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Do You Say Thanks?

by Sheryl Polomka
28 replies
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If you ask someone for a favour or even just a question and they give you an answer and may even go way out of their way to answer you - do you say thanks???

This is really peeving me off right now as there are just so many ungrateful people out there that you try and help and don't even get so much as a thank you for it.

I don't mind people PMing me for help or emailing me for help, and recently I've had quite a bit of both - but it saddens me that 80% of those people don't even have enough respect or manners to say thanks!

It really isn't that hard to hit the reply button and type 'thanks'.

Maybe it's the normal thing these days to expect help without offering a thank you in return - perhaps it's just the way that I was brought up - to respect people enough to show them that you appreciate their help with a thank you.

Come on people IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

End of rant
  • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
    Yes.. Always. Even if the reply didn't help me. I appreciate the time they spent in posting the reply to help me... I mean, it's not that hard to hit the reply button, you know.
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  • Profile picture of the author sarahberra
    Yes always. I try to say thank you with a smile all the time. I am one of those happy go lucky people.
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  • Profile picture of the author jointaldc
    There's a lot of ungrateful people on this earth. People who feel they deserve everything, no questions asked.

    Fortunately, I'm not one of them, I say thanks to everyone, whether it helped me or not. Because they took time out of their day to try to help me, and if that's not something to be thankful for, then we simply aren't appreciating another persons time.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    I think the problem is that a lot of people approach business (and life) thinking about themselves. The awareness that you went out of your way to help them out isn't even there. They ask a question and care about the answer, without even realizing the answer came from somebody who went out of their way to help you.

    I am not justifying the action of not saying thanks, just trying to explain what I think goes on in a lot of peoples minds. It's not that they are purposely trying to be rude or not that they aren't thankful, but they are too caught up in whats in it for them (the answer) that they forget about everything else.


    I gave you a thanks to make up for it though
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  • Profile picture of the author EA
    First of all thanks for writing this Sheryl Polomka here is my reply...

    I say thanks and.. sometimes I sent a gift over seas to warriors too. I pay for all the postage and shipping. But why do I do this. I believe if you give, you will always get it back in some kind of form or a gift, it could be a fun laughter from someone, or it could be a beautiful smile that makes your day, it could be a start of a friendship or if the car breaks down on the road someone appears to help you out and it could be a start of a new relationship. It is wonderful to give and to be good with others.

    Say thanks it could do miracles on the other end!
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  • Profile picture of the author LisaCline
    Yes, I do. I never forget to say thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author burnbebe
    Sad to say that most of these people who don't have the habit of saying "thank you," or even saying "please" and "excuse me" are the younger ones. Their values are different from ours. =(
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    • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
      Originally Posted by burnbebe View Post

      Sad to say that most of these people who don't have the habit of saying "thank you," or even saying "please" and "excuse me" are the younger ones. Their values are different from ours. =(
      This is true too. I try and teach my kids to say thanks, even if they buy something at the shop I encourage them to say thanks to the shop assistant - even though we are paying for the item, I still tell them to say thanks.

      And it was a nice feeling when one day going through the checkout at a shop and my kids said 'thank you' to the lady, she was really grateful for having them thank her. She told me that it is very rare that kids say thanks to her when they go through the checkout and that it was so nice to see some kids with manners.
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  • Profile picture of the author theentry
    Always, and I think that's a must.
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  • Profile picture of the author Martin2010
    Shezza you are spot on girl.

    I always try my best to say thanks and here are a few thanks for your post.

    thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks,
    thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks,
    thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks,
    thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks,
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    sheryl,

    For what it is worth, I have to ALMOST REALLY ***BITE MY TOUNGE*** if I DON'T want to say thanks. I often say thanks even if ANOTHER thanks me for helping THEM!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    Yepp.. I learned as a child to always say thanks and please!
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  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    I agree manners cost nothing!
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by Sheryl Polomka View Post

    If you ask someone for a favour or even just a question and they give you an answer and may even go way out of their way to answer you - do you say thanks???<snip>
    If I can help, I'll likely do so, but won't stress myself by expecting any kind of reward, eg a thanks. My late grandfather (an irresponsible and kindly playboy with some wisdom I think) once told me, don't do charity for self-gain such as gratitude from others, just knowing you helped should be reward enough.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      If I can help, I'll likely do so, but won't stress myself by expecting any kind of reward, eg a thanks. My late grandfather (an irresponsible and kindly playboy with some wisdom I think) once told me, don't do charity for self-gain such as gratitude from others, just knowing you helped should be reward enough.
      Well I agree, and I do help simply because I can and I do find it self rewarding just to be able to offer help. So I don't help people simply to expect something in return - having said that my view is also that is someone helps me I thank them - it's respectful, it's good manners, it's not that hard.

