Baby sitters want more money

Michael Oksa

13 years ago

I would want somebody more responsible than that watching my kids.

~Michael

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myob

13 years ago

Have you got an extra room instead?

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Scott Ames

13 years ago

Originally Posted by myob

Have you got an extra room instead?

Sure!! Move in!!

They've "borrowed" money twice in the past, just $100 each time, but they never mentioned it again, never repaid. They've gone the extra mile in watching the kids and never complain if we are running late to pick them up so I never pushed it.

This is different however. That's where my kids are all day. Are they getting fed? Are they going to be so caught up in their bills that they ignore my kids? Are the kids going to disappear and be sold to pay bills? All kinds of weird things are going through my head.

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Bekah Howard

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Scott Ames

They've "borrowed" money twice in the past, just $100 each time, but they never mentioned it again, never repaid. They've gone the extra mile in watching the kids and never complain if we are running late to pick them up so I never pushed it.

If they borrow money (wording it as borrowing themselves) and don't pay it back and don't have you garnish it from their next pay, then there is only really 3 possibilities in my mind.

1 - They have extenuating circumstances going on right now (usually they will mention this when borrowing)
2 - They forgot.
3 - They are irresponsible with their money and are living beyond their means.

This being the third time they have asked for extra money makes me lean towards option 3... I'm not saying this automatically means they are bad babysitters, but this may be something you want to keep a close eye on. If you ever give extra money for activities (pool passes, museum admission, etc) you might want to ask for receipts to make sure the money actually goes towards what you intended. I'm not going to tell you to keep or fire your sitters, but I hope you can work things out to be the best for your children.

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Scott Ames 13 years ago

Originally Posted by Michael Oksa

I would want somebody more responsible than that watching my kids.

~Michael

That's what I'm thinking too.. They have done a great job in the past but now I'm worried.
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Pauline60

13 years ago

I think its time to review your childcare arrangements. This sounds a bit dodgy to me. Its like they have tried it on twice with $100 and since you went along with that and didn't as for it back then they are safe to go for a larger amount. After all childcare is a business arrangement and they should not ask for more than the agreed fee.

I may be misjudging these people as I do not know them but to me this does not sound right at all.

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seasoned

13 years ago

Well, do you pay them enough for them to handle such things? Many pay teenagers to take care of their kids. Unfortunately, today, even some "adults" don't seem to understand ridiculously simple rules of physics and weak points of humans. It is ASTOUNDING that they THEMSELVES can even SURVIVE!

HECK, I paid one guy to water my lawn, and had to FIRE him because he kept leaving the water on ALL NIGHT! My water bill increased like 500%, and my gardner was complaining that the lawn was too wet to cut properly. My sump pump was even running a LOT! I wouldn't have had him watching kids.

Steve

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Kay King 13 years ago

That's where my kids are all day. Are they getting fed? Are they going to be so caught up in their bills that they ignore my kids?

My concern would be exposing my kids to a household where tension over rmoney is apparently so high. A great job in the past may not be what they are doing now.

Your children may be overhearing conversations about money, etc, they don't need to hear and though I'm sure they are fed - I'd want to know WHAT they are eating.

You have one obligation - and that is to your children. They need to spend their days with people who are upbeat and positive and interacting with them - and I doubt that's happening in this situation.

I would not hesitate for a moment to move my children to a new day care. Only you know how these folks interact with your kids - but I would be worried if I were you.

kay
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- pickthat apple 13 years ago
  
  It is a recurring fact that the baby sitters ask for money (you say "they"...are they two, three...and do they share an accomodation?).
  It is not one off because they had an emergency and they cannot come to work, it is because it has been quite easy and straightforward to get a small loan in the past and now the request has been increased.
  So either:
  n. 1) they cannot look after their money
  n. 2) since it is so easy to get extra money let's get some more
  n. 3) they want to move job and they are try to get to that in a subtle way rather than a direct communication.
  
  In any case I would let them go but, before that, say no to the $700 loan and let them work for a couple of months.
  
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HeySal

13 years ago

I don't get it. If their pay isn't high enough to meet their bills why are they not looking for a different, higher paying job or at least increasing their hourly rates instead of borrowing money? If you run a business and your rates are too low, you are going to run into the dumpster. You can't bid jobs under costs for very long.

It would be good to know that they understand kids better than they understand business.

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Sal
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seasoned

13 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

I don't get it. If their pay isn't high enough to meet their bills why are they not looking for a different, higher paying job or at least increasing their hourly rates instead of borrowing money? If you run a business and your rates are too low, you are going to run into the dumpster. You can't bid jobs under costs for very long.

It would be good to know that they understand kids better than they understand business.

Well, I won't cover what could be deemed, but really SHOULDN'T be, political, but a lot of people now want a "livable wage" for even the most menial of jobs. They see NO reason why they shouldn't ask for perhaps $2000+ a month REGARDLESS of job.

Historically, taking care of kids has been a rather low paid job. Most people have been younger, and LOVE the spending money, or have been older with it augmenting a fixed income. You COULD increase value and lower costs, if you have the resources to take care of more kids at once in your own place. I saw one documentary about places in new york that are doing that. They managed to make it a social symbol, and teach kids, so they cover all the bases and charge a veritable fortune. Of course most people in the area make a LOT, and space is LIMITED.

ANOTHER way, that you will see in many older movies, etc... and which has been great for foreign travelers, has been to cover costs they MIGHT have had to pay by giving them spare resources! Maybe a spare room, food to cook, use of the kitchen, and maybe even a spare car! So nearly all the money is SPARE money! I don't think the IRS has even "wised up" to this! You could give a person effectively a salary of $5000/month BUT, because only about $200/month or so is actually cash, THAT is what they owe taxes on! SERIOUSLY, a small place could cost THOUSANDS, a car and a place to park can add up, and all the food you can eat and a nice address, etc? It can REALLY add up. But they are assets YOU may never use.

