Do You Have A Child With Behavior Issues?

I've raised three children with behavioral issues so I could probably offer some good advice and a shoulder when needed. My oldest has Asperger's, my middle has ADHD and my youngest has alphabet soup (been diagnosed alternately with ADHD, ODD, PTSD, anxiety disorder and finally, bipolar disorder).

I didn't post at your blog since I'm doing it here...lol.

Tina

Thanks Tina, I find it difficult having one child with behavior issues, I don't know how I'd cope if all 3 of mine did. I admire those mothers who do it, I know it isn't easy.

Hey, I have a close friend that is in the same place as you her son has behavioural issue she just taken him to be diagnosis. She think he might have ADHD if so, she is thinking of taken him out of school and putting him into another school to get that extra one to one support. I know it can be tough but this is the time to keep your sprite up high. I think it is a very good idea that you might be setting up a forum on children with behaviour issues as many parents are still unaware of this. Trust me you will be bringing allot of awareness out there for others.

Hello,
I have two boys 15 and 18 they just do not get along.
The older boy has many issues with Aspergers Syndrome but is very high functional when it comes to computers.
My younger boy does not have any tolerance for him at all.
It comes to the point where I can not handle them both at the same time.
My wife does better with the both of them together.
Lou

I know how you feel Lou, my oldest 2 boys just don't get on at all, they fight constantly. There is only so much that you can take and then it gets to the stage that you just can't take it anymore. But you have to just keep going and deal with it somehow.

Wow. I have so much respect for you guys that have to live with this situation. My son had 'normal' brat behavior and I couldn't even handle that. He is grown now and I wish I hadn't been so young and had done more to help him. It was a battle of wills is all I can say. He is still punishing me now but we have our good moments.

One of my younger sisters adopted a child from Russia and he looked normal and bright in the videos - he was 18 months old when she went and got him. Turns out he has brain damage from his birth mother shooting heroin while pregnant.

He has serious developmental disabilities (2 years behind) and a speech impediment due to being deaf (but wears hearing aids). The worst part is he has violent impulses and will just suddenly stand up at the dinner table and start stabbing my sister's husband with his fork - stuff like that.

He has been kicked out of even special ed daycare several times and has cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars. ($50,000 to adopt him). He has really wrecked her life, but she loves him just like he was her own.

The very worst thing though is she will fight to the death to keep from institutionalizing him, but I don't see how there will be any alternative especially if he ever really hurts somebody. That will push her over the edge because she has been on her last nerve for years.

It's really sad and he is a cute little guy (around 12 now) He lives 'the life of Capitalist Riley' and they visit Disney World at least once every year for 2 weeks at a shot.

That is really sad and to spend that much money adopting a child and to be given one that is brain damaged (I'm assuming she didn't know that when she adopted him). Having violent outbursts is a worry, especially as he is getting older.

My son gets very angry and can get quite violent during one of his rages but he has never stabbed anyone or done anything like that. I worry with him that the older he gets the harder it will be to control him and I can't even control him now. He's only 10 but he is almost as tall as me so I worry what he'll be like when he's bigger than me.

I hope your sister doesn't have to put him in an institution, I would hate to have to make a decision like that.

Thanks Sheryl.

She was guaranteed he was normal and it took quite a while to realize there was something wrong with him. At first they figured it was just being in an orphanage for 18 months - but then as they did more checking they discovered one thing after another was wrong with him.

I hate to say it because in most cases I don't believe in drugs especially for children- but that may be the only way to control the violence, etc.

I really hope that maybe your son will just grow out of it - that can happen, can't it?

I have had doctors suggest drugs but so far have said no, I don't like to give drugs unless there is absolutely no other choice, but you're right if the violence gets too out of control then drugs might be the answer.

I can only hope my son grows out of his tantrums at least - although we've been hoping that for 6 years, at first we just thought it was a stage he was going through and he'd grow out of it.

We'll keep on trying different things though and hope that something works.

Sheryl,
I would love to join your group, with my 2 boys being on the spectrum and then my youngest daughter having behavioural issues as a result of having surgery last year, I know how fun high needs and special needs children can be. I love all 5 kids to death, but there are some days I feel like I could just explode.

