and they're still together. It makes for some awkward times, but I speak to my mum fairly often now, the last time about seven hours ago when she rang to tell me that my younger sister has been carted off to hospital with swine flu and she'd call me as soon as there was any news, which is why I am sitting here rambling on at 5.30 in the morning. I don't regret my first marriage - I got the two most wonderful and amazing sons out of it, and just for that would do it again.

Yes, I have been on the wrong end of infidelity, and no, being lied to isn't pretty. But I would still stop short of making a blanket judgement on the places people are in if I had no idea of the path that had taken them there.

I really am going on a bit, aren't I? Merry Christmas to all of you, whichever side of the issue your views lay. Have a good one

Diana,

please don't take this the wrong way, but intentionally marrying a abusive person, then stating that you would go through that all over again to get pregnant again, most people will agree you need counseling.

Hey Exrat,

It was an example. Most of these things are a little more subtle such as when women ask "does this make my ass look fat" I here that constantly from women of all ages and similar crap about their makeup and their dresses etc. So I beg to differ on them snapping out of this kind of stuff.

Hey seasoned,

The feminists are probable the most insecure group of women I have ever met. First they were pro sex, and then they turned anti-sex last time I read, or have they changed their minds again?

Germaine Greer got it the wrong way around as to who the female eunuchs were.


Merry xmas to you all

exrat,

correct me if I am wrong, but people dont go sudenly from loving tending caring partner to waking up one morning out of the blue and start abusing and being violent to the other partner.

I am not sure where you get the idea I hate women from, if you are drawing that from my posts then you obviously haven't realized that subtlety and sugar coating are not a strong suit of mine and I prefer to just get straight to the point and can be very blunt and come across in way the wrong manner. something I am trying to work on fixing.

as for that PUA crap(love systems?) I have read it and frankly what those people are teaching guys to do violates basic human social dynamics. If I remember correctly, they tell guys to go out, talk about themselves non stop(not very good when trying to befriend people) and make up stories that sub communicate how much everyone likes them etc. I think they also tell them to go around trying to read womens palms as well.

The real genius of the marketing they use is that they tell guys to have 'routines' (act like a dancing monkey basicly) and when they don't 'get the girl' they say it is something wrong with the routine when it is actually something wrong with them themselves in how they are coming across.

the effect being when they keep getting rejected, they blame the routine instead of themselves, gradually becoming more frustrated, they turn back to these people who magically have another product which will help them become the ultimate player or whatever.

My age is irrelevant.


getting back to marrying abusive partners...


My aunt is the same, traumatic experience with her father(the primary male figure of her life, whom even you cant deny the numerous relationship studies and from personal experience(I would imagine) the importance of women having good relationship with their fathers as it affects how they relate to other men in their lives, or am I speaking for every1 again?)

She has low self esteem and trust issues and married a guy who she knew was abusive, and yes I know she knew he was, because women who have the above mentioned characteristics typically have the unfortunate disposition of mistaking abusive behaviour from their partner as a sign of a self confident male trustworthy male.

I could go into a psychoanalysis of people who have low self esteem and lack the basic levels of trust but that would take forever.

Refer to the above.

Are you saying that intentionally marrying an abusive person is normal?



Chris

i think i want to start a maleist organization.

My point about the feminists was an observation.

In the sexual revolution, the feminists were all free love and want not, they were even pro pornography at the time as well. Then they decided for whatever political reason to turn against it (dehumanizes women) even though they happily supported it in the beginning and their changing stances on love and relationships.

There was a study that was published not too long ago about the differences in the way men and women communicate, and it was conducted by a feminist psychiatrist. Now the results of this study weren't exactly a shock, women using more expressive language and men sticking to raw data and facts, women liking to talk etc. And why there weren't more women in jobs that would typically be associated with men etc.

Now quite alot of die hard feminists didn't like this at all because they felt it promoted stereotypes, and all they seemed to be able to do was make personal attacks towards the author, yet they never refuted the findings. This is what I meant when I said they were insecure. They seem to be afraid of their femininity and try to act like men instead.

The free love stuff obviously not the best example to use.

Now as for the entitlement belief, you are never in a relationship with a woman until you are sleeping together, until that time you are just a source of attention. and besides, good sex = happy relationship, tested and proved time and time again.

