My Daughter Doesn't Need To Have a Boyfriend Until She's At Least 18!

by 118 comments
That recent marriage of the 51 year-old actor and the 16 year old girl - with her parents permission got me thinking.

Well not really.

My wife and I have already decided that our 13 year old daughter will not have a "love" interest until she's a legal adult.


- Boys can confuse a young lady who's certainly going to college.

- When boys and girls spend time alone certain things will happen.

- I was a young man once and I know the drill so I'm not going to buy the nice guy routine.

- I know it may be hard on her but - too bad, she's going to have to live with it and get over it.

- She is and will be driven everywhere she goes until 18, and communications with the parents of her BFFs will be ongoing and coordinated.


She wanted to go to the Harry Potter movie alone with her BFFs and my wife and I burst out laughing.

It was like a scene out of the Cosby show that we saw last week.

She's only 13 now but I guess it would be OK in a couple of years as long as one of the parents drops them off and picks them up.

I also know teenagers can be full of all sorts of tricks.

Good luck with your kids - I'm going to need it also.

All The Best!

TL
#off topic
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    God I hope for you that this was just a fun rant with no seriousness to it. Well, more actually I hope for HER that you are just being funny.
    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      God I hope for you that this was just a fun rant with no seriousness to it. Well, more actually I hope for HER that you are just being funny.
      I'm not sure what restrictions we'll set on our son (now a toddler) when he becomes a teen. I hitchhiked alone across Argentina when I was 15. I wouldn't let him do that.
    • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      God I hope for you that this was just a fun rant with no seriousness to it. Well, more actually I hope for HER that you are just being funny.
      It's gong to be a bummer for her and I hope she doesn't turn out gay or a wild woman, but we feel it's best to proceed this way.

      We're going to talk to the other parents and see if we can get a partnership on this matter.

      If none of her BFFs can have a boyfriend it makes it easier for all of them.

      All The Best!!

      TL
  • Profile picture of the author princeofirf
    In my country girls dont have Bf ...
    i am 18yr old boy and i dont have and never had GirlFriend ...
    Having relationship before marriage is considered very very bad in Our Country ..

    Is is Good or Bad ......?
    • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
      Originally Posted by princeofirf View Post

      In my country girls dont have Bf ...
      i am 18yr old boy and i dont have and never had GirlFriend ...
      Having relationship before marriage is considered very very bad in Our Country ..

      Is is Good or Bad ......?
      I am sure a girlfriend is better than that stated in your sig.
  • Profile picture of the author Thomas
    Originally Posted by TLTheLiberator View Post

    My Daughter Doesn't Need To Have a Boyfriend Until She's At Least 18!
    She may not NEED a boyfriend, but she probably will have one anyway, regardless of what you do.
    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Good luck with that
      Seriously, good luck with that.
      One of the heaviest burdens I carried raising my girls was remembering what I was like at their age
      We let them sorta date while teens, but I always had a talk with the boys first.
      I'd tell them I remembered what I was like at their age and if they touched my little girl very bad things would happen to them.
      Then I'd smile and say "Always remember. I've been to prison and I don't mind going back".
      Don't really know how well that worked, but it sure was fun to watch them pee themselves a little
  • Profile picture of the author brenda ashford
    been strict is good but you need to have some limits.Give your girl enough freedom because if you lock her up she will sneak out.You can stop her from been in love unless she is caged in the house all day.
    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      My wife and I have already decided that our 13 year old daughter will not have a "love" interest until she's of legal adult.
      You are missing something that's important. Know your child, raise a child you can trust who is not afraid to come to you with any problems or questions.

      Be involved in her life - be vigilant about what she does online and who her friends are and who is the "love of her life this week". You know you can't exert such relentless control - if you do, she'll get very good at hiding what she does and who she does it with.

      I'm so glad I had sons!
  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    I recommend the advice Michael Duncan Clarke's character on 2 1/2 Men gave Ryan Stiles' character concerning having a daughter: Bulk up.
    • Profile picture of the author mojojuju
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      I recommend the advice Michael Duncan Clarke's character on 2 1/2 Men gave Ryan Stiles' character concerning having a daughter: Bulk up.
      If somebody doesn't want their daughter running around with boys, it would help to also bulk the daughter up.
  • Profile picture of the author mediasurgeons
    Ever heard of the word rebellion?

    You're asking for trouble if you are genuinely serious.
  • Profile picture of the author scubasteve-cr
    Tsk tsk tsk, TL.

    Here's a hint for you: she's going to do it anyway. I don't understand strict parents. You're supposed to support your children. Shouldn't your daughter learn from her parents instead of the world? She will date anyway. She will have a boyfriend anyway. She just might *gasp* have sex anyway.

    You're leading down a dangerous road by being super-strict and not letting her date. Why would you do such a thing? Don't you love your daughter??
    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      ^ Yes he does, and therefore he doesn't want some little oik within 100 yards her.

      Dan

      PS: Good luck TL, think you may need it.
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    She'll probably feel left out when all of her friends are "dating" etc.
  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Well, she's already been told so she will be prepared.

    When she was 5 or 6...

    I remember, a little boy was trying to kiss her at a party at a restaurant and I wanted to throw him against the wall.

    I'm only kidding about wanting to throw him against the wall.

