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The Nod

by Michael Motley
25 replies
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I've noticed something, and i think this is a male thing only..i dont really see females doing this...

The Dude Nod.

When two guys pass each other...there is 'the dude nod'. Its either a nod down..which seems to be a more respectable nod, almost something like tipping your hat back in the day. Sort of an unsaid 'hello sir'.

Then there's the up nod. Sort of a 'hey...i dont know you...so im keeping my eye on you' kind of nod...the nod you give the guy that you see milling around your girl when she's waiting on you at the bar and you're not around yet.

These nods can be followed by verbal cues that seem to range from a grunt...to 'sup'...and if you're a bigger guy a 'hey boss' kind of response.

Do women have these kind of things too?
  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    While I don't participate in "the nod", I fully understand what you are talking about.
    As far as do women have this sort of thing, right off the bat I cant think of anything that they do that is similar.
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    • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post


      While I don't participate in "the nod", I fully understand what you are talking about.
      You have to have a certain level of coolness, street smart and laid back attitude to get it.

      One non-verbal message of the nod is simply, "Everythings cool, I'm not trippin".

      Also, " If something is happening , what's up? If not, its still all good, enjoy yourself."

      The term, "I don't participate" is simply, "I don't feel you, man" or " I only communicate on the strictest rules of society ,and, pre-determined acceptable codes of engagement established by traditional standard social order."

      Ease up, jack, nothins that tight.
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      • Profile picture of the author KimW
        Originally Posted by The 13th Warrior View Post

        You have to have a certain level of coolness, street smart and laid back attitude to get it.

        One non-verbal message of the nod is simply, "Everythings cool, I'm not trippin".

        Also, " If something is happening , what's up? If not, its still all good, enjoy yourself."

        The term, "I don't participate" is simply, "I don't feel you, man" or " I only communicate on the strictest rules of society ,and, pre-determined acceptable codes of engagement established by traditional standard social order."

        Ease up, jack, nothins that tight.

        lol, thats the funniest post of the day!

        The former part, "I don;t feel you man" is porobably correct,as I also don't say "sup', and I pretty much laugh at anyone my age that tries to pull it off.
        The latter part you are way off base.

        Of course there are some good responses in this thread though.
        Ken, you seem to use the nod the way I do. As aknowledgement or of presense.

        CD, I understand your versions of the nod too.

        Of course I am the only male that answered Michaels question so far,though Kay and Patrician did.

        Kay, Another thing I have seen here in the south is people don't say "hello" when they call someone on the phone, I will answer the phone and on the other end I get "hey".

        By the way 13th Warrior, your sig violates forum rules. <nod>
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        • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
          Originally Posted by KimW View Post



          By the way 13th Warrior, your sig violates forum rules. <nod>

          Definitely a DOWN nod.

          Real party animal.

          Glad I don't have to spend money on ice today, an ample supply was poured down my pants, thanks.

          Sig removed, so you can snap off your rubber gloves now.

          Tweezers can now be re-holstered.

          Jesus, nothing like a part time/retired proctologist or rectum stretcher to kill the vibe, man.
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          • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
            Originally Posted by The 13th Warrior View Post


            Jesus, nothing like a part time/retired proctologist or rectum stretcher to kill the vibe, man.
            That's not true. He just loves you, man.

            He was trying to save you from damnation and disgrace.

            (nod)
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            • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
              Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post


              That's not true. He just loves you, man.

              He was trying to save you from damnation and disgrace.

              Love?

              Wow, sure would not want to see his hateful side.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    It is odd, I never thought about that until a few years ago, and now YOU mention it.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Women here seem to use the "tilt" - you pass someone you know slightly you just tilt the head to the side a little to acknowledge them.

      What's odd here in the South is the use of the word "hey" - people here don't say "hello" or "hi" - they say "hey".

      So when I visit relatives in the North I find myself saying "hey" and they answer "what?".
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      • Profile picture of the author Andie
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Women here seem to use the "tilt" - you pass someone you know slightly you just tilt the head to the side a little to acknowledge them.

        What's odd here in the South is the use of the word "hey" - people here don't say "hello" or "hi" - they say "hey".

