Success has changed me for the worst

48 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
Man I am getting all lazy and obnoxious and I find newbies to be irritating. I am turning into a jerk, bum, annoying marketer..... Advice? :confused:
#changed #success #worst
  • Profile picture of the author markcr
    Banned
    Sadly I agree.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7126687].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

    Man I am getting all lazy and obnoxious and I find newbies to be irritating.
    It's not success, it's time.

    "Everything has been said before.
    Nothing left to say any more.
    When it's all the same,
    You can ask for it by name."

    - Marilyn Manson, This Is The New Sh*t

    Familiarity breeds contempt.
    Signature
    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7127024].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author fin
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post


      Familiarity breeds contempt.
      This is so true. It's why I only read blogs of people who publish original content now. I get annoyed at me-too bullsoxt.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169998].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ReveryMarketing
    This is a serious issue man TRUST ME!!! I've been there. Before you know it you start making serious mula and you cant outspend what you make.

    It comes with such little effort that you forget to feed your mind with the brain food that got you the motivation for your success. Before you know it you'll fall into this comfort zone that wont let you get shit done and you'll just put things back for tomorrow.

    Its called PROCRASTINATION and I'm telling you its the DEVIL! Surely the fastest way to kill your business and your desire to make more money.

    The way that I've learned to deal with my Procrastination is by making a plan for my coming week on Sundays.

    I layout 4 hours days, with 2 hard core hours of super focused energy on things that will move my business forward and keep my mind oiled up for the next project. What ever you do, don't just sit there and do nothing...

    REMEMBER THIS: Watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, WATCH YOUR ACTIONS FOR THEY BECOME HABITS, watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny!


    AGAIN! DO NOT let get of a routine. It will be super hard to get back into the mind set of getting shit DONE and before you know it your at rock bottom wishing you wouldn't of let things go!

    My two cents...
    Signature

    Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/reverymarketing
    Niche Flipper - The Ultimate System to Building a Successful Niche Vendor Website. http://nicheflipper.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7127098].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author bradx
      Originally Posted by ReveryMarketing View Post

      Before you know it you start making serious mula and you cant outspend what you make.
      ........and this is a problem how?? lol
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7173903].message }}
  • @ CDarklock - Yeah that is exactly what it is like
    @ReveryMarketing - Pretty close to what I am experiencing. I'll make a bunch of money doing nothing and I am thinking "Shouldn't I actually be doing some work to earn this?". Then I find myself day after day not even putting on proper clothes (after all its not like anyone is going to see me).

    For the first time in my life I have actually left the house wearing my P.J.'s - If you were to see me you might think I was someone who just escaped from the booby hatch...
    Signature

    PM Me Now!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169317].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author shane_k
      Couple of ideas

      1) Start looking for things to do that you might enjoy outside of work

      For me I started learning how to inline skate this summer. I was always scared of falling down (don't know why) but it was somehting that was a bit scary, and it was also a new experience.

      You could create a list of 5-10 things that you can do outside of work that might be bit scary but exciting at the same time if you accomplish them.

      2) Stop teaching others about IM, and/or change niches

      If you are at the point where you are tired of people not taking what you teach and applying it, find some other niche. Maybe the IM niche is no longer fulfilling anymore.

      3) Get out of the house

      From what you wrote above, specifically the part where you mentioned the PJ's and feeling like who cares no one will see you like this, makes me think that you spent alot of time indoors. Nothing wrong with that.

      But maybe your mind is telling you it needs something else. Could be human interaction, could be interaction with animals, learn to ride a horse, get a part time job walking dogs and meeting women, lol.


      Seems to me that you are starting to realize that what you thought you would get once you started to have all this money coming in, you aren't getting it.

      This happened to me. I had all these ideas of when I had x amount of money I would be able to do this, and that, and I would feel more happy, more fulfilled, or whatever warm fuzzy feeling.

      Sure it happened up to a certain extent. But then I reached a point where I had to start looking for other things outside of work, outside of money.

      Like I said this summer I learned how to inline skate, and in 1 month I am going to start taking lessons on white water kayaking, (it's going to be pool sessions for the winter) and spending more time with friends just enjoying their company.

