Females Travelling Alone?

Sylvia, I got the same line of BS when I would pack up my kiddos and travel.

"You can't travel alone!"

"You need someone with you!"

"What are you going to do with 2 little kids by yourself?"

My theory is that people like that can bite my fanny.

You are not stupid. You are quite capable of using common sense and taking care of yourself.

I had to phone to get some advice on this one. First, I have many
friends in Canada and I know they see the news in the U.S. and its
easy to think its the wild west down here. I don't understand why a
nation of 300 million needs 500 million guns of every description but
those are the numbers. My friend (a female deputy sheriff) told me
that random gun violence does occur BUT if you took out drug violence,
poverty, and domestic violence the remainder is a small percentage.
I don't think you should be afraid to travel and go anywhere you
want to go BUT you have to plan a bit. Plan not to be on deserted or
semi deserted streets after dark. Ditto going to an ATM. Don't make
yourself a victim. Body language says a lot, so does what kind of a
purse you carry and how you carry it. MOST IMPORTANT! (I used to
harp on this to my exwife) BE AWARE OF WHAT'S (and Who's) AROUND
YOU. Never walk around in a cloud, absorbed, fumbling for your keys in
a parking lot. You said you lived in a large city so I'm guessing none of
this is new. It just goes double here. So there you go. Travel and enjoy.

Tom

EDIT: When people start telling you what you can't do they are usually
talking about what they can't do.

Sylvia,

Don't let the news force you to live your life in fear.

Travel. Just be smart. Pay attention to what's going on around you, and consider carrying some legal protection. Things like pepper spray (if it's legal), rape whistle (terrible name, I know) or miniature air horn, etc. Do some research.

I'm curious about what is covering your mouth in your Avatar. I can't quite make it out.

Where are you going?

There are too many variable to give an accurate answer to your question.

What is the weather like? How long will you be gone? How far will you be going? Will you have a cell phone on you at all times? Does someone know where you will be going and what route you are taking? Is your transportation reliable? Can you identify a dangerous situation a get yourself out of it? Do you know how to protect your money from thief's and pickpockets?

If you were in my family, these are questions I would ask, not to discourage you, but to empower you.



Dave

You can't be afraid everywhere you go. Just be careful and use caution. In the past, I've taken defense courses. Learning a few kick-butt techniques have definitely helped my confidence level.

However, I did know this one lady (my aerobics instructor) who had been kidnapped 3 times in her life. Some people just look vulnerable. Do your best not be one of these people.

You'll be fine traveling. Just watch out for Veges Vince And don't forget your pepper spray. Statistically, if you're going to be harmed, it will be by someone you know very well, not a stranger. There's lots of "could happens". You never know what's around the corner, can't tell the future, but chances are nothing bad will happen. Can't let your fears stop you.

i know its like the modern world and women can take care of themselves and all..but there really are some crazy people out there...i worked in the force for 3 years.alot of women go missing everyday that the papers and media do not report.

its not the million times you go alone and nothing happens that matters,its the one time you do and Something happens that matter.

i once went to thailand on a holiday with 2 really pretty ladies on a holiday..when we were walking down the street around midnite,a group of five guys started to follow us.if you train in martial arts for awhile and know about social dynamics,you can figure out a persons intention from just looking at them.

i quickly pulled the girls to me and asked them to walk(they didnt know what was happening),and i turn back to the group and gave the the fiercest look i could muster.they backed off..food for thought..

Gee Sylvia - If I never did anything that someone doesn't object to because of either my sex or age, I'd never get out of the freakin' house.

I travel all the time - and I drive whatever hours I want even though my dad has a tizzy for me to be off the road by dark, LOL.

I have a couple of rules - I always watch what I'm drinking so nobody can drop anything in it. I never let anyone get close behind me.

If someone gets funny with me I don't beat around the bush or worry about being nice. I just tell them flatly "F*** off - do it now - this is not a request". Being nice to the wrong person can get you hurt. Somehow it's interpreted by many criminal minds as subservience.

Outside of a few minor incidents, I have found that most people are really kewl and my travels have been almost all good experiences, even when sucky stuff happens (Like walking out of a mountain range for 4 days when the rig breaks down).

If you are going to Florida, I would presume to tell you to mainly watch out for overcast days - the sun will burn the snot out of you when it's overcast - get your tan but take a long sleeved shirt and long pants to cover up with after a little bit in the sun so you don't crisp. Tan is sexy, peeling like a snake isn't.

