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I feel bad...about my cat... Guilty more like.

by John Durham
24 replies
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After getting divorced I decided to start leaving a window open and letting my beautiful cats come in and out. My ex had their claws removed (cruel if you ask me)...and never let them go outside.

They would stare at the windows.... So when she was out of the picture I started letting them out.

Bad mistake because they had no way of defending themselves.

It worked out for awhile... then I went away for a week, and left them a little window open.

When I came back there was a big mean wild Tom Cat sitting in my kitchen, eating all their food, and there was fur everywhere...from my cats.... they were gone.

He had run them out of their own home and taken over. I looked all over for days, called the local animal shelter, and was never able to find them again.

After grieving for months inwardly...I thought I could never love another cat again.

Then my daughters cat had a litter and and I took on this little Siamese cat... I love him.

His name is Axle.

BUT...

This cat gets on my nerves so bad....and I feel guilty.

Its not because I dont like him.

Its because he wants to be petted soo much that he wont leave me alone. He literally will not stay away from my hands no matter how much I push him away (which is a guilt trip in itself)....

I cant work or type with him around... I cant sit down anywhere without him pushing my hands around....or even relax.

I have to put him out to work, or to have any peace. He constantly wants to be petted... he isnt happy just to sit on your lap.

Dont want him to get a complex, but what can I do?

Its a real issue.

Ps. I like having him around. But I need my hands.
  • Profile picture of the author Charlotte Jay
    Get him a companion. My Heinz 57 cat is part Siamese and is super social. She needs companionship 24/7, so we got another kitty for her to play with. Problem solved.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Charlotte Jay View Post

      Get him a companion. My Heinz 57 cat is part Siamese and is super social. She needs companionship 24/7, so we got another kitty for her to play with. Problem solved.
      Hmmm.... That seems like the fair thing to do, but Im not really ready for two cats... Gosh darn it, how do I get into these things?

      I may have to do that. Was hoping there would be a different answer. Thanks though.
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      • Profile picture of the author Charlotte Jay
        Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

        Hmmm.... That seems like the fair thing to do, but Im not really ready for two cats... Gosh darn it, how do I get into these things?

        I may have to do that. Was hoping there would be a different answer. Thanks though.
        Sorry to say it, but no We bought a ton of cat toys when she was a kitten, and she had absolutely no interest in them. Having 2 cats is not really that much different than 1 in our household.

        Also, in regards to cat litter, buy the pine pellets. They are eco-friendly, better for felines and cost 80% less than that god awful Fresh Step stuff.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Put the cat in another room when you need to use your hands. He brought the need for solitude on himself.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Other than your cat problem John, where and how have you been?
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      Other than your cat problem John, where and how have you been?
      Oh...."Fair to Middlin " as we say in Arkansas. Still doin War! Good to see you Kim!

      Originally Posted by Quoia View Post

      Siamese cat's tend to want companionship from their owners. If you don't have time for him I would seriously consider re-homing him. I'm attempting to type this as my own cat is forcing her way under my arm and into my lap. I think we've reached a compromise.

      And not to beat you up for the previous incident with the two cats because I think you learned a lesson, declawed cats should never be allowed outdoors, their natural defense has been removed, climbing trees to flee dogs or other predators is difficult if not impossible, and stray cats can carry feline HIV (I've had one die in my arms after suffering with it for 3 years). So no open windows for in and out.

      Pets like kids require time and patience. They can't always just be stuck in a room somewhere. You could also invest in some toys and cat trees to give him a point of distraction if you decide to keep him.
      Believe me, I beat myself up plenty over that one... I dont lack any love for animals... and I like to spend time with my cat, just not 24/7.

      Ifeel encouraged that you said you reached a compromise. Maybe eventually he will understand that typing time is lap sitting time, not petting time.

      He seems to be BRILLIANT in other areas. For instance, he comes when called, knows his name, and went in the litter box the very first time I put it out....

      He's very loving, no complaints there.... and I dont think of him as a possession. More like we have mutual respect as individuals...but he DOES think of me as one lol.

      Im hoping he will grow to understand there are times when petting is the thing to do, and other times when its not.

      Thanks for the insight. I think I wore him out. He's sleeping next to me now. Until I flinch or make a move. lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Quoia
    Siamese cat's tend to want companionship from their owners. If you don't have time for him I would seriously consider re-homing him. I'm attempting to type this as my own cat is forcing her way under my arm and into my lap. I think we've reached a compromise.

    And not to beat you up for the previous incident with the two cats because I think you learned a lesson, declawed cats should never be allowed outdoors, their natural defense has been removed, climbing trees to flee dogs or other predators is difficult if not impossible, and stray cats can carry feline HIV (I've had one die in my arms after suffering with it for 3 years). So no open windows for in and out.

    Pets like kids require time and patience. They can't always just be stuck in a room somewhere. You could also invest in some toys and cat trees to give him a point of distraction if you decide to keep him.
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  • Profile picture of the author Quoia
    Siamese cats are definitely a "velcro" breed, and smart and talkative. If you keep him I think you have a great companion once you work out the schedule and lap time vs play time. If he's still a kitten, he may just need some training. If you have time, there are several Siamese cat forums you can visit and the members would be quite helpful. Unfortunately I don't have enough posts yet to drop a link for you (forum rules).