      I also find going out to more comedy shows helps.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169988].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Coby
      Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

      For the first time in my life I have actually left the house wearing my P.J.'s - If you were to see me you might think I was someone who just escaped from the booby hatch...
      lol - me too!

      I had the same problem - was getting annoyed at "newbies" and just getting somewhat "burned out" and incredibly lazy...

      here is what helped me...

      I took the summer off and traveled, did plenty of gambling at Tunica (I'm also a part-time poker pro) and basically just spent a crap ton of money on enjoying life...

      So - after I spent all of my money I was glad to get back to work and I think it really helped "get my mind right" to be able to take a break to enjoy some of the rewards of my hard work.

      However, I'm still in the "lazy" mode, lol - It's been 10 months since I released a WSO and I used to do one a week (getting one ready now though - at a snail's pace - at this rate it should be done by 2014)...

      If you come down south hit me up and we'll go to Tunica and gamble it up (and drink free beers)

      Cheers,
      Coby

      P.S. I didn't last long in college either after my business started gaining traction :p
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7171745].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Eduard
        I know the feeling. It's crazy how necessity can create motivation. But once you had some success and you're out of that context, you need to find new ways to motivate yourself. Personally, I use my need for constant challenge as a motivator to stay active and not settle into my comfort zone.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7172705].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WriterWahm
    Mahn, give it all away to charity and become homeless. Seriously, it works. You'll be all born again.
    Signature

    PM me if you want a romantic fiction ghostwriter.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169326].message }}
    • Originally Posted by WriterWahm View Post

      Mahn, give it all away to charity and become homeless. Seriously, it works. You'll be all born again.
      Nice. That would take some serious balls... I can't even imagine.
      Signature

      PM Me Now!

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169347].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author RohitShah
    Unless training newbies is your business, you are fine!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169354].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author FIP
    Resale Rights Ninja

    The Roman Empire failed when it got lazy and complacent. They underestimated the people.

    The people in your case are newbies. These people fuel your business I assume. They enable you to make your living/lifestyle.

    Thought about giving some stuff to them and thanking them for supporting your business?

    Thought about how fortunate you are becausae of them that you can stay at home in your PJ's and not have to do the 9-5 or 6-7 days a week a lot of those struggling newbies are doing to try to get to somewhere where you are?

    Appreciate your customers. Celebrate them. Value them. If those challenging newbies get too much for you (understandably) get someone else to deal with them....even temporarily.

    Why not send out an email or 3 thanking them for supporting/buying from you?

    Give them a freebie or two.

    The fact you are asking means you are aware of this so good on you for reaching out to others asking for advice.
    Signature

    "If one advances confidently in the direction of his own dreams and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined - he will meet a success unexpected in common hours"
    -Thoreau

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169357].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Warriors
    It's a combination of success and experience, I think.

    Once you've spent enough time in IM circles, you start to realize that people come into the game with crazily unrealistic expectations.

    And this isn't a "few people" it's really the vast majority of the people who get into it.

    Whether it's wanting to get rich with no work, or hoping they can succeed using shit websites full of shit content, most people out there just aren't ready to make the sacrifices they'd need to make to succeed.

    That in itself is not a bad thing... There are people like that in all walks of like.

    But it's the sort of thing you start to get really frustrated with when you're exposed to it over and over. And it's worse when you have had a bit of success yourself, because even though you are able to communicate what you did to become successful, it just never seems to get across to most people out there, because they're all looking for that quick fix.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169369].message }}
  • Newbies are not key to my business, but I did want to help people out so I started doing some coaching for free. I found that I could give awesome advice and lots of help, but people wouldn't follow through, which I found very frustrating. I really wanted to see people succeed. I felt like I was handing them success on a plater and they were just letting it slide on by without even taking a bite. Like they say "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink".
    Signature

    PM Me Now!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169391].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author jamesrich1
      Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

      Newbies are not key to my business, but I did want to help people out so I started doing some coaching for free. I found that I could give awesome advice and lots of help, but people wouldn't follow through, which I found very frustrating. I really wanted to see people succeed. I felt like I was handing them success on a plater and they were just letting it slide on by without even taking a bite. Like they say "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink".
      I think ultimately you are sick and tired of quitters and people who make excuses. I see no problem with that. Those types of people are not worth your time.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7172993].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