      I don't 'expect' a thanks, but it is nice to receive one!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kim Davis
    I have to say for quite sometime on here when I started I didn't realize there was a thanks button or even noticed where it was. So maybe some of the newer people don't realize what that button is for.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
      Originally Posted by Kim Davis View Post

      I have to say for quite sometime on here when I started I didn't realize there was a thanks button or even noticed where it was. So maybe some of the newer people don't realize what that button is for.
      I'm referring more to people just replying to a PM or Email to say thanks when you've helped them with something, rather than whether people use the thanks button.

      I like the thanks button, it's a great idea just to be able to show your thanks to a particular post. But I still think a 'normal' thanks doesn't hurt when someone helps you out.
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      • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
        Sheryl, judging from your last name, your family comes from the old country and you probably had a bit of a strict upbringing. Am I right?

        I know I did. We were taught to respect people, and good manners was always a very important part of my upbringing. I passed that on to my son. He's almost 19 and always uses "please" and "thank you".

        Although thunderbird is right, you shouldn't expect anything when you do something for someone, it's always nice to deal with people who have the proper manners. So I hear you!

        Someone mentioned it was mostly the younger folks with no manners. Well, people of all ages have good or bad manners, and they pass their manners or lack thereof to their children. So sometimes it's not the person's fault that they have bad manners, because they just don't know any better.
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        • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
          Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

          Sheryl, judging from your last name, your family comes from the old country and you probably had a bit of a strict upbringing. Am I right?

          I know I did. We were taught to respect people, and good manners was always a very important part of my upbringing. I passed that on to my son. He's almost 19 and always uses "please" and "thank you".

          Although thunderbird is right, you shouldn't expect anything when you do something for someone, it's always nice to deal with people who have the proper manners. So I hear you!

          Someone mentioned it was mostly the younger folks with no manners. Well, people of all ages have good or bad manners, and they pass their manners or lack thereof to their children. So sometimes it's not the person's fault that they have bad manners, because they just don't know any better.
          Karen that's my married name it is Polish but I believe my husbands family has been here in Australia for a few generations now.

          I was actually born in Scotland so have a british background, but yes we were brought up to your our manners and to me it is just the right thing to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kecia
    I tend to add "thanks in advance" to any email or message I send asking for help or an answer. I know that no one is obligated to assist me so I want them to know I appreciate whatever it is they are doing, even if it is just taking 30 seconds of their day to reply to my message. I then follow up with another thank you once the answer/help has been received.
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  • Profile picture of the author Trivum
    Yes, it's an issue. I find myself saying "thanks" with the "thanks button" more lately because I know people appreciate it. Before I would just say "thanks" in the post itself, but I know people like the game of seeing their "thanks" number go up.

    I also have a site where this unappreciative attitude is evident too. Someone will email me asking a question, and I will take 20-30 minutes writing a detailed, personal response to them, and then I will never hear from them again. This happens 98% of the time.

    But there's an old tried and true marketing lesson in this -- people just want to know, "What's in it for ME?" ... So give them the what's in it for them - but demand their money in return.
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  • Profile picture of the author geegel
    As someone used to say: "The Media Is the Message". People tend to behave differently online than in real life. The social etiquette is I'm afraid one of the first victims. Still, if it's worth anything, the WF is one the most civilized corners of the Internet and I've seen a few. It can get much, much worse.

    Regards,
    George
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  • Profile picture of the author infoman66
    It is not hard to say thanks ..

    I do not like to ask ..
    I do not like to kneel down ...
    But when help arrives ...
    Thanks not be avoided ...
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  • Profile picture of the author eZwerge
    Great to see that the warriors seem to be considerate people. I completely agree though, ungratefulness drives me wild. If you feel you might not be able to say thanks afterwards, e.g. might not read the reply on a random forum (not that we would go there.. thanks in advance is half way there

    Cheers for the post
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  • Profile picture of the author David Ford
    Hi Sheryl
    I agree totally with you, there would appear to be a total lack of manners around these days.
    My father drummed into me that manners maketh man, and i have instilled that into my own children.
    Having and saying thanks for everything sets the tone for any conversation or transaction, and it really p......s me off as well when thanks are not returned.
    It is also surprising what happens when you say thank you to the universe for everything that happens to you good and bad.....
    Try it and see...
    Costs nothing to say thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author thatgirlJ
    This holds true in the offline world as well The head of the outreach committee at my church helps dozens of families every holiday season (and year-round) with food, gifts, clothing, and money...he's gotten 2 thank-you letters in all the years he's been doing it.

    Sad.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
      Originally Posted by Jenn Dize View Post

      This holds true in the offline world as well The head of the outreach committee at my church helps dozens of families every holiday season (and year-round) with food, gifts, clothing, and money...he's gotten 2 thank-you letters in all the years he's been doing it.

      Sad.
      That is really sad actually to help people that are in such drastic need and still not receive a thanks. Oh I could only imagine if I was in that situation I would be so grateful for someone reaching out and helping me - how can they not be thankful for that!
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  • Profile picture of the author nigelzephyr
    yup. it has been my habit to say thanks. it doesnt matter who did the favor..
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