what will you do if you fall in love with married woman?

Profile picture of the author nisar75 by nisar75 Posted: 04/07/2011
what will you do if you fall in love with married woman?..

  • Profile picture of the author LastWarrior
    LastWarrior
    I don't think it would happen with me to start with. Having
    Spiritual values help me in that situation. I would not let my
    mind go there... to let such a relationship escalate to the point
    where my feeling are even approaching letting me love a married
    woman. I couldn't bare the thought of ruining a relationship
    between a married couple, nor could I let myself become involved,
    hence the reason I control my thoughts.

    I could understand though how people can fall for a married
    person. Especially if they are working together all the time or in a
    situation where they see that person every day. It's hard not to
    like someone that we like. You just can't un-like someone. I once
    really liked an employee of mine. I found her beautiful outside as
    well as beauty within. I never gawked at her and was constantly
    changing my thoughts when those impure moments came about.
    She wasn't even married, but had a boyfriend. Still, couldn't go
    there.

    So to answer your question directly, since it's only hypothetical,
    I'd most likely find a way to get myself away from that situation
    or learn to deal with my emotions, but don't follow up on them.

    And if you've fallen for a married woman, I surely do not envy
    your situation and hope the best for you and the outcome.

    LastWarrior
  • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
    pickthat apple
    A married woman is a woman after all, albeit she may be married for the wrong reasons or not having a clue why she ended up married.
    This is why one does not have to get married just to have a nice party.
  • Profile picture of the author thomaskiel01
    thomaskiel01
    That's tough, emotions sometimes is uncontrollable, it's easy to say something but it's hard to do, and sometimes we can do something wrong because of what we feel. We fell inlove in the wrong way, we just woke up falling inlove to the person we see everyday or talk. But sometimes we have to think first before we follow what we feel. Because we might hurt many lives because of our own desires to follow what's in our heart, sometimes we have to take risk, decide not for ourselves but for other person own good.

    Sometimes you have to let go of what you feel because you might destroy a life, and that's not good anymore.
  • Profile picture of the author glchandler
    glchandler
    what will you do if you fall in love with married woman?.
    Been doing that almost daily for at least 18 years.

    But then I have been married to her all that time!
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Patrician
    I am so glad that the people who have posted here have ethics and real hearts.

    It is a no-win situation to fall in love with someone who is not available. It can destroy people and you should put others before yourself -- and it will help you get over it.

    It can ruin a family - that is children - it can really screw them up - it can break the husbands heart - AND it can break your heart in the long-run.

    It can even lead to murder.

    So - just say NO to your heart and your hormones and let your logic dictate.
  • Profile picture of the author busybob121
    busybob121
    Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

    I am so glad that the people who have posted here have ethics and real hearts.

    It is a no-win situation to fall in love with someone who is not available. It can destroy people and you should put others before yourself -- and it will help you get over it.

    It can ruin a family - that is children - it can really screw them up - it can break the husbands heart - AND it can break your heart in the long-run.

    It can even lead to murder.

    So - just say NO to your heart and your hormones and let your logic dictate.

    your kind of getting ahead of your self try not to scare the guy by saying murder
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Patrician
    Not so -

    I watch real life forensics shows all the time and sometimes it is the husband that gets murdered, sometimes the 'lover' - sometimes an innocent bystander. Sometimes the guy is played by the adulturess to get rid of her husband - he ends up in prison and she gets a new boyfriend.

    He needs to be scared.
  • Profile picture of the author gslauen
    gslauen
    Is this a new PLR I haven't seen yet?
  • Profile picture of the author Sunfyre7896
    Sunfyre7896
    Absolutely nothing, unless she's separated. Married people are not meant to be dated or slept with on the side unless they are separated and leaving their husband already. You don't want to be "that guy," and the reason she left her husband. For all of you that believe in the fate thing, I can respect your opinion, but there really are many other single women out there that you can love and be with. Respect the sanctimony of a marriage if they are still living together and not separated. . . And I wouldn't fall in love with a married woman as that would require me to date and for us to be together which goes against what I believe in already. Maybe I'm becoming outdated, what does everyone else think?
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Kay King
    When you fall for someone who is married it means one of two things:

    1. You are in love with an idea of what someone "is"

    2. The married person has made herself a bit too available

    It happens a lot - thus affairs and divorces. However, when children are involved it becomes a tawdry story.

