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Bullying, hate, and racism.. let's get rid of it.

by Justin Says
12 replies
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I know hate crimes have been going on since the beginning of time and it's likely they won't stop anytime soon. But it just astounds me to see that there are still such hateful people in this world.

When I was in high school, I was picked on, bullied, and everything else you can think of. I didn't come from a bad area, nor did I provoke any of the situations I was put in.

But that was high school (now my lifes completely different and far better).

It's so hard to see that even after high school people can be so evil... You would think they would learn to grow up..

So..

Next time you consider bullying someone, don't. And if you see someone being bullied in any shape or form, do something about it. I know from experience that it helps.

Now that I'm out in the real world I try to stick up for as many people as I can. I'm not bullied anymore, nor are those around me (at least to the best of my knowledge).

It just takes 1 person to change another persons life. You can either be the bully or the person telling the bully to back off.

Any thoughts on this discussion?
  • Profile picture of the author DazedandConfused
    The Dalai Lama has some very insightful verses. I’ve gathered some favorite quotes from the Tibetan leader about a variety of topics such as love, compassion, peace, humanity, violence, and the environment. It’s a very interesting read. Enjoy :

    1- Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.
    2- If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.
    3- If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
    4- My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
    5- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
    6- The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.
    7- We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.
    8- We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.

    9- Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

    10- If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.

    11- If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.

    12- Human potential is the same for all. Your feeling, “I am of no value”, is wrong. Absolutely wrong. You are deceiving yourself. We all have the power of thought – so what are you lacking? If you have willpower, then you can change anything. It is usually said that you are your own master.

    13- We must recognize that the suffering of one person or one nation is the suffering of humanity. That the happiness of one person or nation is the happiness of humanity.

    14- Through violence, you may ‘solve’ one problem, but you sow the seeds for another.

    15- As people alive today, we must consider future generations: a clean environment is a human right like any other. It is therefore part of our responsibility toward others to ensure that the world we pass on is as healthy, if not healthier, than we found it.

    16- To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.

    17- There is a saying in Tibetan, “Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.”
    No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.

    18- The creatures that inhabit this earth-be they human beings or animals-are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world.

    19- A spoon cannot taste of the food it carries. Likewise, a foolish man cannot understand the wise man´s wisdom even if he associates with a sage.

    20- In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.

    Note: I do not consider these observations to be of either a religious or political nature - but of human nature.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

    I know hate crimes have been going on since the beginning of time and it's likely they won't stop anytime soon. But it just astounds me to see that there are still such hateful people in this world.

    When I was in high school, I was picked on, bullied, and everything else you can think of. I didn't come from a bad area, nor did I provoke any of the situations I was put in.
    I had the SAME experience. Just a little note. Based on your name, and picture, I figure you are probably white. To hear many minorities feel that white people , like you and I, have NO such problems. Thoughts like THAT are one reason for certain hate crimes that cause others that appear to be such.

    But that was high school (now my lifes completely different and far better).
    If ONLY that were true. It really doesn't get better, just different. Earlier it is more direct and focused. The suit against rims from NTP or whatever, the suit of amazon against B&N, the fed, etc... ALL are bullies. And they affected ME as much as them, and that one for the fed probably affected EVERYONE on this board, even if they live in australia. Of course, the UK, Muh of Europe and other places were affected more. EVEN the poor areas that "weren't affected at all" were affected as less help and resources were available because of the affects felt ELSEWHERE. And do you use petroleum products? It affected THAT ALSO. And LISTEN to them talking about their plans sometime. They sound JUST like 7 yo bullies! But because it is "legal", even if the base laws say it isn't legal AT ALL, they get a PASS!!!!!

    It's so hard to see that even after high school people can be so evil... You would think they would learn to grow up..
    I was actually SHOCKED when I saw a high school bully greet me in college like a friend. INCREDIBLE!

    Next time you consider bullying someone, don't. And if you see someone being bullied in any shape or form, do something about it. I know from experience that it helps.
    You see about the worst from me here. If anything, I was NICER from 1-9. I dealt with all sorts of adults, and they liked me. MOST kids pretty much left me alone. But there were bullies. A gang of three kids, each TWICE my size, once demanded I pay them $0.50, and almost broke my back. Luckily, they gave up. I never paid. I guess if I were black, I could call THAT a hate crime. As I recall, THEY were also white. I have had my share of black, asian, and hispanic bullies though.

    Now that I'm out in the real world I try to stick up for as many people as I can. I'm not bullied anymore, nor are those around me (at least to the best of my knowledge).
    Like I said, just a different way.

    It just takes 1 person to change another persons life. You can either be the bully or the person telling the bully to back off.

    Any thoughts on this discussion?
    My only thoughts are that I guess bullies are ALWAYS going to be ignored, anger will be misdirected, etc....

