Help Me Pick A Chili Name...

by 45 comments
I am competing in a Chili Cookoff and need to pick a name for my Chili.

It is a basic, mild, beer based chili consisting of: Ground Beef, Beans, Beer, Tomatoes, Onions, Bell Pepper, Chili Powder and secret spices. It's damn good and there's never any left. Always wins peoples choice but not the judges.

Please reply with your pick from the list below:

Chili con Cerveza
Tavern Chili
No. 7
Anal Agony
WallaWalla Woohoo
Blazing Saddles
Fire in the HOLE
Colon Cleanser
Gone in 60 seconds
WMD (weapon of max delicious)
Championship Chili
JC's Revenge
Runs for Your Life
A-H Reamer Chili Company
Secret Remedy
Shotgun Willie
Capitol Punishment

Thanks,

John

ps - I am leaning towards "Gone in 60 Seconds"
#off topic
  • Profile picture of the author tiger325
    I kind of like fire in the hole haha
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Maybe it is the names that suck. Most don't say anything and the others, well who wants the runs or to think about gross things while eating??

    You are appealing to the wrong end. lol

    How about something with 'Nitro' -

    Nitro Chili Delicious
    Flaming Chili Amazing

    I don't know. But good luck...
  • Profile picture of the author ashenjr
    Shotgun Willie get's my vote!!
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Thanks all for the input.

      I like a few and I hate a few. So I turned to my fellow warriors for advice.

      Patricia - I should have mentioned that a "Creative" name is also part fo the judging - my bad.

      Regards,

      John
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    I agree with Patrician, nobody wants to think about the food coming out, they want to think about it going in.

    Appeal to the T.B.*, not the T.B.**...

    Is the chili savory? Hot? Spicy? Does the heat sneak up on you? Impossible to extinguish? What one word describes the flavor? What words have others used?

    How about TripleB (beef, beans, beer)? You could even do a quik logo to look like a branding iron with three Bs on it.

    ~Michael

    p.s. By the way...*Taste Buds... **Toilet Bowl
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      I agree with Patrician, nobody wants to think about the food coming out, they want to think about it going in.

      Appeal to the T.B.*, not the T.B.**...

      Is the chili savory? Hot? Spicy? Does the heat sneak up on you? Impossible to extinguish? What one word describes the flavor? What words have others used?

      How about TripleB (beef, beans, beer)? You could even do a quik logo to look like a branding iron with three Bs on it.

      ~Michael

      p.s. By the way...*Taste Buds... **Toilet Bowl
      I like the way you think - very creative and sound advice.

      Thanks and let's keep the ideas flowing.

      John
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    way hot screaming delicious chili

    amplified chili supremo

    Senor' Juan's Callijente Surprise (is that Spanish for hot?) spell right.

    OH WOW HOT Pepper Surprise (mwuahaha)

    Run to the John HOT Chili (kidding,couldn't resist)

    oh man i will get you disqualified.
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    How about...

    "You better eat it fast before it disintegrates your spoon chili"

    That may be a little long, but creates a strong visual. which makes me think of another idea. See if you can come up with a name that appeals to more than one sense at a time.

    ~Michael

    p.s. I make a mean chili too, but there's too many secret ingredients for me to give any kind of recipe.
    • Profile picture of the author Jose Delgado
      You cracked me up with Anal agony.

      Fire in the hole is pretty good but you can do better.

    • Profile picture of the author ShayRockhold
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      How about...

      "You better eat it fast before it disintegrates your spoon chili"

      That may be a little long, but creates a strong visual. which makes me think of another idea. See if you can come up with a name that appeals to more than one sense at a time.

      ~Michael

      p.s. I make a mean chili too, but there's too many secret ingredients for me to give any kind of recipe.
      Hmmmmm....

      "Spoon-Eating Chili"
      "Spoon-Melting Chili"
      "Spoon-Disintigrating Chili"
      "The Spoon Terminator"

  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Johns Blazin' Beer Roadhouse Chili.

