If you could know...

11 years ago

No, I wouldn't want to know. It's not a finish line I want to keep in view.

Many seem to love the phrase "live like you are dying" and I've always wondered what the draw was on that one.

We're "dying" from the moment we're born if you want to get technical about it - but we're also living every moment we're alive.

I prefer to live as if there will be a tomorrow. When it ends - it's done.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Nope. Just knowing would cause me to die of anxiety well before the predicted date. However, I'd die happy knowing I disproved the accuracy of the device.

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travlinguy 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Nope. Just knowing would cause me to die of anxiety well before the predicted date. However, I'd die happy knowing I disproved the accuracy of the device.

Or maybe you confirm its accuracy. What if you knew when you'd die and could set up your family with a massive life insurance benefit?
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- Dan Riffle 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by travlinguy
  
  Or maybe you confirm its accuracy. What if you knew when you'd die and could set up your family with a massive life insurance benefit?
  
  Say it told me I'd die on January 1, 2040. Let's discount the years of stress that would add to my system (which I'll agree the device could be including in the prediction). At the very least, I'm pretty sure I'd keel over from a heart attack on December 31st.
  
  Regarding life insurance, you don't need to know the exact date of death to buy insurance. I already have plenty.
  
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  Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.
  
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  MissTerraK 11 years ago
  
  Ooh, no way!
  
  I think I would then be second guessing every single thing that I did, wondering if it was the best way to spend my time, since it was limited and all.
  
  That in turn would take all of the fun out of whatever I wanted to do and ruin my spontaneity and well, you know me, I'm all about having fun.
  
  It just seems that I would have a sad, sad life with something depressing always looming on the horizon, influencing my every move. Yuck!
  
  Terra
  
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travlinguy

11 years ago

Okay, the answers are pretty much what I've expected. Say there's a medical test you take to get this info. Would you have your kids tested?

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

Okay, the answers are pretty much what I've expected. Say there's a medical test you take to get this info. Would you have your kids tested?

Absolutely not.
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- MissTerraK 11 years ago
  
  No way!
  
  I wouldn't want to burden them with something I won't even burden myself with.
  
  Terra
  
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  ElGuapo 11 years ago
  
  Noooo, I wouldn't risk it.
  
  Sure, on the one hand it might alter my priorities and character for the better. My fear would be that it would make me realise the futility of life and give up on everything and anything.
  
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travlinguy

11 years ago

Okay, there are several reasons I'm asking. The first is, I have a friend with a terminal illness. It's genetic and can be, but is not necessarily passed to his kids. He has two sons. There's testing for it but they haven't been tested.

The second reason, and this sort of brought the thing with my friend to mind, is I'm reading a weird story. It's about a baby that's born and the doctors immediately discover this kid is aging 4 years every hour. So within 24 hours he'll be gone. The parents are trying to make the most of the day obviously. Some very interesting dynamics in this tale.

Finally, I've been thinking of writing a story of my own where I guy somehow gets access to a method of testing where people would know their date of death right from birth or any time after if they so chose.

I'm also wondering what type of implications such a test would have on society and our culture.

Oh, my last question about testing your kids. I meant that you would know but certainly not tell them.

I'm still undecided on the whole thing. I think that if someone knew they might take life more seriously and try harder rather than waste so much time as many do. I'm pretty sure I would have behaved much differently if I knew when I was going to cash in my chips, especially if that was at a much younger age.

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Brian John

11 years ago

gonna have to go against the grain on this one...i wouldn't mind knowing. i've always been one that wants to know as much of the truth about things as i can learn, regardless of how unpleasant it might be. i think the general consensus for must of us is that we'll live to our 80s or maybe early 90s, and many of us live our lives somewhat accordingly...go to school, get a job, eat healthy and exercise, work x # of yrs, save money, retire, ect. the reality is that that's often a "best case" scenario that a good number of us won't realize, as some of us will go early due to illness, auto accidents, etc. point is, if i knew i had only a few yrs left, i prolly wouldn't spend that time in grad school, for example, with my head stuck in books for 10 hrs a day. nor would i spend that time learning about the latest im technique...and for that matter chatting away on this forum. i'd be spending more time visiting friends and family, traveling, enjoying more time w my wife, prolly eating a little less healthy lol, things like that. it's easy to say, "well if that's what u want to do, u should be doing that now." the reality is, unless u have unlimited resources or are very lucky to absolutely love what u do, ur doing something on a daily basis other than what you'd most like to be doing.

i def understand that many people would not want to know when they would die, as it might be stressful or for whatever other reason. if i could know however, as the time grew nearer i'd def continue to be living life more and more to it's fullest. and that doesn't mean working a half-day fri so as to have a little longer weekend, or hanging a plaque in my kitchen that says, "live, laugh, love" lol. i'd be working ever-less and playing ever-more. i'd be living in a way that most really can't do if they're planning on being around 80-90 yrs. maybe that's just me

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MissTerraK

11 years ago

After reading your post Brian, I couldn't help but wonder how you planned on working less and having more fun if working is what brings in the funds to finance the having fun.

