Hey Sal...Here Are The Results Of Our Entry

Even though I'm done with this business, I certainly owe you this much for all
the hard work you put into writing these lyrics.

Okay, here is what the judges had to say...

"Like other entries, this shows flashes of brilliance and I appreciate your
raw and unique musical approach. But to whom this song is directed to or
why is not clearly understood. You might also note that in order for the
listener to understand your lyric, they would have to have prior knowledge
to what you're writing/singing about. This approach doesn't work for those
of us who have no inside knowledge of which these lines refer to or the
context of a larger story. So, if your goal is to connect with a wider
audience, you can't simply assume we'll know whom or what you're talking
about. You'll need to provide a clear setup and understandable line-to-line
logic to help us follow the story

Overall, the song received a 6.277 score. Among the 10 songs I submitted
it came in 8th.

One thing I should point out is that your lyrics, for originality, got a 9
out of 10.

Only one of my own lyrics scored that high.

Where you need to work is on your lyrical structure and that will probably
come over time if you study the craft and actually learn how to write
structured lyrics. You've clearly proven that you have the imagination to
come up with some great songs if this is your first whack at it.

My best entry, ironically, was my show tune, scoring 7.44.

Maybe I'm just trying to write the wrong kind of music. My weak areas,
according to the judges, are not in my melodies but in my lyrics and stories.

They are either not original enough or not detailed enough.

That has been a common criticism of most of my songs. Too much inside
knowledge needed to know what the singer is singing about.

Here is what they said about my "best" entry, "I'm Not A Nerd"

There are lots of smart lines in this lyric and the basic idea is excellent.
Verse 2 is s stand-out. However, the song would be stronger if it were
more compact and effectively focused. By the end, the same idea is
repeated over and over, and the melodic structure starts to feel overlong.
Be concise. Write for clarity and impact. These are keys to great
songwriting. You have exceptional talent. I hope we'll hear more from you
in the years to come. Keep writing and learning the craft

Probably the best comments I've gotten in 30 plus years.

I do understand what I need to do, and this is no knock on you Sal.

I clearly have many flaws in my writing, especially in my lyrics, which seem
to consistently score lower than my music with few exceptions.

I either have to really knuckle down and force myself to write better lyrics,
which I think will, in turn, create better music, or I need to find a lyricist who
really knows his or her craft and can write lyrics that inspire me to write
great music, which I know I can do.

Two of my worst entries were songs I wrote to other people's lyrics. This
can't be a coincidence. I clearly either don't have the right kind of material
to write to OR I simply can't write for other people unless they are the top
professionals in the business. Point is, I write better when I write for myself
and always have.

Trouble with that is that my lyrics are still greatly flawed and until I can
improve them, I'm always going to be a 6 to 8 songwriter at best. I think I
had one song (one Caliban helped me with) that scored an 8 plus last year.

Everything else was in the 7s.

Ironically, my entries from last year scored higher. And I really thought
some of these songs were better

Anyway, if anybody wants to hear any of the other entries, I'm be happy
to post them.

Here are the 10 songs from best to worst.

I'm Not A Nerd - 7.44
When The Morning Comes Around - 7.33
Super Hero - 7.22
Spot In The Shade - 7.167
Killing Me - 7.11
Knife Through The Heart - 7
Puppet On A String - 6.44 (My personal favorite)
Freeze - 6.277
California - 6
Together Again - 5.56

Sal, for whatever it's worth, I love our song (my 6th favorite overall from
all the songs I've ever written.)

I hope that means something.