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How do you deal with your success? This is annoying me.

by Johnny Danes Banned
8 replies
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I'm doing pretty good with my IM niche websites but my main business is offline. It's a medical supply business. I'm no Warren Buffet but it's a good business and I set it up so I don't have to run the business on a daily basis. It has 12 employees.

My issue is once people find out what I do, all of a sudden they want free advice, help and contacts,etc......I really don't mind helping people as I have been helped but I never approached people that way.

It's like you've spent 20 years working hard now folks EXPECT you to give away your bag of tricks. 20 years ago when I was piss poor, these same folks would have never given me the time of day. Now they want to be my "friend" and "do business" with me. Doing business means---me providing everything(consulting, financing, my rolodex,etc..). I'm going to start saying: "$10K a month retainer, 6 months paid upfront and we can talk"

You might be asking how do people find out? Sometimes I do a local speaking engagement at the High School, Chamber as a way of giving back or one of my employees(rightfully so) will let a customer know that I own the business. That being said, I don't mind helping but when people EXPECT me to help them, it's annoying. When I decline to offer assistance, it's almost as if the person gets mad.


Any advice on this? I like the life that I live but this is annoying.
  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Originally Posted by Johnny Danes View Post


    You might be asking how do people find out? Sometimes I do a local speaking engagement at the High School, Chamber as a way of giving back...

    Well if I was speaking somewhere to "give back" to people... then I'd be happy to answer their questions because it would help me fulfill my purpose. Sometimes (as we say in Arkansas) we get "too big for our britches...", and we forget what its like to be that person asking.

    Now, on another hand, you didnt go around asking when you were coming up, and neither did I, I just jumped in and made Sh** work on my own and figured it out along the way...

    But we paved a way that others can learn from who dont have that kind of attitude, and they need the advice...

    So, yeah , I get where you are coming from, and have felt it before, but then I always remind myself that I am blessed with my attitude, and abundant enough to share... and dont view those people as "moochers"... They are just amazed at your success...Its okay. Inspire them instead. Make the world a better place.

    My two cents.

    You want to charge for advice you can... do a WSO... that'll take the edge off, but dont resent people who respect your opinion enough to ask. Its a blessing that they arent asking someone else...remember that.

    I cant answer every email I get on time...honestly... but I dont resent people for asking. Its a privilege to be asked.

    If I didnt want to help, I wouldnt advertise that I have knowledge.

    Ps.

    It does get overwhelming at times, but never view those who need help as mooching... never know when the shoe you are stepping on today could be connected to the ass you are kissing tomorrow. lol

    I have had several students surpass me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Well you could try this:

    If you want to limit your energy expenditure, try saying "I can give you ONE piece of advice..." and give them what you think is most relevant to their situation.

    What I find is that most people want something for nothing--not just your advice, but a magic button that will bring them success. So you'll use this method as a qualifying tool.

    If someone takes that one piece of advice and does something with it, then consider investing more energy in them. They've shown that they're willing to work. I'm willing to spend an awful lot of time with someone who shows that they're willing to work to succeed.
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    • Profile picture of the author Johnny Danes
      Banned
      Hi Kan,

      that's a good idea. As I stated I don't mind helping people and I often times do, I know what its like trying to make your way in the mist of confusion. I'll never forget that neither.

      At my age,47, I've worked really hard and it really pains me when someone wants to literally ride on my coattail. A lot of the "old guys" helped me for the exact example you gave me. They saw I was ready to work even though I made a TON of work turns. I worked and never gave up and the old guys liked that. Many of them finally said--"ok boy, here's how you do it the right".

      That's how I made my way.




      Originally Posted by kaniganj View Post

      Well you could try this:

      If you want to limit your energy expenditure, try saying "I can give you ONE piece of advice..." and give them what you think is most relevant to their situation.

      What I find is that most people want something for nothing--not just your advice, but a magic button that will bring them success. So you'll use this method as a qualifying tool.

      If someone takes that one piece of advice and does something with it, then consider investing more energy in them. They've shown that they're willing to work. I'm willing to spend an awful lot of time with someone who shows that they're willing to work to succeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Roaddog
    Originally Posted by Johnny Danes View Post

    I'm doing pretty good with my IM niche websites but my main business is offline. It's a medical supply business. I'm no Warren Buffet but it's a good business and I set it up so I don't have to run the business on a daily basis. It has 12 employees.

    My issue is once people find out what I do, all of a sudden they want free advice, help and contacts,etc......I really don't mind helping people as I have been helped but I never approached people that way.

