Why Are People Compelled To Be Nasty?

[Steven Wagenheim]

I started a thread in the copywriter's forum basically introducing myself
and thanking everybody for the warm welcome.

One guy makes a snide remark asking why I had to make a post saying I'd
be reading that part of the forum.

This is one of 10 thousand examples I can give you of people who just have
to go out of their way to be nasty.

Why do people do this?

If we have any trained psychiatrists here, I'd love to know what it is
that makes people have to be nasty to others over every little thing?

[successfulmom]

This bothers me as well!
I am sure it is because they lack happiness and are not content with their lives.

I go out of my way to be nice to people because I am generally just a happy and kind person.

I cannot see any other reason why some people feel the need to be rude and nasty.

[Aronya]

I'm not a trained psychiatrist... but I might have slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

There are a lot of unhappy people in the world who don't even know that they're unhappy, IMHO. They like to snipe at other people because they get a chuckle out of it. Eventually, the activity becomes habit, then 2nd nature. It probably even stops giving them any entertainment, but they have no awareness of what they are doing, and so can have no motivation to change. And so they snipe. Also, the anonymity of the Internet helps to give many people a sense of safety and power, so they may feel more free to say whatever they want.

Just my 2cts.
My bill will be in the mail shortly.

[MissTerraK]

while I'm not a trained psychiatrist, I did take some psycology classes in college, and just based upon what I learned there, I would have to say,

1.) They are very insecure with themselves thereby picking on you to appear bigger in others sight

2.) They are jealous and feel threatened by you

There's my 2 cents worth, however, I'm giving it to you pro-bono!

MissTerraK

[Bill Farnham]

Steve,

After reading his response it looks like one of those times that the comment could go either way.

Sort of a rhetorical question, snide to a degree, but adding a few smiles wouldn't have hurt if he was just yanking your chain.

Do yourself a favor and give him the benfit of the doubt in this case and get on with enjoying the rest of the evening as your happy self...

KJ

[Steven Wagenheim]

Originally Posted by Killer Joe

Steve,

After reading his response it looks like one of those times that the comment could go either way.

Sort of a rhetorical question, snide to a degree, but adding a few smiles wouldn't have hurt if he was just yanking your chain.

Do yourself a favor and give him the benfit of the doubt in this case and get on with enjoying the rest of the evening as your happy self...

KJ

Bill, I get what you're saying, but some of the ones I have run into today
have been just flat out...well...nasty. And I guess as they pile up, you
become less and less tolerant of them.

[KimW]

I don't do pro bono and I don't send bills, Paypal me and you will have your answer toot-sweet!

PS: I'm not a psychologist either, but I can tell you about Pavlov's dog and Maslow's
Hierarchy Of Needs.




Oh what the heck, read it yourselves!

OEG Resource - Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

[MissTerraK]

Originally Posted by KimW

I don't do pro bono and I don't send bills, Paypal me and you will have your answer toot-sweet!

PS: I'm not a psychologist either, but I can tell you about Pavlov's dog and Maslow's
Hierarchy Of Needs.




Oh what the heck, read it yourselves!

OEG Resource - Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

LOL! You crack me up! See why nobody could ever forget you!

MissTerraK

[KimW]

Your right, you gotta love me!
Well, my mother, my wife and my kids do,the rest of you just have to tolerate me!

[Steven Wagenheim]

Originally Posted by KimW

I don't do pro bono and I don't send bills, Paypal me and you will have your answer toot-sweet!

PS: I'm not a psychologist either, but I can tell you about Pavlov's dog and Maslow's
Hierarchy Of Needs.




Oh what the heck, read it yourselves!

OEG Resource - Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Thanks Kim. I just have 1 level to go.

I wonder how long it will take me to get there?

[Karen Blundell]

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

2.) They are jealous and feel threatened by you


MissTerraK

bingo!
she's right, Steven. I'm willing to bet there are many people jealous of you. Because you are multi-talented, and they barely got talent in their right pinkie, you know?

But what the fluck do you care what they think, Steven, really?
just keep being you...

[Shane Dolby]

People tend to not be themselves online because they believe they can be something they really want to be in real life but dont have the balls to do it. Online they can and not get the **** kicked out of them.

In real life they feel insignificant and probably got beat up or made fun of most of their lives.

Its the hide behind the keyboard syndrome!

[KimW]

Shane,
I grew up in OKC, did you used to beat me up?

[Michael Motley]

Originally Posted by Shane Dolby

People tend to not be themselves online because they believe they can be something they really want to be in real life but dont have the balls to do it. Online they can and not get the **** kicked out of them.

