Help Me Pick A Chili Name...

[TE2]

I am competing in a Chili Cookoff and need to pick a name for my Chili.

It is a basic, mild, beer based chili consisting of: Ground Beef, Beans, Beer, Tomatoes, Onions, Bell Pepper, Chili Powder and secret spices. It's damn good and there's never any left. Always wins peoples choice but not the judges.

Please reply with your pick from the list below:

Chili con Cerveza
Tavern Chili
No. 7
Anal Agony
WallaWalla Woohoo
Blazing Saddles
Fire in the HOLE
Colon Cleanser
Gone in 60 seconds
WMD (weapon of max delicious)
Championship Chili
JC's Revenge
Runs for Your Life
A-H Reamer Chili Company
Secret Remedy
Shotgun Willie
Capitol Punishment

Thanks,

John

ps - I am leaning towards "Gone in 60 Seconds"

[tiger325]

I kind of like fire in the hole haha

[Patrician]

Maybe it is the names that suck. Most don't say anything and the others, well who wants the runs or to think about gross things while eating??

You are appealing to the wrong end. lol

How about something with 'Nitro' -

Nitro Chili Delicious
Flaming Chili Amazing

I don't know. But good luck...

[ashenjr]

Shotgun Willie get's my vote!!

[TE2]

Thanks all for the input.

I like a few and I hate a few. So I turned to my fellow warriors for advice.

Patricia - I should have mentioned that a "Creative" name is also part fo the judging - my bad.

Regards,

John

[Michael Oksa]

I agree with Patrician, nobody wants to think about the food coming out, they want to think about it going in.

Appeal to the T.B.*, not the T.B.**...

Is the chili savory? Hot? Spicy? Does the heat sneak up on you? Impossible to extinguish? What one word describes the flavor? What words have others used?

How about TripleB (beef, beans, beer)? You could even do a quik logo to look like a branding iron with three Bs on it.

~Michael

p.s. By the way...*Taste Buds... **Toilet Bowl

[TE2]

Originally Posted by Michael Oksa

I agree with Patrician, nobody wants to think about the food coming out, they want to think about it going in.

Appeal to the T.B.*, not the T.B.**...

Is the chili savory? Hot? Spicy? Does the heat sneak up on you? Impossible to extinguish? What one word describes the flavor? What words have others used?

How about TripleB (beef, beans, beer)? You could even do a quik logo to look like a branding iron with three Bs on it.

~Michael

p.s. By the way...*Taste Buds... **Toilet Bowl

I like the way you think - very creative and sound advice.

Thanks and let's keep the ideas flowing.

John

[Patrician]

way hot screaming delicious chili

amplified chili supremo

Senor' Juan's Callijente Surprise (is that Spanish for hot?) spell right.

OH WOW HOT Pepper Surprise (mwuahaha)

Run to the John HOT Chili (kidding,couldn't resist)

oh man i will get you disqualified.

[Michael Oksa]

How about...

"You better eat it fast before it disintegrates your spoon chili"

That may be a little long, but creates a strong visual. which makes me think of another idea. See if you can come up with a name that appeals to more than one sense at a time.

~Michael

p.s. I make a mean chili too, but there's too many secret ingredients for me to give any kind of recipe.

[Jose Delgado]

You cracked me up with Anal agony.

Fire in the hole is pretty good but you can do better.

[Sean A McAlister]

Blazing Saddles

So good than when you fart it will sound like two saddle bags flappin in the wind!

[HeySal]

Johns Blazin' Beer Roadhouse Chili.

John's Blazin' Bs Roadhouse Chili.

Live up to it. Chili isn't chili unless it can break you out in a sweat.

[John M Kane]

"Judges Favorite"
"Chili Nirvana"
"People's Choice Chili"
"Diego's Delicious Delite" "Triple D Chili"
"Speechlessly Good Chili Ambrosia"
"Magnicficent Meat Mixture" mmm
"Goodilicious Glop"
"Sweat Like a Pig Chili"
"TYBACA" takes your breath away chili always

List of names Chili.

[TE2]

Thanks for all of the ideas so far.

You guys are coming up with some great stuff (I knew you would)!

Keep the juices flowing - no pun intended.