Sal,
Love it, yah I will be sure to bring sunscreen, considering the Canadian sun can kick my ass most days.

And it is nice to hear about so many females who aren't afraid to get out and about and are telling peeps where to shove it about it.

Hey, on your flight down, stop by my airport and pick me up. Easy
I wanna go toooooooooooooooooooooo Boo hoo sob sob.

Go for it! I travel alone sometimes, and am even married, but enjoy it anyway. When I was single, I traveled a lot - to different countries, too.

Be safe, though. Read articles with tips on this for women.

Sylvia,

I travel alone all the time. go and enjoy!

dorothy

Just make sure to stay strapped at all times and know how to use it if you need to.

I'm a motorcycle rider, and hang out in a couple of bike forums.

In those forums there are several women, one who left California on a motorcycle adventure to Canada. She was alone on her motorcycle for 5 weeks. She's in her late 40's.

In the other forum, I know of three other women, ranging from their mid-20's to early 60's, who all spent 3 MONTHS traveling the US alone. Two of them CAMPED alone for 90% of their travels.

If you'd like to read about their adventures and their thoughts on traveling alone (ALL of them bring it up, because similar fears were raised by their friends and family too) let me know and I will gladly spend the time to find those threads for you.

Those who are advising you that you need "protection" while probably well meaning, are hopelessly ill-informed. North America, despite its problems and challenges, is still an amazing, thoughtful, caring and safe place.

Can things happen? Sure. But by following just a handful of the most basic, common sense rules (most of which have been mentioned here already) you eliminate 99.99% of your potential problems.

Nothing in life is guaranteed. But I'll play with those odds any day of the week.

~Mike

Rockhounding? Oh, we're friends, girl....drop me a pm about the gemstones in your area - I might need an article for my newsletter soon - revamping a few things and will be starting them up again soon.

BTW - self defense isn't a luxury if you are going to run around the world by yourself. Even just the attitude that you know you can handle yourself will shake off a lot of slime. I was young and adorable about 30 years ago myself and know there are some real strange characters around. Sometimes they win whether you are trained or not. Sometimes people are killed right in their own homes - sometimes it's men that are killed. You can't ever be 100% sure...this is planet earth and there are no guarantees -- for ANYONE.
You either live or you don't. One shot hit or miss.
In the end the only real tragedy is the person laying on their deathbed thinking about all of the things they wanted to do or see and didn't.

Sal,
The more you respond the more I like ya. You're so right, life is too short and I don't wanna be on my death bed wondering what could've been. Hell like I told a few peeps I could step outside my front door and be killed, I could die from a plane crashing into the house while I sleep. I can die a million different ways, and none of it will make a difference. No matter when or where I am, when it's my time to go, it'll happen, but I would rather not be full of regrets when it does.

And thanks everyone. It is nice to hear from both sides of the fence and even nicer to see so many confident empowered women here.

Shay - LOL....don't even wanna know.
NC is a treasure trove for gemstones - and metals. I will make it there someday. I hope you kept some of your father's treasures.

Sylvia - I detect you'll be a bit like me when you get to my age, too. Um...that's a good thing in some ways, no matter what these people tell ya,

I'm glad to hear you aren't an attacker -- but I fear you still have a little problem with your outlook.

Now as far as the:
Just me, sweetie. The last thing a man needs is to be up close and personal to me when he gets dangerous because I will kill him. I know all about Brucey - because I learned a lot from one of his favorite pals. Look up the Dacoscos family in the 1950's Kung Fu magazines sometime.
He wouldn't advise you to keep to close to the idea that women aren't worthy adversaries. I have taken a lot of guff from a few ex's but they have never been stupid enough to try to tangle with me on a physical level. They knew better.

Yes, women are built differently - but the difference in the curvature of our elbow and knee joints are only a handicap when not trained to use them correctly. We can also anticipate a more straight on kick or punch from a male than we will deliver because his joints are assembled straighter. On the other hand, we have flexibility you could only wish for. Yes there is difference in musculature as well - we are much more built for leveraging and you are upper body strength. Did you know that very strength is the man's most predominant downfall? Any woman who has been trained to defend herself at all - I'm not talking belts, I'm talking about just self defense training - is most likely to escape or kill her opponent because of that upper body strength and the pyschological predisposition the attacker has toward the female because of it?

See - the way women have become so "easy" is not their size or build, etc -- it is because we have been sociologically imprinted to believe that we are defenseless against the big strong men. Take that programing away -- and YOU would not BELIEVE what an incredible adversary the most mundane woman can amount to in an emergency situation.