Just curious.

You weren't planning on using credit and either sticking it to cc companies or leaving a huge pile of debt for your family members to have to pay off, I hope!

Terra

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Brian John

11 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

After reading your post Brian, I couldn't help but wonder how you planned on working less and having more fun if working is what brings in the funds to finance the having fun.
Just curious.
You weren't planning on using credit and either sticking it to cc companies or leaving a huge pile of debt for your family members to have to pay off, I hope!

Terra

good question terra. thought about addressing that in the post but it was getting a little long. the point i was trying to get across is that i'd work more toward having the resources to do things i wanted here and now, i wouldn't be as focused on building a long-term business and saving money for my later yrs as i am now. i def however would not saddle my fam w debt. i still would continue my current ventures to help my wife have financial resources the rest of her life, but i wouldn't be putting near the amount of time in front of a computer that i do now. that's all i was saying.

something else i should have mentioned: i don't have kids, but if i did i would def reconsider the extent to which i would live my final yrs that way. i would then prolly be more focused on doing things that will help them financially after i'm gone, which i would gladly do rather than simply indulge myself. still though, i would take more time for me and less time for work than i currently do.

in short, if i could i would want to know the exact time and date, and as that time grew nearer i'd do progressively more of the things i enjoy doing.

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travlinguy

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Brian John

gonna have to go against the grain on this one...i wouldn't mind knowing. i've always been one that wants to know as much of the truth about things as i can learn, regardless of how unpleasant it might be. i think the general consensus for must of us is that we'll live to our 80s or maybe early 90s, and many of us live our lives somewhat accordingly...go to school, get a job, eat healthy and exercise, work x # of yrs, save money, retire, ect. the reality is that that's often a "best case" scenario that a good number of us won't realize, as some of us will go early due to illness, auto accidents, etc. point is, if i knew i had only a few yrs left, i prolly wouldn't spend that time in grad school, for example, with my head stuck in books for 10 hrs a day. nor would i spend that time learning about the latest im technique...and for that matter chatting away on this forum. i'd be maximizing every day visiting friends and family, traveling, spending money much more frivolously, prolly eating a lot less healthy lol, things like that. it's easy to say, "well if that's what u want to do, u should be doing that now." the reality is, unless u have unlimited resources or are very lucky to absolutely love what u do, ur doing something on a daily basis other than what you'd most like to be doing.

i def understand that many people would not want to know when they would die, as it might be stressful or for whatever other reason. if i could know however, as the time grew nearer i'd def continue to be living life more and more to it's fullest. and that doesn't mean working a half-day fri so as to have a little longer weekend, or hanging a plaque in my kitchen that says, "live, laugh, love" lol. i'd be working ever-less and playing ever-more. i'd be living in a way that most really can't do if they're planning on being around 80-90 yrs. maybe that's just me

Excellent thoughts, Brian.

Several people have mentioned knowing the actual date of death would be stressful but I wonder about that. In 2005 I was told I had a serious case of base of tongue cancer. That's the part of the tongue that's out of site inside the back of your throat. I had a tumor the size of a robin's egg.

I asked what would happen if I refused treatment and was told the tumor would first stop my ability to eat and then to breath. The reason I asked was that the treatment was MASSIVE amounts of radiation to the head, neck and inside my mouth.

With all this radiation I'd lose my ability to make saliva and would also lose my ability to taste anything as they were going to fry both my saliva glands and my taste buds. There was no other way to zap the tumor without going that route. The radiation oncologist also said that in 35 years he'd only given more radiation to one person and that guy got so fried that he stopped treatment half way through.

For several months I thought about many things, one of them was the miserable treatment and the other was the miserable death without it. Finally I obviously decided to take the treatment. It was grueling.

The reason I bring this up is because it gave me a much different perspective on death than I had before. I can honestly say that I'm not afraid to die. The idea of death doesn't bother me at all. I want to live as long as possible and make the most of my time but I'm cool with death.

