My proposal for faster-than-light travel.

bozz723

16 years ago

Amazing no one has thought of this before.

Thanks

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espacecadet Banned 16 years ago

[DELETED]

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- RobinSkeen 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by espacecadet
  
  But how would we get rid of that 'burned bacon' smell?
  
  That was just BAD.
  
  Thanks
  
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Ken Strong

16 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas

Noble prize for me?

You might qualify for an Ig Nobel prize:

http://improbable.com/ig/winners/

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bendiggs

16 years ago

Hmm...this idea has merit. If we can just inject the grease straight into the cloud, we can make every bolt greased, and we can just drop our astronauts straight into the clouds to catch their rides to space. The only problem I see is that we can't really aim the bolts where we want, so we'll just have to hope that the astronaut misses all the obstacles in his way.

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Kay King

16 years ago

Love that improbable research site! Found one product that probably shouldn't have made the list...from 2005 -

ECONOMICS: Gauri Nanda of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday.

That clock is produced and is selling well though I don't see how you start the day in a good mood if that's what wakes you up.

Also in 2005, an award interesting to computer users:

LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and others -- each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled.

Proving that patience may not always be a virtue:

PHYSICS: John Mainstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland, Australia, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1927 -- in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, slowly dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years.

Clearly John didn't have a terribly exciting life!

My personal favorite:

ORNITHOLOGY: Ivan R. Schwab, of the University of California Davis, and the late Philip R.A. May of the University of California Los Angeles, for exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches.

How do they know a woodpecker DOESN'T have a headache? That's the question.

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I think Thomas is really on to something here. The only refinement might be a method to bring them back home - or do we use disposable astronauts? Could create a huge opportunity in the astronaut job market.

kay

Thanks
1 reply

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Mike Wright 16 years ago

Actually, due to the very low friction, if you aimed the lightning horizontally
it might then hurtle around the planet in very low orbit disposing of any
asteroids, falling space junk and stupidly tall buildings and people etc.

If you also lowered it even more, the "flat Earth" folks dreams could become fact.
- Thanks
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Bai_Mike

16 years ago

Originally Posted by bendiggs

Hmm...this idea has merit. If we can just inject the grease straight into the cloud, we can make every bolt greased, and we can just drop our astronauts straight into the clouds to catch their rides to space. The only problem I see is that we can't really aim the bolts where we want, so we'll just have to hope that the astronaut misses all the obstacles in his way.

Scientist : Aw damn, that one hit Jupiter.

2nd Scientist : Next one's ready to fire

Thanks
1 reply

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HeySal 16 years ago

You people are silly. Actually, Tommy - why send astronauts when we can get rid of politicians this way. Silicone and water - perfect lube. So douse them in shaving cream and stand them on top of the Capitol Building. Make sure they go up instead of down though or they will make the faults slip and cause more damage than they do inside of the capitol building - LOL, okay, I'm kidding. We all know THAT'S not possible. Seriously though, we have to make sure they don't get into any wormholes either. Aliens would get very ticked at us if we started shuffling our politicians to remote gallaxies and they might be able to return them earlier than we sent them causing retro-economic implosions. Uh...oh wow. I guess they didn't tell us the whole story about 1929.
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When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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whateverpedia

14 years ago

As the only thing stopping all of us from becoming astronauts is the Earth's atmosphere, why not destroy the whole thing, the atmosphere I mean.

MY 5 POINT PLAN TO SAVE THE HUMAN RACE AND PLANET EARTH

1 Give everyone, except politicians, bankers, corporate crooks (sometimes called CEO's) and other ne'erdowells a space suit.

2 Collapse the Earth's atmosphere.

3 All people who don't fit into one of the excluded categories will be propelled into space.

4 The people will then drift across to the other side of the solar system where they will be retunited with the Earth as it follows its orbit.

5 As the Earth will have purged itself of the toxins left by the likes of Monsanto, BP, etc. by then, it will become a new Garden Of Eden, and the people will live happily ever after.

That should get me Nobels for science, peace and the environment.

Get in early and book me for speaking engagements before the rush starts (I only accept cash).