    It's like you've spent 20 years working hard now folks EXPECT you to give away your bag of tricks. 20 years ago when I was piss poor, these same folks would have never given me the time of day. Now they want to be my "friend" and "do business" with me. Doing business means---me providing everything(consulting, financing, my rolodex,etc..). I'm going to start saying: "$10K a month retainer, 6 months paid upfront and we can talk"

    You might be asking how do people find out? Sometimes I do a local speaking engagement at the High School, Chamber as a way of giving back or one of my employees(rightfully so) will let a customer know that I own the business. That being said, I don't mind helping but when people EXPECT me to help them, it's annoying. When I decline to offer assistance, it's almost as if the person gets mad.


    Any advice on this? I like the life that I live but this is annoying.

    Actually I 'get' your exact point...

    I went thru (and still at times) this with construction...

    "Can't you just fix it real quick?" kind of meanings

    What I ended up doing was asking what they did for a living...then make it a kind of barter deal...it's funny tho, when I was done 'they' wouldn't be nearly as fast, reciprocating. Not for the most part anyway..

    If they didn't have anything to barter...they usually got the meaning of my question.

    If someone asked me to do a favor for someone else (really needing it)..that was usually a different story and I had no problem with it.

    A lot of people constantly try 'to get over' on ya...trick is to tell who is who..
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    • Profile picture of the author Johnny Danes
      Banned
      Thanks for the remarks.

      I always tell people to 'start where you are'. Most people really don't need as help as they think. The issue I see is many want to go BIG TIME overnight. Instead of learning how to build 1 small website ,they want to build hundreds and build a list of 100K all in 90days.

      Things just don't happen like that. Everyone has to put in work. I'm nice and comfy now but I still work as I am now as I type. Hell, I worked on Christmas.......not much but I did put in a few hours.




      Originally Posted by Roaddog View Post

      Actually I 'get' your exact point...

      I went thru (and still at times) this with construction...

      "Can't you just fix it real quick?" kind of meanings

      What I ended up doing was asking what they did for a living...then make it a kind of barter deal...it's funny tho, when I was done 'they' wouldn't be nearly as fast, reciprocating. Not for the most part anyway..

      If they didn't have anything to barter...they usually got the meaning of my question.

      If someone asked me to do a favor for someone else (really needing it)..that was usually a different story and I had no problem with it.

      A lot of people constantly try 'to get over' on ya...trick is to tell who is who..
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Johnny,

    Are they after help with B&M or medical, or the IM stuff? People often underestimate, or imply that they do, the hassle and security of things. It is almost as if they think it is 100% free to you.

    Yeah, it is sad. People do the same with me. have often wondered myself about that. Eventually, I may just get fed up and have a flat fee based on an estimate with an hourly fee for overages.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Johnny Danes
      Banned
      General business. Mainly because I've had some success so they think I'm the answer to their situation. As I stated, I don't mind helping but I don't like the way in which I get approached. People think because I said "hello" that that makes them eligible to be a JV partner or we are now "friends". :confused:

      I am a nice guy and very approachable but people think because I am that way, I must also be "easy". LOL......little do the know. I'm like a set mouse trap, as long as you don't bother it, it will not snap on you. It's like dealing groupies---guys are groupies too.:rolleyes:

      Success sure has a way of getting people to either act phony or show their true colors.



      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Johnny,

      Are they after help with B&M or medical, or the IM stuff? People often underestimate, or imply that they do, the hassle and security of things. It is almost as if they think it is 100% free to you.

      Yeah, it is sad. People do the same with me. have often wondered myself about that. Eventually, I may just get fed up and have a flat fee based on an estimate with an hourly fee for overages.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeAmbrosio
    There's an old saying: People can't take advantage of you without your permission.

    Basically, you do have to pick and choose what you give of yourself or else you will give so much you'll run your own business to the ground. It's a nice thought to be able to help everyone that asks, but that's just not realistic.

    For me, it depends on the situation and the person asking. Some I know won't do anything with the information I give so if I can't simply side-step them, I give them one piece of advice and move on.

    Sadly, once people learn that the IM world actually takes work to be successful (just like any other business) most never go past looking for the golden ticket. Just the way it is.

    So, bottom line - don't feel bad about saying no once in a while. It's YOUR life. It DOESN'T mean you're "forgetting what it was like to be just starting out". It simply means you're busy. Giving back by speaking, or by selectively choosing people to help is more than enough.

    Mike
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