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author msmir75
    Thanks for starting this thread Justin, and like you, in high school I was picked on a lot too all because I was "different". I did not know how to stand up for myself back then either. It can have some very long lasting effects but after hearing that so many of those bullies who bothered me are either now in jail or on welfare (hmm with my tax dollars supporting them yet...ok I admit that part pisses me off)... it shows that they are nothing but sad and misguided souls. I realize I cannot allow what happened back then, over 20 years ago affect me now. And unfortunately it did for a while but it came to a point where I just said enough is enough. I deserve way better than that. I have so much going for me and why waste any of my precious energy on the past? They don't deserve it and never have deserved any of my power. Actually in junior high I was picked on the most. From grade 10 onward they left me alone, and the reason for that was I finally stood up for myself. I feel the only thing we CAN do is to spread as much awareness about how damaging bullying really is. We need to teach kids to also stand up for themselves properly if they are being picked on, and to teach others who witness bullying of any kind to intervene. Because if they don't, they are no different from the bullies themselves. Spread the awareness about how so many high school kids took their own lives due to being viciously bullied and picked on. And I am pleased to see at my daughter's school they have had many anti-bullying events, and have posters splattered all over the school about anti-bullying. I know that when I was in school there was no such thing as anti-bullying awareness. And like you said, realistically there will always be bullies, neo-Nazis, etc. But the more awareness that is spread about the seriousness of the situation, hopefully in time less and less hate will be tolerated.... and those who commit any kind of hate crime will be properly punished and not get a slap on the wrist like they usually do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Star Riley
    I think Carlin was right we are all bully's to someone look at how adults treat kids, men treat women, rich treat the poor, smart people treat people of less intellect etc.

    I was a bully and at the end of the day that made some people stronger and better able to handle the real world.

    However if I could go back and be less scared and less lonely and less of a person who had low self esteem and thus spare others my bullying I would - but who would think I would grow to be so aware.

    Like you I now stick up for as many people as I can, I no longer bully people and I have greater compassion for others.
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    • Profile picture of the author msmir75
      Originally Posted by Star Riley View Post

      I think Carlin was right we are all bully's to someone look at how adults treat kids, men treat women, rich treat the poor, smart people treat people of less intellect etc.

      I was a bully and at the end of the day that made some people stronger and better able to handle the real world.

      However if I could go back and be less scared and less lonely and less of a person who had low self esteem and thus spare others my bullying I would - but who would think I would grow to be so aware.

      Like you I now stick up for as many people as I can, I no longer bully people and I have greater compassion for others.
      Thanks for admitting that Star. I am glad to see you have corrected your ways and are doing your part on trying to stop it as well. And I have to agree with you 100%. I believe things ALWAYS happen for a reason. Bullying should never happen but at the same time, as long as it does not turn into a deathly situation, there are times when people do need to be knocked into the real world. Unfortunately for that to happen, sometimes it takes situations lsuch as being bullied. Yes, in the end it may wound you but if you learn how to overcome that, it does strengthen your character big time and you in the end come out bolder. Perhaps I was meant to go through some hard knocks with that in the younger years. Because today, I have a child with autism and I am determined to get him onto a path to living a "normal" life which thankfully I know is in the cards. I do not want to sound arrogant by any means, but wimps could not be able to do that. That is one of the reasons I also want to jet out of Toronto and move to BC, much better services out there... among other reasons.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Star Riley View Post

      I think Carlin was right we are all bully's to someone look at how adults treat kids, men treat women, rich treat the poor, smart people treat people of less intellect etc.

      I was a bully and at the end of the day that made some people stronger and better able to handle the real world.

      However if I could go back and be less scared and less lonely and less of a person who had low self esteem and thus spare others my bullying I would - but who would think I would grow to be so aware.

      Like you I now stick up for as many people as I can, I no longer bully people and I have greater compassion for others.
      Well, I ALWAYS felt kids were kind of shafted. I felt that as a kid, and STILL feel so. And SURE some kids are idiots and SHOULD be treated that badly, but you can say the same about some adults.

      Some women mistreat men, and some men treat women well. I don't mistreat women. Hopefully the women here realize that. I have had two way PMs with some that I think we both realized were pleasant, and weren't sexual at all. Of course, I don't have PMs only with women anyway.

      And the poor certainly mistreat the richer people! The UK is certainly getting a taste of that. frankly, I HAVE had friends that were on welfare. I have had friends that made a LOT less than I did. ON THE OTHER HAND, ONE guy said my life was perfect and FAR better than his! Let's see how HIS life was better, shall we?

      1. BOTH his parents were married, worked for themselves in different industries, and were millionares.
      2. He had a brother.
      3. He lived WITH his parents in a $900,000 home in beverly hills.
      4. He had a nice public job with SHORT weeks, and FULL penson and benefits!
      5. His car was paid for.
      6. He basically had the same friends I did.

