Worst tech support chat of all time

by 27 comments
Here is the log of the chat I just had with kodak tech support. There is no time stamp so you can not see the long waits I had to endure.

Prabhjot Walia: Welcome to Kodak, my name is Prabhjot Walia. Please wait while I review your question.
Steven Bishop: the min I powered the printer it started flashing a message that a usb device is not connected and to disconnect it
Prabhjot Walia:
May I know what is your printer model?
Steven Bishop: I have not conneced anything to the printer
Steven Bishop: office hero 6.1
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: May I please have the Kodak Service Number for your printer? You can find this number by opening the printer access door like you are going to change the ink cartridges. This number will be located on the left hand side.
Steven Bishop: 07a2530
Steven Bishop: it is on the right had side by the way
Prabhjot Walia: Yes.
Steven Bishop: ??
Prabhjot Walia: It will be on the bar coded sticker.
Prabhjot Walia: The alpha numeric code.
Steven Bishop: look up^
Steven Bishop: i already posted it
Steven Bishop: 07a2530

Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: In what month and year was this printer purchased and Where was this printer purchased?
Steven Bishop: today 10 mins ago at walmart
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Steven Bishop: u there?
Prabhjot Walia: Yes.
Steven Bishop: this is the point where u tell me how to fix the printer
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Steven Bishop: is there some one else that I can tlak to a level 2 tech perhaps?
Prabhjot Walia: I am sending a link so that you can do it.
Prabhjot Walia: I will send you a demo .
Steven Bishop: I do not need a demo. I need to know why your printer is giving me an error message about a usb device when nothing is connected to the printer
Prabhjot Walia: May I know the error message.
Steven Bishop: for the 3rd time
Steven Bishop: the usb device is not supported. please disconnect device from printer
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: I think the USB device is not supporting the Printer.
Prabhjot Walia: You need to change the USB device.
Steven Bishop: WHAT PART OF NOTHING IS CONNECTED TO THE COMPUTER DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
Prabhjot Walia: Yes.
Prabhjot Walia: I will help you that .
Prabhjot Walia: May I know have you how are you tying to connect the printer.
Steven Bishop: I have not gotten that far. I have not tried to connect it because it is giveing me the error message
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Steven Bishop: how long have you worked in tech support?
Prabhjot Walia: Here I understand the issue.
Prabhjot Walia: But the thing is USB cable is not working
Steven Bishop: So are you telling me that the printer is broken?
Prabhjot Walia: I can connect it with Wi-Fi.
Steven Bishop: what is 4 plus 9
Prabhjot Walia: 13
Prabhjot Walia: May I know the Wi-Fi light status of your printer, Is it blinking or steady blue?
Steven Bishop: what is the square root of 16
Prabhjot Walia: it is 4
Steven Bishop: are you human or a computer
Prabhjot Walia: Human Steven
Prabhjot Walia: May I go ahead and help you.
Steven Bishop: ok then try to follow me right now
Prabhjot Walia: In connecting the printer.
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Steven Bishop: I do not want to connect the computer
Steven Bishop: I want the error message to go away
Prabhjot Walia: I really apologize
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: I understand it .
Prabhjot Walia: 1. Turn off the printer.

2. Disconnect the power adaptor from back of the printer

3. Wait for 30 seconds.

4. Reconnect the power adaptor to the printer.

5. Turn On the printer
Prabhjot Walia: Please follow the above steps and let me know.
Prabhjot Walia: Please let me know once it is done.
Steven Bishop: I just followed your steps and when it came back on the same error message appeared
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: It says USB not supported right.
Steven Bishop: correct
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Steven Bishop: the attached usb device is not supported
Prabhjot Walia: Okay.
Prabhjot Walia: It should be a 2.0 USB cable.
Prabhjot Walia: So that it will support .
Steven Bishop: Just forget it. I will take the printer back and buy adifferent one
Steven Bishop: goodbye
Prabhjot Walia: Shall I try with a WI-Fi

I disconnected at this point I will be returning the printer asap!
#off topic
  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    WOW! I'm glad I wasn't drinking when I read this. I would have drowned!

    That last statement of "Shall I try with a WI-Fi" was a nice touch. As were your math questions. I bet a lot of the "computerized tech support" can answer such questions.

