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One of my Dads old business sayings

by Magpieguy
6 replies
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My old man was in business and still hits me with his old sayings. How true they were/are and they can be applied to the internet too.

For starters...'If you can't smile don't keep a corner shop'.

I suppose you could apply this to video marketing....if you you sad and miserable who will buy your product, or listen any longer for that matter!!
  • Profile picture of the author ThomM
    Originally Posted by Nathan Segal View Post

    My father was fond of some really stupid jokes. Here's one:

    Q. What's the difference between a duck?

    A. One of its legs is both the same.

    Yeh, I didn't get it either. Still don't.
    That's ok Nat.
    My father grew up in a German speaking house.
    The only German he taught me as a kid was how to say "like a goose on two legs, but not as wobbly".
    Makes as much sense as your dads duck joke
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    Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
    Getting old ain't for sissy's
    As you are I was, as I am you will be
    You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Originally Posted by Nathan Segal View Post

    Here's another saying (which I like considerably better):

    "No matter how you slice it, a pigs' *ss is pork!"
    We used to have a neighbor with little patience for dumb questions with obvious answers...

    I.E., you hit your thumb with a hammer, and someone asks if it hurts.

    His answer would have been "is a duck's ass water tight?"
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    • Profile picture of the author Magpieguy
      Good banter fellas, yes a ducks ass is water tight....well it was last time i looked
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by Magpieguy View Post

        Good banter fellas, yes a ducks ass is water tight....well it was last time i looked
        I don't even want to know why you were looking that close... :confused:
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    I've always been fond of this one, from the 13th season of Doctor Who as the Doctor was emerging from unconsciousness:

    "If the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides... then why is a mouse when it spins?"

    Ask somebody "smart" that question sometime, and watch their brain come to a screeching halt.

    Personally, when people ask me questions like this, I just say "Shoe polish." Once you've conditioned yourself to give a specific answer when a question makes no rational sense, your brain will do it automatically, and it looks like you somehow made sense of the question and gave a real answer.

    The human brain is an amazingly fun toy.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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