In real life they feel insignificant and probably got beat up or made fun of most of their lives.

Its the hide behind the keyboard syndrome!

many in the IM field can relate as many a 'guru' isnt really a guru at all, but instead someone who basically plays 'rich' on the internet because in real life, they know they are where they are at and not going anywhere else.

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Why do people do this?

Probably because it's easy to be a prick from the safety and anonymity a computer screen. People will say things to and about people online that would get them a fat lip out in the real world.

That said, I've always found the majority of people I've encountered online to be perfectly nice, civil, and polite. In general, they drown-out the arseholes.

But, if sensitive to such things, perhaps one way to deal with it is not to equate the people you encounter online with those you encounter in the real world. The Internet might be a big part of modern society but, as a means of communication, it's still very much divorced from the "real world". On a forum like this, for example, you can't see or hear the person you're communicating with. You can't read their body language, or hear the tone of what they're saying.

Unless you actually meet the people you're communicating with in person (or even on the phone), then the 'old' saying about how on the web, people don't know you're a dog still applies. For all you know, I could be a 96-year-old granny sitting in my little apartment with my 26 cats... or a 14-year-old spotty-faced teenager sitting in my parents basement... or a bored office worker sitting in a cramped cublicle... or a 30-something psychpathic serial killer looking for my next victim. Heck, I could even be some amazing artificial intelligence pretending to be a real person.

In short, I could be anyone and, for that reason, might as well be noone at all.

Not even real.

So why let something someone (who might not even be a real person) types onto a screen bother you in any way at all?

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by Thomas

The Internet might be a big part of modern society but, as a means of communication, it's very much divorced from the "real world". On a Forum like this, for example, you can't see or hear the person you're communicating with. You can't read their body language, or hear the tone of what they're saying.

Unless you actually meet the people you're communicating with in person (or even on the phone), then the 'old' saying about how on the web, people don't know you're a dog still applies. For all you know, I could be a 96-year-old granny sitting in my little apartment with my 26 cats... or a 14-year-old spotty-faced teenager sitting in my parents basement... or a bored office worker sitting in a cramped cublicle... or a 30-something psychpathic serial killer looking for my next victim. Heck, I could even be some amazing artificial intelligence pretending to be a real person.

In short, I could be anyone and, for that reason, might as well be noone at all.

Not even real.

So why let something someone (who might not even be a real person) types onto a screen bother you in any way at all?

I just re-read that. (I really do go on sometimes! ). It kinda sounds like I was the one being a prick. I wasn't. (Honest!)

[Steven Wagenheim]

Originally Posted by Thomas

I just re-read that. (I really do go on sometimes! ). It kinds sounds like I was the one being a prick. I wasn't. (Honest!)

Thomas, what you said actually made a lot of sense.

Thank you.

[WD Mino]

Steven,

when you have come from nothing to 6 figures and write your own copy that brings it . I would venture to say some people can't stand that so in order to make themselves appear a little more valuable they belittle the one who actually has done what they could not.

People by nature are competetive if someone is picking on you think to yourself well I learned and accelerated so that is gonna piss some people off but who cares I am a respected member of this community and that is good enough for me . then forget about it.

Much love and respect
-WD

[Ken Strong]

Originally Posted by Thomas

In short, I could be anyone and, for that reason, might as well be noone at all. Not even real.

Ahh... that explains a lot.

[Shane Dolby]

Originally Posted by KimW

Shane,
I grew up in OKC, did you used to beat me up?

HAHA no i just moved here a few years ago

Shane

[HeySal]

Originally Posted by KenStrong

Ahh... that explains a lot.

Excuse me, Ken, if this sounds a bit rude, but you can be such a tool sometimes.

[Emily Meeks]

I found said thread (won't link to it here) and yes - it was uncalled for.

Some people are just jerks. Whatever. I won't be buying.

[ReneeArticles]

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

I started a thread in the copywriter's forum basically introducing myself
and thanking everybody for the warm welcome.

One guy makes a snide remark asking why I had to make a post saying I'd
be reading that part of the forum.

This is one of 10 thousand examples I can give you of people who just have
to go out of their way to be nasty.

Why do people do this?

If we have any trained psychiatrists here, I'd love to know what it is
that makes people have to be nasty to others over every little thing?

Many people are compelled to be nasty out of envy and jealousy. Maybe you've got something they covet

Renee

[n1c3m4n]

so do i... it's actually like that

[whateverpedia]

Originally Posted by KimW

PS: I'm not a psychologist either, but I can tell you about Pavlov's dog and Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs.

