Best way to propose to a girl

by ramshankarN 46 replies
i am a jolly and fun loving person who used to hang arround in mall and streets with boys.But i am very weak in girls department,that is in front of girls i will be calm,silent which is not me,Actually i feel very shy.
so how to propose a girl :confused:
Any suggestion
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  • Profile picture of the author wcmylife
    Hire a private dating coach if you have the money...

    If you want free, read up stuff on the internet....doubleyourdating.com is a nice place to start and so is sosuave.com
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    I assume you're talking about marriage?

    "Will you marry me"?

    That will do the trick and is unambiguous.

    Good luck. Congratulations, in advance. Name your
    first child, Ken.

    Ken
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    • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      I assume you're talking about marriage?

      "Will you marry me"?

      That will do the trick and is unambiguous.

      Good luck. Congratulations, in advance. Name your
      first child, Ken.


      Ken
      From his name, I presume he is Indian. And in India, proposing and picking up are pretty synonymous.

      Sumit.

      PS. And if you weren't a regular OTer, I would have reported your post for blatant self-promotion.
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      • Profile picture of the author glchandler
        how to propose a girl
        Previous entry deleted due to poor taste for what seems to be a serious inquiry for information/advice!
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

        From his name, I presume he is Indian. And in India, proposing and picking up are pretty synonymous.

        Sumit.

        PS. And if you weren't a regular OTer, I would have reported your post for blatant self-promotion.
        And here I thought you proposed when you were BORN! I mean don't most families ARRANGE marriages from birth!?

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          And here I thought you proposed when you were BORN! I mean don't most families ARRANGE marriages from birth!?

          Steve
          That used to happen (a long time ago). And the gross thing was some of these marriages were arranged between first cousins. Don't really think the system exists anymore, except maybe, in some rural parts (and I'm just assuming).

          Now, marriages are arranged when a person is in their twenties (usually, early twenties for girls, and late twenties for guys).

          So, if a guy likes a girl and wants to marry her, he'd have to ask the girl of course, but he would (or his parents would) also have to ask the girl's parents for "her hand".

          Sumit.
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

            That used to happen (a long time ago). And the gross thing was some of these marriages were arranged between first cousins. Don't really think the system exists anymore, except maybe, in some rural parts (and I'm just assuming).

            Now, marriages are arranged when a person is in their twenties (usually, early twenties for girls, and late twenties for guys).

            So, if a guy likes a girl and wants to marry her, he'd have to ask the girl of course, but he would (or his parents would) also have to ask the girl's parents for "her hand".

            Sumit.
            It's still done. I know at least 4 people that did it that way. Some spoke tamil as a native language, and some telagu, so they weren't even from the same part of india.
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            • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
              Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

              It's still done. I know at least 4 people that did it that way. Some spoke tamil as a native language, and some telagu, so they weren't even from the same part of india.
              If their marriages were fixed when they were born, and they are married now, that must mean it's been at least 20 years since the arrangement. (I'm 17. So, my "long time ago" doesn't go very long back. Pretty much the time before I was born. ). In the recent years, I, personally, haven't heard of this happening anywhere, from my family or friends. But, just because I haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it's not done. So, I can't really tell.

              There happens to be a lot of sections in the Indian society. Some very modern (like those who live in the heart of the metropolitan cities) - almost living the Western lifestyle. The middle class (like my family) who usually hold on to a few customs, but don't follow the really stupid ones (I'm not saying the customs we retain are not stupid. They are just not insanely stupid. :p) Then there are others who still follow the old values and traditions. So, you can't really generalize on any one of them.

              The custom is/was more prevalent in South India, according to me. (My Mom and Dad are from originally from this part. So, I can only tell you as much as I know and have been told.). Tamil is spoken in Tamil Nadu and Telugu in Andhra Pradesh. They are neighboring states (Both of these states fall in South India.) So, your friends are pretty much from the same part of the country.

