How would aliens do interent marketing

by sadas

Posted: 12 years ago 6 replies

OFF TOPIC

Lets see some answers

Patrician 12 years ago

They would first of all start a 'buzz'.

In their case a buzz would be a loud, high pitched sound that is both inside your head and off your walls.

Now they will start on your email inbox which will have glowing blue astral lights on all of their messages. You can't miss them and you can't put them in spam. You also can't unsubscribe without permission from the Inter-Galactic Commission.

Next they will start with annoying pop-ups that glow in the dark and pop-up in your peripheral vision. You are unable to do anything because you are so busy swatting them to get them out of your face.

All the messages together say 'work from outer space and get stealthy without working'.
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Patricia Brucoli
Plug-In Profit Site Helpdesk
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- Dennis Gaskill 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Patrician
  
  They would first of all start a 'buzz'.
  
  In their case a buzz would be a loud, high pitched sound that is both inside your head and off your walls.
  
  You mean ... what I thought was tinnitus, is ... is really ... ALIENS IN MY HEAD?!!!
  
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  Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
  
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Patrician 12 years ago

Yup Dennis it is Grok and Spock giving you an ear full.

where can you Ruuuuuunnnn!??
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Patricia Brucoli
Plug-In Profit Site Helpdesk
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Kurt 12 years ago

They would probe Matt Cutts.
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- myob 12 years ago
  
  How would aliens do interent marketing
  
  They already do:
  
  Italian
  
  German
  
  English
  
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Halcyon 12 years ago

First they would do away with person to person communication. They don't want you conferring with anyone that might divert your attention. They will present you with the prettiest gadgets that you can carry around with you. This way they'll always know where you are and what you are doing.

Then they would create little entertainment portals that keep you glued to your seat. You can't get up and all you do is hit the refresh button on the gadget to see if anything new has popped up. These portals must appeal to the human's desire to belong to a group, vanity, sloth or envy.

Once that part of the plan is complete they will place little spies on your gadget that follow you around and log everything you do. Then show you ads from the places you visited.

If you ever tear yourself away long enough to complain they will tell you that you must of agreed to it and that deep down you really like it.
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