      Newbies are not key to my business, but I did want to help people out so I started doing some coaching for free. I found that I could give awesome advice and lots of help, but people wouldn't follow through, which I found very frustrating. I really wanted to see people succeed. I felt like I was handing them success on a plater and they were just letting it slide on by without even taking a bite. Like they say "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink".
      Just because you have a formula for yourself, doesn't mean it's right for someone else. People don't always have interest in the same business keys you have so you can only do so much for anyone else. You might wanna concentrate some interest into stuff to invest in. Never know when you're going to take a dive. I got knocked so flat on my ass a few years back that I'm just now catching my wind and am on my knees again. It's going to still be a few months before I'm actually up and running smooth again. Be very careful about getting too comfy.
      Signature

      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7176360].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

      Newbies are not key to my business, but I did want to help people out so I started doing some coaching for free. I found that I could give awesome advice and lots of help, but people wouldn't follow through, which I found very frustrating. I really wanted to see people succeed. I felt like I was handing them success on a plater and they were just letting it slide on by without even taking a bite. Like they say "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink".

      The problem is they don't value "free" - I can't stress enough how I think that you should never give away your coaching for free again - many people just don't appreciate it, and they actually can even become "haters" - so if you're going to get "haters" regardless of how nice you are - then charge them for your time and charge them a fee that results in you getting paid what you're worth!
      Signature
      ---------------
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7269214].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TimothyTorrents
    First World Problems lol
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169445].message }}
    • Originally Posted by timbonitus View Post

      First World Problems lol
      What I like to call a "Quality Problem".
      Signature

      PM Me Now!

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169458].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author WriterWahm
        Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

        What I like to call a "Quality Problem".
        Not necessarily... If you had a sister's husband's cousin's son who needed his school fees paid immediately or they would have to drop out of school; or a grandmother's younger sister who broke her leg and needs to be hospitalized... If you had all these dependents and they were all looking to you for help, this point would be moot. The truth is that in developing countries, you can never really have too much money. There will always be people who desperately need your help and since you would have been the product of some help yourself, you can't avoid the responsibility.

        Hence, 'first world problems.'
        Signature

        PM me if you want a romantic fiction ghostwriter.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169475].message }}
        • Originally Posted by WriterWahm View Post

          Not necessarily... If you had a sister's husband's cousin's son who needed his school fees paid immediately or they would have to drop out of school; or a grandmother's younger sister who broke her leg and needs to be hospitalized... If you had all these dependents and they were all looking to you for help, this point would be moot. The truth is that in developing countries, you can never really have too much money. There will always be people who desperately need your help and since you would have been the product of some help yourself, you can't avoid the responsibility.

          Hence, 'first world problems.'
          well I don't have too much money. That isn't a problem. lol.

          I certainly would be charging for advice from now on - People respect your advice more when they have to pay for it.

          I see people asking for coaches or help, but I know that unless they are willing to pay it likely won't do them any good. People usually know what they have to do, but they just don't do it. SMACK!
          Signature

          PM Me Now!

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169921].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author John Durham
          Originally Posted by WriterWahm View Post

          Not necessarily... If you had a sister's husband's cousin's son who needed his school fees paid immediately or they would have to drop out of school; or a grandmother's younger sister who broke her leg and needs to be hospitalized... If you had all these dependents and they were all looking to you for help, this point would be moot. The truth is that in developing countries, you can never really have too much money. There will always be people who desperately need your help and since you would have been the product of some help yourself, you can't avoid the responsibility.

          Hence, 'first world problems.'
          I disagree.

          I have a ton of people depending on me too. Everyone does. I have poor relatives. Every month 80% of my money goes out to other people, because I worry for their needs... and I dont get to keep it...because I was given opportunity, and I feel the responsibility to help others (An overblown sense of obligation) ...and Im from America, and I make relatively alot of money- comparitively.

          People from America still have people with needs surrounding them, there are still homeless people, and people who do without, and we still feel an obligation to help others too, and we are still tempted to give away half of everything we make...

          I think you have third world country "pride" personally. Im sorry.

          You guys arent the only people on the planet with concerns for something other than fast cars and big homes.

          I apologize if this attitude offends me.

          I send money to other countries too...

          There are needs everywhere. Its one thing to be legit- Its another thing to make an "M.O." out of it. And it's another thing to pigeon hole people who you dont know.