One of the reasons I think I believe in mystical stuff is that I ended up being able to taste everything and I can still spit as good as I wanna.

The doctors were blown away. They had absolutely no explanation for this as they said my taste buds and saliva glands were reduced to useless withered raisins.

They asked if I had any idea how I avoided what they were certain was a 100% loss of these glands. I said that during radiation every day and the time following I imagined my glands were protected in icy little igloos and that only healing energy was coming through and not the harmful stuff. One of them rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, he's one of those..." The other guy did a massive paper on my treatment and the power of belief in radiation and chemo.

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Brian John

11 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

The reason I bring this up is because it gave me a much different perspective on death than I had before. I can honestly say that I'm not afraid to die. The idea of death doesn't bother me at all. I want to live as long as possible and make the most of my time but I'm cool with death.

pretty incredible story.

regarding the quote above (and since u asked), would u want to know the exact time and date?

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travlinguy 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Brian John

pretty incredible story.

regarding the quote above (and since u asked), would u want to know the exact time and date?

I can't say 100% but if there really was a way to know I would probably go for it.
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LeeLee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

The reason I bring this up is because it gave me a much different perspective on death than I had before. I can honestly say that I'm not afraid to die. The idea of death doesn't bother me at all. I want to live as long as possible and make the most of my time but I'm cool with death.

I found facing death freeing. I lost the fear. I was sorry to say goodbye to close loved ones but thrilled that I might finally know answers to questions we all ask.

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kenmichaels

11 years ago

I lost the fear. I was sorry to say goodbye to close loved ones but thrilled that I might finally know answers to questions we all ask.

Originally Posted by LeeLee

I found facing death freeing..

wait ... what, do you mean "found"? .. does that mean your terminal?

Originally Posted by LeeLee

I lost the fear. I was sorry to say goodbye to close loved ones but thrilled that I might finally know answers to questions we all ask.

When i was young i was never scared of death.

However as i get older, I now fear it.
I don't want to die. Ever.

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LeeLee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by kenmichaels

I lost the fear. I was sorry to say goodbye to close loved ones but thrilled that I might finally know answers to questions we all ask.

wait ... what? do you mean "found"? .. does that mean your terminal?

When i was young i was never scared of death.

However as i get older, I now fear it.
I don't want to die. Ever.

I'm not sure where I went wrong grammatically most likely. I was in a state where I could have died. I was surprised to find how easily I was at peace with it. After my life was saved, it gave me a lot to think about. I am very grateful to not fear death as much as most people seem to. Of course, we all fear the unknown to some extent.

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kenmichaels

11 years ago

Originally Posted by LeeLee

I'm not sure where I went wrong grammatically most likely. I was in a state where I could have died. I was surprised to find how easily I was at peace with it. After my life was saved, it gave me a lot to think about. I am very grateful to not fear death as much as most people seem to. Of course, we all fear the unknown to some extent.

nope as you explained it, you said it properly.

I thought it was a typo ""found" instead of :find""

A few times i have been on the brink, I am allergic to peanuts,
one night i went on a date to a Ty restaurant, unbeknownst to me at the time
they cook everything in peanut oil.

All i remember is feeling weird , then realizing what was happening and saying
"oh shit" as i was passing out. I sorta regained conciseness when
a really .. really over weight guy was giving me the Heimlich and screaming at me
not to give up. Obviously that did nothing, but he broke 3 ribs and i woke up on a ventilator ... for the second time in my life

a few other times were completely my fault ... but i got lucky.
It was only after the fact i realized i almost died.

Never once though, was i ever anything other then F'n scared.
Never as it was happening ... only after the fact.

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Frank Donovan

11 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

Finally, I've been thinking of writing a story of my own where I guy somehow gets access to a method of testing where people would know their date of death right from birth or any time after if they so chose.
I'm also wondering what type of implications such a test would have on society and our culture.

I can think of one or two possible flaws with that premise.

If it's just a question of fate - well, as all Terminator fans know "There is no fate but what you make..."

And if it's by some kind of science/medical breakthrough, I'd figure that any medical knowledge or technique that advanced, would also carry within it the means of prevention.

But it's an interesting thought experiment all the same. Personally, I wouldn't like to know.

How to people on Death Row deal with knowing when they will die?

The way I'd deal with it it to assume my death was imminent (like, within 24 hours). Any extension would then be a bonus. Not that life on Death Row would be exactly living.

Of course, if time dragged on for months or years (as it often does for Death Row inmates), it might get harder to keep up that assumption.

Frank

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Kurt

11 years ago

How to people on Death Row deal with knowing when they will die?