              Sumit.
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              • Profile picture of the author seasoned
                Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

                If their marriages were fixed when they were born, and they are married now, that must mean it's been at least 20 years since the arrangement. (I'm 17. So, my "long time ago" doesn't go very long back. Pretty much the time before I was born. ). In the recent years, I, personally, haven't heard of this happening anywhere, from my family or friends. But, just because I haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it's not done. So, I can't really tell.

                There happens to be a lot of sections in the Indian society. Some very modern (like those who live in the heart of the metropolitan cities) - almost living the Western lifestyle. The middle class (like my family) who usually hold on to a few customs, but don't follow the really stupid ones (I'm not saying the customs we retain are not stupid. They are just not insanely stupid. :p) Then there are others who still follow the old values and traditions. So, you can't really generalize on any one of them.

                The custom is/was more prevalent in South India, according to me. (My Mom and Dad are from originally from this part. So, I can only tell you as much as I know and have been told.). Tamil is spoken in Tamil Nadu and Telugu in Andhra Pradesh. They are neighboring states (Both of these states fall in South India.) So, your friends are pretty much from the same part of the country.

                Sumit.
                Yeah, it depends how big you consider a part to be. Still, people that speak only tamil apparently can't be understood by those speaking only telagu. But YEAH, you're right, they are like 25-30 when they get married. Some of that might be because one of them comes to America earlier.

                Steve
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            • Profile picture of the author Tomos Wyn
              Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

              It's still done. I know at least 4 people that did it that way. Some spoke tamil as a native language, and some telagu, so they weren't even from the same part of india.
              It happened with my big sister. Her boyfriend wrote my father a letter from Afghanistan (serving on duty) asking my father for her hand in marriage.
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      • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
        Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

        From his name, I presume he is Indian. And in India, proposing and picking up are pretty synonymous.

        Sumit.

        PS. And if you weren't a regular OTer, I would have reported your post for blatant self-promotion.
        I have a good friend who is Indian. Can't remember the state. Anyway,
        I wondered about the name and question. Actually, my Indian friend -
        Nilay, is in his mid-twenties and has explained quite a bit about how it
        works. Although I didn't know that proposing = picking up.

        Nilay has been resisting the efforts of his parents to marry him off. Not
        quite ready for it, I guess. Interesting dynamics, there.

        And thanks for the leniency.


        Ken
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        • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
          Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

          Although I didn't know that proposing = picking up.

          Nilay has been resisting the efforts of his parents to marry him off. Not
          quite ready for it, I guess. Interesting dynamics, there.

          And thanks for the leniency.


          Ken
          Well, the phrase is not widely used. English is not the first language. Most people talk in Hindi or the native tongue.

          I didn't know it meant that either. Once when I was in 10th grade, a guy told me that one of our mutual friends had proposed to a girl. I was like, "What! He asked her to marry him?". And he said, "No. He asked her to be his girlfriend."

          I don't know if asking someone to be your girlfriend is called pick up. But, from what the OP posted, I figured that's what he wanted to do.

          Sumit.
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    • Profile picture of the author leartofly
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      I assume you're talking about marriage?

      "Will you marry me"?

      That will do the trick and is unambiguous.

      Good luck. Congratulations, in advance. Name your
      first child, Ken.

      Ken
      add one more thing before you shout this question .

      being romantic for at least a week before you ask her
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    • Profile picture of the author NinjaBoy
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      I assume you're talking about marriage?

      "Will you marry me"?

      That will do the trick and is unambiguous.

      Good luck. Congratulations, in advance. Name your
      first child, Ken.

      Ken
      LOL. Yeah Ken's a good name. Give him memories to cherish of the Warrior Forums.
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      • Profile picture of the author myob
        Sheesh. If he hasn't proposed by now, she probably has already married someone else. :rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author Norma Rickman
    Flash a nice big diamond at her.

    Guarantee that will catch her attention, and the "Will You Marry Me?" part will become very easy after that.