    EDA: Ok I have 15 posts now, so here you go: http://www.catforum.com/forum/
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Quoia View Post

      Siamese cats are definitely a "velcro" breed, and smart and talkative. If you keep him I think you have a great companion once you work out the schedule and lap time vs play time. If he's still a kitten, he may just need some training. If you have time, there are several Siamese cat forums you can visit and the members would be quite helpful. Unfortunately I don't have enough posts yet to drop a link for you (forum rules).

      EDA: Ok I have 15 posts now, so here you go: Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
      Wow. thanks, and Thanks Charlotte.

      This link again solidifies my belief that there is a forum for everything. Pretty huge one too....not to get into niche talk on ya.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    John, if your daughter has an kittens left one of Axle's brothers or sisters would be a perfect companion.
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Leave the window open... :rolleyes:

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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    Originally Posted by John Durham View Post


    Dont want him to get a complex, but what can I do?
    I hear they're good in sweet-n-sour sauce?...
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      John -

      I have a cat like that - wants to be in my lap (and squriming around) every time I sit down. We came to a compromise when I began using a spray bottle (standard plastic hand sprayer bought in a garden store).

      Just water in it - set to fine mist spray. I used the word "no" firmly and a spray when I wanted to be left alone. Took a bit but Babee figured it out and now sits near instead of ON me when the spray bottle is visible.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jacqueline Smith
    First of all....Joe and Gary.....behave!

    I agree with some of the other comments.....get another kitten.

    As Charlotte mentioned, you will hardly notice any difference.....except you'll get some peace and quiet.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gaurav Duggal
    Hey John,

    As others have said, another Kitten does help (assuming introductions go well). Our room-mate had a Siamese and he needed attention all the time. So we got a second cat and since then they've become best friends and as a pair are pretty much maintenance free.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Buy the little dude some catnip and just let him zone out. Serious.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Hey Guys , Thanks for all the helpful and even hilarious responses. Believe it or not, this is weird, but he has behaved every since I wrote this post, and has been laying off my keyboard and just sitting up next to me...

    Being very considerate of it.

    After weeks of doing this... Spooky.

    Its like he could read my post or something.

    Really weird.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      Hey Guys , Thanks for all the helpful and even hilarious responses. Believe it or not, this is weird, but he has behaved every since I wrote this post, and has been laying off my keyboard and just sitting up next to me...

      Being very considerate of it.

      After weeks of doing this... Spooky.

      Its like he could read my post or something.

      Really weird.
      Now that is one special kitty and one special relationship you two have!

      Let's hope it continues.

      If not, another vote for getting him a little playmate. That worked wonders for me, well, before I developed an allergy to them.

      Enjoy your little kitty for me.

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        John -

        Either you have a brilliant cat who can read - or you finally got the message across.

        I've found with dogs two or three repetitions and they understand what I want them to do or stop doing. With cats - it's 30-50 repetitions before the cat finally decides I'm serious about the rule.

        kay
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        • Profile picture of the author John Durham
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          John -

          Either you have a brilliant cat who can read - or you finally got the message across.

          I've found with dogs two or three repetitions and they understand what I want them to do or stop doing. With cats - it's 30-50 repetitions before the cat finally decides I'm serious about the rule.

          kay
          I think it was his breaking point Kay, because this morning he is sitting on my lap purring, and taking a pet here and there but he isnt messing with my keyboard or pushing my hands around..... Maybe it was the repetition thing. After weeks, its so ironic that he got it right when I made that post. It was really very obsessive before...Very cool. I enjoy working with him here now! Lol

          Also,
          Thanks Miss T. I will!

          Actually, it really MUST have been the repetitions , he must have gotten tired of the rejection, but on the good side, he is now going to learn that I love him , and it wasnt really rejection, as he is still getting attention, just more balanced, so Im not worried about giving him a complex now. He is seeing that he is still wanted, just not on the keyboard and making the connection I think.

          Bigtime breakthough!

          This fella is going to find out about cat nip today for this Sal. lol

          Ps. Can you roll cat nip and smoke it? lol I might just zone out WITH him....JK
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          • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
            Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

            This fella is going to find out about cat nip today for this Sal. lol
            uhmmm bro, your going to give a cat that your training on boundaries cat nip ?

            p.s. I am on skype now, if you have a moment.
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  • Profile picture of the author RyanEagle
    You have to train and discipline axle.. he will get used to it soon.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

    <snip> My ex had their claws removed (cruel if you ask me)...and never let them go outside.

    They would stare at the windows.... So when she was out of the picture I started letting them out.

    Bad mistake because they had no way of defending themselves.

    It worked out for awhile... then I went away for a week, and left them a little window open.

    When I came back there was a big mean wild Tom Cat sitting in my kitchen, eating all their food, and there was fur everywhere...from my cats.... they were gone.<snip>
    Very sad story. My condolences. This is like a metaphor for children who can't defend themselves and aren't properly protected. It is making me think of what happened to a bullying victim in my part of the world:
    Bullying victim Amanda Todd
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