A normal woman can be empowered very easily . Overcoming the sociology is the rough part. Fighting, for the female of any species, is completely instinctual and don't ever mistake that. WE are ALL Amazons once you clean out that victorian principle crap that was drilled into us. When I taught self defense at the crisis center I would show women a move and their response was sometimes (these women were victim types mind you) "I can't do that I might hurt him". That kind of brainwashing to be "nice" is what has led to so much easy abuse. Erase it and get the natural female of the species mindset back in place and you wash out a lot of the edge that "big and strong" gives the male.

You see - the world has changed a lot if you hadn't noticed, and women are quite aware nowdays that there are guys out there that are just looking to hurt them. Men will always be bigger and stronger but that hardly means we are defenseless against them - especially when trained correctly. And trained correctly to defend yourself from the average mutt out there doesn't require belts and certificates. We might have to learn to stick keys in your eyes or pencils in your ears, but we can stop an attacker, the means don't really matter as much as the ends. We have plenty of brainpower, we can avoid most attacks in the first place -- and women are being taught left and right how to stay safe and how to fight back. In fact - I didn't see you mention something that my cognitive science books did when you were listing differences. The male has a gland that females don't have. It secretes hormones that make it impossible for men to think clearly and logically during strong emotions. Women can. That's why guys think if we are talking at the same time we are crying we are "hysterical". Not so. A woman who is scared shitless or mad as hell is not going to be less of an adversary for it once socialized subordination is wiped out of her.

I actually heard a speaker at a defense conference tell a room full of women that if they are attacked the safe thing to do is just let the guy have his way. LOL - he made it out of there in one piece but the laughter didn't allow his dignity to follow with him. We just don't swallow your mumbo jumbo, Men are dominant BS any more. You will always have a strength advantage - but that isn't actually much of an advantage unless you are dealing with a socially subordinated cow or sheer surprise.

In this day and age you are going to find it harder and harder to get sheer surprise over on the average woman.

Now a few questions for you --

Do you stay home and cower because there are guys out there that can wipe the floor with you? Do you? Then why should we? Women are not cattle and you will need a bit more logic than that in the year 2000 and beyond to keep a woman in the house.

Can you imagine someone telling you that you should stay home because you might get hurt if you go out? Seriously?

I have dealt with guys that insist that I should stay home because it's "dangerous" out there, too. And that was the topic here.
I was at a private school phoning the police after being on the missing person's list for 4 days while walking out of the wilderness when my car quit on me. At the same time I walked out, about a hunderd miles away a MAN was being air-lifted to the hospital after being pulled out of the same wildernesses on a stretcher. Someone forgot to tell him to stay home becaue it was dangerous out there. To him I say........you better stay home until you learn to take care of yourself because just because you are a man doesn't mean there is no danger for you or that you are more able to cope with danger than a woman is.

In other words --- so guys are built different, bigger, stronger? So what is your point? Did you come into this thread to tell us that we need to think about staying home because men are big and strong? WTF?

IF that was your point -- don't you think you better warn other men to stay home if they aren't properly trained to fight? Men attack other men very frequently, too, ya know.

I'm sorry if I don't get your point, but actually no matter what your point was. Let me say it again. We're over it. We really are, and I think you should get over it, too.

See? Word to the wise, don't get Sal going!

Man, what did you say to get her so stirred up? Now I have to go back to the first page, dammit!

....Okay, just got back from page one, and, oh, boy, did he ever say the wrong thing! I understand what he meant, that men, being physically stronger, have the upper hand over women (no, sorry, they don't...)

The mind is the most powerful weapon any of us have. We can figure out when it's time to go or time to get down and dirty. The best fight is one that was avoided, but sometimes ya just can't do that. So...

Did you know that a 98-pound woman has the strength to kill most anyone simply by giving them a forceful slug in the windpipe? It's funny, people seem to fall down when they can't breath anymore...don't know from personal experience but I bet getting hit in the throat hurts like a mother!

Do you realize how easy it is to blind someone by simply shoving your thumbs into their eye sockets? That has to hurt like hell! Or what about simply slapping them on the ears really hard, both ears at the same time. OW! (That's not the phone that's ringing.)

Even a simple car key stabbed repeatedly into the body or face will make some of the most determined think twice.