    Kidding. Just be yourself and be honest. A simple, direct question like Ken's is the way to go.
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    • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
      Originally Posted by Norma Rickman View Post

      Flash a nice big diamond at her.

      Guarantee that will catch her attention, and the "Will You Marry Me?" part will become very easy after that.

      Kidding. Just be yourself and be honest. A simple, direct question like Ken's is the way to go.
      the first suggestion sounds more realistic in todays world
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  • Profile picture of the author rankontop
    be yourself and dont act impressed to much, keep it to yourself. and enjoy being a friend first.
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  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    Be honest! You should walk up to her.. take a deep breath and say "Hey, will you be my girl" or "Will you go have dinner with me sometimes" No point of doing your homework or come up with the best plan ever. Believe in yourself!

    Good luck buddy!
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Why not just be real? Just enjoy your time with her and at some point the time will seem right - you will just feel it and need to say it. Then just say what is in your heart.

    Plans can be made - plans can go wrong. Timing or feelings might just not be right --- and it's just better if you just do it when you feel it the most. When the time is right, you won't be asking how to do it -- you will be asking her for her hand. It will be real and she will feel it and know.
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    My friend, Nilay, is from a state toward the north. He said it
    shares a border with Pakistan, I think. I'm not looking at a map,
    so sorry if it doesn't work out. lol.

    Anyway, his parents are pretty traditional. I asked him once if
    his parents could force him to marry someone, and he said he
    retained the right to decline.

    But he also said he would never marry a non-Indian woman. He
    felt the culture gap would be too much. That's the only reason
    he mentioned.

    But he does follow certain practices mainly out of respect for his
    parents. He's a pretty good guy in a lot of ways.

    When we get together to visit, usually over lunch, he'll comment
    on good looking women we see. Then I tease him and offer to
    introduce him to them. He just laughs.

    Ken
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  • Profile picture of the author Starring_Emma
    Don't chew with your mouth open and bathe every day.
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  • Profile picture of the author mcampbell075
    I guess you're question is how to tell your feelings to her?

    Just be yourself, most girls love funny guys who have their sense of humor and most especially sweet man.
    Then you should know those things that makes her happy. Like favorite things. And do a romantic plan that you should know she's gonna like it.
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  • Profile picture of the author jeancrook
    be sincere don't fake the girl.
    be confident and be what you are.
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  • Profile picture of the author hayden459
    Hey friend earlier i was also like you - very shy and silent in front of the girls. But some days back i started reading articles about girls and relationship and how to talk to a girl and since then i have improved a lot. I would suggest firstly suggest you to try be relaxed when you are with girls and talks to them frankly and once you get mixed up with them then you can easily propose any girl you like.
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    • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
      Originally Posted by hayden459 View Post

      Hey friend earlier i was also like you - very shy and silent in front of the girls. But some days back i started reading articles about girls and relationship and how to talk to a girl and since then i have improved a lot. I would suggest firstly suggest you to try be relaxed when you are with girls and talks to them frankly and once you get mixed up with them then you can easily propose any girl you like.
      Nice dude! Yeah, its cool to be funny and charming.. Good to make em laugh and such. Girls love surprises..
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  • Profile picture of the author antiquenh
    Take her to a place with lots of flowers. and ask her to have a dance with you after your dinner.
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  • Profile picture of the author GTCRESSY
    Get down on one knee.
    Put both hands on the ground in front of you.
    Put your butt up in the air.
    Pretend you hear a PISTOL SHOT AND TAKE OFF RUNNING.

    Believe me you will thank me someday.
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  • Profile picture of the author aps12345
    Dear friend,
    What is the best way to propose a girl???
    This was the question who's answer i was searching for few years back.
    Extremely tensed about what to do.
    A book by Michael Webb made my way damn easy and helped me getting the lady who is my wife today.
    Along with 101 surefire proposal making ideas you will also come to know if she is the one you want and what is the right time to propose her.
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  • Profile picture of the author healthconverter
    Best way to propose to girl?