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MissTerraK 11 years ago

Good question Kurt.

I really don't know because I have no experience in knowing anyone who has been on death row.

The only example I can think of is from The Green Mile movie but that is only fiction. :p

Terra
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Dennis Gaskill

11 years ago

I might opt to know when I'd die if that option was available, but I'd have to think about it some because it's not something you could change your mind about -- once you know, you know.

I don't think I'm afraid to die, although that's easy to say when you're not facing death. In fact, I'm very curious about it, though not in a hurry to satisfy my curiosity.

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Kay King

11 years ago

It's genetic and can be, but is not necessarily passed to his kids. He has two sons. There's testing for it but they haven't been tested.

If it were as simple as removing the gene if it were present - of course you'd do the testing. But it isn't that simple, is it? A knew a family who faced a similar problem several years ago. A test would confirm whether the disease might be expected....but there was no cure and there was nothing at the time that could prevent it from happening.

Their choice was not to test their daughters as children. Instead, they informed both girls as they reached adulthood. The children were given the option of whether they wanted to know or not - and that seems fair.

If I were diagnosed with a disease and told it was "terminal", I'd want to know the doctor's opinion of how long I had to live. But my question would not be as much "length of time" as "length of quality time".

Hey Brian - If you knew you had only one good year left...you could max out your credit cards having fun and then file bankruptcy at the end. Works for me - screw the banks.:p

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Brian John

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Hey Brian - If you knew you had only one good year left...you could max out your credit cards having fun and then file bankruptcy at the end. Works for me - screw the banks.:p

kay, that cracked me up lol...always enjoy ur posts.

putting aside the ethical aspect, i wouldn't do that if for simply no other reason than how it might affect my family and/or the money being left to them.

can appreciate where ur coming from though

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Ephrils

11 years ago

I wouldn't want to know. I still feel like I have a lot of work left here so I hope it's not soon

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kenmichaels

11 years ago

I am an adrenaline junky, to know when my time is up would take most of the fun
out of things.

hmmm... Just imagine how different the world would be.

I can imagine all the short timers getting even with their perceived enemies
banks getting knocked over
all the politicians would be dead...
prisons would be obsolete ...

I guess if the population knew their own expiration date, everyone
would wait until they were a short timer, and then do whatever they wanted.

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AprilCT 11 years ago

Gene testing aside, that doesn't account for car accidents or a piano falling on someone's head as they walk past on the sidewalk. In the intervening years, treatments might be found to correct flaws, and there goes that sell by date.
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LeeLee

11 years ago

To the original question - NO

I struggle enough with procrastination and often do things at the deadline. I cannot imagine how little I would get done if I knew for certain how long I could put it off.

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Brian John

11 years ago

Originally Posted by LeeLee

To the original question - NO
I struggle enough with procrastination and often do things at the deadline. I cannot imagine how little I would get done if I knew for certain how long I could put it off.

perhaps much of the stuff ur doing could be put off permanently. for many (if not most) of us there's certain things we do today we prolly would never do if we knew we weren't going to be around in a year, for example, simply because there would be no reason to do them. are we going to be concerned w what the consequences might be in five yrs time if we don't do them? certain things, yes, but almost certainly for some other things we're doing on a daily basis, no.

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LeeLee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Brian John

perhaps much of the stuff ur doing could put off permanently. for many (if not most) of us there's certain things we do today we prolly would never do if we knew we weren't going to be around in a year, for example, simply because there would be no reason to do them. are we going to be concerned w what the consequences might be in five yrs time if we don't do them? certain things, yes, but almost certainly for some other things we currently do on a daily basis, no.

Along that same line of thought I used to suffer from anxiety and spent many useless hours worrying about things that never happened. A couple of years ago it clicked for me and the second I begin to feel anxious, I ask myself what is the worst that could really happen. I base the answer on my own experience and usually I am worrying about nothing.

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Ken Leatherman

11 years ago

No way would I want to know the exact time and date of my death. The only thing I fear about death is that I won't get to chase the hot young ladies around the mall any more.

Ken

The Old Geezer
P.S. Still chasing the girls

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HeySal

11 years ago

No way - mine or anyone else's. I'd rather know exactly what comes after for me so I could use my time here the most productively in preparation.

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Kurt

11 years ago

After giving it some thought, sure I'd like to know. Knowing when I'd die also means knowing when I wouldn't.

I could tackle bank robbers, jay walk across heavy traffic, play russian roulette, pet grizzly bears without worrying about dying.

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