    TL
  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    TL, if you have any hopes of your plans working, you had better relocate to a remote private island and start home schooling!
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by waterotter View Post

      TL, if you have any hopes of your plans working, you had better relocate to a remote private island and start home schooling!
      Do yu KNOW of a worthwhile island that could be used like that?
  • Profile picture of the author dennyrichs
    nice thought but If u put lot of restriction on her.she will frustrated and may be she will not respect you that's why don't give her unnecessary restrictions.she should not be think that you have snatched her freedom.
  • Profile picture of the author ak1lz
    Imho... you are going to create far more problems than the ones you are avoiding.
  • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
    I really really hope you aren't serious. Smothering a teen to death will case you more grief than anything else. Protective, good parenting, watchful, yes. Smothering, over controlling, NO. Don't be surprised if she runs away.

    I shouldn't say this but it's true so why not. I'm reading a true crime story called "Love Hurts" this reminded me of the book. The parents were very controlling, super religious and forced this good sweet religious girl to break up with her boyfriend at 16. I'm not gonna say what happened but you can look it up it's not pretty.
    • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
      Originally Posted by valerieSONORA View Post

      I really really hope you aren't serious. Smothering a teen to death will case you more grief than anything else. Protective, good parenting, watchful, yes. Smothering, over controlling, NO. Don't be surprised if she runs away.

      I shouldn't say this but it's true so why not. I'm reading a true crime story called "Love Hurts" this reminded me of the book. The parents were very controlling, super religious and forced this good sweet religious girl to break up with her boyfriend at 16. I'm not gonna say what happened but you can look it up it's not pretty.
      Thanks for your thoughtful words.

      I know it can be a thin line between smothering and good solid parenting.

      I will try to walk that line.

      Thanks Again!!

      TL
  • Profile picture of the author Caleb Spilchen
    Just pointing this out.. Normal girls/boys at age 16 don't usually go for 55 year olds.

    Or maybe I'm just unusual?
  • Profile picture of the author Roaddog
    TL...

    Actually ValerieSONORA makes some sense...even tho she doesn't like football and boxing, Hey, we all have our quirks.

    There is a balance to be reached...that takes talent.

    Raised a daughter and now a son. I have a 'bucket list' to do when he reaches sixteen or is a half inch taller than me. ( whichever comes first) I write everything down and when he is that size (whichever comes first) I'm gonna knock his d^&* in the dirt.

    A balance...you see.:p

    The daughter was harder to raise tho...I must admit.

    Maybe I'm just more experienced the second time around.
  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    I have all boys with my oldest being 13. I don't forbid him to have a girlfriend, but he is pretty good. While many of his friends go from one girlfriend to another, he has only had one girlfriend which lasted quite a while and was very innocent.

    I am reasonably open with my boys and they know they can talk to me about anything at any time.

    Although I only have boys I come from a family of 2 girls. My Mum didn't allow us to have boyfriends and as a result it was all done in secrecy. My sister got pregnant when she was 18 (which is probably old for teenagers in todays standard but was young back then). I believe if she had been allowed to have a boyfriend and be more open then perhaps she wouldn't have rebelled and gotten pregnant at that age. Although she has the most beautiful daughter who is 25 now so it all worked out well and she married the guy and they are still together 25 years later.

    My point is, like many above, that if you are too strict then it could all blow up in your face if she rebels.

    I would rather have my sons bring their girlfriends home and know what they are doing than have them doing things in secrecy and possibly getting themselves into danger.
  • Profile picture of the author christopher jon
    I know it can be a thin line between smothering and good solid parenting.
    You are smothering.

    You don't think you are and you don't see it but you are.

    Good solid parenting is teaching your children values and the difference between right and wrong.

    You might as well throw a chastity belt on her and send her off to a nunnery until she is 18.

    Let kids be kids, you don't understand them and you're not supposed to.
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by christopher jon View Post

      You might as well throw a chastity belt on her and send her off to a nunnery until she is 18.
      Now THERE is an idea! BTW at 13, she could have a kid, and she MIGHT have ALREADY had sex!
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    15 - 18 is the perfect age for a girl to learn what she needs to know when she walks out that door. So what happens when she knows absolutely nothing because daddy was so possessive that nobody could get near her? You like dumb chicks? Keep her too sheltered and that's what you produce. You either want her to learn the facts in high school where the parents know each other and it can all be handled -- or you can let her walk out into the world like a lamb to the slaughter..........or worse yet, run off to get married to get away from a tyrant. That's what people do with tyrants, they duck and cover until they can run. Make it miserable enough for her because of your own problems dealing with a human growing up and she'll do you a favor and never look back when she leaves the house. Confinement is not protection -- it is prison.

    If you actually go to neighbors to get support for this insecurity - you also are not going to want to know what people are saying about you behind your back...and what your daughter hears about her dad.
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    You're just asking for trouble, IMO. If not in form of rebellion before she's of legal age, then in the form of a daughter who won't know how to deal with men or her emotions concerning men, sex, and all that goes with the territory when she's finally out from under your heavy hand. You'll be asking her to make adult decisions with no experience to base them on ... that's like throwing her to the wolves.
  • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
    The 16 year old in that other thread was a budding pop star. She got millions of dollars worth of publicity by marrying the guy. And I really doubt she is 16.

    If you let her (your daughter) have a boyfriend her age, she won't fall for a 50 year old. It's a win-win situation for both of you.

Next Topics on Trending Feed