John

ps - You guys are really making it hard to pick a name. ;-)

[gimmick]

My pick: Chili con Cerveza - absolutely!

[TE2]

I wish I could ship you all a bowl as thanks for your contributions.

But, there's never any left after the judges and the public get at it.

That's one of the reasons i am leaning towards "Gone in 60 Seconds"

John

[AffiliateBang]

I vote "Gone in 60 Seconds" because it creates a mystery, makes people wonder why it disappears so quickly. I was going to vote for "WallaWalla Woohoo", but after saying it aloud, it sounded like a cartoon character to me.

[Jackie888]

No.7 because it's sounds secretive
and Blazing Sadle that name gives the taster something to look forward to.

[goins0410]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

[TE2]

Thanks for all your input.

You are a creative, thinking group.

While I was swayed a few times to change my mind, I slept on it and I still think "Gone in 60 Seconds" is the one I am going with.

Again, thank you all for your participation.

John

[Patrician]

Let us know if you win!

Good luck!

[acreativetouch]

Blazin' anus


dot

[TE2]

Originally Posted by Patrician

Let us know if you win!

Good luck!

Will do. The event is next Wednesday, 10/29.

Thanks again for all of your help.

John

ps - Happy Friday!

[Mike Wright]

LOL,

RUSHMORE CHILI

or

Dr John's Rushmore Chili

or

Donner und Blitzen Chili

or

Burnin Buttocks Chili

Hellfire Chili

Sore Ass chili

Mucho Methane Chili

Bootleg Blaster chili

[TE2]

Mike,

Thanks for the names.


All,

I have submitted my entry as "Gone in 60 Seconds".


Have a great weekend,

John

[HeySal]

Good luck in the contest, John. We will be rooting for ya.

[Mike Wright]

Originally Posted by HeySal

Good luck in the contest, John. We will be rooting for ya.

Me also John

[ShayRockhold]

Originally Posted by Michael Oksa

How about...

"You better eat it fast before it disintegrates your spoon chili"

That may be a little long, but creates a strong visual. which makes me think of another idea. See if you can come up with a name that appeals to more than one sense at a time.

~Michael

p.s. I make a mean chili too, but there's too many secret ingredients for me to give any kind of recipe.

Hmmmmm....

"Spoon-Eating Chili"
"Spoon-Melting Chili"
"Spoon-Disintigrating Chili"
"The Spoon Terminator"

[TE2]

I'm thinking of posting my recipe - after the contest is over... ;-)

Anyone interested?

John

[TE2]

As promised, the results are...

"Peoples Choice" - 2nd year in a row!


Regards,

John

[HeySal]

Sounds like you have congress voting for your chili - never in accordance with public opinion, LOL.

Congratulations for being the popular pick though - now go build a roadhouse or construct a chuckwagon campsite. We don't just want the recipe from you - we want to sit down and eat some with you!

[TE2]

Originally Posted by HeySal

Sounds like you have congress voting for your chili - never in accordance with public opinion, LOL.

Congratulations for being the popular pick though - now go build a roadhouse or construct a chuckwagon campsite. We don't just want the recipe from you - we want to sit down and eat some with you!

HeySal,

Thanks. I'll post the recipe here later today but there's no way I want to be in the restaurant business. Those folks work some killer hours!

Regards,

John

[Glenn Newsome]

John,
Way to go holding on to your position for 2 years in a row.
Now for next years cook-off I have a few suggestions:just my opinion-LOL)

The name: "gone in 60 seconds" -- makes it sound like a speed eating contest.

I suggest you consider some of the other names. And yes even the names others consider the wrong end. For folks in Texas (i think you are elsewhere) anything that describes hot hot hot is used. You could use something like:
"3 mile island" chili
Nuclear Nuisance
Butt Burner Chili
Habanero Hell Chili

If they allow descriptions:
"warning: ingest internally but be prepared for an external exit"
"only to be eaten no more than 10 seconds from the outhouse door"

If you don't mind telling us, what was the winning name. Was it spicey or consider a dull name?

you could also include a video like this one:Warning: turn sound down some)

YouTube - Lighting Farts Extreme (Rocket Farting)

[gareth]

Dog Pizzle -- thats what it looks like after all.

[TE2]

Originally Posted by Glenn Newsome

John,
Way to go holding on to your position for 2 years in a row.