I've never heard of Maslow, however I am familiar with Pavlov's Dog.

YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.

YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.

[Aitor Astobieta]

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own . . . how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”

William Allen White

[Mark McClure]

Steven - I saw that thread.

Mostly harmless banter.

But who was the rabbit and who was the croc?

Articles

[tryinhere]

On-line and off-line there will always be a time where people will be quick to judge or be nasty, it's best to forgive, forget and move on as it only wastes mental energy and focus.

[Karen Blundell]

Originally Posted by Aitor Astobieta

Yes, there are good people in this world,
but they are in the minority.

wrong! Think about this: for every 1 person who's a war-monger, there are at least 10,000 people holding candles for peace. The problem is goodness doesn't sell. So we very rarely hear about good people, good news, etc. We are bombarded by bad news, evil crime reporting, wars, just general nastiness.
But if you turn off the news and look around...I mean really look...you'll see people holding hands, kissing, cuddling their children, petting their pets...There is love in abundance! There is way more good is this world and that is worth holding on to. I have a lot of hope for this world. I really do.

[Michael Motley]

There is love in abundance with most people, however the ones with hate in their hearts have much more effective tools to spread their hate than others do to spread their love.

[Radix]

some people don't have a dog, but almost everyone has the internets.

[lcombs]

Human behavior has a field of study since time began.

Bottom line. Some people are just A-holes.

A waste of time trying to analyze it. Accept it, forget them, and move on.
Their negativity will eat them alive. Don't let it affect you.

I remember when John Lennon was shot.
A guy I was working with at the time and I were discussing it.
I said I couldn't remember the shooters name. He said, "I don't want to know it. That's what he wants."

[Karen Blundell]

Originally Posted by Michael Motley

There is love in abundance with most people, however the ones with hate in their hearts have much more effective tools to spread their hate than others do to spread their love.

Michael...It must be terribly depressing for you to think that way. But I'll let you focus on the negative, while I focus on the positive.
I see life completely different from you, which is why I am happy despite the fact that I am not financially wealthy yet.

[Michael Motley]

Originally Posted by Karen Blundell

Michael...It must be terribly depressing for you to think that way. But I'll let you focus on the negative, while I focus on the positive.
I see life completely different from you, which is why I am happy despite the fact that I am not financially wealthy yet.

I dont really know what this response has to do with my post..but ok.

[David Maschke]

I doubt he knows you take your relationships with other warriors very seriously. I think also that it wasn't anything against you personally, he was ready to lash out at anyone "famous"

[lilmechante01]

Originally Posted by Shane Dolby

People tend to not be themselves online because they believe they can be something they really want to be in real life but dont have the balls to do it. Online they can and not get the **** kicked out of them.

In real life they feel insignificant and probably got beat up or made fun of most of their lives.

Its the hide behind the keyboard syndrome!

Online does give people a sense of anonymity. Anyone can pretend to be anyone they choose...and sometimes who they choose to be online doesn't demonstrate their most positive aspects.

This also occurs offline -public face vs. private face.

An interesting book that provides a lot of insight into this is "The Shadow Effect" by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson. I know reading it has helped me see things not only about myself, but others as well in a different light.

I'm not a psychologist, but maybe a few quotes from Carl Jung might provide useful here:

• A man who is unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way and is in addition fooled by all the illusions that arise when he sees everything that he is not conscious of in himself coming to meet him from outside as projections upon his neighbour.

• Just as we tend to assume that the world is as we see it, we naively suppose that people are as we imagine them to be. In this latter case, unfortunately, there is no scientific test that would prove the discrepancy between perception and reality. Although the possibility of gross deception is infinitely greater here than in our perception of the physical world, we still go on naively projecting our own psychology into our fellow human beings. In this way everyone creates for himself a series of more or less imaginary relationships based essentially on projection.

• The change of character brought about by the uprush of collective forces is amazing. A gentle and reasonable being can be transformed into a maniac or a savage beast. One is always inclined to lay the blame on external circumstances, but nothing could explode in us if it had not been there. As a matter of fact, we are constantly living on the edge of a volcano, and there is, so far as we know, no way of protecting ourselves from a possible outburst that will destroy everybody within reach. It is certainly a good thing to preach reason and common sense, but what if you have a lunatic asylum for an audience or a crowd in a collective frenzy? There is not much difference between them because the madman and the mob are both moved by impersonal, overwhelming forces.

Namaste,
BJ