My keys are on one sturdy ring which hangs from another sturdy ring, which hangs from a steel clip. I have them in my hand when I go out into a dark parking lot. They can become a small mace to swing into someone's face instantly, and can turn a pretty-boy attacker into Mr. Scars For Life in less than 10 seconds. A large man angry at me and wanting to kick my a**changed his mind when he seen what I had in my hand and I didn't even have to hit him.

Muscle is good, but using your head is even better. The best thing to do is remain calm so you can think. In many, many cases it doesn't take a lot of strength to hurt someone.

Sal,
I love it as I did your last response and I feel you are very much correct. Like I stated before, I could live my life in fear of what is outside that front door, or hell even inside this house but where would that get me. Or anyone for that matter.

JohnsonCm
I think you really stepped into the wrong thread to be playing the women are victims card. Every women who posted before you was one of those women who screams out I am woman hear me roar.

As for all the wonderful reponses to the thread, thank you so much, it means all the difference in the world to me. I went and got my passport photos done today and if all goes well will have my passport this weekend and be flying down to Florida before February is over.

Empowerment removes fear, so if there are any women here who are fearful of what men could do to them, I suggest empowering yourself by taking self-defense or martial arts lessons and get comfortable with what your body is really capable of.

There's no reason to live in fear.

Sylviaaaaaa you still have time to stop by and pick me up!!!! Plane's gotta stop and refuel anyway!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I drive from Virginia Beach to Atlanta a few times a year and I'm all alone. Am I ever scared. Rarely but it has happened once or twice. but then I have been scared when I have been in my own area too. Unless you are rich, you can't have a body guard around all the time. We just have to learn how to take care of ourselves.
Funny thing is, I'm in my 40's & my my mom who is 81, still worries constantly about me when I travel alone. I guess we are never really adults in our parents' eyes.

LOL. I know a few other quick wit depressants for men, too - have been known to take advantage of them a time or two even though there was no danger threat.

I just wondered what your point was because I've heard the same thing said so many times and the point was always that women should be suppliant and not do anything on their own. If that wasn't your meaning, that is kewl. It really gets old hearing it, I'm sure you understand.

As far as being careful -- yes, EVERYONE has to be. But women are learning to be wary. Look at Shay's statement on page one. She never gets in the car without checking the backseat. Ya know, when I started in at the crisis center women actually were completely unaware that a parking lot was a dangerous place at night let alone that it can be a hazard even in the daylight. Nowdays it's a rare female who doesn't know that. Getting in elevators with men used to be something women wouldn't think twice about in some buildings, but now there is awareness.

Do I live in fear? -- I'm scared of a lot of things. I just don't let it rule me. I'm scared of heights like you wouldn't believe, but that's sometimes where the gemstones are so on the mountain is where you will find me. Am I afraid of men? Of course I am. I'd be a lunatic not to be. So don't get me wrong that I think that there is no danger in them.

And through it all - more women are harmed by the people they have allowed themselves to love and feel comfortable with than by strangers. It's eerie to see a woman being "escorted" for her safety by the very same animal that blackened her eyes or fattened her lip just a couple of weeks before hand. I had a manager once who had an ex in jail who had tried to kill her for insurance money. Strange stuff. I've known of women who have killed men they claimed to love furiously for the same reasons. Yet we're reminded time and time again that there are dangers outside. Go figure.

As far as Florida...I haven't been there in 30 years but I've heard that parts of it are in quite a bit of violent turmoil now and Sylvia is one hot young lady so she's going to have to be extra careful. Somehow I think she will be okay other than sunshine overdose though, LOL.

I met a lady on a airplane from south Africa heading to Hongkong, a 30 to 40 year old japanese,

So she was taking a trip herself for an outbound program or some sort, she's been everywhere, US, China, Korea, almost all countries in Africa, middle east, and even my country Indonesia.

She's a former flight attendant so she has the advantage of having low price plane tickets - she told me she got ticket Hongkong-South Africa for only few hundreds $$$

So I'd say go for it, travel alone but be safe.

Stop by and pick me up!!!!!!!! and we'll go swimming with the dolphins And Vince has to have someone to watch the joint while you two are at DisneyWorld :p

I don't even own a swimsuit either LOL we will go swimming with the dolphins in our clothes And while you're in Florida might as well go to Disneyworld so you can see it and see Mickey Mouse before you bring the 27 kids along

LOL Val. Not really an amusement park type, I HATE heights, this is taking a lot of nerve to fly 5K miles.

Bush Gardens is worth the time.