Why are so many relationships failing?

That's a great way to put it.
People are lazy now a days and there is a lot of crap being force fed into our society that is meant to make us think we don't need anyone but ourselves and we are in control. Boy is that wrong.
They think that they will just go out and get another relationship but they never think about the baggage they drag with them and getting someone else involved in their mess they think they left behind.

yes, unfortunately we live in a throw away society...


I tend to try and fix things but sometimes you just can't.

i again! Cost of replacing seems much higher than new one! But i don't think this should be the case in relationships!!

I only halfway follow your logic.
Any and all problems should make a relationship stronger, but reality is that it usually doesn't.


By the way, you might want to learn how to use the quote and milti quote buttons.

the respect should be mutual these days, otherwise it is very hard for the relationship to survive.

But both can't lead and follow at the same time. Someone has to drive the boat or there is no direction. That doesnt mean there needs to be a 'ruler' or one needs to dominate the other, but someone needs to have a plan and be focused on the end result to keep things flowing in the right direction.

'They' couldnt both drive a car could they? Nope, someone has to drive, someone has to be the passenger, and each need to play their position.
People, man or woman, will follow strong leaders. Whether it be on a national scale or in a completely intimate relationship. The problem is the dynamic has changed and there isn't a defined 'alpha'
In my opinion a lot of the cause of this originates with the males. Some they can control, some they can't.

For instance, I'll be the first to say that I'm nowhere near the man my grandfathers were. Both WWII vets, one had a pretty profitable beef farm, one was a pretty successful fabricator. That whole generation had challenges set before them that formed them into a pretty hardcore group. Those are people that went through major upheavel in this country during their lives. Depression, riots, multiple world wars. That is a very self sufficient group of males because they had to be.

Today everything is easy. Technology and benefits of those that HAVE sacrificed that came before us has made both sexes lazy and complacent. There hasnt been any major event like a world war that has forced self sacrifice, which in my opinion builds character in many ways.

Back in the day of ozzie and harriet when the housewife was a total subservient role women were content to let the man call the shots...because he COULD call the shots. After surviving more than a few 'hardening' events, They had good jobs that they actually went to. Didnt spend massive amounts of time staring at a computer screen or tv with a game controller in their hands or looking at their cell phones. Never heard of issues like digital porn addiction. Drug addiction wasn't as normal as having the measels in life. 1 in 4 of the males in the country weren't morbidly obese. Add to that various environmental influences to the average person's body/mind and changes in social facets of this country that practically make it illegal to own a penis.

If you're going to be the 'leader'...you gotta earn that spot.

But at the same time...women need to get off that 'we can do everything a man can do' kick.

No you can't. Live with it.

We can't do everything women do either. We don't have a problem with that. Women have to stick their nose in stuff that men do because they want to show they are just as good or tough or smart or whatever as men, and sometimes women want to do stuff men do just to annoy us.

For instance, just the other day, I saw a site that sold a cardboard vaginal insert that allowed a woman to pee standing up. Seriously ladies? Do you really need to break into THAT 'boys club' so bad that you're willing to stick a piece of cardboard up in your stuff just to prove the point?

Women need to better understand how to deal with their man.

If women are handling their man correctly, we dont mind killing the spiders, slaying the dragons, or changing the oil that they dont want or have the ability to do.

Yeah, we know you can probably do it on your own if you really have to. But thats part of what throws this dynamic out of whack.

All you have to do is feed us, give us sex, and let us think some of the good ideas are ours. Not necessarily in that order. Then all you have to do is wait for us to come back from changing the oil with a load of fresh dragon meat and a dead spider stuck to the bottom of our shoe.

Just humor us. Just like when we humor you when we say we really love going to a tri-level mall and checking out each and every single fricken store and every item in every store just to get to the ONE store that sells the single pack of socks that you originally came for in the first place...that unbeknownst to us was passed 3 hours ago at the front door.

If you want a man that 'wears the pants', you have to take them off your own butt first.

Kay King,

You are so right! It is a different time. Women are held just as responsible for decisions made and the consequences of those decisions as Men are today, and that is just a fact. Women can no longer get off the hook by saying he made me do it, or I was just following him. With greater responsibility comes greater opportunities and the expectation to act like a fully participating partner in the relationship, regarding decisions, money, child raising, home life. I think a marriage between two adults where there is mutual respect, understanding, and communication that works, is the key to great marriages these days.

Myself being married for over 36 years, I have discovered that it takes a lot of selflessness, a lot of willingness to see things through another person's eyes, a lot of putting personal pleasures, ambitions, and other I wants aside, for the betterment of the marriage. If young people are not ready to make the personal sacrifices necessary to make a long term marriage, than it's better they wait until they are willing.