Fast Sex

No, it could be me to.

Joe Mobley

Talking of sex jokes . . . .


A man and wife had just gone to bed and the husband tapped his wife gently on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I need to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to get to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she had been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happened to which the man replies, "She choked."

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A small white guy entered an elevator, and when he gets in notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 370 pounds, 15 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown". The small white guy faints!

The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy, "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 370 pounds, 15 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around."

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One evening a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour the man says to the woman, "Hey, how about if we sleep together tonight with no strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.

So they go back to her place and he went in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes into the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.

Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" she said. The man said, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", said the woman. "You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

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Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides upon a a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 60 times."