Thanks Glenn!

We are only allowed to give it a name - nothing else. Additionally, the name can't be the same from year to year plus the contestant names are not associated with the Chili in order to make the judging as blind as possible.

Next year, I am changing from my mild, beer-based Chili to our family recipe hot and spicy Chilli.

It will be named "Fire In The Hole".

Regards,

John

[TE2]

I said I would share, so here's the recipe...

People's Choice Chili Recipe

1.5 Lbs - Ground Beef
2 Cans - Bush's Red Kidney Beans
2 Cans - Del Monte Diced Tomatoes w/ Garlic & Onions
2 Packets - McCormick Chili Seasoning Mix, "Original"
2 Cans (8oz) - Tomato sauce
1 Cup - Hunts Ketchup
1 Cup - Onion (diced)
3/4 Cup - Green Bell Pepper (diced)
2 Cloves - Minced Garlic
1 (12oz) - Budweiser Beer

Do NOT substitute ingredients (especially the beer) as each one is required to get the desired taste. Use the exact brands listed.

1. Brown the beef with onion and green pepper added
2. Mix the other ingredients in a large pot
3. Strain beef mix and add to the mix
4. Cook 30 minutes on stove top (or use a large crockpot set on high for 2 hours)

Enjoy,

John

ps - If you make it, let me know how you liked it.

[TE2]

Originally Posted by TE2

Thanks Glenn!

We are only allowed to give it a name - nothing else. Additionally, the name can't be the same from year to year plus the contestant names are not associated with the Chili in order to make the judging as blind as possible.

Next year, I am changing from my mild, beer-based Chili to our family recipe hot and spicy Chilli.

It will be named "Fire In The Hole".

Regards,

John

Hey guys and gals,

The 2009 annual chili cookoff is this Thursday (Oct. 22).

This year, I am entering my family's hot and spicy recipe. I place it in the medium-hot range as it is hot enough to make you drink a beverage while you eat but no so hot as to put (most) people in to pain.

I am naming it Fire in the Hole.

When I write out the name card, I am limited to only the name and no extra description. The cookoff sponsors will hand write the name cards. No fancy printouts.

So I am thinking of trying to differentiate it a bit by using tweaking the name using punctuation.

I'd like your input/opinions/suggestions.

Which is better?

Fire in the Hole...

File in the Hole!

Fire in the HOLE


Your thoughts?

Thanks,

John

[Kay King]

I liked the "tavern chili" because of the beer ingredient.

If names count and this isn't a super hot chili recipe, you might be giving an expectation of "fire" that isn't there.

I would avoid any names associated with excrement or body parts. ;-)

kay

[TE2]

Originally Posted by Kay King

I liked the "tavern chili" because of the beer ingredient.

If names count and this isn't a super hot chili recipe, you might be giving an expectation of "fire" that isn't there.

I would avoid any names associated with excrement or body parts. ;-)

kay

Thanks Kay,

This one is not beer based.

It is spicy and hot, just not painfully hot.

Fire in the Hole is suitable and a reasonably accurate mane for it. The only other name I like for it is "No. 7" due to the short and mysterious nature.

Anyone else want to chime in?

Regards,

John

[uptonmelissa]

i am trying to name my chili for a company news article.
and i am sorry all, my husband calls my chili
" A$$E$ OF FIRE CHILI " BUT CAN NOT PUT THAT IN MY NEWS ARTICLE L.O.L.

[TE2]

Here's my favorite "Chili Cookoff"anecdote.

If you can read this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no hope for you!

*Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so
I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 (Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili)
Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili)
Judge # 1 Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili)
Judge # 1 Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer!

Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic)
Judge # 1 Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover)
Judge # 1 Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety)
Judge # 1 Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili)
Judge # 1 A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not
getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili)
Judge # 1 The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Now - please reply and tell me if you had "tears of laughter running down your cheeks" or not.

Regards,

John

[chicklates]

this would be better..

Capitol Punishment

[Dennis Gaskill]

Originally Posted by chicklates

this would be better..

Capitol Punishment

Do you think the guy is still looking for a name for his chili after 3 years?

[steve24]

Firey anus or hottie tavern haha..its really hard to think something chilli they are all given..try burning chuck..