          I personally live on less than a third of what I make... and its precisiely because I see others with needs all around my life... Its not something that only happens in other countries...

          Oh yeah, and I still get complacent.

          Ps. And Im up working at 1:30 am, just so I can give it all away to people who are sleeping right now... I agree with the OP, that it can be a problem, and I think the only people who wouldnt agree, are people who have yet to experience any success.

          You wont see it till you get to that vantage point.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7175563].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Walter Parrish
    Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

    Man I am getting all lazy and obnoxious and I find newbies to be irritating. I am turning into a jerk, bum, annoying marketer..... Advice? :confused:
    well, the frustration definitely means you are on top of your game.

    so, my suggestion is start charging them, otherwise it's like the other poster said, their wasting your time and energy.
    Signature
    Use Feeder Sites, Articles, And Social Media Sites To Generate Unstoppable Traffic, FREE! Click Here Now To Get It For FREE
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7169904].message }}
  • Yeah I do need to change things up. I was going to school - loved it but dropped out this last semester. But I really need to get out there. Take off and travel and meet some new people. In the summer my passion is racing motorbikes but winter now here so I and dying to go south. I also was going to the gym, but I let that slide too.

    Now that I think of it... what happened was I worked my ass off all summer. I did nothing but work. Now I am on vacation - but it is a vacation without going anywhere; I really need to turn this into a real vacation.
    Signature

    PM Me Now!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7170010].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WriterWahm
    I think what you are is burned out. You do need a vacation...travel somewhere exotic and meet new people; take a step back from your business...you probably deserve it.
    Signature

    PM me if you want a romantic fiction ghostwriter.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7170450].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jackson Tan
    u need a new passion.. and seriously think about what you wanna achieve.. afterall.. the money we made are just tools to greater things,

    Pursuit of Happyness?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7170703].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author esuresh
    Yes. Take a trip to Kerala. God's might help you :-)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7171011].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    This is very interesting. Because success for now, has changed me for the better. I'm a lot more positive, a lot more ambitious, I actually work a lot harder too which is weird. I think because I've known what its like to be in bad situations in life, so the minute I tasted success it became an addiction. The more money I make, the more money I try to make, and the more money I wind up making. Its almost like I only had to taste success one time. Then my mind became so focused & I started taking massive action.

    However. This has not even been going on for 1 year yet. I imagine if it goes on 2-3 years, newbies may start to rub me the wrong way. I did notice yesterday when a newb messaged me, I thought "damn this is like the 16th time I've been asked this question". He had a blog in a niche that TONS of other newbies were in. And he was asking the same exact questions they had.

    Its like they all do the same things, make the same mistakes, ask the same questions, and yes... I can definitely see how that can become irritating.

    If I ever get bitter about it though, I'll just stop helping them. Not a big deal. More time for me to make money. I'm not sure procrastination will ever be an issue though. No way. I'm always too paranoid for that to happen. Even with success, the paranoia of knowing and experiencing a low income lifestyle... will never cause me to procrastinate.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7171165].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author mickyl
      a. I wish everybody here the same kind of troubles.
      b. Maybe, instead of helping newbies who irritate you, you can invest a small portion of your success in someone's happiness. My dream is to be able to offer some kind of a scholarship to emerging artists. I just can't wait till it happens....
      Find yourself a goal, no matter what. Something or someone who can benefit from your success and your money. Invest in it/him and you'll feel different.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7171470].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Really good stuff here.

      Joe Mobley

      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      This is very interesting. Because success for now, has changed me for the better. I'm a lot more positive, a lot more ambitious, I actually work a lot harder too which is weird. I think because I've known what its like to be in bad situations in life, so the minute I tasted success it became an addiction. The more money I make, the more money I try to make, and the more money I wind up making. Its almost like I only had to taste success one time. Then my mind became so focused & I started taking massive action.
      Signature

      .

      Follow Me on Twitter: @daVinciJoe
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7174274].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
        This is ultimately what happens when man stops caring about mankind.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7174749].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
          Familiarity breeds contempt.
          Yep. If you forget that people all have the same drives, and often the same backgrounds, it's easy to let the "same old stuff" get to you over time.

          When I was in direct sales, it was the same questions, objections, and excuses, over and over. The way around being frustrated (or bored) by that was to find something unique about every person you spoke with.