        So when I visit relatives in the North I find myself saying "hey" and they answer "what?".
        There is the 'hey' the 'hiya' and in cases of multiples 'hey y'all' and around here there is a good smattering of ole 'Howdy' happening too

        Andie
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        • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
          Originally Posted by Andie View Post

          There is the 'hey' the 'hiya' and in cases of multiples 'hey y'all' and around here there is a good smattering of ole 'Howdy' happening too

          Andie
          Y'all don't say, "Howdy sup?"
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      • Profile picture of the author sundrop881
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Women here seem to use the "tilt" - you pass someone you know slightly you just tilt the head to the side a little to acknowledge them.

        What's odd here in the South is the use of the word "hey" - people here don't say "hello" or "hi" - they say "hey".

        So when I visit relatives in the North I find myself saying "hey" and they answer "what?".
        That is too funny!! But true. If a person wants to catch my attention from a distance, they would say "Hey" and I would say " What" and await their question.

        That is just too funny! .... and Yes, I am from Illinois ...
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    I would say if I make eye contact with anyone - male or female I would smile - and I suppose there is a sort of uptilt to the head that just says 'I see you'.

    ... or not -

    If it is a guy and he is smarmy - I would not smile and would put up my 'you do not have permission to look at me' look. If he speaks I pretend I don't speak English and don't respond.

    If he persists I start visualizing a huge black cast iron frying pan and smashing him in the face -

    I am friendly, what can I say.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

      I would say if I make eye contact with anyone - male or female I would smile - and I suppose there is a sort of uptilt to the head that just says 'I see you'.

      ... or not -

      If it is a guy and he is smarmy - I would not smile and would put up my 'you do not have permission to look at me' look. If he speaks I pretend I don't speak English and don't respond.

      If he persists I start visualizing a huge black cast iron frying pan and smashing him in the face -

      I am friendly, what can I say.
      Note to self:

      Avert my eyes when reading one of Patrician's posts.
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      • Profile picture of the author jlxsolutions
        Hmm even thou most US ppl i know are some sort of criminals in past or present i do seem 99.% incl the ones not badazzes use the word "sup".
        and imagine when i tried using that in online games in EU.
        most was like WTF dude.
        But the nod thing i have only seen used (here finland) in between groups off ppl knowing eachother
        I just give a blank stare if some one looks at me.
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    Several months ago I was in the grocery store and caught a woman
    looking at me, her boyfriend had his back to us and was busy with
    something. I know it was her boyfriend because I know him.

    So I just nodded, it was a downward, sort of cautious nod. She
    did the same right back. First time a woman ever nodded at me. But
    she's also from a different country, so I don't know if that had anything
    to do with it.

    I tend to nod to people only because I'm not much of a smiler, and I
    don't talk much to people. So the nod works out pretty well. It was a
    good invention.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    The down nod is deferential, the up nod is dominating.

    If I'm at work or a conference, I nod down.

    If I'm walking through a bad part of town, I nod up.

    Basically, if you're in a situation or culture where respect is given to those who deserve it, you nod down. If you're in a situation where respect is demanded by those who deserve it, you nod up.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      The down nod is deferential, the up nod is dominating.

      If I'm at work or a conference, I nod down.

      If I'm walking through a bad part of town, I nod up.

      Basically, if you're in a situation or culture where respect is given to those who deserve it, you nod down. If you're in a situation where respect is demanded by those who deserve it, you nod up.
      Gee, I guess I butt heads with a lot of people. For the most part, we nod UP!
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    • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post



      If I'm at work or a conference, I nod down.

      If I'm walking through a bad part of town, I nod up.

      Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

      The nod down.

      At work or business, its kind of a casual handshake without shaking or respectful recognition without emotional agenda or commitment either way.....like saying

      "Alright, man, I'm here, " or

      "sucks to be here, but I'm here" or

      "gotta do what we gotta do, can we make this painless?"

      "NOT tryin to be your friend but I'm simply trying to get thru the day quickly without incident"

      or
      "I'm just acknowledging in a cordial way your presence WITHOUT commitment but I neither hate you nor like you but let's get thru this".

      The down nod is also toward either:

      - uptight people,

      - overly and overtly academic in expressing themselves,

      - strictly business types,

      - people with no "with it" vibe

      - or women in general, done with the non-verbal message being respectful, agenda-less, non-committal , non-emotional, keep your space, non-inviting, neither friend or foe sort of way...

      ..the down nod is also a way in being cordial WITHOUT having ANY message that can be misinterpreted or assessed as to any motive or intention that one can readily get a grip on.

      I'm going to submit this to wiki.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andie
    Pat -
    I love giving that 'permission to look at me is not granted!' look at 'em ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Thanks Ken <nod>
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