To those married and with kids...

by man5
18 replies
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How do you do it?

For those that have 9 to 5 jobs. Have a wife and kids. How do you live like that? Personally, I find it scary and depressing to have that kind of life. I am still young(in early 20s) and I love the freedom I have.

I understand old timers here. Life was different back then when you were young. But doesn't it seem like just about every new marriage today ends with divorce? And taking care of kids is no easy task. That's way harder than any job in the world.

What you think?
  • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
    You don't have to get married or have kids if you don't want to.
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  • Profile picture of the author BloggingPro
    Originally Posted by man5 View Post

    What you think?
    I agree. I don't want a wife. I don't want kids. At least not now. I have girlfriends, or whatever, but nothing serious. If they want serious I steer them elsewhere. I don't want to waste their time.

    Many have called me a man-child because I "refuse to grow up." **** 'em. Honestly it's my life not yours. I don't mind being infamous though. If someone's life is so boring that they gotta talk down about mine, so be it.

    Sorry for the little rant there. lol. I have lots of family pushing me on Facebook as we speak to get married, settle down and have kids. I keep saying I haven't had my Charlie Sheen moment yet.

    I'm here all week!
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  • Profile picture of the author msmir75
    Each to its own. I love my kids and my family life, but at the same time I am glad my kids are getting older so I can start to enjoy more "freedom" than when I had when they were infants. To me having kids makes my life more meaningful, and they have taught me a lot. And at the same time, I have 2, a nice perfect number... I had a tubal ligation because I knew when enough would be enough. So I find it great to care for my kids and at the same time work on expanding my business and book marketing! I do have a part time job but I hope in time I will eliminate that as my business becomes more successful But no one should ever have kids just because of outside pressures. If you have any doubt about whether you want kids or not, I say assume at this point you won't unless you have a genuine change of heart down the road.
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  • Profile picture of the author promhut729
    Enjoy life the way each person is different, some like the freedom of single, some people like to enjoy his wife and children among the well-being.
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  • Profile picture of the author Audrey Harvey
    My husband of 25 years is my best friend. My two children are 8 and 11, and they're really nice young people, and I love their company. I'm very happy with my life. To each his own, my life wouldn't suit everyone and that's ok. We're all different.
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  • Profile picture of the author AmandaT
    My husband is my best friend and great company. Even if they aren't all mine, I always have around 5 children running around the house. I love it! Children are so optimistic it brightens my day. I love being busy. When I take a break from IM, I go running around and playing with the children. I couldn't imagine life any other way. Not to mention, I find nothing more satisfying than sharing my success with the person I love.

    Sure, I don't have all of the freedoms I used to have, but it is worth it! And I honestly do still have plenty of freedom. It might take a little more planning but I can still go out and have fun at night and go on vacation, not that I normally want a break from the family!
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    • Profile picture of the author john14317
      you have to manage all the things with priorities....
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  • Profile picture of the author tiwi
    It's simply a matter of choice...
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Many have called me a man-child because I "refuse to grow up.
      Having kids is a good way to keep that going
      Let's face it, an adult playing with a 2 year olds toy is just plain weird.
      Unless you have a two year old to play with it also.
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  • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
    Originally Posted by man5 View Post

    How do you do it?

    For those that have 9 to 5 jobs. Have a wife and kids. How do you live like that? Personally, I find it scary and depressing to have that kind of life. I am still young(in early 20s) and I love the freedom I have.

    I understand old timers here. Life was different back then when you were young. But doesn't it seem like just about every new marriage today ends with divorce? And taking care of kids is no easy task. That's way harder than any job in the world.

    What you think?
    Having young children goes in a flash (from when they are born till the age of ten) and it is a precious time.

    If you were to have a child, there would be plenty of people wanting to give you a break to enjoy your little one without the added responsibility of "owning" him/her.
    I would strongly recommend those breaks since they would be beneficial for you and the child.

    Having children with somebody deepens also the relation with the other person because you get to know him/her much better via the interaction with the child and eventually because the child will grow to resemble both parents in some way.

    Of course if the little one is having a bad day, no matter how cheerful you are and how many baby sitters you have lined up...eventually you will be miserable too!
    But there will be other times that he will make your day just with a sticky kiss...

    I don't know if taking care of kids is the hardest job in the world.
    But one full of uncertainties indeed.
    Even if you have all the will in the world to make it work, it is often not clear what is the best course of action to take. You are creating a brand new person there, and what works for another baby may not work for yours.

    In any case I would not recommend committing yourself in a marriage or having children unless you are certain that you feel that way inclined.
    (PS nowadays they seem to settle down in their thirties rather than in their twenties)
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  • Profile picture of the author kellyburdes
    That stats on divorce are kinda messed around by those who have been divorced before, because they are very likely (60% +) to have another one.

    If you look at people, both of them going into their first marriage, the numbers are much less scary. In that case under 40% of marriages end in divorce, in other words, well over 50% stay together.



    Originally Posted by man5 View Post

    But doesn't it seem like just about every new marriage today ends with divorce?
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by man5 View Post

    How do you do it?

    For those that have 9 to 5 jobs. Have a wife and kids. How do you live like that? Personally, I find it scary and depressing to have that kind of life. I am still young(in early 20s) and I love the freedom I have.

    I understand old timers here. Life was different back then when you were young. But doesn't it seem like just about every new marriage today ends with divorce? And taking care of kids is no easy task. That's way harder than any job in the world.

    What you think?
    Your question seems dated, like from another era. 9-5?It actually made me laugh. Did you write this question before you were born, like in 1974? Are there still people who work 9-5, lol. Most people I know get contract jobs, forget 9-5. You'll find most people who work "9-5" nowadays live in China or India, where most manufacturing has been outsourced. If you don't want to have children, you're probably better off not having them. Kids thrive with devoted parents, not with someone resentful and trapped by their existence.
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  • Profile picture of the author M A Kay
    I agree with you man5 but if its God's way and plan for me to get married and have some kids then my pleasure..i just hope i can handle everything
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  • Profile picture of the author IceMustang
    Married with a baby. I love it. I don't really feel like I have lost any personal freedoms, but then again, I was never a partier to begin with.
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