    He never DID answer how long he worked for tech support.

    Steve
    • Profile picture of the author sbishop
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      WOW! I'm glad I wasn't drinking when I read this. I would have drowned!

      That last statement of "Shall I try with a WI-Fi" was a nice touch. As were your math questions. I bet a lot of the "computerized tech support" can answer such questions.

      He never DID answer how long he worked for tech support.

      Steve
      I was testing him with the math and I wrote out "plus" to try and confuse him if it was a computer
  • Profile picture of the author temlawn
    My appologies but all I had to do is see the first name in the first line of your post. - no offense to anybody out there - but that is always a bad sign when the customer service reps' name sounds like something out of star wars you better hold on because its going to be a ride..lol..

    Oh my..lol.. I had to go re-read it again.. this part is awesome:

    Steven Bishop: what is 4 plus 9
    Prabhjot Walia: 13

    and

    Steven Bishop: what is the square root of 16
    Prabhjot Walia: it is 4
    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Originally Posted by temlawn View Post

      My appologies but all I had to do is see the first name in the first line of your post. - no offense to anybody out there - but that is always a bad sign when the customer service reps' name sounds like something out of star wars you better hold on because its going to be a ride..lol..

      Oh my..lol.. I had to go re-read it again.. this part is awesome:
      That is very funny.

      I think he was a 'fake' Indian. A real one would have said plus or minus four for the square root question. They are taught square roots at 3 weeks old out there.

      SBishop, your post shows the usual thing with Indian culture.

      They are very polite and patient and they tend to agree with you all the time so you think they are understanding what you are saying to them.

      'My arm has been torn off.'

      'Yes.'

      'Can you call an ambulance?'

      'Yes.'

      'Err Now!!?'

      'Yes.'

      ad infinitum until you die of blood loss.

      Dan
  • Profile picture of the author RelaxFuture
    Its very funny. :p
  • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
    That's funny. You know, the tech support guy's name sounds Indian so I'll tell you something me friend.

    In India we have as much as 50% reservations in educational institutions (not just public institutions, private too) based on caste. Also, you could pay the college "donations" and get admission if you scored less. So it is safe to assume that half the people who go to college, don't deserve to! Garbage in, garbage out. If this pisses you off, then imagine what it feels like to know that some stinkin' rich a-hole got your seat in an elite college just because his great grandfather was one of the "oppressed". But, then after awhile you get used to it.

    You'll get used to bad customer service too soon, as long as your country keeps outsourcing it to our country.

    Sumit.
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

      That's funny. You know, the tech support guy's name sounds Indian so I'll tell you something me friend.

      In India we have as much as 50% reservations in educational institutions (not just public institutions, private too) based on caste. Also, you could pay the college "donations" and get admission if you scored less. So it is safe to assume that half the people who go to college, don't deserve to! Garbage in, garbage out. If this pisses you off, then imagine what it feels like to know that some stinkin' rich a-hole got your seat in an elite college just because his great grandfather was one of the "oppressed". But, then after awhile you get used to it.

      You'll get used to bad customer service too soon, as long as your country keeps outsourcing it to our country.

      Sumit.
      I noticed it going down since about 1980. Tech support used to be tech support! NOW, it is "customer service". There is a BARE BARE BARE BARE minimum, and "tech support" is now scraping it. Eventually, people WILL make it clear that they would rather not call. I have ALREADY given up on the idea of most calls. I have ALREADY decided that at a point I will know assume that something is impossible, and may fight for a refund, or even decline a charge.

      EVEN simple things like RESERVATIONS have gotten RIDICULOUSLY complicated!

      Steve
  • Profile picture of the author sbishop
    I was on a service call a couple of years back, I owned a IT firm back then. The site had lost the internet connection. I had seen this before, there was a storm and a power loss. I spent 30 to 40 min trying to get the level 1 tech to upgrade the call to lvl 2.

    The only way to fix the problem was a remote reboot of the cable modem. Lvl 1 tech support cannot do it. I told the person that I was billing my client $75 per hour while she was wasting my time. Finally she upgraded the call to lvl 2. The tech came on and it took him less than 5 mins to reboot the modem and the problem was solved.