But some people just figure they can come in and charge ANY price. 8-( Frankly, the babysitter should be able to handle all their standard bills in a reasonable way, and know about first aid. Ideally, they should LOVE the job.

Taking care of kids can be difficult. I have had to watch kids at amusement parks, watch kids in Sunday school, etc.... I have deemed it as something I just NEVER want to do. It is different with your OWN kids where you can set expectations, and they are dependent on you, etc... Some kids just act VERY different when they are only watched by "strangers".

Steve

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Kay King 13 years ago

But the point is not what the finances and money management problems the "sitter" has.

It's not about "living wages" either.

It's about Scott making certain his children are properly cared for and that he is not being taken advantage of.

kay
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HeySal

13 years ago

Steve - of course people want to make living wages. Why would anyone choose to work a full time job and not earn enough to eat and pay bills without having to decide which takes precedence all the time?

I disagree that not earning enough to meet bills is irresponsibility on its own merit. Look what has happened to prices in the last few years. When I was in Washington I got hit with rent increases, utility increases, and a general increase of food and gas prices all at once. I was single and the only income in the house. Having to stretch to be able to meet those sudden rises was irresponsible? Bite that.

Being broke does not mean a person is incapable or irresponsible unless they continue to accept that way of life. Scott's sitter might be fantastic with the kids. The question is whether she is trying to find some way to exist that will actually support her. The current economy isn't really the best place for someone to find a way to support themselves and she might be between a rock and a hard place. The question is whether she is just sitting around and accepting it or whether she is trying to find a way to better the situation.

Scott - Since this is a woman in charge of your kids and it's you that she feels she can turn to for financial help, perhaps, you might want to sit down and talk to her about her problem and see whether there is actually a problem she's trying to solve and not doing well solving. We can see rent is a problem, but does she know all her options for solving her financial crisis without having to continually borrow - things like getting financing for school so she can find a better job or setting up as a daycare so she can take care of a few more kids during the week. She might be looking for something that pays better and is scared that you might fire her if you find out she's looking for something more substantial. Employers do that. I've had it done to me.

If you let her know you understand that she needs to research her options and make decisions and that you are willing to talk to her about it, you may find her very receptive to some advice. She may not have anyone else she can talk to about it and may need the coaching. If she brushes off the offer to brainstorm, then you can start worrying about her level of responsibility and ability to handle your children.

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Sal
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seasoned

13 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Steve - of course people want to make living wages. Why would anyone choose to work a full time job and not earn enough to eat and pay bills without having to decide which takes precedence all the time?

Yeah, I know, but baby sitting is usually NOT a full time job.

I disagree that not earning enough to meet bills is irresponsibility on its own merit. Look what has happened to prices in the last few years. When I was in Washington I got hit with rent increases, utility increases, and a general increase of food and gas prices all at once. I was single and the only income in the house. Having to stretch to be able to meet those sudden rises was irresponsible? Bite that.

Gee, I DID say that the finances weren't the whole deal.

Being broke does not mean a person is incapable or irresponsible unless they continue to accept that way of life. Scott's sitter might be fantastic with the kids. The question is whether she is trying to find some way to exist that will actually support her. The current economy isn't really the best place for someone to find a way to support themselves and she might be between a rock and a hard place. The question is whether she is just sitting around and accepting it or whether she is trying to find a way to better the situation.

Doing a job such as baby sitting is not something you should base your life on, unless you DO have a service where several pool resources such that it pays for everything. Being capable or responsible, in part, means that you make sure you don't generally have such problems. EVERYONE has them from time to time. I have had UNEXPECTED expenses and had to cover them, and came up short, but I handled it, etc...

Scott - Since this is a woman in charge of your kids and it's you that she feels she can turn to for financial help, perhaps, you might want to sit down and talk to her about her problem and see whether there is actually a problem she's trying to solve and not doing well solving. We can see rent is a problem, but does she know all her options for solving her financial crisis without having to continually borrow - things like getting financing for school so she can find a better job or setting up as a daycare so she can take care of a few more kids during the week. She might be looking for something that pays better and is scared that you might fire her if you find out she's looking for something more substantial. Employers do that. I've had it done to me.

All great ideas, and reasonable, but the baby sitter is lucky Scott isn't treating her like the IRS would. With the IRS, if you don't "repay", they have customers WITHHOLD some percentage.

If you let her know you understand that she needs to research her options and make decisions and that you are willing to talk to her about it, you may find her very receptive to some advice. She may not have anyone else she can talk to about it and may need the coaching. If she brushes off the offer to brainstorm, then you can start worrying about her level of responsibility and ability to handle your children.

Now THAT is a good idea. If she is responsible, she will WELCOME the help. If she refuses the help, she may do so abruptly and in an insulting way. It will further clarify the relationship.

Steve

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Floyd Fisher

13 years ago

Something definitely is not right in the money department.

They got problems, and they are taking you with them.

You can handle this two ways:

1. Find out what the real problem is, and help them fix it.

2. Get out of there...and fast.

If I were you, I would pick option two at this point. You're don't know what the problem is (could be anything)....and it may be more than you can handle.

I sincerely hope you didn't loan the money. You're definitely not a bank.

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Don Schenk

13 years ago

Scott, it sounds to me like they are working on you. It's a compliance tactic called consistency to commitment. Get someone to give a little, then ask again. Next increase the amount of the "favor," and on it goes.

I had an employee do this, and I fell for it only to discover she had been stealing from me, and borrowing money from customers! Stupid me.

:-Don