What do you tell your kid in how to deal with a bully?

That's why you shouldn't assault a guy twice your size I guess. Pretty simple rule to follow. Mess with a bull, you get the horns!

If the little kid really did deserve it, if he were maimed or killed, I wouldn't have cared. The world has FAR too many bullies. If not for the law, it would be VERY obvious to all. One thing I have realized is that these guys often DON'T stop. It just becomes less obvious than "bullying".

Bullies are usually bigger, because they are COWARDS! They pick on smaller people because they are lazy and want some asset, or they feel it makes them feel better to "win", or they feel it helps them in social areas. If this little guy really did start it, it is because he felt the kid would never fight back. People's tempers are like a gigantic spring. Some have springs that are a little thicker, and they may fight back even as you do. HECK, some are even compressed a little, and a TOUCH may cause them to fight. Some springs may seem pretty skinny. You can push, and push, and push, but eventually you may slip, turn your back, or push too far, and that spring may pop out and who knows WHAT will happen. So it is pretty stupid to assume a person will NEVER fight back. And strength really doesn't mean that much sometimes.

Steve

Well, there have been a lot of responses, and I can't help but weigh in on the side of the bullied that had finally had enough. Bullies tend to take advantage of those they see as weaker than them, and keep it that way through intimidation and physical force. Sometimes, when you've just had enough, you have to retaliate, and sometimes that means physical violence. I refer to a time back in my own life.

A lightweight and short member of the fourth grade way back in 1961, I was the recipient of a bully's attentions. I was perhaps 90 or 100 lbs dripping wet, one of the shortest in my class, and he was a year older and clearly outweighed me by at least 50 lbs. This fellow decided he would systematically separate me from my milk money, and was quite irritated when I didn't have any. (at that time, subsidized milk cost around 3 cents a day.) He wasn't the brightest bulb in the circuit, because he often chose afternoons, on the way home from school to strike. He would appear out of a yard about two or three blocks from my home, demanding money. When I didn't produce, he would pummel me and run on. We lived about a half mile from the school, and of course, the school wouldn't even acknowledge the incidents, much less do anything about it. I tried different routes home, but it was if he had a sixth sense about the route I'd take, still nailing me almost daily. It began with a half or full nelson, followed by kidney punches, and if I didn't produce, at least a bloody nose before he was satisfiede enough to let me go home. Nothing seemed to help, and calls to the school resulted in a deaf ear.

One day, I'd had more than enough, and somehow managed to get out to his "haunts" before him. I climbed into a tree that overhung the sidewalk and waited. Almost on schedule, he trod up the street, then slowed, looking back, waiting for me to appear. As he passed under me, I dropped out of the tree right on top of him, driving him almost into the sidewalk. Though I didn't weigh all that much, the effect of a good ten foot drop was pretty satisfying. I made certain that he knew it was me, so there would be no mystery what had happened later. I really doubt that the punches I added had any real effect. Once he finally got up, he ran off with a bloody nose, crying and screaming all the way towards home. I don't know if I could have done any real damage to him physically, but the effect of his prime target actually fighting back had a positive effect, at least from my perspective. He never bothered me again, but did choose a different "mark" to persecute on their way home, so all he learned was to not mess with me.

Sometimes you just gotta respond to a bully, and though as an adult, I really believe that the use of physical violence shows a loss of emotional control (a bad thing) I still believe I acted properly at the time. After all, it made the rest of the fourth grade rather uneventful, and I could actually walk to and from school without the fear of being beat up on an almost daily schedule.

The problem recurred at another school when I was in the seventh grade, and I found that if you carried a sharpened can opener (way before pop-tops), the bullies moved on to easier targets after a slash or two. Again, perhaps not the best response, but at perhaps 110 lbs dripping wet, coming into the school district from another school, and no history of any sport (this was way before the word "nerd" was invented) I was an automatic target for the schoolground bullies until I stood my ground.

Years later, military training changed my attitude about physical violence, and taught me many "interesting" ways to cause pain or even death without significant effort (or perhaps even much in the way of evidence), but hasn't changed my feelings about violence. It is, (and should be) after all, the last resort, and knowing what I know now, would likely result in what my trainers in the service referred to "collateral damage." Not necessarily traceable to my person...

Though I wouldn't condone violence as a first response, there are times it still may be justified. It's all part of a process, an escalation of response, from initial verbal parry, perhaps the legal system and barring all else, violence is perhaps worth the effort. Only the individuals involved can determine what is justified, but unfortunately, the person that is the recipient of the ministrations of a bully is often in a mental state that makes it difficult to think rationally.

Unfortunally, in the litigous society in which we live (United States), though the bullied can rarely get any help, once he finally lashes out and responds in like kind, he is likely to be sued by the bully, even if the response is more than justified by the events leading up to the final event when the bullied individual snaps and takes things into their own hands.

It's a sad state of affairs, overall, where someone that is being bullied has to resort to physical violence, but I can certainly see why it is needed and feel there are definitely times where you just can't take any more... regardless of the possible repercussions.

Frankly, I'm glad my sister learned self defense. The scumbags deserved the broken bones she administered to them. Most other girls would have experienced a much uglier outcome, I guarantee it.

Fortunately they are both tall broad and have long arms... just from wrestling around I feel pretty confident they will be able to take care of themselves... They wear me out thats for sure.

They had pony tails back then...and they have pony tails now.... uh...cept now the pony tails come out the front of the head - Carmen (contemporary christian music artist)