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You know it's time to retire when ...

by kokopelli
16 replies
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Maybe you can share your "tip" when to realize retirement is required ...

Here's mine (it's an old joke I found somewhere):

During a visit to the retirement home, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a person should be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "We fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Based on this "test", I'm past-due to be led out to pasture.

As they say ...
Old Age Comes At A Bad Time
#humor #joke #old age #retire #retirement
  • Profile picture of the author ThomM
    I like that joke.
    I'll have to use it to test people before trying to have an intelligent conversation
    I retired in my 20's so I could enjoy it.
    I spent the rest of my life recovering and learning.
    Almost every job or career I had was designed to be either mentally challenging, physically challenging, or both.
    As for retiring now or in the future, I don't see it.
    I look at work (or jobs if you prefer) as exercise, for the mind and body.
    You need a certain amount of exercise to stay healthy.
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    Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
    Getting old ain't for sissy's
    As you are I was, as I am you will be
    You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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    • Profile picture of the author payment proof
      LOL kokopelli. I first thought of the bucket too.
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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    ...you here this song playing in your head,over and over..... and over.....and over!
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    • Profile picture of the author MoneyMagnetMagnate
      Boy, that's an old Neil clip! But he also said: Rust Never Sleeps!

      Funny - That reminded me of the time I stopped in a little store in Woodside, Ca. , and I was thinking of the guy in line in front of me, "that guy has an old buckskin coat just like Neil Young"...he turned around, and it was Neil!
      It took me by surprise, but I knew he lived there. He's not one for fawning over, so I just mentioned I always go to Bridge concerts...and donate even when I can't. He said thanks, he appreciated that. I tried not to say "I'm a big fan", (but I really am :rolleyes so I just said, "offhand, I can't think of anything you ever did, I didn't like!"

      He gave me a look like, 'Gee, thanks for the backasswards compliment', but then we both chuckled at that...

      (He probably still wears that coat - he's been wearing it forever, he must love that thing!...:rolleyes

      Gee - maybe it IS time for me to retire...I'm starting to reminisce...wait - what were we talking about? :rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author tjcreation
    Retirement? Why? I intend to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing until they carry me out feet first. I enjoy what I do, why should I stop?
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Originally Posted by tjcreation View Post

      Retirement? Why? I intend to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing until they carry me out feet first. I enjoy what I do, why should I stop?
      Or till you figure out what you are doing, which ever comes first
      Signature

      Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
      Getting old ain't for sissy's
      As you are I was, as I am you will be
      You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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  • Profile picture of the author ramdom123
    I would retire right now if i hit the jackpot but personally I would not retire if I enjoyed what i did IM.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Retire? No way. In the words of Neil Young (since he's already playing in this thread), I'd rather burn out than fade away.

    Or something like that.

    Actually, I retired when I was about 40 . . . from the 9 to 5 world.

    Now I just play at the computer and people pay me for having fun. No need to retire from that gig anytime soon.
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
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  • Profile picture of the author kokopelli
    Originally Posted by waterotter

    ...you here this song playing in your head,over and over.....
    I thought that's what I was hearing in my head, then realized after a while that it was only the radio ...

    Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill

    Now I just play at the computer and people pay me for having fun.
    Me too, except, no-one is paying me for anything!

    @Kurt - thanks for sharing, "Living in the past" is probably my favorite Jethro Tull song.
    Let us close out eyes;
    outside their lives go on much faster.
    Oh, we won't give in,
    we'll keep living in the past.
    Anyway, for those of you still wondering whether it's time to hang up your boots, here are a few more signs to look for.
    1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

    2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

    4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

    6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

    7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" or "9" to get an outside line.

    8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

    10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

    11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

    12. Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get longevity awards.

    AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE :

    13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.

    14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".

    15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.

    16. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9.

    17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9.

    18. AND NOW U R LAUGHING ON YOUR STUPIDNESS.. ;
    [Source]
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    • Profile picture of the author MoneyMagnetMagnate
      8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
      LOL! That one is true! The only real nice thing was...we kept getting all this stuff like jackets, hats, and coffee cups with the new company name!
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by kokopelli View Post

      1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

      This one reminded me of something a friend told me several years ago. She was watching TV and the station went out and the screen turned blue. If you've been using Windows computers for long you know what the "blue screen of death" used to be -- it meant you had to reboot.

      She said when her TV went blue the first thing she thought of was that she had to reboot. Then she asked me if I thought she was spending too much time on the computer.

      She asked me not to tell anyone that.

      Hey, I didn't mention her name so she can't complain, right?
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      Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author MoneyMagnetMagnate
    I thought that microwave idea was a good gag - if I worked for a large company, I would send out a covert HR email saying the MW in the breakrooms now needs a password to operate, and give a PW to use...:rolleyes:

    Then stand by, to see how many people fell for it - (and whom)
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  • Profile picture of the author focused
    As for the notion of retiring, when you can earn a living from
    home on the computer, and you enjoy doing so, then keep
    going as long as you possibly can. There's no reason to stop.
    There's always more to learn and to implement, and more money
    to make.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    As long as I still have my mind intact enough to do what I like, I'm going to do it.

    Of course, as long as I have my mind intact enough to do what I like, I'm going to do it.

    And as long as I have my mind intact enough to do what I like, I'm going to do it.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author fblikes
    haha it's so funny,But Director is Right.....
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