I'm Done...Time To Get Back To Work

I'm putting it all out there in this post, so be warned...this could get messy.

The last couple of years I have bounced from full time work to semi retirement
to part time work to...well whatever.

But enough is enough.

I have spent the last year mourning the loss of my mother (who I go to
visit at the cemetery twice a week), writing songs and playing Texas Hold 'Em
until it's come out of my ears.

But 4 CDs and about $380,000 in play money from Texas Hold 'Em later, I'm
realizing that I'm pissing the rest of my life away.

My business, albeit not much, has suffered some. And while I don't need
the money anymore (everything is freaking paid) I do need a feeling of
self worth or I'll go crazy.

So I'm going back to work full time. And I do mean FULL TIME.

That means back to the long days. I have many projects lined up...one
of which I am already working on with another Warrior on a niche outside
of IM. I expect it to do very well.

One day I'm going to be on my death bed looking back at what I've done
and I don't want my last days to be about fantasizing about being a rock
star and beating a computer at cards.

I want to look back and say, "Damn, look what I accomplished."

Some would say I have nothing left to prove, building a 6 figure business
in less time than it takes most people just do eek out any kind of income.

But like the old saying goes, "What have you done lately?"

Nobody remembers your prior accomplishments. Only what you've done
today. Well, today...I'm not doing much of anything and it has to stop
or I'm going to become very disappointed with myself.

I realized today that I was happiest when I was working 14 hour days.
But somewhere along the way, somebody told me that I shouldn't have
to do that and because I was, I wasn't running an efficient business.

And somewhere along the way...I bought into that crap.

Bull sh*t...How I run my business is my business and if working 14 hours
a day makes me happy, then that's what I'll do.

The hell with anybody who thinks I'm a rotten excuse for a businessman.

What they think doesn't matter.

So it's time to get back to work. I went to the cemetery today and said
goodbye to my mom. I haven't been able to let go until now. But I have
to get back to living my life and leaving the past where it is.

Some of you might think this is flat out cold of me. Well, I can't bring my
mom back. But maybe I can do something to make her proud of me
wherever she is.

My wife says not to worry about the business. Like I said, we don't need
the money anymore.

Well, like I said...it's not about the money. It's about my self worth.

Egotistical?

Folks, we all have egos.

Some are just a little bigger than others.

You can wish me well, tell me I'm an idiot and should go on enjoying my
free time to piss my life away or say anything you want.

Me? I'm done.

Time to get back to work.