      And what about ME?

      1. Parents divorced. Only my father had his own job. I only ASSUME he is a millionare. He pals around with a number of very rich people, including some billionares, etc...
      2. I'm an only child.
      3. I had to pay about $600/month for an apartment.
      4. I had a private job with NO pension or benefits!
      5. I was paying for my car.

      But he thought I was so much better! It is bad enough when one envies you, but envying you because they BELIEVE you are better off?

      And HEY, some dumb people try to cause problems for smart people. I have a step brother that is M.R.. He always says "HI STEVE" when I see him, but he is almost like "10 second tom" in "50 first dates". Once, as a present, I got him "hooked on phonics", because I heard he couldn't read. He likes a woman that presents it, but otherwise it seems it won't do him any good. 8-( But we don't ridicule him. I try to cut my exposure to him down, but it is simply that such actions grate on me, etc... NOT because I hate him or ridicule him.

      BTW even HE is working! It's a low end job. He probably doesn't get much money. But he tries to do his best, and he is employed.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    BTW justin,

    When I went to a MILITARY school, of all things, an Armenian gave me several kidney punches(one at each of several times), as one example. He was GOOD at doing them and had a REP for it. They HURT! To give you an idea, that is around where the nerves for the testicles are. He was a senior and I was a sophmore. I NEVER did a THING to him. They had a rotating schedule where a student would basically try to keep order. One guy, from another school that didn't know me, used my hard hat to hit me in the head.

    As for that armenian? I wonder if he ever hit a woman there. Not only would it hurt like it would with a male, and she would know what it was like for a male to get hit in the groin, but it may even hurt WORSE because their overies are around there ALSO!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    easy to say
    harder to do

    i thought it was growing up, just some grow up later than others

    never hurt me a lot
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    • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
      If one discriminates from purposes other than bullying, it is often misinterpreted.

      Example-If I am Italian and I have one leg missing you can try and disregard it as much as you want or be gentle about it as much as you want and genuinely not see a problem with it, but the fact remains that I am Italian with a leg missing.

      I cannot expect you to run after the bus with me because your leg is missing and you cannot do that.
      I can expect you to say "my hair are wet" as opposed to "my hair is wet" because "hair" in Italian is a plural noun.

      Other example- A certain business has mostly an Asian clientele, and recruits a Japanese as opposed to some other nationality and this other nationality feels offended.

      They recruit the Japanese because pretty likely he will deliver first of all the language knowledge and then he will have an insight of the culture that somebody of a different Country will not have.
      One can get upset as much as he wants, but the fact cannot be denied that it is an arrangement which makes sense.

      I have seen many example of discrimination where people think that they are unfairily treated and therefore over reacting. By doing so they certainly aggravate the reasons why the discrimination is about, even if the other part have does not mean to discriminate at all.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Bullying definitely takes many forms, some of which aren't even recognized as bullying, eg:
    1. Being nasty to a panhandler is bullying.
    2. Taking a sign of weakness or insecurity in someone as a cue to treat them like crap is bullying. Sadly, most people do this. It is only a small minority of strong independent minded individuals who don't join the swarm.
    3. Saying cruel things to someone in a vulnerable position is bullying.
    4. Being subtly abusive in the workplace towards someone over whom you have power is bullying.

    The list can go on and on.
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    • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
      I've equally seen both sides.

      One time , at a job, I was going beyond the call of duty to help a guy out, and everytime he made a mistake, he tried to blame me for the mistakes he was constantly making, in a joking way, but simultaneously being serious about it, because I showed him what to do.

      Even though he did not DO as I showed him.

      My reward for being a good samaritan. Helped him like a pre-schooler, kid gloves and all.

      So, whenever he asked me something, I said I did'nt know, then he tried to blame his failure for me not helping him.

      A priceless Class A Nut Job.

      Then there are some people who truly do not know themselves or what they are capable of until they have an advantage or power, then the true person can reveal themselves unfraid by consequences, after all, they have the power.

      You really don't know anybody, whether you think they are good or bad, until they have an overwhelming advantage or power, then you shall see the person you thought you knew and could vouch for all your life.

      Just simply look at families when inheritance is handed out or fight in court for a few thousand or even hundred dollars.

      I've heard of relatives leaving their other relatives destitute simply because they hired a lawyer to fight the will, even some relatives died with bad health, homeless and debt, and thats just in the family.

      What chance NON-family members have if a person like that gets an advantage?

      You must have a philosophy that deals with the real world, as it is, NOW, not "hold each others hand and sing camp fire songs singing kumbaya" type of malarkey fantasies.

      The 13th Warrior
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