    John's Blazin' Bs Roadhouse Chili.

    Live up to it. Chili isn't chili unless it can break you out in a sweat.
  • Profile picture of the author John M Kane
    "Judges Favorite"
    "Chili Nirvana"
    "People's Choice Chili"
    "Diego's Delicious Delite" "Triple D Chili"
    "Speechlessly Good Chili Ambrosia"
    "Magnicficent Meat Mixture" mmm
    "Goodilicious Glop"
    "Sweat Like a Pig Chili"
    "TYBACA" takes your breath away chili always

    List of names Chili.
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Thanks for all of the ideas so far.

      You guys are coming up with some great stuff (I knew you would)!

      Keep the juices flowing - no pun intended.

      John

      ps - You guys are really making it hard to pick a name. ;-)
  • Profile picture of the author gimmick
    My pick: Chili con Cerveza - absolutely!
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      I wish I could ship you all a bowl as thanks for your contributions.

      But, there's never any left after the judges and the public get at it.

      That's one of the reasons i am leaning towards "Gone in 60 Seconds"

      John
  • Profile picture of the author AffiliateBang
    I vote "Gone in 60 Seconds" because it creates a mystery, makes people wonder why it disappears so quickly. I was going to vote for "WallaWalla Woohoo", but after saying it aloud, it sounded like a cartoon character to me.
  • Profile picture of the author Jackie888
    No.7 because it's sounds secretive
    and Blazing Sadle that name gives the taster something to look forward to.
  • Profile picture of the author goins0410
    FIRE IN THE HOLE!
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Thanks for all your input.

      You are a creative, thinking group.

      While I was swayed a few times to change my mind, I slept on it and I still think "Gone in 60 Seconds" is the one I am going with.

      Again, thank you all for your participation.

      John
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Let us know if you win!

    Good luck!
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

      Let us know if you win!

      Good luck!
      Will do. The event is next Wednesday, 10/29.

      Thanks again for all of your help.

      John

      ps - Happy Friday!
  • Profile picture of the author acreativetouch
    Blazin' anus


    dot
  • Profile picture of the author gareth
    Dog Pizzle -- thats what it looks like after all.
  • Profile picture of the author uptonmelissa
    i am trying to name my chili for a company news article.
    and i am sorry all, my husband calls my chili
    " A$$E$ OF FIRE CHILI " BUT CAN NOT PUT THAT IN MY NEWS ARTICLE L.O.L.
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      Here's my favorite "Chili Cookoff"anecdote.

      If you can read this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no hope for you!

      *Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!

      For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.

      The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

      Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so
      I accepted."

      Here are the scorecards from the event:

      Chili # 1 (Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili)
      Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
      Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
      Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

      Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili)
      Judge # 1 Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
      Judge # 2 Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
      Judge # 3 Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

      Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili)
      Judge # 1 Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
      Judge # 2 A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
      Judge # 3 Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer!

      Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic)
      Judge # 1 Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
      Judge # 2 Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
      Judge # 3 I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

      Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover)
      Judge # 1 Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
      Judge # 2 Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
      Judge # 3 My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

      Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety)
      Judge # 1 Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
      Judge # 2 The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
      Judge # 3 I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

      Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili)
      Judge # 1 A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
      Judge # 2 Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
      Judge # 3 You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not
      getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

      Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili)
      Judge # 1 The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
      Judge # 2 This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

      Now - please reply and tell me if
      you had "tears of laughter running down your cheeks" or not.

      Regards,

      John
  • Profile picture of the author chicklates
    this would be better..

    Capitol Punishment
    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by chicklates View Post

      this would be better..

      Capitol Punishment
      Do you think the guy is still looking for a name for his chili after 3 years? :rolleyes:
  • Profile picture of the author steve24
    Firey anus or hottie tavern haha..its really hard to think something chilli they are all given..try burning chuck..

Next Topics on Trending Feed