Any tips on writing a comedy routine!

Take a look at the top comedians. Take a look at your favorite comedians. What do they all talk about in their routines? It is usually a life experience or an experience from someone Else's life that they heard or made up (and in Dane Cook's case stole lol). So think back on your life. What are some amusing anecdotes that you can tell? Write them down. Edit them if you feel the need (no one said comedy had to be 100% accurate). Try them out on friends and family. Try them out at an open mic night at a comedy club. If all goes well there, you can proceed to tell the jokes to your clients (or film a Comedy Central special).

Of course if your clients just want their work completed and are not interested in listening to some stand up, you could be wasting your time

Listen to and record lots of political speeches. With election year around the corner it's prime time for this.

Politicians are so fos they sometimes actually believe the stuff they say. That's the best material right there. :p

Once you have a transcript of some silly speech compare all (both sides) the nonsense they spew to actual reality. It's the stuff hysterical laughter is made of.

It is said, that there are only three original jokes...

and everything else, a spinoff...


....note the prototypical wife, drunk, cop joke, if you could add a penguin, then you will have learned...


A drunken man is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have you been?“
“I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few miles back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the man. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

Or you can tell a good story. Like this...

I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.