I do not believe that men and women can coexist on a platonic level at all with the exception of course of your family(incest is wrong) . Heck, the only reason you approached that cute girl over the other girl back when you were in school was because you wanted to have sex with her because you found her attractive over the other. And likewise every other attractive woman you have approached or offered to 'help'

In response the the alimony stuff, I know divorce rates have been discussed already, but if you take an even more in depth study, you may notice that the countries with the highest rates, US, Aus, scandinavia etc, feminism is rampant, this equal relationship fantasy. Yet in the cultures where the family structuring was majority patriarchal than matriarchal, the divorce rates are almost non-existant, places such as India etc.

Interestingly enough, you have to compensate your partner for giving up her job etc for carrying your children and raising them, yet when it is dad that becomes mum instead and the woman the bread winner, if she ditches you, which happens alarmingly often in these arrangements, google house husbands wives divorcing them, she still gets the kids and you have to support her now even though you were the one that gave up your career instead and raised the children.

Which is why I do not agree with alimony/spousal support especially as very few if any single fathers receive support from the mother.


And to Diana,

I do oppologise for my counseling comment, I realize it was uncalled for and unfair. I truly am sorry to here about your parents and experience with your husband and likewise it is not my place to make any judgments about who you are as a person either. I will never truely understand at an emotional level how some women will put up with being abused repeatedly, even if for the childrens sake and why they dont just run.


Sincerely

Chris

I didn't mention that when all the above blew up I was living fifteen doors up the road from my mother, with the result that I inadvertently helped to provide the entire street with gossip for about a year and so am unlikely to be too bothered if someone reads what I wrote last night and thinks we've brought the crackers out early, but I suppose the 'counselling' comment deserves a response.

I had no idea my ex was a demented, fist-happy control freak when I married him. We were far too busy being at it like rabbits at first for the cracks to show. To put it frankly, it was good sex. Very good sex. Naturally, I'd dispute the claim that 'good sex = happy relationship, tested and proved time and time again'. It's been disproven too, if only by me, but I suspect I'm far from being the only one.

The only reason I stayed as long as I did was because he said he'd hurt my dad if I left. As already mentioned, my parents were living very close by and my dad was in his seventies at the time. Of course I believed him - he'd already demonstrated a fondness for taking on people who'd have a harder time fighting back, but I always knew that once my dad was gone then I'd be out of there. There's more to it than that (isn't there always) but I have rambled on for as long as I'm going to. The middle of both ends of it is that I did not intentionally enter into an abusive marriage, I just made the wrong choice. If that merits counselling then I think I'll give it a miss - the poor overworked therapists must be busy enough with the millions of other people who have done the same thing.

To say I'd do it again is not to say that I wouldn't do it differently, and with a pair of industrial strength b*ll*ck crushers. Those that said it was just a normal maternal expression of the love a mother has for her kids were right. Anyone who saw anything else was just doing what I seem to be doing - reading the thread upside down. I'm sure we were talking about infidelity and don't know why the subject has become domestic abuse, rampant feminism and an unnaturally large sector of the female population somewhere who are desperate for the male view on how big their arses are. The 'Off Topic' forum certainly knows how to live up to it's name

Hmmm.

I have been married for 4 yrs. in that time I have had women come on to me sometimes very strongly.using words that are not really repeatable here.

the definition of integrity is that you are the same in private as you are in public a person of uncompromising moral character. Understandably this will not be received very well but that is not my issue.

For a man to be in a marriage and a woman as well there needs to be compromise respect and yes sexual fulfillment. only thing is if your not being satisfied then it is up to you to communicate to your spouse so they can improve if there is a problem. see when one gets married that means the cookie jar is now closed menus are no longer ordered from and the kitchen is not serving anymore.

To take your own words and run them into the ground because you feel you are missing something is just screwy. Till death do us part is exactly that sex is a coming together of man and woman and so there is also a big bond called a soul tie. now why would you compromise yourself or your partner to begin with.

Marriage is a gift but it is like business it requires work perseverance dedication and compromise I could have cheated on my wife lots did I ...NOT EVER why? because I love my wife and myself and value her as a person and my partner. there is no excuse for cheating there is no excuse for justifying it there is no excuse for instant gratificationcheating is in one word -WRONG!
I know some of you are saying it is ok not to respect yourself and or your partner if you need to get off then it is ok to step out and you shouldn't say because you will just hurt their feelings.-What??. how whacky is that?
-WD

I'm not sure how taboo anything is at this point, I think we've all seen it all on the news. Look at all the women admitting to sleeping with tiger woods, its getting less and less surprising. I think its par for the course nowadays.

From what I've read, some people practice an alternative lifestyle called swinging - physical relationship, no strings attached - a sort of 'friends with benefits' thing.