    Today, lvl 1 tech support only needs to be able to read prompts and ask questions. they can not think on their own and most likely can barely use a computer them selves.
    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Okay Steve

      Different sense of humour on this side of the pond that's all.

      Indians do start serious Maths a lot earlier than anyone in the UK though.

      When Indian people come to the UK with their children and those children go to school most Indians think their children are in the remedial class even if they are in top Maths Set.

      Dan
  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    I just got off the phone with a HORRIBLE "customer support" person In reserving a HORRIBLE flight, their website crashed and said I should contact THEM at a number
    "If it persists" "IF IT PERSISTS"?!?!?!? I would have o restart the WHOLE process which would grow increasingly more likely to suggest WORSE flights. NO THANKS! So I spoke with that IDIOT on the line making it clear I was in a HURRY!!!!!!!!

    She had the AUDACITY to ask for things like if I wanted to waste 15 mnutes or more and wipe out my credit, just to delay things more so I would get a WORSE flight. NO THANKS!

    In the end, I got worse seats, almost lost one plane, and have to pay an extra $55 for the "privilege"!

    Steve
  • Profile picture of the author temlawn
    'My arm has been torn off.'

    'Yes.'

    'Can you call an ambulance?'

    'Yes.'
    LOL...LOL.....
  • Profile picture of the author LeeLee
    On (I think) 60 Minutes the other night, they said companies are on the verge of bringing previously outsourced phone support back to the US. The average salary is $20K-$40K. Salaries can go as high as $90K. I assume that is for team leaders or higher levels.

    The number of jobs returning in the near future is not large but it is a start. It is in response to customers demanding to speak to an American. So keep demanding competent tech help. Keep returning products that don't give you the support you need.

    Post negatively about them online. Keep the pressure on. $20K isn't much but it is better than nothing for a lot of people right now.
  • Profile picture of the author SEOLee
    This is friggin hilarious LOL
  • Profile picture of the author icegin
    Oh wow, reading this transcript is both hilarious and aggravating.
  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    Lol! This one is sure going to be a classic.
  • Profile picture of the author paul_1
    This is a good entry to the annual World Jokers' Cup...
  • Profile picture of the author Trucker
    nice message to learn
  • Profile picture of the author Miko001
    This is one of the hilarious conversation i came across.
  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    He must go between Kodak and HP.Sounds like almost an exact call I had with HP about a fresh out of the box printer. At the end though they offered to send me a refurb. I told the guy I have a brand new printer I bought a few hours ago and I have spent several hours trying to get it to work and you are offering to replace with a refurb? You're F*king crazy.
    I took it back to the store and HP lost both a sale and someone who had been a customer for at least 20+ years.
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      He must go between Kodak and HP.Sounds like almost an exact call I had with HP about a fresh out of the box printer. At the end though they offered to send me a refurb. I told the guy I have a brand new printer I bought a few hours ago and I have spent several hours trying to get it to work and you are offering to replace with a refurb? You're F*king crazy.
      I took it back to the store and HP lost both a sale and someone who had been a customer for at least 20+ years.
      The guy was probably not even a native english speaker. Someone should test these people out at the company, and insist that they all be numbered. And 98% of what all "tech support" people do today is *****OBSOLETE*****! It can QUICKLY and EASILY be replaced at virtually NO cost by having a FAQ on the company's site! The other 2% realy should demand a VERY fluent speaker that has worked with the tool or AT LEAST has an IQ over 100! ALSO, it can *****NOT***** be a "call center".

      Steve
  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    I agree Steve, but here is another tactic call centers use now....They LIE.
    When you ask for their ID or bagde number,because every employee is suppose to have one ,if they no you are not happy they give you a false number. Also, my experience the majority of the time that if you ask for a supervisor they lie again and say they are the person I HAVE to speak to or they LIE and say none are available at the moment.

    Back when I had my shop and had to call Sell a lot, I got so tired of talking to their incompetent level 1 outsoruced tech support that I kept calling till I got a real native english speaking person. From him I managed to get a phone number to one of their support centers in Texas that technically only offered support to their business customers, but he said he understood my frustaration adn I could use that number anytime I needed it.

    I wish I had kept it after I shut down,but at the time I thought I was out of working on anything for good. ( I was pretty depressed for a while).

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