    On the other hand, if you are "in love" and she doesn't feel the same...leave her alone.
  • Profile picture of the author ThomM
    ThomM
    I feel in love with a married women and ended up marrying her, but...
    Falling in love with her was something that happened over the time I knew her when she was with her husband, and I didn't let my feelings be known until after she decided to leave him (because he was a drunk and abusive).
  • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
    Steven Wagenheim
    People are assuming things from the OP that they shouldn't assume.

    Some married women don't let you know that they're married until it's too
    late. By that time, the damage is done.

    If you fall in love with a married woman without knowing, it's not your fault.

    Having said that, it still sucks and the best thing to do, until she decides
    between you and her husband, is to break it off...cold. That will force her
    hand.

    If you fall in love with a married woman, knowing all along she's married, well,
    you're just looking for trouble. And yes, I am speaking from experience.

    When I was 20 years old I fell in love with a 32 year old. I knew she was
    married but she was so nice to me (something rare in those days) that I
    couldn't help myself. But she made it clear that we could only be friends. I
    guess she didn't realize what was happening.

    I was miserable, for a while, but got over it.

    3 years later, I met my wife.

    We've been married for over 26 years.

    Sometimes sh*t happens and it's not something you can do anything about.

    There is an old saying..."The heart wants what the heart wants."
  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    John Durham
    I fell in love with a married woman , married her, 14 years later some other guy did the same thing to me... and she did me the same way she did her ex husband.

    But Im not bitter at the &/$%&#%@&$#***&&%##@&%$!!!!!!!

    Got a better deal now anyway
  • Profile picture of the author AlexR
    AlexR
    Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

    Not so -

    I watch real life forensics shows all the time and sometimes it is the husband that gets murdered, sometimes the 'lover' - sometimes an innocent bystander. Sometimes the guy is played by the adulturess to get rid of her husband - he ends up in prison and she gets a new boyfriend.

    He needs to be scared.
    I watch fictional CSI shows and they portray different results, so Patricia is wrong.

    So let's have a look at some numbers...

    30% - unfaithful wife gets killed by her husband

    30% - unfaithful wife kills husband

    20% - lover kills husband

    1o% - unfaithful wife gets done by her own kids

    7.5% - lover accidently kills unfaithful wife

    2.5% - the lover gets killed

    Seems to me that the odds are in favour of the lover...so go for it.

    Alex
  • Profile picture of the author davis cup
    davis cup
    I’ll make sure that married woman is my wife. ;-)
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Patrician
    I am not referring to 'fictional' programs. I am referring to actual true stories - with the real cops and real families and suspects in real court. (I think they are called like 'docudramas' - dramatized documentaries. (Investigative Discovery, Forensic Files, Snapped, I Almost Got Away With It, 48 Hours, FBI Files, etc - )

    I actually have a friend in REAL LIFE whose younger brother has been paralyzed from the neck down since his early twenties because he was dating the (separated) wife of a maniac. He was just getting out of his car to open her door. He is near 50 now and still laying there - and the maniac is out of jail, the woman is remarried.

    I guess you are trying to be funny. I am glad you can have such a cavalier attitude - guess you have never experienced the pain from any perspective in this scenario. I am happy for you.




    Originally Posted by AlexR View Post

    I watch fictional CSI shows and they portray different results, so Patricia is wrong.

    Alex
  • Profile picture of the author myeanne
    myeanne
    ignore the feelings, it doesn't make any sense at all.
    don't be a home wrecker and think of the consequences, it's hard but this is a sad true meaning of love.
  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    yukon
    You know it's hard times when Op spam an off-topic forum, with their Sig. :rolleyes:

    Originally Posted by nisar75 View Post

    what will you do if you fall in love with married woman?..
  • Profile picture of the author Last Stand
    Last Stand
    If you LOVE her, then set her free.

    Yeah Yeah, I know that is so cliche, sorry, but I know from experience. I was married, my true love got away and then years later I heard she divorced her psycho husband. I fell into the trap of reconnecting with her, I was miserable in my marriage. Things unraveled and I was soon kicked out by my wife and went to the one who I always wanted. I am happy I have her now, but so much pain and suffering has taken place for it. I have regrets, it's hard when my kids say, "I wish mommy and daddy were married again." My Lady now deals with the depression of being a home wrecker, she always feel responsible when my ex explodes on me. If I had to do it all over again, I would try counseling, divorce would've been my last option. It seems so selfish now, and I can't be with my family (my children). IDK, I just hope this helps. You have much to think about. I don't know your specific detials, but if I can spare one person the pain, then it's worth it.
  • Profile picture of the author ReikiGirl
    ReikiGirl
    Anything is possible and what is meant to be will be, married or not.

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