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Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..


Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?

Why can't
womenput on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?




I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?



Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while..
Spread the Stupidity!


  • Profile picture of the author Olga_Tarkhan
    Thank you, Patricia,

    I will gladly spread these words of wisdom around. Tomorrow (it's almost 10 PM here) my friends will be smiling and laughing the way I did while scrolling through your post.

    Best of everything,
    Olga
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    Yes, we need more funnies. This place is getting too serious between
    Kurt being distraught over the right fishing lures and K. Shiloh's incredibly
    crusty socks.

    Thanks,

    Ken
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    • Profile picture of the author waterotter
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      Yes, we need more funnies. This place is getting too serious between
      Kurt being distraught over the right fishing lures and K. Shiloh's incredibly
      crusty socks.

      Thanks,

      Ken
      LMAO, thanks Patrician and Ken.
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  • Profile picture of the author Olga_Tarkhan
    How can I ever thank you, Patricia? My first "thank you" here, I am not a virgin anymore...

    Kindest regards,
    Olga
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  • Profile picture of the author healthconverter
    Very funny. I've gotta steal a few of these.
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  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    This is way too awesome and funny! You made my day Patrician. Thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author Andie
    have we considered that crusty socks might make a good lure?
    (2birdies1stone)

    jus sayin....
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