Sylvia

I have a 4 year old son who has autism. I know how difficult it can be raising children with special needs. What keeps my wife and I sane is the fact that we live in one of the best school districts in the country sy boy gets to work one on one with special teachers 4 days a week. I see my son getting better, but he does have his issues. We were also fortunate to discover this at an early age. I would love to join your group as well. Kudos to you for posting this.

Thanks Money2k and Sylvia, I would love to have you as part of my forum. You've always inspired me as a mother Sylvia so it would be great to have you on board.
Money2k, if that is your son in your profile pic - he is very cute

Sorry guys, for anyone that did try to leave a comment on my blog. I just had someone email me to say they couldn't leave one because they couldn't log in. I didn't realise I had my settings set for having to be logged in to leave a comment. I've had comments left in the past so not sure what happened there.

It's fixed up now anyway so I just wanted to apologize if anyone had tried to leave a comment

none of this stuf was known about 30+ years ago no every naughty child has some kind of syndrome....

This is my 8 year old autistic daughter having a nasty tantrum a few weeks ago. It was obvious that these were extremely dangerous as she could have broken her neck. They really did look like "demonic possession". She got threatened with expulsion / suspension from her speical school after a member of staff was injured whilst helping her. It looked as if she was trying to shake something off. At one point, my mother wanted her to see a priest with a view to exorcism.


It is possible that the worse has past and the matter is being resolved. It may well have been caused by side effects of risperidone, the very drug that is supposed to prevent tantrums. It is early days yet but I hope to report back later. The past few weeks had been terrible for my wife and I. If her problems are sorted out, a lot of credit would be due to warriors who have given helpful suggestions and support to me earlier.

Derek

dont have them .

Derek, that is sad to watch your daughter. I can relate to that, my son has some real bad tantrums. Sometimes he punches walls (we have a few holes in our walls) or windows (we've had a couple of those broken during tantrums). Sometimes he will just sit and hit himself in the head over and over.

It is awful to watch and really has mixed feelings sometimes. Sometimes I am just angry at him for doing it and at the same time I just want to hug him and make it all better.


Michael - I also agree that drugs are not the answer to the problem. My son is not on medication even though doctors have suggested it, I hope I wont have to put him on medication although when his violence is really bad I sometimes wonder whether I should.

I have heard fish oil can help and I should give that a go. I've tried changing diets, but it gets really hard to stick to at times. Gluten I know is one big issue with many kids too and I believe wheat is so genetically modified these days that it is full of crap (couldn't think of a better word).

My sister has celiac disease and I carry the gene for it, so this is one thing that I am considering having my son tested for as I know if he is eating food he's intolerant to then that can also affect his behavior.

Dave, since my last thread in August, Kristi got put on increasingly amounts of rispirdone but her tantrums got worse and worse. Besides threatening to expel her, her school threatened to call an ambulance without our approval.

Things got to a head a few weeks ago when she had these horriffic tantrums that appeared suddenly for no reason with self injury behaviour. That is when we decided to seek a second psychiatric opinion. That psychiatrist cut the dose of risperidone from 2mg to 1mg per day. After one week, we saw a tremendous improvement in Kristi, as tantrums almost disappeared to be replaced by hyperactivity. However, things got bad during these last few days but there may be an explanation for it as one of her tooth fell out.

Anyway, I am now completely committed to reducing risperidone to zero. A lot of credit and thanks would be to you and the other warriors who contributed to that thread. It is through Donna that I knew that other drugs were available. Pat (Patrician) 's comment about excluding other medical causes was also particularly important since we decided to carry out another EEG that gave an equivocal result. However, that was important as it gave us cover to reduce risperidone.

Sheryl. After my experience, I would agree that drugs are not the real answer to the problem and may make things much worse. This is especially so in children who cannot express themselves. Since I am a qualified doctor myself, I am really angry with myself of not having spoken out about my suspicions earlier. One of the reasons was that risperidone was the only drug approved by the FDA for autism.

One extremely important aspect is the school your child goes to. Some schools are much more tolerant than others. In our case, I think the school made matters worse althougy they did not mean any harm. That is why we have decided to change her school.


Derek

Been diagnosed with add myself when I was younger... Some people used to call me a genius, some people said I was an annoying little f*ck who didn't listen and didn't pay attention to anything.. I am 26 now and after going through a roller coaster ride during my teenage years i can say that I actually did very well, and the only people to thank for this are my parents who always supported me and pushed me into the right directions.. So no matter what, be there for your son/daughter no matter what other people might say.