          That's harder to do online, because often there isn't anything to distinguish the guy who's asking the question now from the 600 others who've asked it previously.

          It gets tougher when you get to the point where you KNOW it works. At that point, you can easily fall into the "forgotten me" trap. You lose sight of the fact that you were in the same place, not all that long ago. That's made even worse by the Entitlement Kid - the guy who thinks you should do for him what you had to do for yourself. It all starts to blur together.

          IM adds to that. You see the destructive bast*rds - the spammers, scammers, pirates and thieves - and you wonder how that person can live in their own head.

          It doesn't stop. And realizing that is what makes it easy to deal with. You can't change it, unless you can change people. Not just a few, but ALL of them. People are what they are. Mostly great, always flawed, and each one carrying the same baggage and dreams as the next guy.

          Just like you.

          Understand that, and you'll only ever get frustrated by the individuals, not the group. That changes everything.


          Paul
          Signature
          .
          Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7174939].message }}
        • Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

          This is ultimately what happens when man stops caring about mankind.
          Just the opposite actually. I wanted to see people succeed so badly that when they wouldn't follow through it frustrated me.

          But you know what - I am not responsible for other peoples happiness. It was important for me to realize that.
          Signature

          PM Me Now!

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7265988].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rising_sun
    Banned
    Gather experience and learn a lot about it ,
    otherwise everything will be out of work or invalid ,
    keep confidence and always try to make friendship with successful person ,
    that can change you I think.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7171682].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author GobBluthJD
    Originally Posted by Resale Rights Ninja View Post

    Man I am getting all lazy and obnoxious and I find newbies to be irritating. I am turning into a jerk, bum, annoying marketer..... Advice? :confused:
    I'll just leave this here...First World Problems
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7173134].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author 993rs
    Why not travel the world and get your situation put in to perspective?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7173885].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    It's been said success doesn't change a person, it reveals who they are. Maybe it's time to work on that?
    Signature

    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7174071].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author leandros21
    A solution to your problem is to start doing some changes to your life, find a job, start some new hobbies or make new friends.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7174165].message }}
  • Originally Posted by ReveryMarketing View Post


    REMEMBER THIS: Watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, WATCH YOUR ACTIONS FOR THEY BECOME HABITS, watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny!

    My two cents...
    I just realized that my frustration with hearing people say "I can't" or "Its not that easy" was a direct reflection of my own flaws. This was really eye opening for me.

    @magiclouie - love the video. Very inspiring for me right now. The reality is I am in a rut where I feel I have to work work work when there is more important things in life like enjoying the journey.

    I haven't been living the life I want to live because of fear. I have gotten comfortable and have been afraid to do what would bring me true happiness. I saw the same thing in other people and criticized it. What they were doing was a lesson for myself because I was doing the exact same thing.

    I got into internet marketing so that I wouldn't have any limitations and so that I could travel, enjoy life, and be happy. But what happened instead was I got trapped in my own little bubble and couldn't see beyond it. I wanted to travel but was afraid and didn't really believe I could do it.

    This has been a wonderful breakthrough for me. I am going to go travelling and the thought of it makes me feel so alive. I am so excited just by thought of following my bliss and truly living.
    Signature

    PM Me Now!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7265910].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    Donate your money to non-profits, perhaps. I would recommend The SENS Foundation.

    Donate so much that you need to start over maybe... or donate enough so you feel a little more humble, or at least humble enough.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7265959].message }}
    • Originally Posted by Michael Ten View Post

      Donate your money to non-profits, perhaps. I would recommend The SENS Foundation.

      Donate so much that you need to start over maybe... or donate enough so you feel a little more humble, or at least humble enough.
      Yes I agree. I am a firm believer that we should serve and share the gifts that life has given us.
      Signature

      PM Me Now!

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7265997].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author xramp
    Go out to place where you don`t have basic facilities spend some time there. Seriously it will help you to get out from this.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7266012].message }}
    • Originally Posted by xramp View Post

      Go out to place where you don`t have basic facilities spend some time there. Seriously it will help you to get out from this.
      yup I know it. then you start to appreciate the really simple things - like toilet paper.

      But I do need internet access.
      Signature

      PM Me Now!

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7266030].message }}

Trending Topics