    There is no surefire way to get her to say yes, but...

    Do something for her that would make her feel special, loved, cared for; then pop the question when the night is just about over in your 1953 Edsel on Makeout Point. OK, well maybe not in the Edsel, Fonzy. Best of luck to you, man.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    >Re: Best way to propose to a girl

    The best way is the ONLY way: With a shotgun in your back and a pre-nup in one hand. If you don't have either, don't get married.
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    • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      >Re: Best way to propose to a girl

      The best way is the ONLY way: With a shotgun in your back and a pre-nup in one hand. If you don't have either, don't get married.
      Ironic you would say that.

      I got married by Reverend Mossberg when I was 18.

      :rolleyes:

      ~Bill
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  • Profile picture of the author rts2271
    Any good story from Georgia starts with "Here, hold my beer..."
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  • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
    As both of stared down at the positive pregnancy test my wife was holding in her hand. "Well babe, I guess we better go down to the courthouse and make it official." Her reply, "Yup, I guess we better." It was a very romantic moment for the both of us.
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  • Profile picture of the author myeanne
    Be real and confident. Be honest and say the things that you really mean.
    Good luck mate.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jimmy Reilly
    Originally Posted by ramshankarN View Post

    i am a jolly and fun loving person who used to hang arround in mall and streets with boys.But i am very weak in girls department,that is in front of girls i will be calm,silent which is not me,Actually i feel very shy.
    so how to propose a girl :confused:
    Any suggestion

    Just hand her the prenup.

    - Reilly
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  • Profile picture of the author adeleadams
    Well just google how to propose a girl just kidding
    Just be Yourself and if you have a friend who is girl she can be a great help!
    We girls love the originality of the person nothing more required.
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  • Profile picture of the author tocbeadz
    proposing in front of her family and friends shows love & sincerity.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jimmy Reilly
      Originally Posted by tocbeadz View Post

      proposing in front of her family and friends shows love & sincerity.
      And adds to the humiliation when she turns you down...
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  • Profile picture of the author Tony Tikos
    Here's the trick with this one.... you have to know your gal.... know what places and things are important to her, or better yet, important and meaningful to the both of you. Just because you love baseball, doesn't mean she'll necessarily appreciate a proposal at a stadium.

    My fiancee proposed to me on a little family vacation we were having on the coast. We both love the ocean, and relaxing on the sand, so he chose sunset and got really creative with a little "message in a bottle" scenario. It was the details, that really got me and made his proposal so special.

    It doesn't have to be a big grand expensive affair, just make it really about her and or the two of you, and your bound to get a "yes".. just like my future husband did...

    Good luck !
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  • Profile picture of the author Pauline60
    Whether it is marriage or just asking her out the principle is the same. Make sure you are alone or at least not overheard, don't try to be flash or clever. Just tell her that you like her. If you are awkward it won't matter if she likes you too. Most girls/women quite like it when men are awkward as opposed to overly confident.
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  • Profile picture of the author ShaneM686
    Just do soemthing nice... ask a few girls what they would like or her good friend for tips.
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    • Profile picture of the author theyouthexpress
      Be Honest!! If you want to propose to girl then firstly Do something for her...After that say to girl "I want to spend my whole life with you...Will You Marry Me??" Try it mine friend...It'll work because I've also try this..Some of mine friend suggest me when i proposed first time to ma GF...:p
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  • Profile picture of the author Regional Warrior
    Well I guess this bait thread did not work for the op lol , have to luve the sence of humor in this thread

    I don't think this is what he had in mind at all lol , I think he was hoping for all the threads saying loverly words so he could write either a Article or E-Book

    Yep have to luve the Warriors on here:p
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  • Profile picture of the author dagaul101
    Best way to overcome your fears is to confront them, so a nice public place you both like to go to, might ease your fears
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  • Profile picture of the author andrew20
    Get a huge bouquet of flowers(her favourite flowers) and tell her how much you love her and tell her you would like to spend the rest of your life with her.
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